All Comments on 'A Dinner Forgotten'

Nice feeling and ambiance. Written in the present tense, it reads somewhat like a poem. But that kind of restricts how much you can say and how much detail you can provide. Readers love detail. I would have preferred to read this in the past tense--from either woman’s point of view. In the past tense, one gets the sense that the narrator has time to recall more little things that happened and can take her time describing those things in more vivid detail, not just the sex but everything--like the fireplace. Was it in the bedroom or did they pass by it on their way to the bedroom? Take your time and describe these things. You have a good sense of mood and atmosphere. But I think you could make that atmosphere much more palpable and vivifying.