A Fantasy about Love Pt. 05

She got up and walked around for a few moments, trying to recuperate. Sitting down again, she looked at me.

"You want to know why I changed my behavior yesterday? You sent your boss to talk to me and the threat was clear: either I would shut up or you would turn away and go to my competition. I knew that it was your move since I know you a bit by now. I had invested too much in the project and at the end, it was better to concede defeat. Then Maureen was yelling at me and forced me to re-think what I had done. I'm still mad and sad about what you've done, but my company comes first again, and I hoped that the bonus would re-establish our business relationship. So that is where I stand. I loved you so much, and you turned away and left me."

I had expected something like this, but was surprised to hear the bitterness in her voice. She must have hurt much more than I thought during these last days and weeks. I assembled my thoughts and tried to explain my position in the best way possible, not hoping, however, that she understood this.

"Eileen, I did love you, and I still do, and I did not leave you, but you placed me in a situation that was very dangerous for me, my company and specifically my boss."

She turned to me, but still with that sad look in her eyes.

"Let me explain myself. When I left for Germany to see my father, the project's progress was clear and well planned. Resources had been allocated to bring it on-line and on-time for the real work to start. Then there was that meeting where you saw Frank being infatuated with you and you wanted to see how far you could go, and Frank did not stop you. So you demanded more and more, and he promised more and more. At the end, you must have been very satisfied with yourself; you had managed to change a fair contract into one that favored totally NT, and all the obligations were on my company. You did not perceive, however, that all the goodwill that had been created between our companies was destroyed, and that Frank was exposed to ridicule by the way he conceded everything to you. We discussed internally whether I should go back to you asking for a renegotiation or new deadlines, but I decided that we would honor Frank's promises, even if they were stupid and dangerous. We worked day and night and we came in on time, but it was a close call."

She continued to look at me with that sad impression in her eyes -- she had lost something very dear to her.

"I was very angry when I called you and gave you my opinion about your behavior and how disappointed I was with you. I expected you to think about the facts and call me back with some thoughts how we could re-establish the relationship between our companies, but there was no response. I came to believe that you thought you had done well for your company; you forgot, however, that I had to protect my company also. Remember that you said that you were mine in love and passion, but that in business, you were the president of NT and would go out all the way to protect it. You forgot that under these circumstances I had the right and obligation to do the same thing for my company."

Maureen saw her mother tearing up again and moved to her side, hugging her. Eileen looked at her, and it was awful to perceive how desolate she was, but I had to finish my explanation.

"Additionally, I don't know whether you realize what you have done to Frank. He is a good man and respected for his competence. I wonder what happened, but he lost his senses completely when he was with you. He said things he should not have said, and he promised actions that he would never have promised under normal circumstances. You must have realized from the faces of our people that something strange was going on: they told me that they wanted to stop Frank, but he only looked at you and went on and on. Today, he is probably thinking about leaving the company, as his judgment was seriously impaired and everyone knows this."

She was sitting there, with a tear slowly rolling down her cheek.

"So this is how I see it, Eileen. You abused your position and the trust of a man; you insisted on going on with your position; and at the end, you started to fight with me in front of all my people, and especially my boss. I told Sir Allan that I was ready to walk, and it was up to him to try to talk some sense into you, and it apparently worked. Your generous offer at the dinner will help to re-establish the relationship between you and the people working on the project."

It was difficult for me to continue, but I had to state my position.

"For me, you disappointed me so much (and remember we had similar discussions already twice, perhaps not as serious, but it caused problems between us) that I decided to walk away from the problem you seem to have with me. You will be my mother-in-law and the grandmother of our children, but I don't want to go through all this another time. I'm very sorry, Eileen -- I loved you very much and probably still love you, but it's too much for me. Maureen decided to come with me to Sydney and this was her decision, not mine, and will stay with me. You'll always be welcome to visit us, but we will have our own family now. Once more, Eileen, I'm very sorry since it could have been such a wonderful life together, but it did not work out."

She started to cry again but nodded.

"James, you are right, but did you think at least once about me? Perhaps I had a reason? Perhaps a wrong one, but did we not state at the beginning that we would not go to sleep angry at each other? That we would always talk our problems through to find a solution? Did you consider our past and the love we had? Should that not have been sufficient to at least call me once?"

