All Comments on 'what would you do'

by mnrendevous

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lorencinolorencinoover 16 years ago
Connecting with the soul?

The last four lines are quite magical and create the idea of of a spectral or dreamlike encounter, but unfortunately the preceding lines contradict all that. I think you should try to rework this to create a unity in a poem about an intimate coupling that is about love without arousal. At any rate, that's what I sense is struggling to be born here. You may have a very different intention

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