A Beauteous Flower Ch. 14

Chapter 14 - Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?

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Madison had always been pretty. As a child everyone had told her how pretty she was, but it wasn't until the eighth grade that she knew it for sure. She was a touch of a late bloomer, but when puberty finally hit, Madison blossomed like a magnificent orchid. After that her status as a pretty girl was evidenced by the amount of male attention Madison received and Madison, after an awkward adjustment phase, decided that male attention was one of her favorite things in the world. She enjoyed the way the boys flocked to her and got nervous around her. And she enjoyed the secret feelings she got when boys she liked came around. Armed with self-confidence in her looks, it didn't take long for Madison to become the most popular girl in her junior high school.

The next year she went to high school and joined the cheer squad. The number of guys around her grew exponentially, and Madison found herself included in the most exclusive social cliques of her high school. She never had to worry about dates to the dances, or invitations to the parties. She never had to pay for alcohol or drugs and if one guy bored her or didn't live up to her social standards, she simply got another guy. All this came because it was universally accepted that Madison was the prettiest girl in the school by the start of her sophomore year.

Madison always had a ride to or from school and never had to pay for her morning lattes from Starbucks. If a guy wanted Madison to ride to school in his car, her latte was the toll they paid. When she turned sixteen, her father bought her a car so she could rush into school just before the first bell and make a grand entrance. Even the teachers, especially the male teachers, went out of their way for Madison. High School life for Madison was mostly fun and enjoyable.

Unfortunately, along with the heady upside of high status and popularity came an unexpected downside. Madison had to quickly accept that, while it stunk, it came with the territory. Pretty Madison evoked a lot of reaction from both girls and boys. The girls were a constant source of social pressure. More than half of the girls were overtly catty around her, and most of the rest were, if not overt, at least covertly jealous.

On the other hand, the boys exerted a constant pressure of sexual energy. Every single one of them that approached her had the idea that somehow, he could have sex with Madison, and that was definitely not the case. Madison's list of possible recipients of her virginity was extremely exclusive, and even with that very short list available to her, Madison had kept her virtue intact until her senior year of high school, despite the persistent rumors to the contrary. Madison's status also brought a steady undercurrent of baseless rumors of her sexual promiscuity, usually spread by jealous female rivals, or jilted male suitors.

Everyone also proceeded under the assumption that Madison had a head full of feathers and couldn't appreciate anything except makeup, clothes, and parties. To those who didn't know her, Madison appeared to be a character from "Clueless" that somehow escaped the screen.

However, when it came to the downside of high status and popularity, all the other negatives paled in comparison to the weight of everyone's expectations. Because she was popular, everyone in the school, especially her friends, had a specific set of inflexible expectations of her, and everyone in Madison's life, from her parents to the people she never met that somehow knew her, shared those same inflexible expectations. The first and highest of those expectations was that she would date the right kind of boys, namely boys who played football. Football was king at Madison's high school and as a member of the cheer leading squad, Madison was expected to keep up appearances and date players from the football team. It was an open joke that a girl "earned" her varsity letter for Cheer when she took possession of her boyfriend's football fleece. As the prettiest girl in school, Madison was expected to date the best-looking guy in the school, and that was Miles the quarterback.

Madison and Miles had smiled at each other once or twice, but they were not yet an item. However, since this was their senior year and with prom in the not-too-distant future, everyone expected that to change, and as a result of being surrounded and immersed in that community expectation, Madison had expected it too. It was inevitable in her mind, just as the eventual loss of her virginity to Miles at an appropriate time, such as prom night. Madison found herself titillated by the prospect and constructed a little fantasy scenario in her head about it.

Despite the unexpected downside, life as the prettiest girl in school was pretty cool, but not every single part of Madison was satisfied with her life of privileged popularity and attendant expectations. Unbeknownst to the throngs of people that surrounded her, Madison was not the vapid Barbie Doll they all expected her to be, and despite the expectations of others, Madison was far from dumb. She enjoyed her studies in school and kept a high grade point average. She studied classical ballet and theater and read Shakespeare to feed her dream that some Romeo would come and sweep her off her feet and whisk her away from the daily crush of everyone else's expectations.

