A Believable Performance Pt. 02

"Yeah. These days, it feels like I say one nice thing about my mom and suddenly I'm a momma's boy," he said.

She chuckled. "I don't think so. It's good that you're close. What about your father? I noticed that you don't call him 'dad.'"

"I wouldn't say we're close. It feels like he's my boss most of the time." He winced. "There's always that distance between us. It doesn't help that he's not expressive or affectionate. I don't really know the guy."

"Oh. I was so sure you're best friends."

The disappointment in her voice hurt a little.

"He used to love reminding me that we're not friends, that he's my father first and all that."

She wrapped her arms around him tighter. "I'm sorry, love. It shouldn't have to be that way."

"Thing is, a part of me understands. He comes from a long line of blue-collar men and he's the first to break the cycle. He's built a better life for me than he had and he wants to leave me with a long-lasting inheritance when he checks out. I guess, in trying to accomplish all of that, he forgot to play catch with me."

Quiet fell over them. The rain pelted the window and thunder rumbled far away. Their dinner sizzled and Jess' music played on softly. Dinner was almost ready.

"I take it you're close with your parents," he said.

"Yeah," she said. "My mum was strict and my dad was a teddy bear but we got along well. They wanted me to do something more conventional like accounting so I had a stable income but I wanted to act. They supported me anyway and came to all my productions." She sighed. "I miss them."

He laid his hand over hers.

He took out the fries, put them into a strainer and sprinkled salt over them. The fish came out a golden brown and he let it air out. He brought the plates closer and dished up. Jess watched him over his shoulder. The finishing touch was a lemon slice on each plate. He looked over his work and felt relieved to have done a great job.

"Looks lovely," she said.

"I'm glad you think so."

She let him go to open her fridge. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I bought juice, unless you're a wine girl," he said.

"Wine isn't cheap enough," she said with a laugh. "Thank you."

He poured a glass of juice for both of them. She popped a scoop of mayo on her plate and he opted for barbecue sauce. She led him over to the couch and they sat down at last. They faced each other, West lounging back against the armrest and Jess kicking her slippers off and crossing her legs.

"This takes me back to when my parents would take me to this fish and chips place when I was younger. Their chips were always cut super thick and I'd be so full I'd pass out in the car." She sighed. "Those were the days."

"You say that like it was twenty years ago," he said with a laugh.

"It was fifteen. In any case, thank you for this, West."

"The pleasure is truly mine."

She flashed him a smile and took the first bite. Her fish crunched and steamed. Perfect. Jess sucked in air through her mouth as she chewed.

"It's still hot. But good, right?"

"Totally," she mumbled.

He dug in too and agreed with her assessment. The skin had a satisfying crunch, the fish was hot and seasoned well. They both squeezed their lemon slices over their fish and took another bite. West realised that the dinner he made wasn't complicated at all but it came out well. Jess was enjoying it and that was good enough for him.

"On Monday, you told me you'd had your eye on me before things happened," he said.

"That is true."

"Could you maybe support that with some evidence?"

She smiled as she narrowed her eyes. "You don't believe me?"

"I was surprised you said that because you never gave me any signs you were interested before."

"Okay, fair. I think I only noticed you this year. Not you as a person but the way you looked at me."

West's brows nearly hit the ceiling. Had he been that obvious?

"Relax," she laughed. "I don't mean to say you were lusting after me. Well, not quite. I suspected there was a crush but when I paid closer attention, it felt...different."

"How so?" His voice was smaller.

"There were days when I'd look at you and you'd look away. Not because you were shy. Other days, you seemed...disappointed. Like I was letting you down, somehow. I don't know if that makes sense."

He was so sure he'd been discreet about how he felt about her, up until that Friday. It turned out he couldn't keep the lid tight enough on those feelings. Not from her.

"I'm surprised you picked that up," he said. "I was disappointed sometimes. It wasn't because you let me down. It was because I knew, no matter how strongly I felt about you, we could never happen."

She smiled but he sensed she was melancholic.

"You know, part of my paying closer attention was also talking to you. I mean, we'd talked many times before but I was seeing you differently too. This young man had a way of making me laugh and sometimes he was mildly charming."

He laughed. "Mildly?"

