A Fall from Grace

Author's note: this story will consist of multiple installments. Some chapters might contain some subjects that some will find objectionable, such as cuckoldry, anal, and possibly violence. While this first chapter doesn't contain any of these, you are hereby warned of the nature of this series. All characters are fictional and over eighteen. Also, please feel free to comment your thoughts down below, as I would love the feedback. If after all that you're still here, welcome to my new series, A Fall from Grace.

***

Have you ever experienced what it's like to live in a living hell? Well, I have, and I'm still gazing into the deep abyss while it stares right back.

I sit in silence with nothing but the soft hum of the heater running in the background. Thoughts roam my head as the cold air buffets outside, the strong breeze ringing in my ears as it whistles by the windows. God, why is it so fucking cold? I think to myself. I try to relax, but my body only becomes heavier, the stresses of life weighing down on me. As much as I think and think, my head is still empty. Nothing but a blank slate. No matter how hard I try, I can't wrap my mind around what's happening.

I hear inaudible sounds near me, but I can't understand them. My head is in a haze, and it feels like I'm struggling to swim in a deep lake. Clenching my stomach, I double over and let my head fall onto the top of the steering wheel. I feel like I'm going to be sick. My brain fails to function while I focus on nothing but the bright street lamps outside, their golden glow illuminating the dark sky. I watch the small bugs swarm around the light, happy and content with their short lives as they curiously fly toward the gleaming luminescence only to die upon landing on it.

"Miles?"

There's the sound again. I lift my body as if I was rising out of a grave and turn to look in the direction from where it's coming, seeing nothing but a small figure in my passenger seat, someone I recognize as my so-called 'girlfriend.' I feel my face heat up as the anger in me starts to build right away.

"Miles, are you okay?"

"You're lying, Rachel," I accuse her, ignoring the question and finally speaking after what seemed to be a lifetime in my head. "You're just lying to me again."

"I'm sorry..." Rachel murmured softly, the daintiness of her voice betraying the gravity of her actions. "...But that's what really happened."

I take a second, trying to control my breathing as I let it all sink in. I stare daggers at her as I scan for any sign that it's all a joke and that she's just playing with me. She stares back, her eyes looking at everything but mine. Her hand rests on the handle of her door. I return my gaze to the light posts outside, unable to accept the truth in front of me. My voice grows stern.

"Why," I ask, the angry, low tone of my voice causing her to stiffen in her seat. "Why would you do that?" Rachel averts her eyes, playing with the fabric of her leggings. "Are you just going to sit in silence" I seeth, my last word coming out just loud enough to get her to wince. She begins shrinking into her seat. If it wasn't for my dark skin, my face would have probably been red right now.

"I don't know," Rachel quickly murmurs back, not having enough time to say anything else before I instantly cut her off again.

"What the fuck do you mean 'I don't know?'" I snarl back. "I'm just finding out that you cheated on me, and the only thing you have to say for yourself is 'I don't know?'"

"We weren't together," she snaps back, tears beginning to form in her eyes as her hand clenches the door handle now. She tries her best to control herself, but the dam begins to crack and the tears start to flow down her face one after the other.

"Yeah, we had an argument, and you broke up with me in my sleep and fucked some random guy the next morning before I could even respond," I say, the sarcasm slithering right off my tongue. "Not together, right?"

"We never had sex!" she yelled back, her voice cracking as the waterworks came in full force.

"Yeah, because making out with him until he gets hard isn't."

Silence fills the car as I glare into Rachel's tear-laden eyes, the rage in me boiling over. I stare into her eyes, wondering if she's even the same person I had fallen in love with. It was only the night before that I had gone out to a party, sparking an argument between us that ended up unresolved before I fell asleep. I didn't expect that she would cheat on me because of it. I never expected it in the first place. She's just a five-foot Korean girl with overly religious parents. On top of that, she did this at her school, a Christian university, of all places. Driving down the empty road next to us, another car breaks the silence, leaving the car filled with nothing but the sounds of her sniffling as it got farther and farther away.

"I never knew it would happen," Rachel admitted, wiping away her tears. "And even when it did happen, I had no idea how to stop it."

