Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here"I heard. So can I have the information or..." I started to say.
"Maybe but, you may want to come and get it. I have some pretty interesting stuff out here that I think you're gonna want to see." Roxanne replied, stopping my guessing game. With that said, she disappeared knowing my interest was peaked.
- COMMENTS
T_Weezyover 8 years agoPiqued. His interest was piqued, not peaked. I'm really loving the story, but people using "peaked" when they mean "piqued" is a pet peeve of mine.
Holy shit though, love the story so far! Really looking forward to the rest!
pervdoodover 8 years agoHOWEVER, the spelling, tense, grammar and syntax are terrible.
PLEASE!!! make use of the free editting service available from Literotica.
srgeekabout 10 years agoclamored
clamor
noun
1.a loud uproar, as from a crowd of people: the clamor of the crowd at the gates.
2.a vehement expression of desire or dissatisfaction: the clamor of the proponents of the law.
3.popular outcry: The senators could not ignore the clamor against higher taxation.
4.any loud and continued noise: the clamor of traffic; the clamor of birds and animals in the zoo.
verb (used without object)
5.to make a clamor; raise an outcry.
In other words, you gathered a crowd, had them make a loud noise into your car and then drove off. Did you thank them or just leave them standing?
=================
site
noun
1.the position or location of a town, building, etc., especially as to its environment: the site of our summer cabin.
2.the area or exact plot of ground on which anything is, has been, or is to be located: the site of ancient Troy.
3.Computers. website.
verb (used with object), sited, siting.
4.to place in or provide with a site; locate.
5.to put in position for operation, as artillery: to site a cannon.
So, you plunked your eyes down on a restaurant. I bet that hurt.
Two other words that sound the same as site but aren't the same are (sight and cite)
So, are these misuses due to a drunken alcoholic PI, or to a writer using words he/she doesn't know the meaning of. <GRIN>
srgeekover 14 years agoI like your story so far, you do have a few technical issues that if fixed would make reading it more pleasant.
<P>
"clamored" is more about making noise than climbing into a car, but maybe you meant "clambered". If "clambered" is used in a story it is more than enough.
<P>
Maybe you accidentally doubled the "e" when you typed "Thee"
<P>
I think you meant "chair" instead of "hair" in the next phrase 'eased into the high backed hair.'
<P>
In this phrase "on" should be "in" 'out of the spell induced on me.'
<P>
<I>-- srgeek --</I>
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoFantastic story. I enjoyed reading this story & I am glad to see you didn't let what those 2 airheads below had to say deter you from continuing this story. I am now going to read the second part.
Anonymousalmost 15 years agowhat the fuck this story was boring and in the wrong area it should have been in the novels area no taboo and no real incest if you ever get around to finishing put it in the proper area and move this chapter
Stanz12almost 15 years agoWell its true this is a site that is used for the purpose of telling stories. It is also true that most writers submit their stories with as much care and attention to grammar and structure as they can. That is part of the craft. The REALLY sad part is that there are a great number of readers who expect and demand absolute perfection.
I applaud your writing and beg you to ignore the strident voices. Good job and please continue the story!
Andrew
oldwaynealmost 15 years agoI thought it was a great introductory chapter and look forward to reading the rest of the story. Thanks for your work and ignore the "black kettles" and so forth. Some of the best authors on this site couldn't give a rat's ass about minor errors.
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoThere may be something to what you are trying to say, but your comment is the perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black.
