- Erotic Poetry
- 'twas the night before Halloween
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Click here'twas the night before Halloween, and all thru the house,
every one was stripping, even the mouse
her legs were laid open, on the bed with great care
in hopes that Mr. Dick, soon would be there
her clit was all nestled, safe in it's pink lip
waiting on Mr. Dick, to slide in his big tip
her mind was filled with visions, of cumming again & again
and of that hard dick sliding, out & then in
just ramming her tight pussy, then going for more
fucking my tight pussy, until it is sore
now it's Halloween morn, and Mr. Dick is back
to say happy Halloween, before he hits the sack
and play with my nipples, while his hot load he un-packs
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoI never expected a Halloween poem to end up this good. Though the comparison of the woman to a mouse was a little out there, the whole poem was on-target, creative, and stuck in my head a little, though I'm still wondering what made the writer choose to relate it to Halloween.
Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rustylookinover 19 years agoi got a good laugh out of this. keep up the good work and keep putting smiles on my face
DanaQtover 19 years agoI loved this but wanted to point out some errors in hoping to help you. I showed the man I'm with and he really got a kick out of this. We were stuck between a 3 and 4 because I felt this was unfinished. Made me want more! As far as him, he said how much he loved the title. We both had a great laugh!! Here are some suggestions with your poem being first, and me "playing" with it below. I hope you don't mind.
'twas the night before Halloween, and all thru the house,
every one was stripping, even the mouse
her legs were laid open, on the bed with great care
in hopes that Mr. Dick, soon would be there
her clit was all nestled, safe in it's pink lip
waiting on Mr. Dick, to slide in his big tip
her mind was filled with visions, of cumming again & again
and of that hard dick sliding, out & then in
just ramming her tight pussy, then going for more
fucking my tight pussy, until it is sore
now it's Halloween morn, and Mr. Dick is back
to say happy Halloween, before he hits the sack
and play with my nipples, while his hot load he un-packs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Twas the night before Halloween and all thru the house,
Every one was stripping; even a mouse.
Her legs were laid open on the bed with great care,
In hope that Mr. Dick would soon be there.
Her clit was all nestled; safe in it's pink lip,
Just waiting for Mr. Dick to slide in his big tip.
Her mind was filled with visions of cumming again,
And of that hard dick sliding out, and then in.
Just ramming her tight pussy then going for more-
Fucking my tight pussy until it is sore.
Now it's Halloween morn and Mr. Dick is back,
To say happy Halloween before he hits the sack (shorten)
And play with my nipples while his hot load un-packs.
Like I said, I really like this. The meter is off causing problems with the flow. I think if you played around more with this, it would really be outstanding. What I did was make each line capitalized, which is proper in poetry. Also, I took out some of the commas that weren't needed, which helped out the flow. Adding and subtracting 'some' words as well to help. By taking out the "he" before "unpacks" in the last line, made this sound finished to me.
-Never to hurt and only to help.
Thanks for making us laugh:)
Dana
My Erotic Tailover 19 years agoSo if he unloaded his dick...
he would now be a Hollow-weeney?...he he he
