All Comments on '24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 03'

This is nowhere up to your other stories I dont get why we got 4 pages to tell a 2 page story I gave your other stories a 4 or 5 they were great fun to read this is boring as hell sorry but you want the truth dont you ? Sometimes you need to clear you head and start again good luck . Dagoatmandavid said it cya later gave you a 3 sorry just not for me

who gives a fuck what the beer tastes like? An odd thought to share with the reader while each is baring their souls and owning their failures. Is beer real important to you?

You implied that Tammy's cheating influenced Gail to cheat, but you really didn't have Gail explain how she made such a huge leap from thinking about it to actually acquiring her own fuck toy. I think more details would have helped explain Tammy's full influence on Gail's decision to risk her marriage. Especially since you included the detail of her apologizing to Jay's wife, it would make sense to explain exactly who Jay was and how their affair got started. Also, it would make sense for him to ask her about her stated intention to keep fucking Jay after they got married. She hasn't owned that yet, although she implies it when she said earlier in the story that any kids would have been fucked up by her behavior.

So it is a lack of answers to those logical questions that makes this chapter clumsy and disjointed. Seems as if you were in a rush to finish it. It's really a pretty good story, if you like all the human drama. So take your time and end it with logic and compassion. And thanks for your efforts.

and self justification

They do not change the fact that she believed "it was only sex", "it didn't mean anything" and willingly (eagerly?) chose to bring another man into the home and bed she shared with her betrothed.

All hail Gene. We must be in Emerald City listening to the all powerful Oz? The road is made of yellow bricks, and the city is green. But no matter how you paint it the cheating is still scarlet.

Of the two I don't know who is the more immature. As to "owning" it, neither one do.

The analogy with the beer tasting better with each step of his soul baring, I have to call B.S.

The worst line in the chapter? "I wouldn't hurt her as bad as what I did to you. I'm older and I now have a sense of integrity, a sense of being, a ... sense of self."

wtf? Are you telling us walking away from the woman to whom you were engaged when she was found in bed with another man is Not an act of integrity?

I really don't get some of the criticism; it's almost like the kommentators are expecting an A to B route description minus what there is to see enroute.

Liked it... 4*

Actually, I think your storytelling has improved through the three chapters. Characters are richer, deeper, and it doesn't feel as hurried to me.

Not bad so far except the Rush story - it did not add anything, could have used an alternative and accurate only if you have an extreme liberal view of the world. Sticking political potshots in stories, especially hackneyed political potshots, suggests a serious lack of writing ability.

and the retard brain does not agree. Conflict. TK U MLJ LV NV

Nailed it. Well said!

Don't think much of Gene. She's still using Tammy as an excuse. She was a slut at heart, or Tammy would have been revolting to her. I'm not saying she can't change. She's still alive, and time and space forces us to make choices. This is the reason we're born into the material world instead of the spiritual. Anyhow, doesn't look like she's "owned" it yet if she's still making excuses.

I am sure that we will have a reconciliation but I still can't swallow her wanting to keep on doing it after the marriage... Thinking about it again if she was not suffering from guilt after the first fuck then it would be much better to stay as far way from her as possible, she does not have normal reactions.

That it takes a big man to be emotional and cry. It takes a bigger man to laugh at the crying man. I'm laughing. This has morphed into a girly man story. Don't know how much more I can read before shooting myself again.

And who the fuck carries a Goddamn BANDANNA? Other than a ditch digger.

The comment about Rush, that was pathetic. I can tell how this is going to end by your liberal comment. You're going to tongue kiss her ass and remarry. Oh wait, you'll share her with a black first.

People give a picture of themselves.

It's great writing and story telling, but I hope to God that's all this story is.

I'd like to say my girlfriend did that to me, but she didn't. Instead, she waited until she was my wife. I caught her in bed, took one solitary picture because she was on her knees, being drilled by a supposed 'ex' boyfriend. Thomas was banging her for all he was worth, on MY side of the bed. I snapped the single picture, turned and walked out of her life. In my truck before I thought anyone could catch me, Julee almost proved me wrong. Backing out, she grabbed my bumper, the only thing she could grab, but I didn't stop. I continued backward out of our driveway and down the street until she let go. When she got up, it looked like she hurt.

My parents died when I was 19 years old. My young brother and older sister live their own lives across the country from me. Other than Julee, I was alone, we had just started planning for kids.

It's a long drive to Alaska from NC, but with the ferry taking up much of the trip, I made it. My first job was on a fishing boat, the second too. After a year I was the skipper and after two more, I was the owner. Two years later I was living in Ketchikan and sitting at my favorite breakfast diner when I saw Julee walk by. She knew I was there, she had seen me walk in, I guess and our eyes met. Before she could come through the front door, I was going out the back, through their kitchen.

