A Correspondence with Sharon Ch. 03

Nothing happened for the next five minutes or so. Then Jay said "damn, you're making me horny". He took my hand and held it over his erection and said "Look what I've got for you". Then he said to his friends "That's got to make her mouth water" and turned to me and said "Doesn't it honey". I didn't answer but he pressed it until I said "yes". Then he told his friends "This girl will suck my cock anytime I want" while turning to me with "Won't you honey". I felt humiliated and quietly answered "yes Jay".

The guys started taunting Jay saying "How about now"? I immediately pleaded "Please no Jay". He smiled and told me "Give it a kiss for the boys". I told him no in a way that really said "don't make me do this". Then showing off for his buddies, he ordered "Kiss it now". I leaned over and kissed his erection through his jeans while everyone jeered. Then he announced to everyone "I'll let her finish the job on the way home" and pulled me away and toward the car. I did finish it during the drive back to my car.

That was just one example of him showing off. It sticks in my mind more because it was the first time he publicly humiliated me. There were other examples but I'll get to them another time. Ask that question again.

You asked if he wanted me to dress in any particular way.

It may be a common theme in stories and I can verify it does have a basis in reality. In the beginning, there were no demands or requests other then the comment that he like something I wore that day. As the relationship got more complicated, he started requesting that I wear skirts more often. He also wanted me to wear tops that buttoned down the front instead of pull over tops. At that time I was glad to do that for him. I assumed he liked me in skirts because Lee never wore a skirt or dress and only wore T-shirts and pull over tops. . The real reason was that skirts could be hiked up to be revealing and button up tops could be unbuttoned. I was pressured daily to open an extra button and often did.

He next asked me to not wear a bra to work. At first I went without one some of the time then later always went without one. Because of my small breast size (34B), I could get away with it. Sometimes he would ask me to wear a dress with nothing under it. I was uncomfortable with that but did it. He wanted me to wear short skirts to work. I wouldn't because it was very inappropriate. I did wear one that was mid thigh once and got disapproving looks from Lee. Jay did buy me a sexy jumper and a very short skirt but I wouldn't wear them to work. He did understand my reasoning there. During my last months there, I seldom wore anything under my outer garments at Jay's request.

Sex in unusual places?

That was more the norm then not. Of course there was every room of the office. There was my bed at home and his bed at his home. His truck, my car, and Lee's car. In front of a floor to ceiling window that was viewable by traffic on a nearby road. A public park (several times) A church parking lot as well as other parking lots. A rest area on an interstate highway. A movie theater blow job. A boat in the middle of a river. Three public restrooms (men's) Those are the ones I can immediately recall. I know there were others.

Perhaps the two most unusual places were under the stands at a high school football game. Lee was in the stands. The other really weird place was in a graveyard in the middle of the day. He wanted to do it on this one grave. He also insisted that I strip completely naked for it. Actually, in most of the places I mentioned he insisted that I was completely naked while he either just unzipped or pulled his pants down to his knees.

How many people did he force me to have sex with?

To be honest, I've never really counted. I can safely say more then ten. but probably less then twenty with several of them (like his brother) more then once. It was all men and one 16 year old.

There were times with multiple sex partners. Usually, it was Jay and someone else. Jay enjoyed watching other men have sex with me and sometimes didn't even participate. He would have sex with me later. There was one time in a motel room when there were 4 men and Jay.

I think that answers your questions. As always, I can elaborate more on anything that I've told you if that is your desire. Again, your questions are always welcome.

Sharon

Oct 10/11/08 11:33 PM

Sharon,

I am continually amazed at what you went through with Jay. Just to put things in perspective, though I'd like to tell you about some experiences that my wife and I had with another couple that we had become good friends with. [I have deleted the actual story since it reveals too many intimate details about my life and is not necessary to understanding Sharon's response.]