Even though nothing else happened, my rage only continues to build. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you look at it.

"Are you even telling the truth?" I question, my hands formed into balls so tight that I think I may break them. "You lied with Tyler, so how can I even know you're telling the truth this time? You did more."

"I didn't, okay?" Rachel says, turning her head to look at the park outside her window. Her fingers play with the door handle. "I told you everything that happened."

"Stop playing with the damn door handle, and just give me the fucking truth." I snap at her. "What else did you do?"

"I already told you everything!" she shoots back. "After what you did with Sasha, you have no right to be angry right now."

"We weren't together when that happened, and we decided that was in the past," I say coldly.

Silence takes over once more.

"Please, just give me the truth, Rachel," I stress, lowering my voice to a calm tone in a last-ditch attempt to get her to confess. "I don't care what you did. I just want the full truth."

"I told you already. That's all that happened. I promise," she responds, her hand that had been playing with the door handle finally pulling it to open the door. "It's late, I have to go."

"We haven't finished this yet," I call out, stopping her halfway out the door.

"We can finish it later," she responds flatly as she pauses for just a moment before continuing out the door. "I really have to go."

"Okay..."

Rachel closes the door behind her, walking off into the park toward the street that leads directly to her house. I watch her shuffle into the darkness, another car passing by until it leaves nothing but the sound of the quiet night and my roaming thoughts. I sit in silence, closing my eyes as I take in everything that had just happened. I rest my head on the steering wheel once more, sadness, anger, and defeat all filling my mind at once. Even with all of this happening, only one thing ran through my mind.

She's lying.

***

[That Morning.]

Pulling into an empty spot, I twist my keys in the ignition to the off position. Without taking my keys out, I sit there for a while.

What am I doing?

I look around to see an empty parking lot sparsely littered with cars here and there, the rest of campus standing tall behind it. For a Sunday, campus is virtually empty. Even with the Covid lockdown making the act of going to chapel in person virtually impossible, I still expected at least some people. Especially here, where almost everyone is conservative and could care less about what the state says.

In the next moment, a buzzing sound rings throughout the car, followed by the robotic voice of my car's Bluetooth speakers announcing, "You have one new message from Noah."

I look around my passenger seat, searching through the mess that is pens, papers, notebooks, work clothes, and whatever else I have yet to clean up as I search for my phone that I haphazardly threw into the car as I was rushing to leave the house. Finding it under my backpack, I swipe up on the screen and type in my code. I scroll past messages from my mom telling me that I needed to clean my room and be home on time for bible study, messages from my sisters telling me to get them food on the way home, and messages from my argument with Miles last night. I pause for a moment, ruminating on what happened and what I was about to do.

I'm just here to study. Nothing else. We aren't together anymore anyway.

After all he's done, I have every right to do whatever I want. How can he screw my best friend, hide it for a month, and then expect me to just accept his apology when he confesses to me? Not just that, but to have the audacity to promise me that he was telling the truth when he knew he was lying from the very start the entire time? He's full of shit. All he wants to do is go out, party, get drunk, and have sex with whatever girl he can. I don't give a damn about what he thinks anymore. He did whatever he wanted, so I'm going to do whatever the hell I want.

My phone rings out again, the Bluetooth speakers announcing once more, "You have one new message from Noah." My mind drifts to Noah and I alone in his room, not excluding the possibility of something other than 'just studying' happening. I shake my head and scroll away from Miles' messages to click on Noah's, pushing the thought to the back of my head. It doesn't matter anyway. I couldn't care less about anything anymore. Even if it's possible, we're just friends. If things went that way, I know I wouldn't let it go that far. Can't say the same, can you?

"Hey, you here?"

"The RA just left, so we need to hurry up before he gets back."

I start typing to respond, the 'blocky' sounds of the keyboard playing loudly over the speakers. I type up my message and hesitantly press the send button, suppressing all other thoughts in my head.

"just parked wya?"

