750 Cock Envy

A recent visit to a Porn A Dick Shun Clinic produced -- what I thought to be -- an unexpected diagnosis.

"You have major COCK Envy, " the doc said.

"I've read Freud."

"I didn't say Penis Envy; I said COCK Envy," the doc retorted.

"Same thing."

"Actually, it's not! You're not an anxious teenage girl discovering you don't have a penis. You're an anxious adult male with a small one in awe of large cocks."

I was flummoxed.

"How did you know my penis was so small?" I stuttered.

The doctor just laughed.

"I've analyzed your porn viewing choices. The results were overwhelmingly conclusive. You become a weak kneed edging submissive upon viewing the well endowed. You constantly search for large cocks online."

"Come on doc, a cock and a penis are the same thing."

"Actually, they are NOT. A COCK is for fucking, a dick is for sucking and a penis gets masturbated. Look at you; case in point. Men with puny penises beat with their two finger stroke to COCK Envy. Often waiting for the large dominating cock to cum before they dribble their worm."

"But I like women."

"Sure. But your Porn A Dick Shun is NOT about hot women. Sorry bud. You're addicted to huge, veiny cocks that shoot large loads of sperm with authority while dominating women while you submissively watch. Your eyes are actually fixated on cock. Hence, COCK Envy."

"I told you I'm straight."

"That is irrelevant. You adore cock and you need to overcome your Porn A Dick Shun. You do this by stopping the constant admiration from afar, i.e. electronically. It's time you take matters into your own hands. It's time to meet your COCK Envy face to face. Head to head.

"I've arranged for you to have six weeks of physical therapy. It's time to wrap your hands around your A Dick Shun. I've ordered you two large cocks for you to jerk off twice a week. The cherry red nail polish in your to go bag is optional use, of course. Additionally, each week peaks with a Friday facial immersion to wrap your head around--your mouth actually--around the mushroom head of your problem. You'll find a set of pink knee pads and a dental spider gag in your goodies bag. Hopefully, for you, the gag is optional. The massive dildo is for off day practice sessions between workouts. Any questions?"

Six Weeks Later

"I have good news and bad news," doc said. "I believe you have overcome your Porn A Dick Shun. Yay, right?! But the bad news was initially cloudy and now coming clear. You've become obsessed with male sperm after getting a taste of your new habit. But don't worry. I've signed you up with a four week prescription. It's imperative that you swallow three spoonfuls a day seven days a week for four weeks. You absolutely can't miss a dose. And with your recent triumph of overcoming COCK Envy, sucking each dose straight from the source will actually be a pleasant by-product. But it won't help grow your little penis; that's a myth. You'll need to visit the processing lab before and after work and on lunch Monday thru Saturday and Sunday mornings. Sunday pee em doses are only available at Tiny's Tavern, for some odd reason. You'll want to bring your knee pads. Oh, and some providers WILL insist you wear the spider gag."

Four Weeks Later

"I'm shooting hard up straight with you about your sperm obsession. The prescription wasn't strong enough and didn't work. You must succumb to the Coccyx Probe. It's the only outcome to rectum phi your addiction. With this clinical procedure you'll experience a deep penetration--by a massive cock, ironically--that deposits load after load of male sperm to penetrate the porous lining of your rectum. Sperm swim to your Coccyx. Your stomach lining is too thick; you need sperm swimming in your intestines to be cured. My experience tells me you'll need multiple applications. But, guess what?! You're in luck because I am authorized to perform this deeply complicated procedure myself. It's going to be so convenient for you to come here to receive your Coccyx Probe in complete privacy under the drive and determination of a highly qualified medical provider. How crazy that your COCK Envy has dropped you to your knees in front of my Big Wally. Step out of your panties. Wow, your dripping penis is even smaller! Bend over, I've got work to do!"