All Comments on 'A Change in Gravity'

Next time dont wait til page three to inform the readers both your MC are lying peice of shit cheaters

Enjoyable story!

5

Damn, I also somehow fell for a similar trick in a brothel. The whore charged me $500 an hour and sent me to the shower with instructions to wash as thoroughly as possible. I did as she said. When I came out, she lifted my hand and sniffed my armpit. Stating that I still smell of sweat (but I was washing there, believe me), she sent me back to the shower, demanding that I not save water and soap. After I got out of the shower for the second time, the girl began to dance a striptease slowly undressing. And then there was a knock on the door and a huge security guard told me that my time was over and I either had to pay for another hour or get out. I looked at her, but she just shrugged and said, "Sorry, honey. These are the rules." That's how I took a shower twice for five hundred bucks and didn't even touch that insidious bitch.

That was depressing. And very unerotic. If i wanted real life and be depressed I would watch the news.

Aptly named piece. But, I'm not a fan of this writing style.

.

I feel disoriented, after being jerked from place to place every few seconds, never getting a chance to "settle-into" what is happening before suddenly finding myself somewhere else. Changing locations or POV is fine, but was it really necessary to switch so often?

This was similar to TV ads that are so common these days, flitting from image-to-image every second, and never giving the viewer time to focus in on what's in the picture before it changes.

I find that irritating as hell!

.

But, you might ask, "How did I like the story, itself?"

Short answer .... "I don't know. I seem to have had trouble following it."

Thanks for sharing...

Bravo! This is (in my humble opinion) one of the best story's in the LW category this year, 5*

Looking forward to your next posting.Thanks again.

Good grief, that was hard work.

quit after the 1st page - too much jumping around

Damn, I hate this type of story so macho and misogynistic.

It's always the guy's fault:

- if his father ran away, it's the guy's fault.

- if his mother has an incurable disease, it's the guy's fault.

- if she didn't get pregnant with her first husband, it's the guy's fault.

- if she couldn't go to college, it's the guy's fault.

- if she has no diploma or skills, it's the guy's fault.

- if she has to take care of her mother, it's the guy's fault.

- if she chose to be a whore, it's the guy's fault.

Ah! A question ? Does she really have to earn more than 200,000 dollars a year to house, clothe and feed her mother? For an incurable disease on top of that? Totally stupid!

Finally an almost intelligent guy.

he trades the slut for the whore.

But it is absolutely necessary that she continues to work. She brings in a lot of money and she helps men by spreading her legs.

How do I feel about this story? It broke my heart and left me in tears. Beautifully conceived and composed. *****

I feel like a "fagcuckshit" army would bomb this one, but just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this one

Excellent, more a romance I think

That was a damn good story. Bravo.

A beautiful tale, your story rises from ashes and settles in at home. Bravo!

Thanks for writing!

Complex drivel

I have no idea what possessed you to include a graphic scene at the brothel. I am entirely supportive of sex workers in my real life but here it seems extremely out of place and distracting. Even without the following events the graphic detail felt dirty. It most certainly wasn't erotic. Honestly, for anyone reading this story, skip it. It's an entirely unnecessary section. Piper is a ranch bunny, forced into those circumstances by pain and loss. This entire story is about pain and loss yet you include that? It's a bizarre decision. Your editor should have begged you to pull it. I would have.

Way too convoluted and jumpy. I'm not going to work to understand a story. Not entertaining.

When Piper drove up to the house and saw another shadow behind her mother - I already thought that it was Mitch who decided to please the old lady and fucked her one last time...

I totally didn't understand what led to the sex between Mitch and Lulu in the brothel suite? They had only met once before for five minutes, and he clearly hadn't come there to sleep with anyone. And suddenly, she takes him to the room and he starts tearing off her clothes... It's kind of weird. Is it just that the author felt that there were few sex scenes in his story?

All this surreal-like storytelling is making me drowsy.

