All Comments on 'A-Cup Angst Ch. 02'

I disagree with the other guy, I enjoyed the first part and waited impatiently for the second installment. I have only one concern, that he continues to be petulant. I hope he finds a balance between revenge and moving forward with the girls.

I like your story. You start with a generic 'highschool nerd encounters magic' but then build an interesting plot with some twists; especially due the fact that Jamie discovers his conscience he feels more like a real person. Please continue.

P.S.: The only glaring flaw is the title, I don't like it all.

Please, don't believe overly critical people. Your story IS good, could there be improvement, yes. I agree with another poster but petulant is not quite right. I felt that he went over the top in punishment. It seem to me a boy who would regret taking someone's mind would have conscience to find a better punishment. You had the thought to let your character object and rightly. Most of us can entertain MC fantasies but I do not read or stop when I detect misogyny, as it ruin the read for me. I see potential in your writing and I would like to see a conclusion to this story. I like the reveal of the crime and his thoughtfulness to not forget friends in and seek justice for it, bravo. Again, press-on finish this interesting story.

I agree with the basic premise, but modifications could be made. He should have kept Helena, had his fun with the others, maintained control but allowed them to keep their intelligence but only to ever use their magical knowledge and talent to his own benefit. As they are, their behavior is too noticable to the outside world. Remember, he only told one of them to act normally during the day. He could have simply given them the desire to be submissives to him as a Dom. That way they could have normal lives at schools, families, and careers that he as Master might have found useful in future years. And that would have alleviated the guilt about destroying other human beings. It appears that Helana actually wishes to be his companion longterm and expresses her love for him, but he needs at the end to discover if she is under his magical powere or if she is now performing an act while plotting her revenge. Just some thoughts.

You kind of didn't read the chapter till the end, there. She IS under his power, they all are. I just submitted chapter three, that I wrote alongside this one, so that should be up as soon as the powers that be approve of it. You should read it, might find it an interesting read.

Not hot at all!

I'm glad you are repositioning Jamie so that he is trying to undo the disproportionate harm that he's done. I would have stopped reading, otherwise.

Personally, I need to find at least one sympathetic major character to keep me interested.

Sorry, but I have to say that I completely hated your story. Though I do think that you are a talented writer. I just hate rape fetishes and that is all this story is, one big magical rape fetish.

Dude, I'm not sure what I think of the story line, it seems to be a typical mind control one, I won't say rape, yet. Mind control stories are about getting someone to do something they would not normally do. That being said, I caught at least 2 times the use of the word "than" instead of "then", a real buzzkill.

it is interesting that he felt such anger at Chris for raping Liv and yet he raped Helena and felt justified and proud of his actions. The main character seems to be your cliche power mad mind control character and then he suddenly discovers his conscience over mind wiping one of his witches. He seems to flip flop a lot on morality never really picking out wrong from right. I did enjoy the justice that the M.C. imposed on Chris and his two accomplices who are apparently as stupid as Chris to keep a recording to identify who perpetrated that horrible act. All rapists should be castrated and I don't mean chemically.

Statutory rape is when the “victim” is willing, but under the age of consent. What Chris did was actual rape: forcing someone to participate in sexual activities.