All Comments on 'A Chinese in the Red-Light District'

Rarely do I encourage people to dumb down their vocabulary but in your case, the use of all the 5 cent words makes the writing stilted and feel unnatural. It feels like you were sitting with a thesaurus looking for fancy words and looking for a fancy version of every word you wrote.

I recommend that you save the big words for when you want to make a dramatic point and talk plain folk for the more mundane items. For example; you wrote "She'll optically discern it's a woman" rather than "she'll see it's a women."

I appreciate your effort and your sharing your story. Please continue your writing.

It seems to me that English is not your 1st language.

Seems like this was a deliberate attempt to make this unreadable- no one cares

Have you ever visited that portion of Erin's plot that offers its sympathetic soil for the minute survey and scrutinous examination of those in political power, whose decision has wisely been the means before now of converting the stern and prejudiced, and reaching the hand of slight aid to share its strength in augmenting its agricultural richness?

This story (as well as another posted by this member) was written by Lotuseater back in 2000 and in much better English.

Love For Sale

by Lotuseater

"Karen, that's wonderful! I'm so proud - dean's list three times running

... of course I pulled over. You know I don't like to speak on the phone

while driving. No, just picked up some dry cleaning ... no, Daddy's working

late ... I was just going home for another supper alone. Thanks - love you,

too!"

Vivienne Wu hung up and, for the first time noticed

her surroundings, Willow Grove's notorious red light district. When her

daughter had called, she had stopped on Pepper Street. With the tinted

glass of her convertible, it was impossible for pedestrians to discern who

was driving.

"Lucky for me," Vivienne thought amusedly, as her hand

went to the gearshift. "It wouldn't do for Officer

Flynn to think Colin was looking for 'action' at five o'clock in the

evening!"

A tap at her window caught her attention. Unnoticed, someone had sidled up

to the driver's side and was now peering in vain to make out the driver.

Automatically out of politeness, Vivienne pushed the

down button for the window. "She'll see it's a woman and go away," she

thought.

As the tinted glass rolled down, Vivienne was struck

by the prostitute's stunning appearance. Nearly six feet tall in

ludicrously high heels, the tan woman had luxuriant

titian hair that cascaded past her bottom. Her tresses were longer than her

fluorescent tangerine dress, which clung to her curves as though painted on.

A bright lime-green shoulder bag dangled from the woman's

left wrist, and a slim black bidi cigarette wisped smoke

between her slender fingers. This was the most

sensuous person of either sex Vivienne had ever seen.

"Hello," she smiled, a little crookedly. "I am Manuela.

You like?"

"He-hello," Vivienne hesitated. "Yes...I...like..."

Manuela bent to bring her face through the open window.

Her scent, strawberries and citrus, wafted over Vivienne, like waves on a

beach.

"Mmmm...you are Chinese?"

Vivienne could only mutely nod.

"I've never had a Chinese woman before," Manuela whispered,

as she brought her full lips to Vivienne's cheek.

"Please - please get in," Vivienne managed, hoarsely.

Manuela brushed her painted lips lightly over Vivienne's

mouth. Vivienne involuntarily closed her eyes, knuckles

white on the steering wheel. The tan woman's orange

lacquered fingernails brushed Vivienne's flaming cheek.

The fragrance of the vanilla-flavored tobacco on Manuela's

breath exhilarated Vivienne.

"I think I will," Manuela breathed.

Opening her eyes, Vivienne couldn't remove her sight from Manuela's form, as

she slunk sinuously to the passenger's side.

Closing her door, Manuela simply took Vivienne's face

in both her hands and kissed her full on the mouth. Tongues

intertwined and searched, duelling in amorous contest with

both emerging victorious. Vivienne couldn't refrain from

moaning from deep in her throat as the exquisite sensations

overcame her.

She finally broke the kiss, to regain her breath and composure.

"Wow."

"I enjoyed that." admitted Manuela. "Where can we go?"