Sorry writer RobertaBob but I honest had to stop reading midway page 3

because I sense a cuck vibe. I jumped to the last page and...

it is a cuck story.

/

But the writing was quite good but the style made me sleepy.

I admit you are quite a talent in writing RobertaBob...

but I do hate cuck stories

Hooking up (did Mitch and Piper got married?) with a (ex) prostitute is not a good idea.

Too many penises on that vagina one can't just erase all and make it virgin again.

Turning into a harlot because of poverty is not an excuse.

Many of my country men and women are dirt poor and goes abroad (yes some illegally to the USA) to find work -- any work (caregiver, dishwasher, janitor, hotel bellboy) but they never turned up as prostitutes and their families back home have nice houses and kids gets to good schools. They never have to be prostitutes.

How interesting... Prostitutes are, as it turns out, to be "applied sex therapists with a psychological bias"? A wonderful self-justification for an ordinary whore...

,,,what name do you write under professionally? I'm thinking you could do pretty well.

What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing your insights. Merry Christmas🎄

A few errors scattered about…easily fixed. Quite an onion! Layer after layer peeled away to reveal a wonderful center. Lots of fair bread crumbs scattered about to lead the reader on…engaging without being too confusing. The story was unusual, though the cheating spouse played a very insignificant role. I’ve come to have high expectations for this author, so I really enjoyed the emotional rollercoaster. I eagerly await the next story. Thanks.

245 thousand a year after taxes - 400 bucks per session... Yes, the mileage is impressive... And how many years has she worked? 5-6 years in a row? No, don't. Run, Mitchell, run!

This was really good

Pretty damn good!

It's not a loving wives story, but it is an excellent touching romance.

"I want my mommy," she cried.

For that line alone and the image it provoked 5*

This should have been in the Romance section

Simply marvelous story.

I've enjoyed all of your stories on this site. You have a outstanding viewpoint. My favourite is " The Yips". My hips have lasted for the past 10 years. Keep on truckin.

A very compelling story that illustrates how any choice we make can have life lasting consequences...

The added bonus that you are a very good story teller is what makes you a top tier author.

5🌟s

Fred

Wonderful writing.

And a pretty good plot.

Except for one thing.

The Mitch/Mark incident.

What a strange mistake in an otherwise fine plot.

Not only was it not explained,

but made out to be a small thing.

It's never a small thing for a lover to hear.

Male or female.

4 out of 5 from me.

A disjointed and sad story, in the wrong category. It has potential, but needs a lot of work to be a good story.

Superb. No other word for it.

5* I'm not sure why Mitch had to have sex with Lulu but otherwise this is a superb story. The way you chop and change the focus is clearly signposted and it allows you to build the whole tale logically, filling in the gaps as it moves back and forth. The dialogue is clear and you tell me what they are thinking too. You'll gather that I really like this, thank you for posting it.

This is truly beautifully done. I would have liked a hint of what the something completely different ended up being, beyond having a child, since one presumes that if Piper was still saving up for a horse she wouldn't yet have tons of money in the bank, unless she was wanting a racehorse, but I can understand the choice the author made. This is wonderfully and carefully written (thanks for "anhydrous" which is new to me) and I absolutely love the ghost return at the end with its multiple implications. It's rare and marvelous to read a piece that rises beyond story to a literary work, and this is one.

Liked it a lot -- nice story point that only humans can do so much stupid stuff to themselves and create a miserable life out of simple good thing they both had. But there is redemption, which is good in this case. I would love a story about the farm hand, what she taught him, and how it worked. Would be a great series -- the whore with a heard of gold kinda thing.

Good story, but a little confusing. I recall reading about two children getting sno-cones with Piper, but they were never mentioned again.

Excellent. As a native of Nevada...rural Nevada....I loved this.

I really appreciate your writing. Keep it up. Thank you.

Superb.

Excellent.

Wonderful, if heartbreaking, story! Thanks.