I told you that story to let you know that a lot of people do things that later they realize were mistakes, but seemed right at the time. Most of them never tell anybody, so we all think that we are the only ones. Our unique relationship allows us both to talk about these experiences which is probably a good thing, from a mental health perspective. That said, I still feel like I have to be careful about how I ask certain questions; I don't want to risk offending you. Also feel free to correct me when I make an observation that is wrong or if I say something offensive.

When you told me about Jay forcing you to have sex with other men I was thinking more like four or five, but when you indicated that it was more like 10 to 20, I was a little surprised. That he included his own brother was even more so. I'm assuming that was the first man he made you have sex with, so maybe next you could tell me about that experience. Was Jay's brother like him? Did his brother know about your affair with Jay before he had sex with you?

Best wishes,

Paul.

Oct 10/12/08 9:49 PM

Hi Paul

I enjoyed reading about your sharing experience. It really makes a person wonder about how many other so called "normal" people have had similar experiences but never get the opportunity to express them because of the attached social stigma. I don't know about you men but women seldom discuss sexual experiences with other women. Women tend to care more about what other women think about them then they do men so we are always putting on a false front around other girls.

The exception to that rule would be best friends and even then there are things that just aren't discussed. I'm a good example of that. My best friend is Ann and I did tell her that I had sex with Jay but never elaborated and she still, even today, doesn't know the extent of that relationship. I also know from her that she has had men other then her husband

I think the point that I am so badly trying to make is that I agree with you. There are probably a lot of people who have had experiences they never share with anyone. I'm sure that unconventional sexual experiences are a lot more common then either of us would care to guess.

There is something else I wanted to mention. Men seem to always be hung up on size. With men, it seems that bigger is always better. Generally that isn't the case with women. Men seem to be fixated on big boobs and the size of their (for lack of a better word) cocks. Like most women I have little interest in either. I wouldn't want big boobs and I'm very happy with the size I have. They don't sag and I can sleep on my stomach. As for a big penis, you men definitely have the wrong idea about them. Sure, we girls might tease about wanting the big one but the facts are very few of us do. Your wife is right. They can actually be painful. The vast majority of women would pass if confronted by a big one. Still, men seem to think that is what women want and it couldn't be farther from the truth. I feel safe in saying that if your wife came home and said she had sex with another man, one of the first questions out of your mouth would be "How big was he"? If my husband came home and said he just had sex with another woman, the question "How big were her boobs"? would never enter my mind.

My experience with Jay did have a pronounced affect on me for a long time. Actually, I was more of an emotional wreck while it was going on then after it ended but there were lasting effects. For the longest time afterward, I was afraid to get close to any man. I felt used by Jay and wasn't about to let another man do it to me again. It also affected my enjoyment of sex. My mind associated sex with my bad experience with Jay. That took a while to get over. The important thing is that I did get over it and put it behind me. One of the reasons I went back to school was my desire to change professions. I even associated working in an office with my Jay experience. There were many a night when I would just sit by myself and cry about what had happened and what I did. I was really in an emotional hole. The only exit I had was to put everything behind me and completely start my life over. Now I know it was the best thing I ever did and the reason I am happy today. Telling you about it now after all of this time has also been a huge help with me putting this behind me. By holding all of this within myself, it has been like a wound that wouldn't heal. I find now that as I tell you of each experience, it is as if I am lifting it off of my conscience and replacing it with a sense of relief.

Talking to you about this is in fact the final action I needed to rid myself my experiences with Jay. Even though I put it behind me. I avoided facing it. It was like I put it on a shelf in the back of my mind. I could ignore it but it was always there. Telling you about it is like taking it off of that shelf and throwing it away bit by bit. That is why I am opening up about this in as much graphic detail as I can remember. Your understanding has given me the opportunity to rid myself of this and I'm trying to take full advantage of it. With that in mind, I would like you to not hold back with any questions you might have. Please ask them. I'm sure that your concerns about my feelings in this matter have caused you to hold back with the more pointed questions. Please don't. It is the things that are the hardest for me to talk about that I need to get rid of the most. Do not be concerned with my feelings when asking questions. I welcome them.

