All Comments on 'A-Cup Angst Ch. 06'

Why would you make a chapter this big? I am certain this chapter could have been broken up into multiple parts. Who has the time to read 16 lit pages? 1 literotica page equals about 7 word pages. Anything over 6 lit pgs is asking too much commitment from your readers at one time.

of the places you could have stopped and started.

page 2: Monday marked the beginning of their college educations.

page 3: Jamie jumped awake,

page 4: The next few days

You made a very beautiful peace of art that gave some very nice hours of reading!

Couldn't stop reading! Don't let someone discourage you about the length of the chapter! Anyone who reads this story can take a break. The story doesn't run away...

Very nice turns you took with your story! I like it A LOT!

Keep writing this story please!

To respond to the anonymous: Who has the time to read 16 pages of literotica?

Well. When the story is this good and well written, any1 with a healthy libido and an appreciation for good erotica and literature.

Yes, the story was Long, and takes a while to read. But its sooo good. Now we know why this 'chapter' too so long to post, eh?

Your next one is eagerly anticipated. Take what time you need, and write it as long or short as you'd like. The people that read your work won't be turned off as long as it stays this good.

@anon who was complaining about length, you yourself can stop at anytime and come back when you wish, no matter how long it is

For those that complain about the length, I say they can take a long walk off a short pier. Personally, I wanted more. Well written, wonderful concept that actually had a plot and story beyond how many women he could screw. Even the otter fit well. I do have one question. Why didn't they just open a rift to the moon for the vampire?

I, too, feel like browbeating the Anon who opened up to such ridicule!

Just that there was a right way and a wrong way to discuss--YES, discuss!--the length with the author. Anon did it the wrong way, and comes across as a pushy, ungrateful, whiny bitch as a result.

The right way would have been, of course: "First, thank you so much for the time you put in on this story, I'm enjoying it. I was surprised when this chapter was so much longer than the rest. I had gotten used to expecting being able to read it in one sitting whenever a new chapter comes out, but I can't with this one. Would you consider breaking them up in the future just for consistency, or is there a reason you would rather do it this way? I'd be happy to discuss."

Then LEAVE A USERNAME so he can email you, if desired. Oh! Don't want to "COMMIT" that much time to this issue? Then keep your Fool Mouth shut and take what the author gives you, capisce?

Also...why has no one commented on the river otter and the lost bet? Did people actually do what the author suggested in the author's notes? How do you get people to do that?! I'm impressed.

Thank you for your lovely comments, it's always nice to be appreciated.

To answer the question about the rift spells, they take a humungous amount of power to atomize things and send their consitutent atoms elsewhere. Broadcasting through them is very cheap, power-wise. Jamie and his coven don't have that power yet. Later on, those kind of spells will be elevated up to the level of almost being plot points, but for now, they're just hints of what might come. This was supposed to be discussed later in the chapter, but I forgot to move up some dialogue about it forward when I truncated the chapter for publication. Yes, this chapter is only two thirds of the way in, so chapter seven is actually going to be coming very soon, in like a week or two, and it's going to be the rest of this chapter.

I did go overboard with the lenght, didn't I? Sorry about that. I write chapters that make sense and resolve their conflict and I don't pay all that much attention to the length. In the future, however, I doubt I'll make any chapters that are more than six lit pages long. But I might... ;-)

As for the otter... I guess the "please" worked. :-D

I just realized something:

If rifts really are a 1-way-deatomization process, then Section ought to be able to use them to deal with vampires, rather than just tiptoeing around them.

I hope you can give a good answer to that... cuz I don't actually want to poke a huge plot-hole in this wonderful story of yours :)

Here be spoilers about rifts if you don't want to wait for me to answer these questions in the following chapters. Don't expand the comment if you don't want to be spoiled on them, but I'm not revealing anything else in this comment.

I've seemingly left a gaping plot hole, which I really didn't, it's just that the protagonists don't think of these things until much later (they're teens) and then ask those questions and get the answers. However, thank you for paying attention to my scribbling and actually thinking about it, that's awesome!

Ok, it takes 19 casters (or Jamie, his ten pre-stored Jamies and eight more casters) to establish a rift spell that can atomize stuff. However, after you establish the spell, the nineteenth caster runs it and if they tried to use it against a magic wielding vamp, the vamp would simply wrest control from the caster that was wielding it and use it to atomize them. Or atomize their hands and feet and leave them crippled and alive to be consumed.

Again, I really forgot to move that dialogue and those experiments up in the chapter when I truncated it. The coven is going to get hit really hard soon and I just wanted to stop on a high note. But it does read like I really did leave a gaping plot hole, doesn't it? Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Anyhow, I was thinking, yesterday, of editing this chapter and including the dialogue, but I've since reconsidered. Jamie isn't the most level-headed individual and I'll just have him think of it later. He's going to be thinking of stuff too late as a habit, until it comes back to bite him in the butt.