Of course, it turned out she was there because she knew where I lived. A few minutes after I got home, I had packed for a fishing trip a week early. I had just gave it some throttle, idling away from the dock when I saw her walking down toward me. She stopped when she saw me leaving. I fished for a week, then returned to pick up my crew with a small payday for myself. Julee wasn't anywhere to be seen until I answer my door that evening. The cunt had found me again.

She asked to come in to talk. Hell, she had come a pretty long distance and had been persistent. After pouring myself a drink and offering her nothing, I took a seat across from her and waited. As yet, I hadn't said a word.

Julee started out by apologizing for what she had done and swore it was the first and only time she had done that. Well, she actually started out by saying we were still married. Man, will that get your heart pounding! She went on and on about how I was the love of her life and she had been waiting for me, pure as snow it seemed, without a relationship with anyone. I let her go on and on about how much she loved me and hoped for a second chance. Finally, she was talked out. My answer was simple.

From where she sat at the table she could see me go to my gunsafe and retrieve a packet of papers. Inside, I pulled out a photo and slid it over to her and the time line was stamped on the front. 2 weeks after I left and Tom was giving it to her from behind. A year after that, she was riding him in his car. The next series showed she was living with him and the second to last was time stamped two months prior, where she was blowing him in the living room of our old house.

The final photo was the clincher. It showed her with a black eye and contusions all over her face, where she lay in the hospital. From where I sat I could still see the remnants of the black eye, makeup covered up almost everything. Thomas had beat the hell of our her and from what I understood, he was still in jail. She knew that I knew everything and began to cry. I never said anything because I hadn't needed to and she was still crying when she closed the door behind.

You see, I knew from friends Thomas had moved in with her and they were living as man and wife. Hell, one of my friends who worked at the small clinic nearby told me she had three miscarriages by Thomas, trying to have a baby. I never had to say a word, the pictures did the talking and better yet, they gave her my answer.

Agreed that the beer taste, the Rush comment, etc was just superfluous.

Added nothing to the story and only made you seem hackneyed for adding such a gratuitous political shot in.

Also, there should be absolutely ZERO guilt felt by him and how he reacted to the cheating cunt's thorough betrayal!

If that is going to be a recurring theme in your stories, then I won't be reading many for sure.

You had him acting extremely reasonably for the level of hurt, pain, and disgust that her actions and behaviour produced. Then had him begging forgiveness for it.. stupid, wimpy and completely unjustified.

I liked and enjoyed this story! If you have to nitpick over a Rush comment. Your comment really should have been left out. The story is a very good read yes there are some minor mistakes but if you were smart enough to find this website you should be smart enough to not be upset by any errors so minor.

Hey, where's my pool que?

Counseling changed his core value to pacifistic ... interesting ...

Interesting comment about Rush. I wouldn't look to him for religious advice and I wouldn't listen to a preacher first about economic and political matters. Having said that, I don't think Rush's vehement critics wear WWJD bracelets either. lol

Story sucked number two. This was a take a good shit story.

Another LW wimp girly man author. The guy burned his fiancee and her lover in Chapter. Great job!!! Then he turned into an apologetic, crybaby wimp in this chapter. Seriously??? And Rush..wtf does this have to anything? Hey Real Men, if you want a tough author then try Ftds or Stangstar or even Winterfrog. Orrrrr go to Bdsm and Non-Con categories.

Its funny how anonymous people read the free stories but have to be mean and cruel.

Listen to him every day

But Chair 1 was.better.

The stuff about Rush was ugly and nasty. Ridiculous. Certainly not worthy of a person of faith.

And, as a Republican, fuck Rush Limbaugh

Implausible story line, but well-written and compelling. Thank you.

I liked his album, “ Farewell to Kings” ooh wait.....Wrong Rush?

Wow. If you think Rush is bad then you must definitely have never voted for a democrat. :)

Nice RAAC story. I hate RAAC/CUCK stories!!!

You equal her cheating with his revenge. I understand you need to do that because you're heading to a RAAC, but I hope you don't really think they are the same thing. She lied, betrayed and disrespected him for months. And she should have kept doing it after they got married. He was upfront and only showed to the world was she had done to him. In a way, she helped her to reach where there is now. So, there is no "I need to apologize for what I did to you", or "I was bad too" because it's comparing murdering someone with taking a pic of it and posting it for everyone to see. She killed their relationship with lies and betrayals. He just reported it.

This is a sickening line of thought for those writers who have no idea how to write a believable reconciliation tale.

