by prettygirl35
is to find a way to say all these things in a manner that has not been said on Literotica ten thousand times in exactly the same way. I can tell you have passion and I am not being mean, but you need to read more poetry, use some words that aren't so terribly overused. I did not vote, but wanted to give you a bit of advice. I can feel you have passion, but that alone does not make a good poem. I wish you the very best. Look around Lit and find some of the excellent erotic poets that exist here and learn from them. Keep writing!
~ maria
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. As a new writer I can use all the help I can get. I don't take it as critisism I just take it as a learning experience. :)