A Beta Biography Ch. 01

Chapter 1 - 19 years old (College)

So this is a story of me realizing how I am a small dick beta male, and how I've always been one. I didn't realize this for a long time. I was a tri sport athlete in high-school, went to college on a scholarship until I got hurt. Then things began to come clear to me.

So first things first, my name is Don, Don Jr. To be more specific, since my dad is also Don. My dad was always your typical Midwestern tough guy kinda dad. He never said anything encouraging and whatever you did it was never good enough.

So after I hurt myself I had to move home and recover from the surgery. I was given a regimen to manage the pain. Stretches and an as needed pain med. Within a few weeks depression set in and I was given meds for that as well. My father was not understanding, nor did he believe in mental health. He thought I was being a big baby. Due to the friction at home during my recovery period and my general malaise I wasn't exactly a lot of fun to be around, and my emotional instability caused a lot of friction between me and my then girlfriend Chelsea.

Chelsea was 5'3" and very petit. She was an A cup and wore a size 2. All of her weight was pretty much in her booty. Not to say it was fat, but it was the only part of her that jiggled and bit when she was naked. She had long black hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was actually very supportive during my injury and recovery, the problem was more with me. All the issues that I had caused from when I was feeling great I overlooked, as I began to feel less good about myself they became obvious, and as an immature jerk I tended to make that her fault.

Sexually was the biggest difference. Chelsea loved sex. She rode and sucked me every day before my injury, it was heaven. She would get frustrated on top of me sometimes because she would get so wet and I would slip out, and she couldn't bounce on my dick she had to grind back and forth and use my skin as friction against her clit if she wanted to cum. I didn't think much of this at that time because in my mind I was the perfect male specimen.

I thought I was modestly hung or at least average, and I had been raised to think that going down on a girl was something that deserved a thank you. Not what you did just to be a good lover. After my injury I was given pain meds and at first I couldn't achieve an erection. Chelsea would ask me all the time to go down on her but I was being childish and upset and lashed out at the whole world. That meant her too.

So to clarify, in our 2 years together I went down on my loving, beautiful, and caring girlfriend few enough times to count on one hand. Meanwhile she was always giving me head, even when I wasn't getting hard and we both knew I wouldn't. I would pretend like I could and she would try for a very long time before finally giving up. She constantly tried to make me feel better about it, but I always just sniped at her and blamed her, which caused her mood to sadden and we would part ways with her holding back tears and me blaming her somehow.

Finally after 2 months I was able to get hard, but I couldn't cum, (likely due to the antidepressants) I also noticed - but didn't want to believe - that the size of my erection was diminished (more on that later). We tried to have sex but I was able to tell right away when we started that I wouldn't be able to cum and I was too selfish to care about my sexually frustrated and neglected girlfriend. I offered to go down on her once in that time, but it wasn't an earnest offer and she refused, picking up on my tone and not wanting me to do her any favors.

Another month came and went and we still hadn't had satisfying sex. I had lost all interest. The few times I was horny I couldn't cum and the shame of having a dick that didn't work made me aghast at the idea of just doing something for her. Well that and my general arrogance. At this point she had had enough, she told me that if I didn't start talking to someone and get my shit together she was going to leave me. We were still young. She was 18 and I was 19 and this was no way to live. She wanted to fuck her boyfriend, she didn't care if I ever threw a baseball again, she just wanted me to stop ruining myself and us.

She got very aggressive, even a little dominant with me, which slightly turned me on, but I couldn't tell you why. Then she mentioned if she couldn't get some emotional or physical relief soon she was likely to do something stupid. She let that hang in the air. I knew what she meant. I thought of my roommate whom I was planning on living with again this next year had always crushed on her. His name was Blake and he didn't hide his attraction for her. The images of them kissing and fucking flashed in my brain. And my dick jumped. I was hard. Harder than I've been in months.

I stood up and tried to assert sexual dominance with my new found erection. I pushed her (lightly) into the wall. And began kissing her aggressively. She moaned in excitement and kissed back. Our hands explored each other mine running through her hair and down her jawline before getting to her nice little ass and eventually pulling down her sweatpants. Hers went right to my shorts and boxers and they were down in a flash and my firm dick was in her hand.