Beautiful

Not a fan of the disjointed technique. The risk in that type of writing is that by the time you connect everything, the reader has lost interest for lack of substance. That was the case, for me, here. Might have been a great story, I don’t know, as I was done midway through the 3rd page. Up to that point it was dry and unengaging.

Loved this story, nicely built up over the switching back and forth but worth it in the end. 5*

Well written, and I like the style (semi-stream). The story earns a 5 stars from me. Now, I have to finish reading all your stories to determine if this is your best. This one certainly hit me on an emotional level. TY

Superb writing and a very entertaining story

exceptional 5

Just couldn't get into it.

This story is next level.

So well constructed, with perfect pace and execution.

SDN1955, the two kids are explained. Read it again of you must. Just so you know.

RobertaBob, thank you. While there was no mystery as to how it was going to play out, the pleasure was in the telling of the tale. A very well constructed account of flawed characters, finding a path ahead.

No paint-by-numbers here.

Human

Good writing as always. Reminded me of the time I found my ex working at a strip club

Great story and touching, of two people who should have been together, end up apart and life batters them, forcing them both into lives and being ppl that they aren't. It is sweet they find each other, very touching. The only thing I would have liked to see was how they make out,because you come to really like them.

Very well done.

I agree with Jezzaz, superb!

RobertaBob, you need to see a shrink.

Best I’ve read here in quite some time

Why not put it in Romance, it would have been perfect? Just because a story includes people who are married, or have been, does not make it a Loving Wives story. And there is at least one glaring plot fault: The police come in and find a guy with a gun knocked unconscious, and another guy who has been shot and bleeding profusely, and they somehow know who did what to whom and taze the victim who has been shot? And then he gets prosecuted for defending himself against the shooter? This happened in a big city, right? Guns bad, self defense with a gun bad, hitting a gunman with a stick good. Breaking the door down to save his wife plausible. There was no trial, no testimony from his whore wife, he just never saw her again, no paperwork? How does he even know for sure that he's really divorced?

But all that's allowable in a good Romance story. Even if the Pi Beta Kappa's turned into complete dumb shits when confronted with real life. Yeah, it was a good Romance story. Thanks for the effort.

Pretty entertaining story with the tragic lives of the MC's nicely set up. Realistic? It could happen that way but it doesn't seem likely, especially the happy resolution at the end. But it is Literotica and the main thing is to tell an interesting tale well. Your writing skills are exceptional but a little more care is needed in properly motivating the actions of all the characters. In this story Lulu's sex romp needed just a bit of explanation. A madam isn't likely to gaga over some customer she has seen twice for maybe 5 minutes tops. Still 4/5 stars.

Well written story about some pretty fucked up dipshits.

This was good writing as usual but I just didn't like them.

How'd she have a baby?

I liked your ability to create a picture of their relationship but to bring it along slowly. It added a depth of mystery to the story and made you really care for two very troubled individuals. Well thought out story.

An extraordinarily well written tale with a real plot and a believable characters. even without the erotic scenes, it was a good read. If anything the erotic scenes distracted a little from the quality of the effort. None the less, they did serve a purpose.

Well done

Gotta love a love story!

Well done. The past/present segues were a bit weird at first but then caught a nice rhythm.. life can throw you some mean curveballs. Glad these two survived.

I loved it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Captcha

Well done. Worth 5*

Really should be in the Romance section.

Got the characters just the right amount of broken for the story to work.

Well told story with a happy ending, what's not to like?

Thank you for writing

I really enjoyed it. It’s different from the normal fare around here. I wish the ending could have been slightly more expansive.

~Spiny

I might have missed it. How did Mitch come to be in a whore house fifty miles west of Vegas. One that charges 400 bucks an hour when he only got 400 when they let him out.

Well written story that I enjoyed reading very much.

"You know them?"

The older nodded. "Went to school with both of them."

"Oh." The younger paused, thinking. "I know having a baby is exhausting, but even so.... Those two seem like they've been through a lot."