Truly what no one else knew was that inside the popular and privileged Madison there was a thoughtful, intelligent soul that yearned for expression. That part of her internally railed against the weight of the expectations and secretly bridled at the exclusive and cliquey nature of everyday life in High School. Sometimes Madison would witness some random act of thoughtlessness or cruelty in the hallways and that part of her would roil with indignation. Once or twice, she had almost spoken up on some victim's behalf, but the thought of the disapproval of her friends silenced her before she gave voice to her objections. In the end, Madison chose status over her twinges of conscience, and publicly, she followed the party line when it came to the weirdos, geeks, and nerds. Some people just didn't belong. Privately, however, she sometimes wondered if she wanted to belong. In secret, Madison the pretty cheerleader was a hopeless romantic.

For three years Madison held her peace and lived the double-edged life of privileged status and burdensome expectations. She cheered and danced and studied and partied and dated and generally lived the life that everyone in the world expected her high school experience would be like. She knew that because she kept tabs on social media and hers was the type of life every girl talked about. Even the ones that claimed to be geeky and nerdy ones mirrored the same expectations while they ranted against them, and that made it seem all the more normal.

Yet Madison still harbored a quiet little doubt that reared its head at random intervals and sought a means of expression. What that secret and silly romantic part of Madison wanted most was an opportunity to rebel and step outside everyone's expectations. And then finally, during her Senior year, just after her eighteenth birthday, Madison found her chance.

One day Madison came to school early and found a flier on the wall near her locker. It was written in flowery calligraphy on blue paper and Madison's heart got a little thrill when she read that the high school drama club would host open tryouts for all parts in their Spring production of Romeo and Juliet. Madison got a glow in her heart that became an uncontrollable urge to try out for the part of Juliet. The idea put a thousand-watt smile on her face, so much so that her friends all asked her if Miles had asked her out. Madison made a mistake and gleefully told them of her intentions. Their snooty disapproval of the prospect of her in close proximity with the "drama geeks" did not entirely surprise her, but it did offend her enough to strengthen her resolve to try out for the part of Juliet.

Despite her determination, her friends, the cheerleaders and other popular girls, would not relent in their efforts to dissuade her. It was a choice that defied their expectations, and her friends let her know that there were plenty of things that demanded her attention during her senior year, not the least of which was to get Miles to take her to the prom. After all, as the prettiest girl on the cheer squad, they expected her to go to the prom with Miles. Who else could be King and Queen of the prom?

Miles was the most eligible bachelor and the highest of the high value boys at Madison's high school. As the varsity quarterback. Miles was handsome and strong and tall and was heavily recruited to play college football for some huge college football powerhouse programs. The rumor mill had churned for weeks about how Miles intended to ask Madison to the prom and she was, quite frankly, intrigued by the prospect. The fact that her girlfriends were clandestinely jealous of Madison's good fortune only served to make Madison even more intrigued. If a High School girl in her senior year could have it all going her way, Madison had that life all the way to the top.

But despite that, the romantic part of Madison stubbornly yearned to step outside that little circle of football games, cheer practice and parties. So, finally after three years of dormancy, the romantic part of Madison won out and, over her friend's protests, she spent a few solitary afternoons in her room to study her lines and when tryouts arrived, she went and put her heart into it. She was surprised by how gleefully free it made her feel to go against all expectations and how much she enjoyed the nervous anxiety of on-stage performance.

