3 Crushes and a Wedding Ch. 07

And with that, she turned around and I discovered that the back of her dress plunged all the way down to her waist. Or a little past that even. She swayed her hips, knowing we were both staring at her, then partially turned her head around and smiled before continuing her walk. The woman oozed confidence and sensuality.

"Was that... a threesome proposition?" Megan's face was torn between a frown and a smile.

"I think so."

"Huh..."

I brought my eyes back to her. "Huh. Huh?! Are you actually considering it?"

"Are you not? Have you seen her?"

I stood there, mouth half-open, trying to find an answer. Of course I'd seen her. And felt her. And heard her. How could anyone not see her? Then Meg laughed and slapped me gently on my arm.

"I don't mean now, you goofball. But maybe, some day, down the road, if we both feel like it, we can revisit, uh, this," she waved a circle in the air around Valentina's sashaying back.

I still didn't know what to say. How, in any world or universe, do I get a threesome proposition from Valentina and Megan? This must not be real. This whole weekend was a figment of my imagination, right? Right?!

"Champagne?" The bartender brought me back to Earth.

"Two flutes, please." Then I turned back to Megan. "Let's learn to walk before we go run a full marathon, Meg."

Sensible words.

We had to build something solid before we started adding other volatile variables. And there was nothing more volatile than Valentina. Besides, as made obvious by the few seconds just now, having both of them in the same room wasn't a smart idea, let alone, well, a threesome. I couldn't remember how to breathe or function. And I could barely handle Megan by herself. But Valentina too? I'd die. Still, that didn't stop my imagination from forming a few, exquisitely detailed mental images. Yes, there was a strap-on, and yes, I was wearing it once.

The bartender placed our flutes in front of us. We each grabbed one, and she toasted, "To learning how to walk." She winked.

I smiled and clinked our glasses. "To learning how to walk."

We both sipped a bit of champagne. The look in her eyes quickly shifted from cute and friendly to burning. I was starting to learn how to spot this change before it occurred, though I wasn't yet at a stage where I could be ready for it. It still made me instantly weak in the knees.

"You think we can, uh," she stretched her champagne-holding hand toward my arm and started walking her nail down my skin, "go spend some time learning how to tandem walk? Or do I have to tell my itchy fingers that it's still too early?"

Shivers. Fuck.

And that raspy voice of hers was going to be the end of me.

"Early," I winced, common sense prevailing over my raging hormones and her itchy fingers. There were still a few compulsory wedding festivities between the cake cutting and bouquet throwing, so us bridesmaids couldn't disappear just yet. "But I spotted a little private corner, if you want to..." She'd already placed our champagne flutes back on the bar, grabbed my hand, and started walking... "Oh, Ok."

I guided her to a spot away from the reception tent, where we'd be hidden by a couple of palm trees and some plant-covered trellis.

She was on me the moment we rounded the last corner away from the guests. If our two previous kisses were charged and sensual, this one was hungry and insatiable. Her lips sucked me in, her tongue morphed into a possessed demon on a mission to whirl my world around. One second, I was in control; the next, she took over. One second, I was making her moan; the next, she was stirring the biggest whimper in me. One second, I knew where I was; the next, I was lost in her.

I didn't just kiss her, nibble on her neck, and bite her lips. I didn't just duel with her tongue until both of us won and lost, simultaneously. I didn't just play with her hair and trail my hand down her exposed back, then bring my hands to caress her sides and her chest. I didn't just pinch and tweak her nipple through the material, eliciting purrs and whimpers that traveled through our joined mouths into my own throat and all the way down to my knees. I didn't just feel goosebumps in my skin and juices in my panties and vibrations in my clit at every single touch between us.

No, it was way more than just that. Because my heart was dancing with every feeling. Palpitations of joy and love made every little touch, sound, sight, taste, and smell a million times more exciting. I had waited longer than a decade for this moment, but that didn't matter anymore because she was in my arms now.

"I love you," the words, which had been bouncing in my head for the last few hours, finally slipped through the cracks of my self-control and shimmied across the tiny space between my lips and her neck. I stiffened. I didn't know if I could take them back, or if I wanted to.

