All Comments on 'Wine by Candlelight'

Welcome to the poetry side of Lit.

This first write is quite well honed;

A small suggestion you might consider

To change the words to make the reader feel the loss:

Reflection, as my redemption,

A thousand tea lights

For a thousand years

Add to an eternity

Spent without you.

Instead of:

Reflection, as my redemption,

A thousand teas lights

For a thousand years

Added to eternity

That I spend without you.

This gives it a more universal appeal - it's not just him but anyone would feel the loss of being without her.