"Yes, mildly." She grinned. "I thought he was handsome too and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought so."

He couldn't think of anyone else who thought so but he realized he wouldn't have known. He only had eyes for one woman. She was quite the charmer too.

"But more importantly, he was a good student and that made me feel like I was doing something right in my life."

"Jess..."

"Is that enough evidence for you?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "You could've given me a hint, you know?"

He put his empty plate next to hers on the coffee table. She considered his words. Then she stretched her legs out onto his lap and leaned back. He gave her a foot massage.

"I was scared. I've never been the type who can hook up with someone and forget about them. I didn't know what you wanted and if I assumed too much then I'd get hurt again. Then there was also the ethical dilemma of getting involved with a student. It was a lot."

"I understand. I was scared too. But it worked out in the end, right?"

"I think so, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting on my couch and rubbing my feet."

If he'd played it safe with Miss Bennett, he'd still be going to bed fantasizing about that very moment with her: on her couch, rubbing her feet.

The way she watched him made his heart beat harder. He pulled her foot against his hard-on. She bit the inside of her lip as she stroked his shaft. Her toes brushed his balls.

He caressed her leg. Her hand fell between her legs.

She fingered the strings of her pants and they fell aside. West throbbed against her foot. She slid her hand inside and touched herself. She moaned quietly. All the while, her eyes never left West's.

She slipped her hand out and pointed a finger at him, beckoning him. He grabbed her wrist and took her finger in his mouth. Her scent, her taste was his addiction. This was his fix. He dragged his teeth over her finger.

"I need more than a taste," he said.

They kissed, fiercely. Jess wrapped her arms around him and he hoisted her onto his lap. She grinded on his erection as it pressed between her legs. West ran his hands down her body, her legs, and clasped her ass. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and he shuddered. He was desperate for more. He peeled her hoodie off and threw it away.

She wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Christ," he muttered.

Jess bit her smirk. West kissed her again and fondled her breasts. Her ragged breathing made him throb between her legs. He kissed her under her chin and down her neck. She writhed on top of him and held the back of his head. Her fingers curled into his hair.

She sat up as he marked his way down her neck. He kissed the center of her chest and licked circles around her nipples. He glanced up at her: she exhaled through her mouth and met his eyes. She watched him anxiously as he teased her. When he finally sank his teeth into her, she threw her head back and moaned. West bit down harder and tugged. Her skin prickled. He sucked on her nipple as if her milk would spray into his mouth.

The thought could rip a hole in his pants.

When he pulled away, her skin was red and his underwear was wet. He gave her other breast the same attention. Jess stroked his head as he suckled her. Her breathing picked up and she squirmed on him.

"Don't stop," she muttered.

He murmured against her skin. She lowered her hand to touch herself. Feeling her body react gave him a rush that made the room an oven. Jess made small noises that escalated. West nibbled and sucked on her. He held her by her waist and brushed his bulge between her legs.

Her body steamed. She rubbed herself and cradled West's head against her chest. Her legs trembled. Then she made a sharp, muffled noise. She bit down a loud moan and leaned into his ear to release it softly.

She blew steam into his ear. He blew steam out of his mouth.

She pushed him back to kiss him. Her body twitched while they kissed; he felt the subtle shifts even when she bit his ear. She sent a warm chill up his spine.

There were new marks on her neck and her chest. His saliva made her nipples shine. Jess smirked as she took deep breaths. Her hands fell against West's pants. He kept his eyes on her. His pants came loose. She slithered off him, tugging them down along with his underwear.

It was getting harder to breathe.

She split his legs and got on her knees. She rubbed his thighs until she grasped his shaft in her hands. Clear fluid dribbled down as he throbbed in anticipation. She stuck her tongue out and cleaned the leak slowly. His heart punched his chest at the sight of that. She grinned before she put him in her mouth.

"You're a--"

West groaned. She sucked him off and fiddled with his balls, taking her time, driving him wild. Her lips smacked when she pulled away, thin strands of saliva snapping between his tip and her lips. She looked up at him while she stroked him. It felt so good to slide in and out of her fist.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

West took his hoodie off. He was sweating underneath. He kicked his shoes and pants away and knelt in front of her to strip her down. She put her hands on his shoulders as she kicked her shoes and pants away.

