All Comments on 'Walking Emily across campus at UCLA'

A simple and quite honest poem. I was surprised by the last stanza, added a nice twist

Well writ with a nice humorous twist.

Short, sweet and real life. I loved it.

It is very mature. And I do not refer to your stage in life, but rather your skill level. The poems you have posted show a high level of perception and talent, this one included.

A clever insight, well written. Thanks!

Suggestion: new-fledged (hyphen).

Fly

the poem speaks for itself, and love the title......nicely done......don

I got a bit thrown by your line breaks, I think it was the line breaks--

how a crouched cat eyes <--read to me like eyes as a noun not a verb...because it is separated from the rest of the action... does this make sense? I am no expert, and this is just one reading, and I know you know what you are doing but you might consider:

how a crouched cat

eyes new fledged robins from its lair

is how young men track

my daughter's walk

across the square

and there a mother's other pain—

I am no longer the choice prey

or maybe consider switching the S1 and S2, so the image of the young men tracking your daughter's walk. Maybe I just read it too quickly.

And I do not think anyone needs to come to Minervous rescue, we are cool and she knows I respect her writing and I am sure she is confident enough to take my suggestions....

:)

as

As said, mature poetry - simple relective, humorous, economical - what a delight!