As for Section, if they're not doing something, then assume there's a very good reason for it. Like not wanting their weapon turned against them. As I've hinted with the coffee shop chat with Lilah, rift spells are of limited tactical use. You could use them to breach a structure whose occupants were unaware of you coming along, but other than that... you'd better dispel it right quick!

Oh, and the rift the suicide cleaning lady made was far superior to any rift Section or the coven of protagonists will ever make. But that's something to think about until, like, chapter eleven, or so.

I was a bit sad with all the sex scenes only because they used up words I'd rather see go to the story as a whole. Getting the witchy girl into the sack was well-done and really added a good dimension to the story. I wonder just how far the team will take the "servant" role!!?? I could see her being a neat little slave girl to add to the mix with them never letting her forget that she's the servant.

Overall, two thumbs up. Good pacing, nice character development, interesting and unanticipated plot twists. Never guessed there'd be so much to this installment, so it was definitely a nice surprise. Can't wait to see the next chapter!

So those 19 casters must be needed because each one has to perform a different function, since Jamie's rings have much more than that much power. (I can't think of 19 different jobs that would be needed, but if you have, then way to go, you.)

And this "wresting control from the caster" must be a danger that is rather exclusive to rift spells, since I don't recall there being any mention of vampires having the ability to redirect active spells in general (tho an an enemy that does would make for a very interesting fight).

I seriously can't wait to read the next chapter, so get a move on, my man!!

(it is now officially the equal of "Path of the Necromancer")

A rift is a creation of its own. It is a magical construct where an event horizon is housed and stuff gets atomized. 18 casters need to cast together to make it, three for each spatial axis. Their power remains invested into the spell for as long as it's active, thus they are out of commision for the duration. Caster number nineteen then runs with the rift and gets his ass vaporized by the nearest vamp. Be patient.

As for Mara being a servant to Jamie and his gynoid and the slave girls... Did you not read my story? This started out as a cliche boy gets powers, boy gets sex slaves, boy conquers the world, sex story, but it hasn't really gone that way has it? I'll let you in on a little spoiler, Mara was sent home to her mom for Christmas break and Jamie would really prefer for her to stay the hell away from them. More on that in about ten more days when I come home and finish the next chapter!

Though, not to disappoint you too much, there will be less sex and more action in the coming chapters, and Jamie WILL be making some permanent additions to his collection. I just think that it will happen in chapter eight, cause I don't want to get any more hassling about too much length. I get enough of that from my girlfriend... ;-)

Jamie's rape of Alice just did not fit. He agonizes over having turned these women into slaves and yet he rapes Alice? Even in the context of punishing her for her actions it was the wrong thing to do. And Helena not only accepting Jamie's action but her active participation seemed completely out of character; that's her mother. Helena did not just have sex with her, she participated in her rape.

Jamie is a jerk. He is not that likable, being a hothead who regularly flies off the handle and behaves irrationally. That's ok. Having a jerk for a protagonist, or a kind of anti-hero is an interesting approach and often difficult to pull off. However there is a difference between a jerk and being an evil sadistic rapist.

You may wish to reconsider how that scene plays out

If you had a problem with the rape scene, you probably didn't read chapter five, especially the last quarter of it, in which he lets go of the feelings of guilt for having slaves. He only wants to keep their nature hidden from the world after those revelations.

Also, you might have missed the fourth chapter in which he decides he'll murder Alice someday. And the dialogue after Alice wakes up in his house. "Only" raping her is a big step towards morality for Jamie.

As for Jamie's character... He's not perfect. He's flawed. He comes from an unhappy childhood and is still searching for his own identity. I think these things make him an interesting character, if one that's interesting to hate and despise, or roll your eyes at his actions and scream the obvious solution. ;-)

I personally hate one thing about the stories in which the lead character gets harem/superpowers/whatever and that's the omniscience and infallibility that come with those, somehow. My protagonist is a flawed one and he will learn and grow as a person, he just needs more time. And suffering. Which will come to him next month, in chapters nine and ten. Chapter eight is coming next weekend!

Stay tuned!

I loved the character development you put Jaime through. His issues with the idea of a relationship with a normal girl; even though he's got so much sexual experience, since it's different from the magically forged relationships he has with the other girls.

Jamie is as evil as those he punishes.

What they did to Helena's mother was too far.

He is a rapist as bad as those he punished.

Her mother came to save her out of love and they rape her for it?

What's the old saying, be careful when hunting monsters that you do not become one.