All Comments on 'verities of the morning'

bunches. Everything I read from you has a sort of cutting ache.

too much for the ending. 75

Five.

Mmmmmmmm well done! ;)

Good concrete detail and telling of a common situation. Lose the following passage though:

'my friend and her lover

giggle while making breakfast -

they’re so cute they make me sick.

don’t speak to me.

no loud noises, please.'

It spoils the linear nature of the poem whilst adding not much. The poem is about you and him not them.

making yourself look bad in your poems, which is actually the first step to being a good poet. Lovely detail, well told.