All Comments on 'That Darkness Place'

This is a good idea but possibly spoilt by 'forced rhyme'.It left me with the impression that if it was written with the same ideas being expressed but without rhyme at all it could be very strong."Cuz" is not the best.

gripping piece,

you can tell that

this is coming from experience

the pain is very real.

very strong emotions here

and I thought the rhyming

was just fine.

~ J