I realized then too that my dick didn't even fill up her hand, it was the width of two of her fingers with a bit to spare and the length of her palm or middle finger. She didn't say anything but she did look down for a second before continuing the kiss. Neither of us knew then what got me hard but here I was. I slowly inserted my fingers into her wet slit and was gratified at her moistness, she moaned and I slowly worked my way in and out with my two fingers and then moved my middle up to her clit and began to rub using her own fluids as a barrier to prevent friction burns.

Then I picked her up and carried her to my bed. I heard commotion downstairs from my parents so I locked the door and pretended nothing was happening. After I got her on the bed I went to do my patented kiss and insert move but she pushed my shoulders back and shook her head.

"You owe me, get down there and make it count" she smiled to take the sting out of her words. The dominance though again made my dick jump. She didn't say anything if she noticed it, but I was beginning to put two and two together. I put a blanket down so my knees didn't get rug burn and I did the thing that weak men do. I ate her pussy.

Even though I know that's a backwards mentality to have about oral sex the notion was ingrained in my 19 year old brain and it was making it hotter. I had been "The Man" my entire life, captain of the baseball team, captain of the basketball team and quarterback for the football team. I was popular. Girls always flirted with me, I was invited to every party. The mere notion that I wasn't good at something or even that I wasn't physically perfect in every way never occurred to me. Yet here I was on my knees using my tongue to do what my dick couldn't. I was leaking precum already and this feeling of inferiority and my blanket was beginning to rub against me making it feel good. I started bucking my own hips as she moaned from my mouth.

I had never thought of myself as having a huge dick, probably large average. Though when I think about it I was probably lucky to call my size five inches. With these new meds or whatever though I had easily lost an inch. Similarly I never thought about how long it took me to cum. I was a teenager so I figured most guys were about the same as myself, probably not even as long as me.

Chelsea began to buck her hips into my face now and I upped my intensity. I used the tip of my tongue. I sucked hard when I needed air and used the rough part of my tongue intermittently. I was getting into this. My own hips were bucking against the blanket as more and more precum dripped out of me.

"Right there baby! Yes!" She grabbed the back of my head and pulled my hair while forcing me into her button clit. Her whole body tensed up and mine along with it. My dick bounced as she said she was cumming loudly. I bucked my hips once more and the blanket brushed it so gently, so smoothly that my own legs gave out. As she came on my face and let go, I collapsed on the floor and came on myself. Rope after rope of my own pent up cum hit my stomach, blanket, and bedroom carpet.

She sat up and looked nervously at my spasming body worried I had gone hypoxic or something only to laugh at me when I rolled over coated in my own cum and inferiority.

"Eating my perfect little pussy made you cum? Wow. I feel so powerful." She wasn't mad, she was enjoying this.

I just looked up at her, unable to speak. My post nut clarity was setting in and shame with it. What kind of a man cums from a blanket and eating pussy? Why was this self frustration turning me on again? These thoughts swam through my mind as she pulled me up to cuddle her in her own post orgasm bliss.

Chapter 2 end of summer and beginning of school.

As the summer drew on Chelsea and I tried to rekindle the physical aspects of our relationship, but she wasn't naturally a dominant type of person and I wasn't fully aware that that's what I needed. At least not openly. When she wasn't around I had gotten into watching femdom porn and that had even led to some sph and cuckolding. All of it got me fully hard, but still it didn't click.

Eventually one day I thought long and hard about measuring myself. I never had before, but as I was being directed to more and more small penis humiliation videos through the various algorithms I was becoming curious, so I grabbed a tape measure and dropped my boxers to my ankles. Before I could go through with it Chelsea walked into my house and called for me.

It was the last day of summer before her and I would have to drive back to school tomorrow and go through the various house agreements with my roommate Blake. Even though she wasn't on the lease and technically had a dorm we expected her to spend most nights with me and I wanted to make sure Blake was aware of that and that he was at least conscious of trying to avoid any awkward situations at night or in the shower etc.

