All Comments on 'A-Cup Angst Ch. 05'

I'm starting to get a little tired of this "dark side" of Jamie's.

He needs to come to understand that these girls are not the same ones that drained his life force for the ever-so-grand purpose of enlarging their boobs.

Personally, I'd rather do without the whole blinding-rage motif (especially the punishment and revenge thing) and just see Jamie give them the cold shoulder for a few days until he reconciles everything in his head.

But then again, that's basically how *I* would handle these kinds of situations. So Jamie's volatility (which I've considered weird throughout the whole story, despite the fact that it's simply part of his character) probably seems much more alien to me than to other readers.

Now about the never-ending hard-on he had from the whole gang rape scene:

I read that and assumed he'd magically tapped into somebody's experiences without realizing it -- but that doesn't fit with what we later learned actually happened to Arlene.

Imo, that needs to be revisited and explained somehow.

But yeah... all that said, good work.

I'm torn between rating this as 5 or 4 stars over Jamie's irrationality, so I guess I'll just wait and see how I feel about it later.

I agree, he's acting immensely childish for someone who supposedly has overcome many challenges in his life. The temper tantrums leave a sour note.

Good stuff, minus the temper-tantrums. Jamie's so smart sometimes, yet goes off in these childish fits? I never really understood the guilt he was feeling for making the girls his slaves. Like was mentioned in this chapter, he was acting purely in self defense.... so what was the problem? Even a dorky kid knows that saving their own life is an alright thing to do.

I did agree with his regret that pussy was so easily found now. For most men, the chase is half the fun. Having a bevy of beautiful women at your beck and call could get rather old after awhile, and he needs to have something that occupies his mind. A good hobby would be either computers or hunting monsters. Either one would work.

I think a big part of his problem has been things coming so easily, for the most part. It didn't take much for him to get his magic. Then it didn't take much to get his millions. Then it didn't take much to get Section off his back. It might have seemed like a lot, but all of this has happened in just 6 relatively short chapters. Less than six months, according to Jamie, to get to where he is now, and no real harrowing parts to the adventure.

Like MoL said, I thought the everlast hard-on was a result of his touching the emotions of whoever he was 'scrying' and didn't think it warranted as much time as you gave it. To go off on the self-loathing thing, again, really through me for a loop.

My thoughts for the future episodes, he needs to find another girl to conquer. She doesn't need to be enslaved, but I think he needs to spend some quality time without his slaves. This would allow him to practice his magic and have some fun. Maybe boink a big CEO just for kicks and then make them forget it all happened.

Whatever he does, I think he needs to put the slaves in the background for awhile. Most folks don't hang around each all the time, so it's no worry that things are getting rough between all of them. Have them go to school and develop lives outside the magic realm so Jamie is alone for a bit of the day/week.

I guess I messed up. His hard on was from the simple fact that he was fantasizing about Arlene, his long time object of worship, and his body has been trained for marathon sessions. There was no scrying involved. Just him sitting on his bed and imagining things and then reacting poorly to them.

Anyhow, the kids are off to college in the next chapter and Jamie's eyes are going to get all opened up with all the possibilities that lay before him, and his moods will stabilize. And no, he's not going to rape and wipe some woman, though someone else is!

I am writing an eighteen year old boy whose world got rocked and his life turned upside down, he has to have time to work out his kinks and recalibrate his concept of reality, while still trying to find his place in the world, and flying off the handle in a stupid, seemingly unconnected to anything, rage is one of the ways eighteen-year old boys cope with doing that.

I feel that him being self-assured and having a perfect perspective on things might make for a smoother read, but definitely not realistic. I prefer my protagonists to be the kind of people you just wanna smack upside the head, sometimes. Even if you love them to bits. Perfect people are not to be found in my writing.

Chapter six will be delayed until I decide just how badly Jamie loses in it. I don't wanna take everything from him, but the piper is coming and he wants to get paid. And Jamie's overconfidence generates interests!

I invite you to leave your thoughts & suggestions on it in the comments!

I definitely thought he was using his powers to search for her when he got the super erection.

Not being perfect is a great thing, but how it's illustrated can be offputting sometimes. I guess that's the hardest part about writing a story.

Very much looking forward to the next installment so we can see more of what's developing. This could conceivably go on for months, with a new adventure every week as far as I'm concerned.

Your on the mark especially the way you spelled it out in your own comment. I found myself enjoying the arcs that the characters with a choice are going through. Very fine story telling keep it up.

Lol, I'm so impatient. You got us so addicted with the close posts and now the delay! Its fine of course, just want to make sure more is coming xD. Either way, great story

Jamie is being a little bitch. Granted he's 18 which gives him leeway, which by the way drives me up the wall because I can't consider him a fully rational person, being only 18, and seeing his irrational behavior still pisses me off.

Granted most of the girls were grade-A psycho bitches, but punishing them now is like punishing a person, who after having a brain transplant, for the misdeeds of the previous brain. That's just as fucked up as what the girls were doing. It's irrational and cruel.

The girls love and protect him now. Treating them this way is defies reason.

Love the story though. One of the best I've read on here! Bravo!

I understand some of what he was feeling when he found out what they were going to do to him. But why does he go from an ideal character somebody can get behind then turn into the biggest dick.

OK yes Jamie mind controlled Helena Worth and three other magic users and I am not sure I can call mind wiping Sonya ( i think that was the one) self defense, that was pure cruelty. That being said Jamie does seems to feel actual honest contrition over his actions in changing the four girls going so for as to be physically ill when faced with his bad decisions. Why does he not contact Alice Worth after he beat her so easily at the end of chapter four? Alice wants her daughter back and will do anything or almost anything to help solve the enslavement spell problem (and maybe get one of her own ;p sorry I like m/d stuff). Even if she can't help right away it will help placate Alice, probably, and get an entire coven working on how to break a magical contact and not kill the girl. It seems to me that most of Jamie's current problems are based around his inability to think rationally when talking to powerful people. The suit could have been made into a powerful connection even sans the contracts but Jamie had to keep antagonizing the character so now every encounter in the future will be tainted by his temper tantrum cutting off a potentially fun arc, is the suit female and if yes is she hot arc will be much harder to pull off smoothly.

just my thoughts I know its years too late oh well

I agree with some of the comments. He changed one to be the perfect lover then discards her.

But I'd also like to know what section thought and especially the suit when they found out that Jamie and co had not only found the guy they were hunting but freed all the souls and got a full confession of all his misdeeds.woukd the suit change its mind about getting rid of Jamie or at least put it on hold. Also I find that him always charging in to conflicts about stupid. I think he would do more research and not always rash action. Like when he got the pump. He saw pictures of ugly women. Do after defeating the pump get info before destroying the contracts.