I did love her. Despite my brain telling me it was too soon, we barely knew each other, we hadn't yet had sex, and we were stuck in this highly-intense destination wedding setting. Of course it wasn't logical, but love never is.

And why was the 'love' word so taboo anyway? What was taboo about feeling love for someone? And why couldn't you just say it when you felt it, instead of playing mind games with the other person for months? I didn't want that kind of relationship. I wanted the one where I could say what I felt when I felt it, without unnecessary, fabricated societal hurdles.

We parted a little. She looked deep into my eyes, one more stare that undressed my soul and left me breathless and wanting.

"Excellllllent, excccellent," a nasal, slurring voice rose behind me, accompanied by non-rhythmic clapping.

What in the... My eyes widened, my body tensed further. Megan's reaction mirrored mine. We let go of each other, but I insisted on keeping our pinkies laced. I needed that link between us, especially now.

I turned around to find Scarlett standing there. Well, maybe 'standing' isn't the right word. She was clearly more than just a bit drunk, and leaning on a palm tree to avoid falling down.

"Awww, that is sssso adorrrrrable," she slurred, sarcastically, and slowed down her clapping. "You love herrrr? Are you ssssssure about that?"

"What do you want, Scarlett?"

"I'm not herrre forrr you," she frowned as she pushed herself off the palm tree and stumbled a few steps towards Megan. "I'm here forrr her, to warrrrn her."

I switched from just pinkies to full-on hand-holding. This didn't look good. I wanted to stop this, but I didn't know how to do that without causing a scene, or without alarming Megan. Maybe she'd wonder whether I was hiding something if I stopped Scarlett from talking.

"You think you'rrrre special, hun?" She placed her hand on Meg's shoulder to steady herself. "You'rrrre not. Did sssshe tell you what sssshe was doing yesterrrrday evening? Orrrr yesterday morrrrning? Did she say sssshe has feelings ffffor you? She ccccan't stop thhhhinking abbbout you? That there'ssss an un... und...undennniable chemmmistry bbbetween you?"

"That's enough, Scarlett." I scowled.

She turned to me, a raised eyebrow and a sad, empty expression on her face. "What's the matterrrr, Zoeeee, you can dish out trrrruths but you can't taaaake'em?" She flipped back to Megan, the quick movement clearly making her more dizzy.

"Scarlett, you don't know what you're saying, you're drunk." I tried to remain calm and firm.

"And why is that?" She looked into Megan's eyes, ignoring me. "Why, huh? Becausssse your girrrrlfrrrriend here, she is your girrrrlfrrrriend right?!" she asked her without waiting for an answer, "thinkssss she can rrrruin someone's life and therrrrre would be no consss... conssseq... consssequennnces. Well, look here," she turned back to me and pointed her index at her own chest, "how about this consss... consss...consssenq... Oh fuck it."

"Scarlett, please stop." I nearly pleaded this time.

She instantly snapped and opened her drooping eyes wide. Her face straightened, her jaw clenched, and it's as if she found a moment of lucidity in her foggy mind.

"I sstop when I wwant to. You're nnot the boss of me. I am the bossss, I make the decisions, I am the boss," she kept pointing her index at her chest, then switched it to point at me. "You, you, you don't get to waltz into people's lives with your eyes and your smile and your confidence, and say whatever the fuck you want to say, as if there are no consequences." The word rolled off her tongue this time. "As if you're not gonna turn their world upside down. You just talk, it's easy, and you think it's just as easy to hear your words."

Clearly, me forcing her to take stock of her feelings when she'd dropped by my room hadn't gone well. In retrospect, maybe I should have stayed silent, instead of lighting a fire under a ticking bomb.

I tried to apologize. "I didn't..."

"No, Zoe, no. You," she pointed her index at me again, "you don't get to tell someone in their mid-fourties who they are or aren't. That their entire life was a lie, that they've spent years living an illusion." Her tone gradually dropped, her accusatory index too. "You don't get to shine a light on the clusssterfuck that is their reality and walk away, leaving them to deal with all those truths and lies they can't ignore anymorre." She breathed out, tears straining at the corner of her eyes. "Like the ffact that they wasted theirr whole life looking forrrr love in all the wrrrrong places. Sssearching for a relationship wherrrre there wasn't one forrrr them."

