All Comments on 'A Captured Heart'

But you REALLY need an editor!!! The grammar errors are everywhere, and you frequently leave out words. (An easy thing to do when it's your own writing, but an editor would catch it for you.) Also, "succubus" is singular, "succubi" is plural, "succubus's" is possessive.

I hope you continue writing, but you'd have a much more positive reader response with an editor.

keep it going, but get an editor please......

I will take the advice. I just had somebody else tell me the same thing. they said I was good and enjoyed the story, but I need an editor. Oh and they liked the characters.

I will take the advice. I just had somebody else tell me the same thing. they said I was good and enjoyed the story, but I need an editor. Oh and they liked the characters. I actually thought nobody would like this story.

As far as not liking the story, its got my vote, for what its worth

i like the basis of the story, but like the other commenters i do suggest getting an editor or find a friend to have a proofread to help you catch some small typing errors.

if you are relying on a spell checker it can still think a word is written correctly and won't give you a warning, when in fact it's approving a wrong word in a particular sentence.

i know it might be hard finding an editor, specially one you feel comfortable working with.

as for the story, i like how she acts a bit like a little spoiled brat thinking her queen status will get her anything. i'm sure she'll explode first when she realizes what chris is telling her about her brother is actually true... fireworks.

i'm guessing he traded his sister and sold his sister's lover. a real charmer already, that one.

You need an editor.