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Click hereWe sleep on the edges of a giant bed
I've memorized the landscape
each freckle on your back
every blemish on the ceiling
We sit at a table
in close proximity
but worlds apart
minds adrift
The vast space between us
feels insurmountable
I try to cross the chasm
there is no bridge
I love you some days
but the space between those days
is growing wider
it is me who is drifting away
Reel me back in
it is not so difficult
but kindness does not come easy
and coldness breaks my heart
I am looking over the edge
considering the unknown
over the deep freeze
on your side of the bed
two people who were a couple
sit together sharing their isolation
longing for the passion that died
longing without resentment
longing with love
longing that brings sadness
for passion that is lost
[I am encouraged by the absence in your poem of the meanness, rancour and resentment that often overtakes people who have lost a loving relationship—5*****]
The power of love and the powerlessness in losing it is clearly evident in this. The structure and flow of the work is wonderful, and the sadness is brought to bear in the lilting ebb of the stanzas. Great job, and I hope it isn't a nonfiction poem.
Evocative, sad. The third stanza is gut-wrenching, full of the aspect of relationships that is hardly ever addressed by Lit authors. No question - 5.
. . . reeled me in with your desperate words. Hope it's not a RL feeling.
& coldness breaks my heart .....
even standalone these 2 lines would be superb philosophy !!
but worlds apart
I 5-ed just for the beauty of these 2 lines .....