All Comments on '4 Gone. Conclusion?'

Very good. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.4 stars

Thanks Tajfa, I've got a few on the go, next up should be a full fat version of 20 in 750, completed bar a final edit. After the darkness of Action, Reaction and Consequences I wanted to put a few lighter stories out there. INKENT

Well done !

Unfortunately, I was a bit distracted by the frequent use of the word “brought”, which did not make sense at all.

You probably meant “bought” (from “to buy”).

I have seen this error many times with different authors in the last weeks - is it possible that you dictate your story and the speech recognition software is faulty?

Hell no! If you're unhappy with the physical appearance of your spouse, then talk to them in a compassionate manner. Cheat on them, then expect a divorce. Threaten to cheat on them, then expect a divorce.

I enjoyed this story very much. Top marx! Don't think I'll apologize for that one. Keep writing, please.

Rosenkavalier, thanks for bringing that to mt attention. It's why I do like to have someone edit, my regular buddy is fairly busy, plus he had a longer piece of work with him at the moment. That's one if the drawbacks of self edits- you are "blind" to some simple errors such as this, the likes of which Google Docs/Word don't pick up. I'll do my utmost to be more vigilant:) INKENT

Multiple ending stories generally don't get voted highly. If you like one ending the other not so much and the rating suffers. IMO you'd be better off making two stories

Mwestohio , thanks for taking the time to read & comment. To be honest, I write primarily for my pleasure and simply see Lit. as an opportunity to share and give those that enjoy a story, simply, a story to read. I may do as you suggest, it'll be interesting to see how the audience views the different aspects of the same tale when looked at as "pure fiction" and a "perceived reality". You have my grey matter working! INKENT

Really nice. Well written and humorous.

Also an added star for your humble intro.

So all in all, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really liked the two stories. The first was a happy tail that showed the foolishness of not taking things seriously when you are told there is a problem. It could have been an April fool's joke. The second was a not so happy ending, at least for one of the four. I kind of hovered between the 4- and 5-star rating before giving it 4-stars. Well-done, thanks for the entertainment.

A bunch of idiots. The guys were sloths, and the ladies were all about to cheat. Charlie still needed to be knocked down like in the first version. He was a predator and did not deserve a happy ending. Did any others have kids? Only one was mentioned.

They would have all grown up with functioning alcoholics for dads.

All pathetic characters. But a decent story.

As a goner myself of many years standing I'm obliged to like this story. Also enjoyed the humour which us Brits tend to understand a bit more than some. 5 stars!

Britease, thanks glad you enjoyed. I tried to mimic the silly Brit sitcom type humour, its obviously not for all :)

I think you made your point from the preface. In the first version, you made each man appear as a heart attack waiting to happen, and worthless in the sack. It’s funny how the wives were each man’s polar opposite- beautiful, sexy, great condition, and often horny. More funny is how the guys were complete idiots. The like-RL version was definitely much more plausible… and not funny. FWIW, I can’t imagine any man discussing impotence with friends. That’s an invitation to become the social group’s punching bag.

Hmmm pretty elaborate hooker scheme, not sure the girls totlally cleared themselves and kinda trashed the trust with the sharing between them. I for one wouldn’t take kindly to that

So what you’re saying. It’s alright to cheat on a guy who is out of shape. He has to do all the work around the house have a good job and be able to fuck for hours and cum 20;times in one night Everybody knows that a guy will fuck any female even if they have to put a bag over her head. Wives are flirting at the gym they go to. That’s ok no matter how their husbands look or shape they’re in. So the guys now get in shape and get hit on because women now days women have no morels or loyalties. It’s about dick a cock etc. So now the guys have every right to fuck anything they want when they want because married women are easy. Got it.

I have no idea whether the story has any merit because I just couldn’t make it through the entirety of that whiney preface. 1*

I liked it overall. The 2 version ending was a bit jarring. Well written so I gave ya 5 just to counteract a 1 bomber.

AWESOME, so well crafted. Love how this played out.

