All Comments on 'Wiffle Ball with Harvey Lauber'

Five.

and have never cared about this Yankee Dodgers spat, but this poem brings such vivid parallel memories- near vicinity, same era. I wouldn't change a word. I come back to this over and over again.

not buying, looks like a gratuitous insert. I might have bought if it were the Dodgers. It might have made more sense.

Perhaps 1201 doesn't understand American History enough to grasps the cynicism and tolerance you speak of.. I found this to be a great piece of adolescence in a time when the Yanks ruled and tolerance was evolving with in the youth! I dunno guess this is just my opinion! I gave it a 5

My intent was to establish a contrast between cynicism and tolerance represented in l2 and l3 in the stanza.

"I don't know what is the purpose to some of the sides, (as in pissin in the pool,"

context. setting. era.

a fleshing out...

I don't know what is the purpose to some of the sides, (as in pissin in the pool, unless it somehow relates to the Yankees beating the shit.. ) A5

it's really time you got a collection together and submitted it to an agent. if you haven't already.

you play with a reader's emotions with each write, taking them (i believe) where you, as author, would have them go. that's some skill. i'm happy for readers to go on a wander, but only because i lack the touch to direct them as smoothly as you do.

i like your use of straightforward language in this write, as it reflects the subject/narrator. no curlicues and folderols for effect; this is as simply strung (which is anything BUT simple) together as King manages with his stories: a reader gets to the end having experienced things, the language never having once got in the way to make us stub our toes.