"Omw I'll meet you out front"

With that, I begin to pack my bag, throwing whatever papers and pens I need next to my laptop inside before finally taking my keys out of the ignition. I grab my water bottle and get out of the car, the usual step catching me off guard as I almost fall. I curse to myself, looking around to make sure no one heard me before locking the door behind me. I'm still getting used to this big, old SUV my parents handed down to me when I got my license.

Putting a small bounce in my step, I adjust the straps of my bulky backpack that were digging into my back. Gusts of wind lash out at me, taking me by surprise as they threaten to topple my small body while I walk toward the dorms. In a rush to leave home before my mom could yell at me for no reason other than to hear her own voice, all I put on were leggings, a T-shirt, and an oversized sweater I bought off my school's website. I shiver as the chill bites at my ankles, regretting that I dressed for comfort without checking the weather app. The wind continues to fight tooth and nail to stop me from reaching the dorms, the cold air starting to seep through the thin fabric of my vans that Miles had got me last Valentine's Day. I push on.

Finally making it out of the wind, the howling of air abruptly stops and goes silent as I move into the veranda outside the main entrance. I stare up at the large building, counting the numerous windows and rooms on each floor. I could even see people moving about in their rooms with the lights on in some windows. I wonder which one is Noah's as I approach the front doors. Coming up to the handle, I tap my student ID against a keycard scanner just like Noah said and the doors swing right open as if they were making a grand entrance for me. Apparently, I would be able to get in during the day since they didn't enforce the resident policy until night.

Inside the dorm, the lobby is quiet and clean. My eyes go on a swivel as I think to myself just how nice our campus is. I was mesmerized when I first drove in until I eventually found the parking lot I parked in. Up until now, I had only come to campus to buy books from the library and go on tours with my parents. Even with some of my classes being hybrid, there was still so much of campus that I hadn't seen yet. It didn't take much longer until Noah rounded the corner from one of the adjacent hallways on the sides of the main lobby, coming just in time to catch me lost in thought.

"Hey there," Noah says, smiling confidently while moving in for a hug. I return his hug, a hint of his cologne making its way into my nostrils in the process. It smells nice.

"It's good to finally meet you," I laugh back, giving a coyish smile. He looks a lot different than I thought he would in person. All the snaps he sent over Snapchat would make you think he was your average class comedian.

"It's good to finally meet you," I laugh back, giving a coyish smile.

Turning around, Noah begins walking back in the direction he came from. "We need to hurry before the RA comes back," he motioned, signaling for me to follow him. I follow his back as he leads me through the lobby into the hallways where all the dorm rooms are. I look around, noticing all the doors are closed and no one else is strolling around.

"Where's everyone at?" I ask curiously, wondering why such a huge dormitory was practically devoid of people.

"Because of Covid and all, the dorms are only at half capacity right now, but the girls live on the other side behind us and the guys are all over here," he explained, rounding a corner and entering another hallway. "Our RA is pretty chill and barely comes out of his room, so we just gotta be careful," he adds, pointing out the RA's room on the other side of the hall. "But no one other than my teammates live down here, so we should be fine."

"Your teammates live with you?" I ask again, wondering what teammates he's talking about.

"Yeah, I'm on the soccer team, remember? The entire team stays on this floor," he clarifies, coming to a stop at a door with another keycard scanner. He whips out his card and touches it to the scanner, turning the handle to open the door. He walks inside with me right behind him.

"Wow, this is a big room," I marvel in admiration of all the space they have compared to the small room I share with one of my sisters. The room isn't huge, but it certainly isn't anything I would have imagined a dorm room to look like. I look around, taking note of his closed blinds that were making the room dark and decorations on the walls. Right away, I notice that there are two beds and two desks, but no one else in the room. "Where's your roommate?"

"Because of Covid, they made all the rooms into singles, so I'm just in here by myself," Noah answers, collapsing onto his bed. "Here, let me hit the lights for you." He grabs a remote off his nightstand next to the bed and presses a button, an array of LED lights lining the wall coming to life. "I was taking a nap before this."

"Wow, that's so cool," I gawk, staring up at the set-up of the room. From his bed, Noah smiles as he watches me.

