All Comments on 'A Costly Mistake - Alternate Version'

Yes! I look forward to a second chapter.

Well done but it doesn't track. If she "would give her life " for Matt, why on earth would she fuck Dan? No amount of "pretend" would make a woman do that. And why did Matt suddenly get a conscious? He's going to jail. If not for borrowing the money, but for committing fraud. In fact, they might ALL end up in jail for fraud. Why write a second part and not finish it? Failing that, it's just another unfinished Literotica mess.

Make the bitch much more miserable, don't make it a reconciliation ending, oh and include the douchebag

Damn!!!!111 Fine wrap-up, but you do need an ending After that stunning crescendo, you will need a BIG spectacular wrap-up!!! 5+++/5!!!

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I think you writing 'voice' is exceptional, something which seems almost endemic to writers in the UK!

Can’t give you 5/5 because you did not finish the story. It was good, end it yourself. Dan has to pay, Susan has to be divorced and then if u wish Matt and Susan can reconnect, date and remarry.

Their relationship will never be the same again, he will forgive but never forget. Their family will continue with loving parents,

Dan will die in misery, poor, homeless in a ditch. He gets everything he deserved.

All I’ll say about another part is do t forget or skip over the kids.

Pretty engaging. In my experience, the office affair comes together pretty realistically, except the b.s. about clients giving a shit about their marital status. Another chapter would be great. I envision that, since Matt has become the close-minded troll, their breakup is more HIS fault than hers. The next chapter should show her staying on and Dan pursuing her in a very conventional way thru marriage and a happy ever after. Clients will love it. Kids will love him too as their dad is always miserable to be around while he is fun-loving and attentive.

Or, if one prefers, she becomes the company's in-house prostitute, fucking new clients to get them to sign up. Any way you do it. Susan needs to be the center of future attention, not the bitter and closed-minded hubby.

Ted hires a much wiser Matt and they enjoy business and financial success. Matt dates, but doesn’t remarry. Susan and Dan fall back to each other, but find the struggle to rebuild the empire is not as fun and exciting as riding the peak of its success. They don’t reclaim their former glory and plod along for years until their business is acquired by Matt who fires them.

That would be great but I think it would be just formulaic. I'd like to see that something more imaginative think you are fully capable of. Good story so far.

Go for reconciliation

Doesn't need a second chapter unless you plan to force a RAAC.

At the beginning, I was expecting to find out that Susan and Dan had actually set Matt up to be caught. This was done to blackmail Matt into allowing the affair. This never panned out. Silly me.

Dan needs lose it all Matt should start his on company with the contract Damn lost. And Susan has to watch Matt with some one she is jealous of and become successful Than maybe after 2 or3 years get back but only after she suffer

No, not better than the first version. Why? because in that version there was a real reason for Dan to find out about the money and she was a real cheating whore. In this all those facts stayed in a limbo...1*

The first version was better than this one. Just quit.

Don’t bother

yes please a chapter 2

Ok but unfinished

It's a good story! The course of events for the affair seems plausible enough, given the circumstances. The only part that took me out of the story was when the client (Ted) chastised her and ended the contract. It seemed a bit forced. Realistically, I don't think the clients would care all that much about marital status. However, they might terminate their contract if the scandal garners too much negative attention, to distance themselves from the fallout.

Looking forward to chapter 2.

No more, I beg of thee, no more. There's no way to save this contrived mess.

Well being an old romantic, i would like a happy ending even if the couple don't get married again but on the other hand, the way she disrespected the husband maybe too much to forgive and forget. Maybe friends with benifits until he finds someone else.

I agree you have left unanswered how Dan suddenly found the missing funds. There is time in Part 2 to rectify that omission. Part of the problem with comments on this tale is that you reference an original. If I ignore the original, you did a good job recreating the characters and presented a plausible story line that may happen in real life. If I have a criticism, it wouldn't have taken Matt as long as you drug it out that something was going on between them. If you do write a part 2, understand if you go RAAC the commenters, especially anonymous, will crucify you! LOL As I've commented on others stories, life is never pure BTB or RAAC. If underage children are involved the parents should do everything possible to repair their marriage, or at least patch it until the kids are grown, then re-evaluate. It's your story, go where you want! 4*

The story is complete. Walk away, and recind your offer for other authore to write another chapter.