Vivienne considered. She didn't feel right inviting

Manuela to her home, and she didn't know her well enough

yet to invite herself to Manuela's place.

"Let's go to the Cosmopolitan."

"But that's in Central City!"

"It's twenty minutes on the Interstate. They make a terrific Caesar,"

Vivienne cringed as she heard herself trying to make small talk with this

erotic creature.

Manuela grinned.

"Why not?"

The sleek black BMW sped away into the twilight.

"Baby, I'm gonna show you the time of your life..."

There seemed to be no appropriate response, so Vivienne kept her silence

until they approached the hotel.

"Shall we eat first?" asked Vivienne politely, as they

pulled into the parking area. She blushed furiously as

Manuela only leered at her in reply.

"You know what I mean!"

"Business before pleasure, honey."

"All right. I've never done this before, you know."

"Leave it to me." Manuela got out and went around

to Vivienne's window. "I'll be right back."

Five minutes later, she returned with a key.

"I promise you, this is going to be really special," smiled Manuela.

Hand in hand, like it was the most natural thing in the world, the women

strolled into the luxury hotel. They took the elevator, fingers still

clasped, eyeing each other with

mutual interest and curiosity.

Manuela opened the door for Vivienne and ushered her in, hand in the small

of her back. She closed it quietly behind them, fumbling for a moment in

her purse.

Breathing deeply, Vivienne took in a glance around the room, nodding her

approval.

When her eyes eventually returned to her sexy companion, she was shocked to

see Manuela, hip outslung, brandishing handcuffs and a chained badge on her

index finger!

"Okay, sweetie, don't make this any harder on yourself

than it needs to be. You're under arrest. You have

the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be..."

The words blurred together. Vivienne could only think

numbly of the scandal as her hands were manacled behind her. What would

Colin say?

"You don't mind if I pat you down, honey?" Manuela asked,

half-apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's regulations."

Vivienne shut her eyes tightly and shook her head. On the verge of tears,

she didn't trust herself to speak.

Manuela grinned, fished a white-and-red tin from her handbag. She popped a

couple of round white mints into her mouth, and rubbed her hands together.

Vivienne flinched slightly at the contact of her warm hand

on her neck. Despite herself, Vivienne trembled with excitement and

arousal.

>From behind her, Manuela slipped Vivienne's blazer off her shoulders, and

let it slip down to her bound wrists. Gently, she moved her hands over

Vivienne's shoulders, her arms and her torso.

The Chinese woman stiffened abruptly when she felt Manuela's hands cup her

large, firm breasts.

"You are very excited by this, yes?"

Bewildered, Vivienne didn't know what to do. Practiced fingers tease her

nipples, rigid from fear and arousal.

Manuela felt Vivienne involuntarily respond to her touch. She continued her

examination, letting her palms linger over those marvelous tits before

uncupping them.

"What do we have here?" she asked rhetorically, as she unbuttoned the front

of Vivienne's blouse. "Oh, concealed weapons?"

She nimbly unclasped the front of Vivienne's frilly black bra.

"Hmmm, this calls for a closer look."

Vivienne couldn't help but open her eyes at that. She gaped as she watched

the top of that luxuriant mane bend toward her bosom. Now, she could smell

the strong odor of peppermint on Manuela's breath. Hot breath seemed to

sear her naked breast. She felt her mouth work spasmodically, as

an icy/spicy tongue burned the tip of her nipple.

Manuela expertly teased Vivienne's brown nipples to rock-hard attention, her

hands sensuously playing over her own body under Vivienne's rapt gaze. Her

hazel eyes caught Vivienne's and she winked seductively, rolling her tongue

lasciviously between half-open lips.

Fascinated, Vivienne watched as Manuela slowly knelt, and eased a finger

into her mouth, moistening it. With her other hand, she unfastened

Vivienne's skirt while her helpless captive reflexively moved her hips

towards her touch. They were so close to each other Vivienne could see

Manuela's pupils dilate as her gaze lingered apporvingly on her toned

thighs.