"I know there isn't much space, but you're free to sit down anywhere you want," he says, motioning to anywhere in the room. I set my bag down at the desk that's connected to his bed and sit down in his chair.

"So what do you want to work on first?" I ask, pulling my computer out of my bag and opening my notebook. There seems to be a twinge of disappointment on his face, but it only lasts for a second before he brings out his computer as well.

"Well, I have practice in a few hours, so we should work on the scripture assignment that's due," he says, picking up a bible from his nightstand. "Plus, the scripture from last week still has me confused, so I haven't turned it in yet."

"Alright, same here," I agree, bringing the assignment up on my computer and going straight into the homework. We ask each other questions here and there, but the more we work, the more bored we get. Eventually, the breaks pile up, and we're slacking more than we're working.

"My brain is fried," Noah groans in frustration after about an hour passes. "How are you not bored yet?" He looks at me as if he was waiting for me to tell him that I'm bored too.

"Well, it's due tonight, so we have to do it," I respond, my focus split between Instagram and Tiktok but still on the one page of writing I had managed to get done.

"Come on..." he trails off, his eyes not moving from me. "...let's take a break." I stop typing, giving it some thought. "...Just for a little bit." His puppy dog eyes burn through my soul.

"Ugh, alright alright," I moan, raising my arms to the sky and stretching out my joints. "What do you want to do then?" He pauses for a moment as if he's thinking of what to say next.

"We could lay down and watch something if you want..." he suggests. "I don't have a TV in here, so we could just lay down together and watch on my phone or something." He looks at me, hesitation and doubt filling his eyes. We're just laying down I think to myself. Where's the harm?

"Okay, sure," I say, accepting his proposal. Getting up from the chair at the desk, I take off my shoes and move over to the bed. "Where do you want me to lay?" Noah sets his bible back on the nightstand and scoots over on the bed. It's a dorm bed, so there wasn't much in terms of space.

"Here, we can just share the pillow," he says, fluffing it and placing it at the top of the headboard. I climb in bed with him, and we lay down. Coming to the realization that the bed's a twin size, I realize we would be practically right up against each other. Cuddling was the only way we'd both fit. I make myself as comfortable as I can under the covers, and he scoots in behind me until we're spooning.

"It would be easier and more comfortable for you to see if you laid on my arm and I put the phone in front of us," he prompts, convincing me to lift my head and let him wrap his arm under until I was laying against his chest and his phone was above us. He pulls up YouTube and goes to his search bar, his entire search history only filled with things about soccer.

"You weren't joking about being on the soccer team," I laugh, becoming just a little more comfortable as I do.

"Yeah, I like watching games in my free time," he jokes back. "When it comes to soccer, I'm a fiend." He pulls up a random soccer game from the World Cup, and we start to watch. The more I watch, the more tired I get until I begin drifting in and out of consciousness as I doze off. Eventually, we're both sleeping.

As we sleep, it feels like time passes by fast yet slowly. Drifting in and out of sleep, a lifetime passes until I feel Noah gradually inch closer and wrap his arm around me. Half asleep and in my own world, I chalk it up to nothing and let his arm be. His hand softly rubs my sweater above my stomach, moving back and forth rhythmically. It slowly moves up to my chest, doing the same. Then, I feel him behind me, his hips starting to grind against my butt. Soon after, I can feel something rubbing against my back. I recline into my head as things are starting to go somewhere, trying to think of what to do. With things taking a turn, my mind wanders to Miles only to remember how much he hurt me. I realize that I need someone and that someone was the only person here with me in this room right now.

I remain still as Noah's hands drop down to my thighs and he begins groping near my butt. Out of fear that he may go further than I want him to, I roll over and face him, maneuvering my butt away from his hand. He kisses me, and I kiss him back. There's no going back now.

I feel the warm moistness of Noah's breath as his lips continue to move in and his free hand starts to move again, slipping under my sweater and moving up to my bra. He takes over, rolling me onto my back and getting on top of me as he begins to mash his lips into mine. I return each advance, working my lips against his as the sound of our lips smacking reverberates throughout the room. After one last kiss, he stops, pausing for a moment. I stare up at him with big round eyes, my cheeks hot.