She walked up the steps to my room and as she walked I grew nervous. I froze there an erection from the hour or so of sph femdom and a tape measure in my hands when the door began to open. I threw the tape measure away from me like it was on fire, it landed on the bed, and I quickly pulled up my boxers and was closing the laptop when she walked in and greeted me..

"Hey babe whatcha doing?" She asked. She was wearing a thin spaghetti strap tank top with a punk band logo on the front and very short yellow gym shorts that just barely covered her squishy ass. Her long legs had a bit of a tan to add to their enticing nature.

. "Measuring myself" I said in a panic, and then immediately my eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"Measuring what?... your... your thing?" She asked after fully assessing the situation. She held her hand up to her mouth and tried to hold back a giggle. She failed. I nodded apprehensively thinking the cat was out of the proverbial bag now. I worried this may lead to a discussion about us that I didn't want to have. "Why? You're plenty big down there. At least for me." She said and then quickly followed it with "Not that size matters or anything."

"No I know" I said confidently believing the old standard phrases for guys with small dicks or that can't fuck. "But I don't know I was curious, average is like 5.5 inches or whatever so how do I stack up? Just something I was bored and curious about." As I said this even I started to believe it. I had almost forgotten that I was in the middle of rubbing one out to a pornhub Goddess who had said some very mean things about men under 7 inches.

"5.5 inches is average? Huh, that seems small. Well I'm sure you're at least that big." She said without thinking"Not that I think you're small!" She quickly added. I had been losing wood from the chit chat and after that bit of light unintentional teasing I was back at full mast and ready to measure again.

"Well do you wanna help? Or make it like a bet?" I was trying to think of a way to make this fun for us. I knew I hadn't been a great boyfriend in any aspect lately but in the intimacy department I had been especially disappointing to her this summer only having achieved a handful of erections and mostly cumming within a few pumps, and refusing to eat her out in order to protect my own pride.

She smiled and laughed a bit at the absurdity of this and shook her head yes. "Sure why not. Let's get the tape measure." She grabbed the tape measure off the bed before getting down on her knees and pulling my boxers down to where my dick sprung out and bobbed itself up and down as if it too agreed with what we were doing. "Oh wow you're excited. I haven't seen this in a while." She said it lovingly but it stung. Of course that sting made my dick twitch, but she didn't notice since she was looking up at me to gauge my response. She kissed the head of my circumcised dick and pulled the tape measure to 6 inches.

"Okay so this is average and some change" she said before looking down. At that moment we realized I might not be above average as we had previously thought. "Hmm, it looks kinda big for 6 inches. Do you have another ruler or anything?" She asked. I shook my head no and she shrugged as she laid it against my pubic bone and measured to the tip. "Isn't there like a specific angle or something I should me Measuring from?"

"I think you're supposed to go from underneath it actually but it's fine we can do both ways. What's it say?" I asked afraid to look down and see her face. Still though I peaked. She looked surprised and disappointed at once.

"Umm well... it's not like size matters like I said earlier but you're a bit below average" She said.

"Well yeah I mean 6 inches is kinda big you even said, but why did you pull it out more? I'm barely more than half the tape measure." I said. She had hid the numbers with her hand so I couldn't see where I was or where the tape measure ended exactly.

"I don't know if I should tell you. It's not important." She stood up and closed the tape measure kissing me passionately on the mouth. Her hand moved down and cupped my dick and balls as she played with them. "Besides, I can think of a better use for your dick than on that cold aluminum tape measure." And she put her tongue back in my mouth.

I kissed her back matching her passion and biting her lower lip. I was gonna get that number from her but right now it seemed like a great opportunity to use my erection for something good. She pushed me back onto the bed showing a hint of dominance from before and quickly removed her shorts. She was wearing nothing underneath them so a bald beautiful pussy is what I saw as she walked toward and dropped it into my mouth.

"Eat it." She said, No argument allowed. Her domineering attitude was too much to resist and I began to lick and poke with my tongue as best I could. I felt her wetness beginning to drip down my lips and chin and slowly she repositioned herself and myself to where her little button was directly over my mouth as she humped my face.

