Truly lost

The sun rose and warmed my face

I listened to that album, filling this empty space

Tears streaming down my eyes

Knowing you sit there as well and cry

I don't know how I am going to make it through

These thoughts I have of never knowing you

They are the very hardest to conceive

Something I have yet choose to believe

My heart seems broke a million ways

There isn't enough glue for the upcoming days

I stare at my commitment with these watery eyes

I wonder how I am I ever going to continue this lie

Why didn't I put my foot down, to stop this fast

Knowing full well these emotions needed to pass

I want what is best for you, I truly said

Today, looking back, it is those words that I dread

I could make this right, some how, some way,

Fixing problems, that is my forte

This isn't a problem, so it seems

This love, life, happiness, and dreams

I can fix that, yes I can

I don't know how, but I am THAT man

Constantly striving to be the good man you see

Fighting internally with my own selfish plea

If I do right by everyone within my life

It is I who will live this life, filled with strife

I am sure you haven't a clue

How much you mean to me, how this love is true

On this first day, this version of me, anew

Lost, wandering, longing for my muse

My soul feels transparent and paper thin

It happen so quick that I have lost my grin

I am gazed upon with my watery, sorrowed, eyes

My peers look at me with surprise

To see this man wear a frown

It has been 5 long years since I have donned that gown

Not my brightest shinning moment within life it seems

Fulfilling selfish needs while others prayed and dreamed

You were there and held my hand

A time remembered, a time not so grand

I was given the honor, to return this deed

I hope I did it right for you, in your hours of need

The more I think, the more I cry

I just come back to the same thought and wonder why

How do I live my life without you in it.

How do I continue this lie and the subterfuge within it

How can I have tasted something so very true

How can I live thirsting for the depth that is you.