In all honesty, Madison had not expected to get the part. Other girls had been with the drama club a lot longer and Madison fully expected seniority to carry the day. To the drama club girls, the part of Juliet was a treasured goal but to Madison it was a lark, and everyone was keenly aware that Madison had other aspects of her high school experience to fall back on. Yet the faculty advisor surprised everyone and to the chagrin of every girl on the cheer-squad and in the drama club, chose Madison for the part of Juliet. When she saw her name on the wall next to Juliet, she got a thrill that she always recalled as one of the highlights of her high school career. That thrill alone was worth the tepid congratulations of the cheerleaders and the catty looks from the drama club girls. For the first time in a long time at high school, Madison felt anticipation.

Then rehearsals started and Madison's enthusiasm dampened. The reception she received from the Drama Club girls was, at best, frosty. That made for some uncomfortable moments where for the first time in her High School career, she felt marginalized. Also, her co-star was not what she had hoped for. For the part of Romeo, the faculty advisor selected a boy named Todd, or as he was known in the cheerleader circle if they deigned to even notice him long enough to mention him, "The Toad." He was an object of distant ridicule, like a freak in a carnival side show that other people paid money to view. In teenage girl parlance, The Toad was a weirdo.

The Toad was tall and lanky with a shock of unruly blonde hair. His clothes, which were always black or brown or deep blue, fit him poorly and hung off him in wrinkled folds. His face, which intermittently peeked out from under his shaggy hair, was peppered with acne, with big, sad blue eyes that blinked slowly, a nose with a bump in the middle of it and an Adam's apple the size of a coconut that worked laboriously up and down when he swallowed. He reminded Madison of the Disney cartoon of Ichabod Crane.

The Toad didn't speak much, and when he did his voice was so low and quiet the listeners almost invariably had to ask him to repeat himself. He didn't play sports because he was awkward and uncoordinated, and he hung out with other people who did weird things and listened to weird music. Yet even those people must have found him intolerably strange because he was alone most of the time and when he was alone The Toad could be found with his eyes riveted to some dusty odd tome about science fiction or fantasy. It was also rumored that The Toad would be the valedictorian of their senior class, but no one really cared about that. He was just plain weird no matter how smart he might be. The final touch was when he sat down, his long limbs stuck out at odd angles and that is what led to the moniker of "The Toad".

He certainly was no high school girl's dream guy and that made the selection of The Toad as Romeo incomprehensible to Madison. Yet the decision had been made at the highest levels and if Madison wanted to be Juliet, then this was to be her Romeo and there was nothing to do but quit, as all the cheerleaders and drama club girls hoped she would do, or get on with it. So, she resolved to get on with it, but that didn't mean that Madison would sit next to him or even meet his gaze when they started the initial rehearsals.

Resigned to the imperfections of the situation, she threw herself into the part of Juliet with verve and interest and displayed a latent talent for acting that gratified the faculty advisor. It also further infuriated the drama club girls. After her initial successes, the frost from the drama club members solidified into icy disdain. They treated Madison like she was an interloper and excluded her from all parts of the production that did not specifically require her to speak lines. For the first time in her life, Madison felt the pain of exclusion and it didn't feel at all fair to her. After all, she had earned the part; hadn't she?

Yet when she complained her mother reminded Madison that she was the intruder on their turf, and that Madison wouldn't be thrilled if one of them suddenly turned up in her senior year and became captain of the cheer-squad. Madison was disappointed in her mother's assessment of the situation and put it down to the fact that her mother just didn't understand how unfair it all was. Ultimately, despite the undercurrent of unwelcome, she determined to go on with the show, put on her best stiff upper lip and soldiered on.

Because she was isolated most of the time, she began to notice things that she ordinarily would not have given a second thought. For example, Madison actually noticed The Toad. The Toad shambled into rehearsals on time and did his part admirably well and repeated his lines in a strong voice that boomed throughout the empty auditorium. Every so often he would glance up and meet her gaze and then quickly glance away with a small nod of acknowledgement. Of all the people in the Drama Club, only The Toad didn't seem to care that she was a Juliet-come-lately. Based on this, Madison benevolently decided maybe The Toad wasn't as bad as all that and condescended to view him as a kind of benign non-player character who strayed on and off the stage of her life and existed only during the after-school rehearsals.