As the skirt dropped to the carpet, Manuela used her wet

finger to draw down the elastic of Vivienne's panties. She noted with

satisfaction that the standing woman's juices freely flowed from a dripping

pussy. She extended her tongue as far as she could, to tease the dark folds

apart so their glistening moisture could continue to please her eye.

Mesmerized, Vivienne stifled a moan as she watched Manuela

impishly wrinkle her nose while lapping at her drooling cunt. With her

clothing dangling behind her from bound arms, she somehow felt more naked

than had she been totally nude. Manuela's peppermint-laced tongue felt like

a red-hot poker against her oozing snatch. She had to have more of that

electric tongue, or explode!

"C'mon over here, sugar. Mama needs better -- uh, light," Manuela panted.

She towed her compliant charge to the king-sized bed.

Obediently, Vivienne sat and splayed her legs for Manuela. The brown woman

bent and caressed Vivienne's feet, still clad in stylish black pumps, before

crossing her arms and pulling her orange spandex dress over her head to

reveal a magnificent body, toffee-colored all over.

Vivienne's eyes widened as she saw Manuela's bleached blonde pubic hair.

She licked her lips in anticipation as Manuela swung her long legs onto the

bed.

"What do you think of my 'special' treatment?" Manuela asked, lightly raking

her own body with long nails. She kittenishly pouted for Vivienne, hands

cupping the opulent mounds of her golden breasts.

"You were right, it is very special..." purred Vivienne into her ear. Hands

still behind her, she bent to take the tip of Manuela's left breast into her

hungry mouth.

The hard lozenge of flesh was the biggest Vivienne had ever seen. The pink

pyramid was fully an inch long, and its resilience felt divine between

Vivienne's teeth. She savored the dewy moistness adorning the turgid nipple

even as she gobbled greedily. Vivienne could taste the sweetness of

tobacco on Manuela's body. It excited her strangely...

Vivienne was gratified to feel Manuela's body writhe in reaction to her

ministrations. She felt totally dominated as Manuela clutched her hair with

her left hand, and used her right to guide Vivienne's mouth to her own for a

kiss.

Heavy-lidded with lust, her eyes rolled back in her head and finally shut.

Peppermint passion flooding her mouth and her senses. The hot tongue

searched greedily, danced enticingly with her own, then thrust insistently.

The two women moaned in concert as the heat of their lovemaking reached

fever pitch.

Hands still chained together, Vivienne nuzzled Manuela's damp sex as well as

she could, urging herself forwards with elbows and shoulders.

"Ooooohh, mmmm, baby..." Manuela sighed, shifting her thighs to clamp gently

on Vivienne's head to afford her better access. "That's it - oh, yeah!"

Vivienne salivated as she warmed to her task, Manuela's lush muskiness

washing over her eager nose, her cheek, her chin.

Unencumbered, Manuela used her fingers, lips and tongue to devastating

effect on Vivienne's labia, clitoris and sopping love-tunnel. She felt her

own climax mounting as Vivienne's supine form wriggled orgiastically.

"Ahh...that...feels...great..."

"Mmmmh - nngh! Ngh! Mmm!" came Vivienne's muffled reply.

"Oh, God! I'm going to...going to...Oh! Ohhh! Oh! OH! OOOH!"

Manuela screamed out her climax as she felt her warm love-syrup gush into

Vivienne's sucking mouth. At the instant of Manuela's release, Vivienne

felt herself go over the edge. She spewed her hot cum all over Manuela's

face.

Now moaning softly, Manuela rubbed her face and hair into Vivienne's

juice-laden thighs. Her flushed face looked tenderly into Vivienne's.

She sat up, stroking Vivienne's hair.

"We've got all night, baby. What can Manuela do for you next?"

Vivienne considered for a moment.

"Would you...smoke for me?"

END