The older nurse smiled. "You have no idea." Then she repeated, mostly to herself:

"You have no idea."

Now that's the way a true craftsman ends a story! Exceptional! 5 stars.

@SilentSound.

Read it again. It wasn't her with the fertility problem.

Wish I could give a shit about the characters. At first I was open to liking them both, but as the story progressed their actions had me wondering if they had any redeeming qualities. They didn't.

Yeah, life can beat you up.

Sex work, prostitution is not therapy. It is dehumanizing and debaseing and ruins the humanity of both the worker and the client. Incredibly written story, but pathetic job choice. For a "smart' girl, she sure is stupid.

What Jezzaz said. He comments as well as he writes.

This is true romance. Such a sad, long journey for two souls that were meant to be. Commenters miss the point of Piper's "sex therapy" comments. It was her rationalization for being a high priced hooker. It was how she convinced herself to perform as a sex worker for several years after her failed, loveless marriage to an alcoholic, religious nutjob, who was himself sterile. She had no career, no resume, a degree at a local community college due to a cheap father, who deserted thr family, and with mounting bills and a mother withba slow, agonizing neurodegenerative disease, she became a sex workerz getting paid really well, and supporting her mother and her medical.bills, while dreaming of buying a horse.she convinced herself that she was helping her clients so she could look at herself in a mirror, but that all went up in smoke when Mitch saw her. In parallel, Mitch spent five years in prison for financial crimes to illegally fund unicorn biotechnology companies, after having been in a sham marriage to Addison, who met in college. It was sad that Piper took her accidental outburst of "Mark", some prior boyfriend, during her heated swx romp with Mitch that last time, to be the reason why he broke up with her. All that guilt surely influenced her to end up with psycho, possessive Neal, and combined with her father's abandonment, and her mother's illness, her embarking on being a hooked for several years with a lot of mileage. But now realizing Mitch knew, she felt cheap and dirty. Why? Her illusion was shattered and she still loved Mitch despite his leaving her. Mitch clearly was selfish to even think of keeping both while at school. He decided that Addison was better suited to his future and lied to Piper to get her to move on, realizing he couldn't keep stringing her along and she needed to not wait for him. He lied to her about not loving her anymore but did it from what he thought was noble reasons (though in reality selfish ones) without really talking to Piper. He still loved her but thought she woukd be better off without him in her life. Of course he chose poorly. I suspect that if he had chosen Pioer and accepted her wedding proposal, she would have steered him away from the financial fraud and criminal acts, and guided him to a better path. So much time wasted. Prison. Sex worker. So much guilt and pain. Glad to seenthey made it work and have a baby. They were fated to be. What kills a sex worker when it comes to sex is the lack of emotion and the grind. Piper found a way to endure despite the mileage by taking what she thought was a proactive attitude, think herself as a sex therapist. While it doesn't really stand up to the light of day, it is her survival/ coping mechanism. Mitch's ironic arrival post release from prison shattered her carefully balanced world and hammered her self esteem. Fortunately their love could overcome all of those challenges. Like I said at the top, a well written but gritty and sad true romance.

Wait why do readers think both of them are cheaters? Piper never chested on her psycho husband and put up with way too much IMHO. Her having sex with some boyfriends while dating in a non exclusive relationship, 3000 miles apart from Mitch is ludicrous. Mitch is a tougher case, nit because he dated Addison but fell in love with her also and even flirted with trying to hedge and keep both. But he didn't. But they were not exclusive and going to school far apart. He knew she had dated at college and accepted it. She didn't know about the seriousness of Mitch's feelings for Addison. That led to the ambush. I feel sorry for Piper. Less so for Mitch. But he atone and did not judge.Piper.

In my opinion your best story. I just loved it.

Scores 5/5

Really good.