He stood and they kissed naked in the middle of her apartment. West had one hand on her back and the other on her ass as she kissed him down his neck. Her hand cupped his balls as she sucked on his skin. The double sensation was electric. She walked toward her bed and pulled him along by his penis like a leash.

They kissed again, deeper and rougher. Jess laid on her bed and West descended on her. It turned him on to see her lie down for him. She was letting him do whatever he wanted with her. He dotted kisses down her stomach, her navel and inside her thighs. She shoved his head between her legs and fell back with a shaky sigh.

He relished eating her out. He knew how she liked it and he was eager to please her. She wet his nose and his mouth. He twisted his fingers inside her and pressed his tongue against the folds over her clit. She writhed and he held her down. He swallowed her juices as he rubbed his tongue against her. Her taste, her scent, her breathing made him leak on her sheets. She was close. He was close.

"West."

He stopped and looked up at her.

She paused to breathe. Then she laid her hands on his face and leaned in.

"I want you to fuck me," she whispered.

There was an urgency in her voice and her eyes held him captive. He didn't answer her with words. He kissed her, letting her taste herself. He dragged his teeth over her tongue as he pulled away. She opened her legs and held his waist. He entered her slowly. A hot chill shot up his body and a low groan escaped his throat. Jess gasped and held his gaze. He lowered himself onto her and pressed deeper into her.

"You feel amazing," he said.

He held her side as he built up a rhythm in his hips. She closed her eyes as he thrusted into her.

"Look at me," he said, touching her cheek.

She blinked and nodded. She look him in the eye while he fucked her. Her face twisted in pleasure. His face twisted in pleasure. Their moans tangled together. Their skin slapped together.

Jess touched his hand on her cheek and nudged his thumb across her neck. He curled his lip as he choked her. He liked it more than he wanted to. She opened her mouth wider and gripped his wrist. Their breath became ragged. She wrapped her legs around him. He felt them shaking. He felt his own legs shaking. The heat inside him begged for more of her.

He wasn't breathing. Neither was she.

He poured into her with a guttural cry. She cried out and all her muscles clenched. West took his hand from her throat and sank his face into her shoulder. He moaned with her as he filled her. She cradled his head. Their bodies quivered. They held each other through that sweet release.

West picked his head up and grazed the back of his fingers over her cheek. Her skin was hot. She nestled his touch and he kissed her tenderly.

"If you don't stop, I'll fall in love with you," she said.

He kissed her lips again.

"West--"

A third time.

"Don't--"

A fourth time. They laughed and she embraced more kisses.

A single lamp lit up the apartment a dull orange. Rain struck the window and lightning flashed like a flickering light.

They curled up in bed together later in the evening. He'd changed the covers and while she was in the bathroom and joined her in the shower. They were spent but cozy. They cuddled in silence, staring at the storm.

Jess laid her head across his chest and pressed her ear to his heart. West draped his arms over her and tugged the blanket to cover her shoulder. He blew out a hushed sigh and gazed down at her. He wished he could do that every day.

"What's on your mind, love?" she asked.

"I'm thinking about what'll happen to us."

"How do you mean?"

"Have you made up your mind yet?"

"About what?"

"Jess."

She fell quiet. Her finger drew a star on his chest.

"I want to go home."

He fell quiet. His finger brushed her hair.

"But I don't want to leave," she said.

He felt an ache in his throat and tried to swallow it down. It didn't work. The school year was ending in a month. How long would he have to sit in suspense?

"I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you," she said.

"I know it's a difficult decision."

"If I stay, I'll be miserable and you'll only make my time less horrible. If I leave, I can't take you with me but I'll be home." She sighed. "I don't know what to do yet but I've still got time to decide."

"One day, you won't."

"Can we not talk about this please?"

"Okay," he said. "I just want you to--"

"West, please. Just be here with me."

He sighed and tightened his arms around her. She kissed him under his jaw and nestled into him.

Maybe that's all he needed to do: be present. Spending the day with her gave him a glimpse of what the rest of their days could be. He'd enjoy every passing second with her.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" he began.