You asked to be corrected if you were wrong so I will correct you. Jay's brother was not the first guy he shared me with. The first one was his friend Greg. That was a surprise to me but not to them. They had it planned. I mentioned Jay's brother because that wasn't a surprise, it was a shock. I could almost understand him wanting to share me with his friend. I was like a toy that he could have more fun with if he let his friend play too. Giving me to his brother was a complete shock. Like you, I could not understand it at all. I do somewhat now and will tell you about it.

For now, I'm getting tired. Unless I get an emergency call in the morning, I'm not teaching, so I will write and tell you all about the brother experience as well as your other questions tomorrow.

Sharon

Oct 10/14/08 7:53 PM

Hi Paul,

As promised, I will now tell you about my experiences with Jay's brother Rick.

Jay was close with his brother. There was only a year difference between them in age. They grew up together on a farm and always did everything together. If Jay was a loser and he was, his brother was a bigger loser. At least Jay had a pleasant personality and some common sense. Rick even lacked that. His personal hygiene was even terrible. The sad thing about that was that he didn't care. Jay was not the brightest guy in the world but he had an astounding ability to manipulate people. I was a good example of that. Rick was just crude and obnoxious. If he had any redeeming qualities, they escape me.

Rick was not a frequent visitor to the office and I barely knew him. He would stop in periodically when he wanted money. My only contact with him was when Lee would come to me and tell me to make him a check. He never said hardly anything to me or anyone. I'd give him a check and he would be gone until the next time. Jay did tell me a few times that Rick thought I was "beautiful". It was more like a passing comment then a statement.

After my relationship with Jay got very involved, We started seeing each other outside of the office. With Joey's work schedule, I had the free time. Jay didn't. A lot of the times he would use the excuse of doing something with his brother to get out to see me. Only once did we actually see his brother at one of the redneck bars we went to. Rick was a heavy drinker. He sat with us at a table but didn't talk much with me. It was almost like he was afraid of me. I was content with that because I wanted nothing to do with the drunken bum. Every other word out of his mouth seemed to be "fuck". He couldn't even complete a sentence without using that word. Anyway he didn't stay with us very long and went off to drink with his other drunken friends. I felt that even Jay was a little embarrassed by his brother.

The first time Jay actually shared me was with his friend Greg. That is another story that I won't dwell on now. I only mention it to inform you that Rick was not the first time Jay wanted me to have sex with another. I had done it with Greg several times before Rick came into the picture. I understood that Jay had no qualms about letting another guy have sex with me. There was even another friend named Don that Jay insisted I give a hand job to while we were riding in my car. (Jay was driving) I'm pretty sure they were the only two before Rick.

On this one day, I believe it was a Friday, Jay came to me in the office and said he had made plans to go to Beth's house for a party and wanted me to be there. Beth was another employee. I didn't think that was a very good idea because of office rumors. Jay's response was "Don't worry about it". "She knows". That was a surprise to me but it probably shouldn't have been. Then he told me Lee would also be there but she was going to drive herself because she had something else to do earlier. Since I had no idea where Beth lived and didn't live in that area, Jay was going to meet me at the office and drive me there.

I never socialized with the staff much since we literally lived in two different worlds. Jay was very insistent that I go to this party. He said it would help alleviate the snobbish attitude everyone thought I had. He even told me to dress down for the occasion by wearing jeans and a T-shirt. That seemed to be the common dress code for people in that area.

After work, I went home and changed out of the dress I was wearing. Then I made the hour plus drive back to the office to find Jay waiting for me in the parking area. I got into his pick up truck and we went to Beth's house. Everyone seemed a bit surprised that I had come but everyone was friendly. It was a typical party with everyone socializing and drinking. Jay stayed pretty much by my side. About an hour later Lee arrived and explained to everyone why she was late. It isn't important but she had to pick up a friend at the airport.

