A Blonde Moment

Naomi had asked when you asked dad to get fixed because you didn't want any more children why you didn't tell him the truth?

Annie said "look this pregnancy was an accident. I did tell the truth."

"No!" Naomi responded, "you lied. The real truth was from him otherwise you would have got your tubes tied."

Annie had been stunned with that revelation. There was no way she could argue that point. The child she was carrying proved that. What she had seen as a little problem was now a blown up mess. It was becoming apparent to more and more than what she had done appeared to be deliberate. Yet it never had been planned. She'd fallen in love with Robert and had been chasing him. When he had stopped running that's when the affair began.

Annie was beginning to understand that what she believed and did could never be fully explained. It was her conduct and the way she was handling it that was raising the questions.

-----------

I had spent the weekend cleaning, doing the laundry and the grocery shopping. Making sure that my kids went with me. It was time for them to begin to understand the costs relating to living. Annie's mother came over for supper Saturday night. She had a great visit with her grandkids. Each one of them wanted to have a private conversation with her. As a result, she has stayed longer than she planned.

"Dilynn your kids are hurting big time." Annie's mom said. "And there is no explanation available to make the hurt stop. Each of them is worried about you as well."

"I know I told them that their mother still loves them," I replied. "Right now, they are having a hard time believing it."

"This was not done out of love." Annie's mom said. "It was done because my daughter believed she could have her cake and eat it too. She did not give a dam about anyone but herself."

"You may be right Mom," I said. "But I will never tell my kids that."

Jasmine peeked into my office and said I'm going to be late getting back from lunch. I just nodded my head in approval.

It's hard being a single parent, I know I was learning just how much, fast. So, on Wednesday I took my two daughters and son out to the favorite restaurant. I should have known it would remind them of their mother. I won't make that mistake again.

Friday afternoon I emailed Annie asking if it was okay if I took the kids out of the city for the weekend. She responded yes. I printed a copy of it in case I needed it.

In Sunday's paper in the religious section, there was always a large feature dealing with the changes in morality in our society. It seems Jasmine had the text of Annie's letter printed without any of our names. The article looked at it from all sides in detail. The writer of it was quite fair and drew no conclusion on it all but made a final thought that said it all.

'The wife and mother in this situation, has not given any consideration to her husband or children. It appears to me that she felt they were not good enough. I feel sorry for the husband who must be nothing but a wimp to her because the way she wrote the letter makes it clear she is treating him the same way she would a misbehaving child.'

Monday morning at the local Blue Cross billing center when all the staff opened their email was the letter that Annie wrote revealing all our full names. Added was a note saying a divorce had been started and disclosing the court case number.

Annie came into her office to discover the article exposed and laying on her office desk. Jasmine was informed through the grapevine that when Annie read the article, she lost it.

When the kids and I were having supper Wednesday evening I learned that they had been interviewed by child services who wanted to know who they were living with and other information.

Naomie said, "I was so angry I told the lady everything."

Friday Grant was in court. Annie's lawyer was pushing for marital counseling. Grant produced a copy of the newspaper article for judge Donald McDonalds review.

"In reviewing the letter written by Annie Jones to her husband Dilynn Jones it's obvious that this is an attempt by the defendant to try to manipulate the plaintive into something that he never signed on for." Judge McDonald stressed. "Marriage in this state is still between two people no more. Just because she wants to push the legal standards, I will not allow this court to be used for it. I'm not going to allow anyone to be pressed into something that goes against the very moral and principles they stand on. Therefore, the request for court-ordered marital counseling is denied."

Sunday afternoon I received a phone call that Annie was in emergency with excessive virginal bleeding. I informed Naomi what was going on and rushed down. While I was filling out the medical forms my mother in law walked over to me.

"Dilynn she was never pregnant. The test was a false positive because she has a severe sexually transmitted disease." My mother in law said. "You best get yourself checked out"

I guess my mother in law saw the smile on my face. She started to laugh so did I. We both got a dirty look from a couple of the female staff who were aware of her condition. We were informed that because of the severity of her problem she would be in the hospital for at least a few days.

"My god how could I raise such a stupid daughter." Mom said. "With what she put us all through these last few weeks I've got no pity for her at all. Believe me, I am going to rub her nose in it for weeks."

"Let her know I will bring the children to see her tomorrow after school," I said.

"Are you going to see her?" She asked.

"No, I can't and won't until I can find a way to forgive her," I replied.

My mother in law nodded her head and held my hand knowing it's easy to forgive but not to forget.

I went home and had a long conversation no father is ever prepared to have. How do you explain to children from ten to sixteen about a sexually transmitted disease? I don't know how but I got through it.

I told Jasmine first thing in the morning who broke out in laughter and said, "There is justice." She sent out an email and fifteen minutes later at the Blue Cross Billing Center, everybody knew. Robert Johnson was now reduced to the company laughingstock.

The two younger children went into their mother's room at the hospital. Naomi escorted them in. They spent about twenty minutes before they came out. Naomi and her mother were together for about an hour before she came out.

I took the kids out for supper to a place we had never been to. A Chinese buffet where it all you can eat. All of us overate. It was after the two younger ones had gone to bed. Then Naomi said we had to talk.

My eldest was in complete shock when I got out two wine glasses and I poured four fingers of red wine in each handing one to her.

I said "You've had to grow up fast these last three weeks. I'm very proud of well you handled it."

"How do you do it?" she asked. "Mom has put us through hell and back in such a short time. When she asked about you, I told her that you were the calmest of them all."

"We as humans all make mistakes no one is perfect," I said. "Life has a way of balancing things out. Your mother made life choices that affected us all. I had to put the needs of my children first so I couldn't show the hurt and anger I had buried inside."

"Moms dealing with a lot of guilt, she has finally admitted that she was more likely caught up in the moment than actually in love," Naomi said. "She said she wished she was a blonde because then she could justify it by saying it was a blonde moment."

"Remember understanding quite often comes after the fact," I said. "Your mother is proving that."

"Any chance you'll forgive her?" she asked.

"True forgiveness has to be earned." I said. "and that requires time."

"She's going to go into counseling to figure out for herself where she went wrong." My daughter said.

It was nice to share a glass of wine that day and throughout our life, we would share private moments like this.

Grant called me on Thursday saying Annie's lawyer wanted a delay on the divorce proceeding because of personal reasons. I told that I would agree for four months.

For the next three months, life settled down. Annie and I communicated through email. I gave her free access to the kids. Finally, when she was ready, she called me. At the time I was with Jasmine reviewing something we were working on. I answered the phone and threw the speaker button on.

"Hi, Annie." What do you want?" I asked.

"Can we start over? Or is it divorce." She asked softly.

"To early to tell," I replied. "Would you like to go out for supper and a movie Saturday night if Naomie will babysit?"

Both Jasmine and I could hear the emotion in her voice when she said yes.

"Robert has left the company." Jasmine said. "it seems he lost all credibility as a boss or a man. Annie was promoted into his spot. During the announcement she admitted her mistake and took full blame for it. Then said if you screw up inform me, we can work it out because you are honest enough, to be honest about it."

Jasmine saw the smile on my face.

That Saturday Annie and I started rebuilding our relationship within three months we were doing family things again. Four months later in front of family and friends, we renewed our vows.

As my daughter summed it up in her toast that day. Forgiveness is easy but proving you deserve it takes a hell of a lot of work. Congratulation's Mom you made it.