A tear broke away and fell on her cheek. She started wiping it and stumbled again. I held out a hand for her, but she pushed it away.

"I thought you were marrie...," Meg started saying, innocently, then caught herself and stopped. Too late.

Scarlett turned back to her. "I am," she wiped her tear. "Say it," she cried out, "say I shouldn't be."

Megan squeezed my hand harder. What could she even say or do in front of such a total disintegration of a human being? Nothing. I felt worse. I had the pangs of guilt to deal with too. I knew I had triggered all of this, and I had no idea how to stop it or make it hurt less for Scarlett.

"This was my ffffault," she sighed. "I rrrran from you once, I didn't rrrrun this time. I should have." She fixed Megan again, and in the most serious and ominous tone I had ever heard, she just said, "Run."

And with that, she lowered her eyes, un-clutched herself from Meg, and started stumbling away.

We stayed there for a couple of minutes, silently staring in the distance. I didn't know what to feel then. Guilt? Sure. Confusion? Yes, some. Anger? Probably. Relief that things didn't escalate further? Maybe.

I couldn't imagine what was going through Meg's head now. How would she interpret this? Would she run away, like Scarlett told her? No, no, she was still holding my hand. She was still here with me. There was hope. We could salvage us.

"I'm sorry." I finally whispered.

"For what?"

The question surprised me. Did she not witness the same scene I witnessed?

"All?! All of it?!"

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You told me you were trying to show her she's attracted to women. She's clearly having trouble facing that truth, that's not on you."

"She told you to run from me," I muttered.

"She was also very drunk." She tilted her head and paused for a second. "Are you trying to make us fight or something?"

"I'm just surprised you're not using this as an excuse to leave."

I regretted the words as soon as I'd said them. Why? Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut? Was I trying to get a rise out of her? What on earth was wrong with me? You don't push your love away, you don't test them or hurt them. Do the right thing, Zoe.

"What the hell, Zoe? I apologized, I told you how I feel about you, we kissed, I said I'm giving us a chance, do you not believe me?" The sadness in her tone ended me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. That was extremely hurtful and out of place. It's just... this whole situation is so fucked up."

"Well, un-fuck it then. Is there any reason for me to run?" The pragmatic side of Megan had taken over, the one that thought with its head more than it felt with its heart. Maybe that was a good thing. She wasn't retreating like before, or letting her emotions take hold of the situation. I could reason with that side of her.

"No. That was her. She couldn't handle me telling her I liked her, about a decade ago. Or that she might be gay or bi, outside my room earlier today."

"What about what she said? What happened yesterday morning and yesterday evening?"

The real questions.

"One, I already swore that it was all before we even talked and clarified our feelings for each other," I had to make that absolutely clear again. I winced. "And two, she touched herself in front of me, then I did the same thing in her presence. No, uh, real mutual contact."

I whispered the last words and hung my head. I hadn't done anything wrong then, but why did it feel like I had cheated on Megan? Why was the timing so fucked up?

"Ah," her expression wasn't easily readable, but at least there wasn't that blank, distant stare I had seen on the lanai or in her room. She was still with me, but clearly more than a little annoyed. "She moves fast for someone so deep in the closet," she sneered.

Oh, there was the snippy side. I knew she had to let some emotion crack that stoic facade at one point. Still, I reminded myself that snippy was better than empty.

"I would have preferred if things had happened differently, but I... I needed those. As revenge over her rejection back then or a boost for my self-confidence, or maybe as a way to fully close that chapter and realize there was nothing there for me anymore, I don't know." Well, at least that was out in the open now.

"That's all there was to it?" She was back to her pragmatic tone.

"Essentially."

There were tons of details, but they didn't matter anymore. And the most incriminating parts were already divulged, so why spend hours describing or explaining it all? That wouldn't do anyone any good.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" There was hesitancy and apprehension in her tone. No more pragmatism.

"No." I was surprised by (and happy at) how fast and easy that was to admit. "Not romantic at least, just mildly nostalgic, maybe."

She paused for a moment to study my eyes. I opened myself up to her and let her dive and leave no stone unturned. I had nothing to hide.

"I'd have liked it if things were different too, Zo, but I can't control what's already happened. Plus, I took my sweet time before talking to you and you basically had to force me to say how I feel. So I guess I didn't make things easier either."