Then, before the fifth rehearsal, her view of The Toad changed radically. That afternoon The Toad came to rehearsal a little earlier than usual and after a few moments he screwed up his courage, sidled up to her like a stray cat would approach someone on the street, and held out his hand. Pinched between two fingers was a big yellow dandelion plucked from the school lawn, which he offered to Madison. As he offered it to her, he shyly fixed his sad blue gaze on her eyes and mumbled one of Romeo's first lines the play.

"Here; This is not Romeo, he's some other where."

With that The Toad glanced away and took a big nervous swallow of his Adam's apple. His unexpected gift caught Madison off guard. Anywhere else in the school she probably wouldn't have noticed his approach and if she did, secure in her cheerleader uniform, she would have laughed him to scorn. But today, as The Toad nervously offered her a weed that he had plucked out of the grass, Madison remembered that of all the people in the drama club, only The Toad had simply accepted her as Juliet and treated her accordingly. His small gift made her heart flutter and she felt what she could only recognize as a small gratitude like she might feel toward the first person who recognized a new hair style.

Their fingers touched briefly as she took the offered dandelion and Madison had a tiny electric thrill in her hand that made her breath catch. Instead of derision, she accepted his token, and The Toad took another big gulp of nervous Adam's apple. Madison, unexpectedly flustered, only stared as he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't quite sure what it was, so she kept her mouth shut and at that The Toad turned and walked away. Still stunned into silence, she gratefully tucked the dandelion behind her ear and floated, just a touch giddy, though the rehearsal. For the first time since she got the part, Madison really felt like she was welcome as part of the production. It made her smile and her performance as Juliet benefited from her good mood.

After rehearsal, Madison, still bemused by the odd occurrence, walked to the parking lot to drive home. As she neared her car, she saw The Toad on the curb at the bus stop with his nose buried in an enormous tome of a book. In a busy parking lot full of busses, cars and people, The Toad was a million miles away and his face was enraptured. She found the look of intense concentration on his face strangely sweet. Her curiosity got the better of hers and before she had thought twice, she stood in front of him.

"Hi, Toad. I... I mean Todd," she heard herself say. For a hot minute Madison was a little embarrassed by that slip of the tongue. If she hadn't been so certain that he was thoroughly beneath her notice and that her attentions were a favor to him, then she might have just shrugged and walked on by him as if she had just casually belittled him. The Toad looked up in surprise and blinked. His Adam's apple worked up and down as his gaze focused on her for a second and then went shy and fell back to the ground.

"Hello," he murmured, cautious and quiet.

Madison sensed his uncertainty, and her faux pas caused her a pang of remorse. She decided she had better show him her intention was not mockery.

"Thank you for the flower," she chimed as brightly as she could muster and pointed to show it was still tucked behind her ear. Todd didn't really see because he busily sought a way to escape. With no immediately apparent route of retreat, he shrank into himself to wait out her attentions.

"You're welcome," he mumbled politely.

Madison could see The Toad, no she meant "Todd", will himself out of this awkward encounter. He fidgeted with the book in his hand as he tried to simultaneously mark his page and hide it from her. Something about his shy manner fascinated Madison. He looked oddly vulnerable, like a lost puppy, so she tried to engage him in a conversation to show her intentions were good.

"What are you reading?"

Todd's voice went barely above a guilty whisper as he held up the book briefly and then tucked it behind him like she had caught him with a dirty magazine and forced him to admit it.

"Umm..., 'A Game of Thrones'."

His manner was endearingly cute in a way that made her smile. Boys always primped and boasted around her as they tried to impress her. Todd's quiet, unassuming manner was a nice change of pace. Emboldened, she continued to reach out to him.

"Like the television show?"

Todd nodded and looked around like a cornered animal who wanted to get away. Madison decided she had better switch her approach if she was going to connect with Todd in any meaningful way.

"You're a really good actor, Todd."