by oregon_gal
On my browser it also double spaced, making the poem longer than need be. Also making me bored. Short, sweet and to the point is better.
I really liked this poem a lot. Beautiful imagery and a wonderfully intimate sensuality. It is the kind of poem that makes the reader wish it had been written for him. I also like the strong presence of nature in the poem — I can really feel it pressing in on all sides with its great quietness. In short I loved it. Why not record it and add it to the recordings thread?
Those first five lines are quite good. This could be a wonderful poem if you watched the cliches. On my browser, it's double spaced, which makes it seem too long. How about breaking it into strophes?