All Comments on 'The Pause'

I like this better than you first one. Many of the same things apply though.

I'd suggest that you spend some time in the Poetry Discussion and Feedback Forum. There are some GREAT poets there that will be happy to help. Here's the link: http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=25

I particularly liked the second stanza, which is tight, strong and pretty much perfect. You've got talent. Welcome to Lit!