Definitely needs a part 2 - soon

This is not as good as the first version. She not only acted like Dan's wife, she consummated it by cheating on Matt. There is no explanation why he borrowed the money like the first story so she'd be 'forced' to to agree. I guess there was no affair before hand.

This acting as the bosses wife/whore to get contracts has been done too many times. Using the same plot is not a bad thing..there are only so many basic plots out there. But the way you tell it offers nothing. Except she liked the role.

Isn’t that about what happened in version 1 ?

I liked the original just the way it was. This was pretty good too but I do think you now need a sequel.

part 2 please

The Matt in this version did EXACTLY what a man should do with a wife who inhaled too much Martian Slut Ray fumes.

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4 ****

Chapter 2 please . Liked it!

FTDS with Dan having to take a job working lots of hours for poor pay with no future

Develop Matt as best revenge is a life lived well….goes to work for Ted

She hets remarried and has to struggle throughout loses kids to Matt

Reconcile but do it right over a period of time not just a your forgiven. Make it earned.

Well done!

Enjoyed the story. Liked that Matt publicly took them down hard. Not sure about a second chapter. I don't see anyway Matt takes her back after exposing her behavior that publicly. She tried to have her cake and eat it too. Doesn't say much for her ever being a faithful wife.

This was not just an alternate ending, but a completely different story.

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In Ver 1 Matt was set up by Susan and Dan….finally figured it out…and burned them both real good.

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In this Ver Matt and Susan were the fraudsters, and Dan was the victim of it. But this time Dan still figured a way into Susan’s knickers, and in short order Susan decided to enjoy the ride…even though she kept protesting that she “really” loved Matt.

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In some respects Ver 1 satisfied more because Matt came out on top and Dan and Susan were wrecked. But Ver 2 was more realistic in terms of what might actually happen. As well, in Ver 2 Matt and Susan had kids and this element influenced actions.

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What is interesting is that in BOTH versions Matt committed a crime. And in BOTH versions Susan was involved…once with Dan entrapping him, and once on her own encouraging him. In BOTH versions Dan took full advantage…..first time teamed up with Susan to cuck Matt and entrap him, and the other time exploiting the situation to get to fuck Susan.

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Can’t decide which version I liked better….both stories were good (not great). Forced to choose….I’d pick Ver 1 where Matt executes a bigger burn.

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3 strong ***

In keeping with your premise, Matt does not find a sexy new love. The weasle Dan rebuilds his business and the whore helps him after she marries him. Because in the real world, that's what happens. The woman ALWAYs chooses the bigger dick and the richer lifestyle. Especially after she has had the family and kids.

It would have been very good with an ending. No score pending one.

Current research shows that of the 60% of marriages ending in divorce, over 70% have cheating wives. It's time we understand that women are the predators. Female lions to female spiders, the females of every species is the predator. Only humans have created the fantasy of the weaker sex, which the courts have used to make them even stronger.

When this gem hit the screen "Dan seemed surprised by Matt's response but let it pass, "I need time to think this through Matt; I'm not sure what to do for the best. Go home, don't come back in the rest of the week, I'll make a decision on Friday."

Im guessing Dan would be fucking Susan, Susan would love it and Mark would be shit outta luck.

Good writing is in short supply these days, like IQ points at a MAGA rally.

Enjoyed it but,,,finish the damn story!!

No thanks... your epilogue wrapup sounds just fine

I'm more curious about how Dan found the theft and why he was surprised when Matt said the theft was all his idea. I really expected it to go Dan and Matt's wife were already having an affair and they wanted to expand it by setting Matt up by her suggesting the theft and then Dan catching it so Matt would allow them to continue in public what they were already doing in private.