We looked at each other and it felt like we were both contemplating the series of events that got us here. An alternate path would've been smoother if and if and if. But the rugged, bumpy road had still led us to each other, and that's what mattered the most. Right?

"OK then, that's it. Situation un-fucked," she ventured a shy smile. Just like that, done and done. How could it be that easy? "The most important question now: Do you still have doubts about my promise?"

"No." That was even faster and easier to say. No, I couldn't possibly have doubts after seeing her handle this so well.

Of course anything could happen, like in any relationship, but I was now sure that she was in this with me and we were going to give it our best shot. Together.

Together. What a beautiful word.

"You are way too smart and calm for me." I grabbed her and brought her closer.

She was smiling again, that simple bright dimpled smile of hers that could make me move mountains. How did she surface back in my life? How did I manage to weave my way through the mess of this weekend and still somehow end up with her in my arms? I don't know. I just had to make sure I wasn't going to waste this miracle.

"I am an adult and I know how to behave like one... when I want." She leaned into me, with her big green mesmerizing eyes fixed on mine. "Now, where were we? I seem to recall you saying some words and I feel like we need to unpack those words."

Shit, my love confession. "Uh..."

"Not so talkative now?" She teased.

The moment had passed, even though I still felt every word of that 'I love you.' But that hurricane of emotions had subsided, likely under the weight of Scarlet's interruption. I remained tongue-tied.

"So, do we go back to attend the rest of the party or..." She seemed more hesitant now.

To hell with the party! Kay and Jill were there, they could handle the cake-cutting and bouquet-throwing. And Em would understand our disappearance if she knew the full story, wouldn't she?

"Or..." I winked. Someone had to drag our flirting modes back from whatever hole they had clawed into and put them out in the open again.

"Or... I actually have a small surprise for you."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the hotel lobby, the elevator, up to her floor, and her room. And with every step, we shed more of our apprehensions and inhibitions. I'm not sure if anyone noticed the extra giggling and not-so-innocent touching, but I didn't care. This was what true, unabashed happiness felt like.

We walked into her room. She closed the door and turned to me, still lacing her pinky with mine, but suddenly a little shy again.

"So... on the rare, rare occasions that I allowed myself to think about you," she whispered, "I always pictured running into you as an adult and inviting you over to my place for a cup of hot cocoa and marshmallows. Because that's how our story started. Those are the moments I felt the most safe and happy... and intellectually stimulated... and emotionally content and maybe, just a little, excited and aroused. So that's how I pictured us revealing our feelings, over hot cocoa. We'd talk, I'd tell you how much I like you, how much I always liked you, and how I could never stop thinking about you. And you'd admit it was mutual. Then we'd kiss and that'd be our first real date."

She blushed and continued. "Obviously, we've done things a bit differently and we kinda jumbled the order of events already, but I'm still holding on to that idea of a date with you with hot cocoa and marshmallows. So before we, uh, go any further, do you want to...?"

She pointed at two large glasses that sat on the outdoor lanai table. "I'm not a psychopath, though. I won't make you drink hot cocoa in this heat. This is iced cocoa. With a bit of rum. At least it's supposed to be, if they got my request right."

"That's..." My eyes nearly welled up. "Amazing. Like you. Everything about you."

I took her in my arms and kissed her with all the force and passion that I could muster. My heart was bursting with all the feelings, but it was love that took over at first, only to be pushed aside by excitement. The kiss quickly evolved into groping and tongue sucking until my brain caught up and told me to slow down.

"If we're ever going to drink those, we should take a break."

"Uh, yeah," she wiped her mouth and straightened her dress. "Otherwise I believe I am two seconds away from using your one French sentence on you," she raised an eyebrow and smirked.

We both knew that meant the famous Moulin Rouge question, but I played coy. "I'm sorry, I don't remember which one that was."

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" She rolled the last R and simpered. Oh, my heart.

I wrapped my arms around her again. "Fucking finally!"

"Or the other way around." A full-blown smirk followed that.

It took me a second to get it and burst out laughing. She joined me. The purity of her joy radiated across everything around us, contrasting with the wicked twinkle in her eyes.