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- Within
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by Hyades
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Corpse_riderabout 13 years agoVery sweet.
A good poem, concise and to the point.
One suggested change: As the poem is about the narrator expressing his lover is affecting his state of mind etc, wouldn't it be better if the second stanza read:
You walk the chambers of my heart.
It's hard for me when we're apart.
You prowl the corners of my mind.
No wonder you're on it all the time!
Just a thought.
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