He's chapter 2 is needed

Of course their old marriage is over, destroyed, flushed down the toilet like a used condom. All Susan has to do is remain single, loving, generous, and completely selfless in trying to get Matt to fall in love with her again. It probably won't work, at least not for a Very long time. But that's Susan's only path to restitution and reconciliation. She robbed Matt of their future life together, so she must give Matt her future life and remain single and waiting for Matt to come back, or never come back. Otherwise she's just the selfish cheating whore she became for Dan. I don't really care how they end.

Thanks for the effort.

Jeez! Please note in the intro that this is one of those stories the reader has to supply an ending.

What crap why do people think they can improve on the original think up your own stories

Oh, Matt will still be there for the kids. He just won't be there for her.

Well, he might be there for her after he cools down, but that might take years. In the meantime, he'll be free terrirtory for any woman to explore.

Great re-write....Hope you do add more chapters.

Aw gush, I have this Spidey sense that if there is a sequel it is going to be RAAC., WHAT Susan did it so unforgivable she enjoyed the multiple sex with Dan so much she is contemplating of continue if not being caught by Matt she would have. I say let Susan go to Dan I mean they love each other anyway and their names in the business circle is tarnisher so I think Dan and won't probably have a good financial situation which the cheaters do deserve. And let Matt move on. But I do think Matt deserved all that happen because of his stupidity. All characters are flawed not one was likable.

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I do appreciate the effort of the author for a work well done. Personally I don't want a sequel.

I think I like Susan in this alternate version, just a wife who just strayed outside the marriage than the first version where Susan was absolutely despicably wicked in setting up her husband into trouble just to have an affair with Dan.

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Both stories were done in simple yet good writing style.

Nice work @satindesires.

This is a great story. FINISH IT!

Please finish and burn them!

I think this requires a part 2 to complete the story. What will Susan do to prove she still loves him? Or will she go back to Dan? Yep, definitely needs a part 2.

greatly disappointed with a cliffhanger ending. cheap!

It does need another chapter

Great start and highly enjoyable so far. This plot and dialogue has legs…… so keep on with further chapters.

This was looking like a 4 or 5-star story. But the ending made it 3 stars. Should have labelled up front as a multi-part story.

No,don't bother with any more.

I do agree... this need another chapter. And I like this version better than the original one.

Though I hate any forms of cheating IRL, but when it comes to stories I can stomach it, plus I don't see Susan as a complete slut who have no remorse for betraying her husband.

So I hope in the next chapter, if ever you decided to write one, could you make a two possible ending. One - where Susan will be able to convince Matt to forgive her and work on their marriage. And Matt and Dan will reconcile and hopefully save the business. Sine this is an erotica, you can either make this as a throuple. The second ending, Matt would push for the divorce and meet someone special. Then either he would learn to forgive those two and later on be friends again; or completely write them off of his life forever.

More please.

More believable and better than the 1st version but the ending was ragged and abrupt. (Inviting others to write a follow-up is a cop out. Offer a descent epilogue and then maybe suggest that readers offer a more detailed finish.

This is a really good story thus far. Please continue and give us an ending.

Way better than the other version. Please continue with chapter 2. I know how I would end it, but it would be a long road to reconciliation.

You can't stop now.

Okay, she boasts she'd give up her life for him. Let her prove it....

Need chapter 2

DOL

Carry on please.

Loved the story. 5 stars! Please continue with a chapter 2.

However the story twists, it needs another chapter. Hopefully things turn out well for Matt.

So sorry your story as an alternative version is a load of crap.

IT'S like all the other ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS OF OTHER STORIES.

FOR FUCK SAKE LEAVE OTHER PEOPLES WORK ALONE.

yes a second chapter would be fantastic so many unanswered questions thank you

Second chapter? Yes please!

not sure how Dan is the bad guy if Matt got himself into this by stealing from his company. Susan is probably a fool to love either of them

Without an ending this doesn’t deserve a score.