After Lee got there, Jay stayed away from me. Lee didn't and we were kind of hanging out together. I was amazed at how Lee could drink. They passed around a bottle of whiskey. Everyone would take a drink out of it and pass it to the next person. When it got to Lee, I expected her to either pass it on or take a small sip. She gulped down a large quantity like it was a bottle of water and never flinched. I passed it along without drinking any.

There were about twenty people there at any given time. People came and left. Most of us were hanging around the kitchen and living room area. Some people had drifted off to another room that was like a family room with a TV. Lee and I decided to see what was going on there. On the TV was a hard core porno movie. I learned that porno movies were a common part of these parties and even the women watched them. This was out in the country where VCRs were essential because cable didn't go out that far. Porno movies were the common adult entertainment and no one thought much about them being on.

Lee and I sat down on a couch with Suzy and her husband. Another whiskey bottle was being passed around. Generally, this was far from the social event I was used to but I was trying my best to fit in. I wouldn't drink out of a bottle everyone had their mouth on but I did try to act as if the porno movie was no big deal. After a short time, just about everyone was crowded into this room. Jay was in a corner talking with some other husbands and basically ignoring me. I sat quietly with Lee who was talking non stop with everyone.

That was the scene when suddenly a joint was passed to me. I DO NOT DO POT and don't like even being around it. Apparently, no one else there shared my view. This was another cultural clash. These were all basically country people. Because of the lack of entertainment options, they regularly grew and smoked their own pot. Several joints were being smoked and passed around the room. To avoid seeming too out of place, I tried to just ignore it. It was hard because the room was like a cloud. Lee was really into smoking it. What I did find amazing was that of all of the people there smoking the pot, only one or two smoked cigarettes.

I was still sitting with Lee who was getting more boisterous with every puff. She turned to me and said "God, I'm getting horny". Then she went on to explain how pot always made her horny and that the porno movie was only making it worse. Lee was clearly drunk and high. She was having a problem with repeating herself.

She must have asked me 5 times if I liked her. I answered "of course I do" and told her what a great boss and friend she was.

Then Lee made me very nervous by asking if I liked her husband. I was very concerned about where that would lead. I know I that had to of turned white when she made the statement "I've seem you two around the office". Before I could answer her (as if I had an answer) she asked "you want to fuck him, don't you"? I denied it. lee slurred out "Don't lie to me honey", "I know better". To say the least, I was very uncomfortable. Lee told me that Jay wanted to "fuck" me and thought I had a better body then she did. Then to my surprise, she started crying. She said that I did have a better body then her and she couldn't blame Jay for wanting it. She said to me "You're so pretty and I was never pretty" and went on to put herself down as an ugly farm girl. I tried lifting her spirits by telling her that she was attractive. Lee seemed so far gone that I wasn't even sure my words were getting through. For the next twenty minutes or more I listened while she told me about how guys only wanted to date her for sex and would never call back. She said she was so ugly that she had to ask a guy to take her to her high school prom because no one wanted her. She just kept putting herself down and repeated that she wished she looked like me. It seemed to go on and on.

Finally Lee moved her face right in front of mine and asked if I really thought she was attractive. I said yes. Then she asked if I really liked her. Again, I said yes. The next thing was the shocker. I didn't see it coming at all. Lee pulled me to her and kissed me on the lips. This wasn't a friendly peck. She was trying to kiss me like a man kisses a woman. When I said "Please no Lee" her tongue went into my mouth. I was weakly trying to push her away but was afraid of angering her because her moods seemed to be shifting from one extreme to another. I was letting her kiss me but was doing little in returning her advances.

What I did notice was that everyone there had been ignoring us earlier but weren't now. We became the center of attraction. Every time she would let up for a breath I would tell her "No Lee I'm not like that" but my words were not heard or ignored. There were people in the room actually cheering her on. Lee openly started groping my breasts and that brought even more cheers. I felt helpless and very embarrassed. Lee was really getting into it and breathing hard. I wasn't.