Many thanks for sharing your writing. I enjoyed the story premise. Yes, so easy for guys in particular, to fall into a rut of over-eating/drinking and putting on the middle age tyre. Whereas the wives, in a well planned world, can often use the additional spare time they have to make themselves physically fitter and healthier. To the extent that they often look 10 years younger than their husbands, even if actually around the same age.

Then, things start to happen... Chers.

It was interesting and kept the attention.

I can see a lot more drastic crap happening with a hairbrained plan hiring the hooker lookalikes.

If I heard this story in a bar, I would have moved on before they got half way through due to bordem. Far too much irrelevant side comments. Distracted too much.

i like the original . the real life would be all 4 getting played , nice stories

Good one.

Though it reallu bothers ne that having less sex will break up marriages

British or English or whatever - you made the characters SO stupid that it ruined any chance the story had of being enjoyable. Even in a fictional story it was impossible to find the fun.

Good story about the most cruel and selfish creature that walks on the earth

Not bad. Why did it take the guys thinking they were fooling around? 40 years old and that out of shape? Funny interplay but these guys should have more pride. Too serious an analysis HUH.

Unreadably irritating

I see someone else picked up on the names.....Chico.....Harpo.....Zeppo....Groucho.....all the Marx Brothers.....lol

Enjoyed the stories, I thought #1 was better just because of the more humor. Sabrina needs to be more careful around bicyclists, she should have killed Charlie in the first story! Not to mention scuffing her fender.

Second story was realistic also good but sad.

Thanks for writing.

Any middle-aged man with any conscience will see himself in one of the male characters in either version of the story. I'm over 80 years old and go to the gym three days a week and my wife of over 60 years goes with me. Do we have a sex life? Of course we do, not like it was 20-30 years ago, but we do get it on and I still get the job done for her. That is all true! We are not the norm, but keeping in shape certainly makes a difference. Most of are gone and all of them were overweight, some rather grossly. Those that talked about their love life admitted that it ended around 50 years of age.

Sit on a bench in a shopping mall and people watch and you will quickly find that at least two thirds of the people are overweight and sad.

Great story, well told. 5*s

detroitdave

All eight agreed, one and done! The three wives still hang out with the cheater. I suppose that is because she got the other three husbands to get in shape. I will have to assume that they bought out the ex-husband's half of the house.

Maybe a culture gap? I simply did not see any plot developing that was worth trying to keep track of the inane names and obnoxious slang. I hope many others love it. Best wishes for great success.

A 4****. I think most guys starting in their late 30s let themselves go more than a bit. Drinking more than they should, burgers and fries too often for lunch, not exercising because they convince themselves they're too tired from their jobs to work out, et cetera. It happened to me and thank God my wife, who stayed in good shape (not a gym rat) even though she too put on and kept more weight after 3 kids, she still was looking physically in better shape than me by a lot. The story should resonate with a lot of readers.

I excused myself because my highly stressful job generally required 50 hour+ work weeks, often quite a bit more time than that. I also had to travel a great deal and could be gone for weeks, even months at a time. My wife remained faithful but all of those things led to much stress at home. I knew then that I should be getting more exercise but it took serious heart issues to do something positively. Truly, this story should be a wake up call for everyone reading it: take better care of yourself for the sake of your wife and children.

The only reason I didn't give it a 5 is that the entire story is mostly a monologue rather than a narrative that develops the characters. There are very few interactions between the characters and dialogue/conversations are almost non-existent. It seems more like a very detailed outline rather than a fully realized story, from an author who is capable of doing better. Thanks for the effort though and a timely message.

So does this bit of "Shallow Hal" apply to women, who are the ones most likely to let themselves go? If you look at men and women's weights with age you will see that men's weight tends to increase into middle age and then level off whereas women's weight keeps on increasing until just before death.

Sooo, which sex has the weight problem, eh?

I can only see one comment that acknowledges that the four husbands are Marx brothers but no mention anywhere that the four wives are Charlies Angels.

Great to see your comments on reader’s comments!

Thank you for this, too.

I am looking forward to reading your next stories.

Rosenkavalier thanks, I do like to interact where and when I can. INKENT

Good story. Not my usual fare, but I enjoyed it.