She chuckled. "If I let you cum in me, I think you're allowed to ask me whatever you like."

"About your ex-husband..."

"Ugh."

"Was he good?"

"I thought he was but I started to see how manipulative he was. Him and his family. It was like everyone was constantly playing chess with human pieces. So no, he was quite awful actually."

West cleared his throat. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Did he please you when you had intercourse?"

She laughed and traced circles around his nipple. "Of course that's what you meant. Let's see, based on everything I've told you so far, what do you think?"

"Hmm. Probably not."

"Probably not."

He cracked a quiet smile. "Was he your first?"

"Hang on, I also want to know if your ex 'pleased you when you had intercourse.'"

It was his turn to laugh. Jess traced his jaw with her finger and smiled.

"She was nervous, I was nervous, the condom was too tight and she cried in the middle of it. She felt guilty about 'throwing away her virginity' so we just stopped. The end."

"The stuff of legends," she teased.

"Legends?" He shook his head at the memory. "How was your first?"

Jess shrank a little. "It was my ex-husband. And not because I was saving myself for him or whatever. I was just...unlucky. I suppose I still am."

There was a shift in her tone that darkened the mood.

"How come?" he asked.

"I wish this was simple. No hiding, no complications, just you and me falling in love."

He held her tighter, to tell her he had wanted the same thing.

She yawned and passed it onto him.

"Today was magical, West."

"The stuff of legends."

That was how their first night together ended.

Sunlight streamed inside for a warm morning. West blinked awake. He felt the space next to him but Jess wasn't there. Expecting her to be there made him realize how far they'd come so quickly. He knew people might've said he was rushing into things with an older woman. He raised his middle finger at them; he was happy.

He turned over and saw Jess by the stove, humming and swaying her hips. He liked watching her. Her pajamas were rumpled and her hair was a mess but she was comfortable. She was at home. He was too.

He crept out of bed and made his way to her. She kept humming a song from last night and didn't check over her shoulder. There were two plates laid out on the counter. Each had scrambled eggs, toast and (her calling card) slices of avocado. She was frying bacon. Maybe he should've stayed in bed.

She yelped when he wrapped his around her waist and he laughed.

"Morning," he said, pecking the side of her neck.

"Are you always going to sneak up on me like this?" she asked, rubbing his arms.

"I know you like surprises." He splayed his hand over her stomach and nuzzled her shoulder.

"I was going to surprise you with breakfast."

"You still can."

"You're distracting me."

"Then tell me to stop."

The bacon sizzled and she said nothing. He continued to kiss her neck. She curled her fingers in his hair and sighed. He bit her ear gently and his hand rode up her top to cup her breast.

"I'll always want you," he whispered in her ear. "Only you."

Her breath hitched. She craned her neck to the side so her lips were closer. West leaned in and kissed her. It was tender, slow. Like it was the last one.

"Always?" she asked.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"It's a big promise."

"I know."

The bacon chose that moment to burn. Jess turned her attention to the pan and took off the hot plate. She peeled the bacon over and groaned at the dark color.

"It doesn't look too bad, right?" she asked.

"Bacon is better with a crunch."

"You can have your crunchy bacon, love. I like mine soft and juicy."

"Soft and juicy?"

She chuckled. "Everything is a sex joke with you."

They salvaged their bacon. Jess picked out the least-burnt streaks and gave the rest to West. They crashed on the couch with their breakfast. Jess laid her legs out on West's lap and he used them as a table.

"Thank you," he said to her. "Not just for breakfast but for everything. For giving us a chance, for paying for that motel room, for letting me visit you, for being amazing."

"It's been a pleasure, love. None of this would've happened if you never took the first step and I'm glad you did. When we're together like this, I see how our future could be."

"Do we have one?"

"I hope so, West."

Hope?

They ate quietly. The air was sullen.

Be present, he told himself.

Jess was quick to stand to take their plates to the kitchen but West stopped her. He eased her onto his lap. She softened and cuddled him. He held her firmly.

He heard her breath shake. He felt her stomach tighten.

Then she cried.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay."

On Monday morning, the school had an assembly. The principal gave a long speech to motivate the seniors going into their finals, the last stretch of high school. After that, they're off to start building their lives.