Neither were cheaters. Life dealt them some shitty cards, especially Piper. Mitch made his own mess. He chose poorly, married the future 'neglected' slut Addison, committed SEC fraud, bashed in the face of his wife's coffee shop drug-addled lover (what was Addison thinking?), and went to prison. He lied about nit loving Piper to set her free of future expectations, not knowing she blamed herself for a brief dalliance with some faceless guy Mark who rung her bells recently, knowing full well that she and Mitch were NOT exclusive. Yeah she got into a shitty abusive marriage with a nutcase, after being abandoned by her father (the asshole who denied her Duke), and saddled with a mother who has a terminal, progressive, rare, degenerative disease. Then post divorce, stuck in Pogonip Nevada, with no job experience or hope for one, she became a sex worker to support her mother, never letting her mother know the truth. So why isn't she allowed to have happiness. Mitch is the only man she loved. Asshole was just someone to make her feel less alone. She never betrayed Mitch. Yeah she does have a LOT of sexual mileage. At $400 per hour (probably makes $300 as independent after Ranch got their overhead), clearing $245,000 after taxes, means she spent a lot of time over six years on her back, i.e. literally thousands of clients. But love is about a lot more than orgasms and she had no emotional intimacy with her clients. She created a fantasy in her head about being a sexual therapist tomhide her own shame, something that got dispelled promptly when she learned Mitch had seen her by happenstance. So yeah happy for them that they reconnect and make it work. Ending was short and sweet. They live happily ever after. But wow what a lost 10 years. Imagine if Mitch had chosen differently or her father had supported her going to college.

Second time reading this, still five stars

When he tells her and she wants her mother gets me in the chest everytime.

Such great story telling

Obvious downfall is no further explanation/reference to 'Mark' and the unbelievable stupidity of writing that any man could EVER take that as any sort of 'compliment'. Yes, I know they are fictional characters but the plot is not set in the Twilight Zone. Her stated understanding of it is the realistic interpretation of the incident, which is why it needed explanation; not silence.

Still, that aside, good read.

Great story telling

Better second time around

5*

Just finished Gravity. Liked the style. Different povs awkward at first, but came together well. I’m a sucker for happy endings and prefer good stories to heavy, detailed sex. Five stars easy. Gonna read more of yours.

Well written

Thank you

This is a good story. RobertaBob really captured the reality of two messed up people. The story is a bit dark but the quality is high. Thank you.

I loved the complexity of the story. Grace comes in many forms. It has a Plainsong by Kent Haruf feel to it. I wonder if we would get a trilogy out of this? Thank you.

Love this!

Definitely one of my favourite from this site

Such an emotional story

I absolutely adore stories of broken and damaged people fighting through all the adversity to find happiness.

This is one of the best of that kind of story.

Second time through. Well crafted story about severely damaged people somehow making it.

I’ll say it again…WOW>

MSome of the best writing I have ever, ever, experienced in a very long life. Bravo. It it magnificent work. Tears in my eyes excellent.

A lovely story about complex, likable, damaged MCs who find their way back to each other. Thanks for the ride! Gonna have to read the rest of your stories now. 5*

I'm not sure how I missed finding you, with all the damned reading I do on this site, but I'm sure glad I did. You are one heck of a writer. This was one beautiful, touching, intensely sad story. I was hooked from beginning to end. Well told, well written, nice ending. Hope they lived forever happily ever after. Thanks very much for this.

Outstanding story of two damaged souls finding each other and happiness

One word...OUTSTANDING!

Read again, and again marvel at how shallow some people read, then comment. No, he didn't go to prison for assaulting the druggie, it was for financial chicanery. No, the two children weren't hers, they were her sister's. No, he wasn't a cuckold, they weren't married (not even in a theoretically exclusive relationship). Do have to admit that the Lulu interlude was off-putting and more than superfluous, even if he was at the end of a 5-year drought and she was aroused by his obvious hunger, but that sidestep was more than outshined by the restoration of the two damaged souls. Still a wonderful story,