The only thing I find morally wrong is captain save-a-hoe, or M'lady, to his friends. She was right one chapter ago, she was a selfish entitled fucked up lil' girl. She was proud of him for dumping her. She was seeing him as a man's man. He had self respect. He handled her. And she admits that she needed that kick in the ass.

Did HE need her cheating on him? Fuck no! Did he do any healthy growing up? Again, no. He simply learned how to COPE...with...TRAUMA. Yes, trauma. Nothing like finding out your entire world view was a lie, and that the person you trusted most didn't give a fuck about you. It's very good he learned to heal from her betrayal, but it wouldn't have been needed if she didn't hurt him.

So....I'm all for a RAAC. He dumped her, she deserved it, she knows she deserves it. GREAT. They still hold feelings for each other. He's a lot less trusting of her, and she's a lot more mature. That's honestly a perfect recipe for a romantic RAAC, and I'd love that. Can....we just do it without all the pathetic simping? Can we acknowledge that our main protagonist is the ONLY one that views his revenge as morally on par with cheating? Can we also acknowledge that the story did NOTHING to show the readers that emotional and philosophical journey to completely change his mind? That it FEELS forced, and that it oozes the author's personal beliefs...just maybe?

I could have ignored this part, but you keep hammering it in. And it feels fake and forced every single time. It takes my immersion away each time. I can ignore it maybe once or twice.

If the main character truly feels his exposing her is on par with her not only cheating on him, loving it, but declaring how much fun it will be to continue cheating on him for years to come.....then please show us that process. Because there is potential there. I can put my own bias aside. A woman losing her status IS a big deal. Much less so for a man. It's not like you don't have the ability to do a deep dive into this recurring point....but you don't seem to want to. And it's a complete 180 from his original feelings.

Gail/Marie cheated and lied to Jim and planned to keep cheating and lying to Jim even after their marriage. Jim just exposed her to her family and friends for the true selfish entitled person that she was. Trying to place blame on Jim for his actions is a well known counseling tactic of blame shifting, spreading the blame around to try and minimize the horrific actions of the real guilty party - Gail . Gail cheating was the sole cause of her and Jim's break up. The writer does this on purpose because they plan on a reconciliation between Gale and Jim and by shifting blame to Jim it makes it easier to redeem the Gail character. The writer even goes so far to change Gail's name to Marie in the hopes that the reader will forget about what a vile person she was in the first place. You even have Gail/Marie experience a failed marriage to an abusive spouse so that we can take pity on her character. You even set Jim up with a failed marriage to another woman to try and convince Jim's marriage failed because Jim failed to marry the special one he's destined to marry - Gail/Marie. You can polish a turd all you want but its still a turd.

Cuck-a-doodle-doooooo

Rush was a great American and truth teller. Anyone swayed by the lies and slanders of whom by those who hated him deeply are just sad, stupid fools.

There was absolutely no excuse for you to veer stupidly into including the slander of Rush into this story. The fact that you claim that other people were stupid in real life doesn't absolve you of being stupid by including it in your story.

It is getting really deep and smelly in here. The simple fact that we have an equivalency formula working on their respective actions if frankly preposterous. That we are treated to his wimpering moral philosophy is just giving us yet another classic example of the sort of weak modern male that so populates these pages. Yes, the wonderful modern male, victim of the longest peacetime expansion n the history of th is country, and as such socialized to be unable to operate a screwdriver.

There is no way his exposing her and her lover's affair to friends, contacts, familt, wedding guests, etc equates to the same level of nasty as her moral terpitude in not only cheating, but excitement at continuing to cheat with no empathy for her fiance and no understanding or awareness oh his pain. Yeah her being scorned by her close family and friends, and forced to start over and leave town is painful, but that is retribution for her perfidy and her hideous attitude post discovery.

She wrote the guys wife a letter of apology? But never tried to send him one? Sheesh.

What a shit storm of a story.

Ok but you’re starting to repeat yourself I hope you’re going to finish this in the next part and not make it that long.

Easily your weakest chapter. Easily the weakest viewpoint is that people are random and unpredictable. Your premise is that marriage is like living with a slot machine, where you pull the lever every morning and you never know what's going to pop up when it stops. Complete bullshit, for people who want to avoid and deny the skill and responsibility of discernment. Its difficult, especially as it requires skepticism, courage, and embracing reality. You know, being an adult. Gail was a shallow selfish self-absorbed whore, and cuck boy couldn't see that until he finally saw her getting her brains fucked out, and loving it, and planning to keep doing it after the marriage. So who's fault is it he was that deaf dumb and blind? He got what he wanted to be married to, he deserved what he got.