"Yess. That's right, use your tongue. Just like that. Now suck it. Ahhh! Now nibble it a bit... gently. Aaahhh!" She moaned and lightly screamed, yelping even as an orgasm, one that had evaded her for several weeks now began to build. My dick was feeling drips of precum dribbling down from the head and I could feel Chelsea's own juices dripping onto my neck and chest.

Her hands raised up to the back of my head and she grabbed and pulled herself closer. Her cunt was nearly swallowing the lower third of my face as she rubbed her clit against the rough part of my tongue. When I needed air I just sucked in on her clit and nibbled a bit driving her wild and then let go and she went back to fucking my face. Finally she pulled on my hair so hard I thought it was going to come. She passionately screamed flooding the room as she came aggressively all over my face. It dripped down my own smooth face and onto my neck and chest. It tasted good. I was beginning to wonder why I hadn't been doing this the whole time..

She rolled over with beads of sweat dripping down her own A-cup chest. Her nipples were tiny but fully aroused and her stomach went up and down like she had just finished a distance run.

"That was amazing. I told you size didn't matter sweety." And she rolled over and kissed me deeply on the mouth using my tongue for something more wholesome after having just owned it for the last thirty minutes. She reached her hand down and felt the puddle of precum around my still fully stiff dick and smiled. "Someone else liked it too I see" and she began to use the precum as lube for a tender hand job.

She gripped firmly but without the hard pressing that I myself used sometimes and began to stroke me up and down. Her entire hand was able to engulf my dick from my vantage but I didn't want to distract her. She squeezed and tried to jerk but there wasn't enough room for her 4 fingers to do so at the same time. She didn't normally give me handjobs so this was a departure from her comfort zone.

"Use just the thumb and two fingers." I said to her as a helpful tip. In reality one of my jerk off videos told me that I HAD to jerk it like this, or use my hand like a girl does. I hadn't tried that yet, but the fact that my girlfriend with her tiny hands had to use the two fingers was even hotter than me being told to by a dominant big tittied goth girl online.

She smiled at me, kissed me deeply again and did as I suggested. I threw my head back in pleasure as she slowly two finger jerked me. Her kisses ran down to my chest before she found my own erect nipples and sucked and bit them. Then she popped off them and smiled warmly.

"You like this baby?" She asked

I nodded, afraid to open my eyes as the pleasure continued to build. I could feel a big release coming and it was making my legs weak and my spine contort.

"You still wanna know what the tape measure said?" She asked picking up the pace.

I groaned out a yes but at this point my focus was mostly on her magical dexterous fingers that were bringing me such pleasure.

"Are you sure? You're not gonna get upset if I tell you?" She was playing now, knowing that she had me completely at her mercy. If she stopped jerking right now I would probably cry like a baby so I nodded once again confirming that I would be a good boy no matter what she said.

Then she stopped jerking for a second making sure she had my full attention. I opened my eyes and convulsed a bit. I tried humping the air but she moved her hand down to my balls which had nearly risen into my body. They were never my biggest feature to begin with, only about the size of marbles and as I was about to cum they usually raised so much that it was a smooth little undercarriage for my dick.

She rubbed it like she would a girl's vulva and said seductively that I was 10 centimeters. Then moved her hand up and gave me two more strokes and kissed me again before saying. "That's under 4 inches" she pulled her hand away and I humped the air. She rubbed the bottom of my bellend with her index finger for a second and kissed me again.

I grew stiff and felt my orgasm coming up from my balls. I tried to grab onto something and to moan at the same time, but her other hand stopped mine from grabbing her and her tongue in my mouth prevented me from making much of a noise except for into her mouth. Jet after jet of cum spilled out of my dick. I was coated in it within a few moments

"You liked that?" She said curiously.

"Yes baby, that was great." I said unsure of how to proceed. The post nut clarity was again setting in. this time though i had no problem with having gone down on her, i liked it even. What I was concerned about was if we would be playing up this small dick thing a little more or if this was a one off. And I didn't know how to ask her if we could keep it as part of our routine.