Thanks for the story.

A really good story - so far, but Matt was really slow on the wake-up uptake????

His wife lost all concept of reality, respect, consideration, and love for Matt!

Dan was and is a disgusting womanizer and marriage breAker who also has no respect for others, including his friends, his clients and the company!

There must be a painful divorce with a complete public expose of everything that transpired.

There also must be an alienation of affection lawsuit against Dan and the company.

No counseling or therapy for the slut whore and hopefully no alimony and minimum child support with shared child custody or kids to their father.

Then maybe Matt promoted to managing COO or CEO of the company

If not, starting his own business by retaining the lost customers and gaining new ones?

Make Dan destitute and leave town and the slut never sees him again!!!!!

Then let Matt grow some bigger balls, go to the gym, be more successful, eventually find another warm trusting and loving relationship to drive the slut crazy!

SW

I Really think it need a part 2 to finish off what is a really good story

Needs another chapter

It’s been a while and though I see quite a few others have asked for a part 2 this hasn’t happened. I was torn at first in deciding if this was better or not than the original and I am still undecided. I’d therefore add my vote to those advocating a further chapter, the end feels a bit unsatisfactory. That said good story very well written so thanks whichever we you go.

Needs a sequel.

Better than the original version. Thanks. 4*

The other version is a better story, makes more sense, and is a more exciting read. I wouldn’t bother with a chapter two on the alternate.

Although I agree with the recent Anon that the first version was more gripping, that may because I read it first. This second version is notable in that it more realistically includes children in what has been a long marriage, and instead of slightly replicating "The Signing Bonus" by Writewinger (itself a variant of the famous "An Indecent Proposal movie plot), it shows Dan asking for something more business-oriented, and lets their affair develop organically rather than as the product of devious deception on Susan's part. That it ends up in more or less the same place (both B's getting B'd) supports giving this a 5 to match that of the original. Both versions, however, do sport the detail problem of how Dan, the owner, can be 10 years younger than Matt and Susan, if Matt has been working at the company for 20 years, and Susan is 39. I notice no one has taken up satindesire's offer to write a sequel chapter to this. When I finally sign up with Lit, I won't be either.

QM

Please write another chapter. Dan could marry Susan and Matt could work for a competitor and bankrupt the lovers, and they'd live on the street. Matt could find a new mother for his kids and maybe have more... WONDERFUL STORY!

I like this version better. A sequel would do well here. Although I hope it doesn’t head into the RAAC category.

What a crappy story - She got him into the shitstorm, then she screwed around on him and now she comes out smelling like a rose after he gets cucked … total waste of time reading… does NOT belong under revenge!!!!

I feel that they should try and rebuild their lives.

I liked the other ending better, but this was good too. I wish she had gotten burned a bit more, but still a good tale.

Follow up?

Follow up

I liked this story. I think a follow up would be great.

Again thank for writing the story for all of us.

Enjoyed. Definitely a follow up.

Not nearly as good as the original version, especially with the ending missing.

might as well be a murder suicide with that cheap ending

More garbage. The writer himself is a crossdressing cuck and that's why can't think of endowing the MC with a spine.

This story needs a rewrite.

Hopefully the author will allow that..

DOL

While I didn't like it much, the story itself was well told and a complete work. Just because I didn’t like it doesn’t mean the story was bad. The original story was good read. I gave it ⭐⭐⭐. This one was a good alternate version. It just wasn’t one I enjoyed the story-line.

You have many stories that I enjoy reading. Continue to tell your tales your way. Don’t let us with bad comments obscure your vision of your stories. Own them incorporate the constructive criticism as you feel appropriate.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

dan goes to prison for misappropriation of company funds after an audit. Susan gets time for accessory. Matt marries Susan's sister and raises the kids with her.

Don't bother with a chapter 2

Do a chapter 2 where she attempted to take her life and they reconcile

in the second chapter the horrible whore should take her own life and the husband should marry her sister and live happily ever after