All Comments on 'A Christmas Surprise'

You really have a sexy way of writing. Very erotic. This being both their first times, it was fairly brief , ut that made even more realistic. i know I was no marathon man my first time. lol. He really was way too close to her period to be dumping baby fertilizer, one of those little eggs could be nestled in a fold and two lives just got ruined, maybe three if she has the baby. I was careful to a fault about that, Once you go through the agony of having someone try to entrap you into marrying them and being father to someone else’s mistake. No no no No !

Anyway i sure hope this stays fun and light because i enjoy your writing.

Dialogue reads like it was written by a 4th-grader. So stilted.

"By that time their parents deiced they were of an age ..."?

Deiced??

Anyone posting negative critical comments under the anonymous tag should have their ip address banned. "Stupid is as stupid does." Most people doing this is only there to discourage decent amateurs. You can erase its post, as it is worthless opinion. Also you can choose to write without comment or rating...you will not be able enter the competition, but you won't have to suffer meaningless crap like that. I have posted negative reviews, but only when I am signed in. Most are encouraged critical comment, positive and focused on improvements.

"(to be continued?)"

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If you have to ask whether or not to continue your own story, don't.

I really liked this story. The plot was fine. You might lengthen the build up to make it more titillating. But overall we really got to know these two discover each other sexually. And the taboo made it even more erotic.Thanks and keep it up

So to speak!!😊

I do not worry about the haters. The two criticism here so far are pretty meaningless and speak more abut the person doing the criticizing than to anything about my story or my writing. Oh i had one typo? wow that makes me terrible. lol. And you are correct, if one has to hide behind anonymous to make their criticisms, that says something about them as well. Is this a perfect story? of course not, I am an amateur, just having some fun and enjoying sharing it.

Ditto to what amepacul says. I think people who leave hateful remarks or only criticism without any constructive feedback are basically classless, cowardly little people without any pride. I mean how hard is it to be mean or spiteful when hiding behind a computer screen? Not hardly.

I think your story was good. Like anything we do there is always a bit of room for improvement. So keep on writing, enjoy yourself because I definitely enjoyed myself reading this. And YES!!!! Please continue this. And thank you for your writing.

@amepacul

Why do people like you always criticise anonymous posters? Your profile says you're a bisexual female from Alabama, which may or may not be true, so you're hardly giving much away. You have contributed only one story and it's hardly credible so you're not really on the high ground are you. You only think you are.

As for this story, it's OK at best, nothing special.

Sweet, emotional, curious, gratifying, caring and more. Great treatment of your genre of choice. Keep writing and remember that the 'anons' hide. They don't write.

Yes, if they cannot own up to their criticisms and have to hide behind being anonymous, they lose all credibility. I you don't like a story move on.

Here's an anonymous user who liked the story. 5 stars. Better than most.

Loved it, it does need a proofread and editor but the story needs continuation. Keep up the writing!!

Truly intimate and explores a first time with a two caring people.

I enjoyed the story, when can we expect chapter 2