Now it was my turn to reflect briefly on her words -- she was partially right except it was too late now. Words had been spoken that were difficult to retract. I looked at Maureen, who was crying also.

"Eileen, perhaps we can save the problem in the future. At this moment, we all are still too hurt. I promise that I'll discuss this with Maureen and come back to you. Unfortunately, we'll have to catch a plane after lunch, and we'll have to leave."

Chapter 18: The Healing

I looked at Maureen, who nodded, and we got up, collected our luggage and walked slowly to the door. It was sad, not only just for her, but for us, too. She was sitting there with tears in her eyes. Then she took a deep breath and walked us to the door. I said goodbye and turned away.

"James, you used to hug me..."

"Eileen, you used to love me..."

And she fell apart. She threw herself at me, clinging as close as possible, hiding her head on my shoulder, and sobbing desperately. She shuddered as her crying escalated and her body became racked with convulsions. Her wailing became so mournful that I could feel it straight into my heart. I just held her, but there was nothing else I could do at this moment or say to make this better.

Her arms went around my neck as if she wanted to hold on forever, almost taking my breath away. She cried without stopping and practically wailed that she did not mean this to happen. She loved me and did not want me to go away believing that I could even remotely doubt that she did love me still -- I was the center of her life and she was so wrong about everything and she never ever again would do anything at all that would me make to doubt her. She would do anything at all, but please don't go away this way.

"Please tell me that you love me at least a little bit. James, I couldn't sleep all these nights and I did have nightmares that you would leave me. Please say that this is not so; please tell me that you still like me at least a little bit."

She continued to cling to me and would not let me go. Soon the crying became lower and then just a gentle sobbing. After what seemed like an eternity of holding her, she was quiet. I looked at Maureen and asked for help. She put her luggage down and came over, holding Eileen in her arms.

"Mother, we did not cause this -- you did this on your own. What did you expect us to do? Accept everything you threw at James? Do you believe that I'd not go with him? Mother, you're an adult woman and you know that you'll have to pay for whatever you do. This time you acted wrong and did nothing to correct it. You acted out of arrogant pride and what have you now? A daughter who'll walk out of your life? A son-in-law who loved you so much and you tried to hurt him? What did you expect?"

Eileen sobbed desperately and suddenly collapsed in my arms. She had fainted.

I held her still and looked at Maureen. "Let's get her into her bedroom and make her comfortable. Then we'll see what we'll do." Good common sense; I knew I could trust Maureen whatever happened.

I placed her on her bed, and we looked at each other. Eileen was still unconscious, but even so she was sobbing. This was a picture I do not want to remember. When I took my hands away, she grasped them with all force and there was no way that I could leave at this moment. I sat down beside her, and she dragged herself closer to put her head into my lap. "James, please stay at least a few minutes until I recover. I know that you have to go, but please stay just a bit."

I glanced at my watch and then at Maureen. "Please cancel our flight and leave it open for tonight. We'll see when we can leave."

I made myself a bit more comfortable on the bed, but whenever I moved, Eileen followed me with her body. Her head continued in my lap and her arms around my waist, clinging desperately and not letting me go. What could we do? Even considering her behavior in the last weeks, she was still Maureen's mother and the woman I still liked and had loved. Slowly she relaxed and the sobbing stopped; she did not let me go, however.

Maureen came back and said that there was another flight in the late afternoon and that she had made a reservation for us.

"James, what do you want to do? We can't leave at this moment -- she's my mother and I cannot abandon her at this moment. Do you want to go to Sydney, and I'll follow tomorrow?"

I tried to come up with a temporary answer but the only thing that came to my mind was a comment I remembered from my school days. It was Seneca who said that we suffer more often in imagination than in reality, and civilization is the mask we wear. Once it slips, the problem explodes.

"Maureen, she could've called me, and we would have resolved it between us, but her imagination caused her to imagine things, and her pride to keep face and not give in. This is our problem and we'll resolve it together. Perhaps you can prepare some lunch -- it seems impossible for me at this moment to leave her side."

She left and I looked at Eileen - she was almost asleep, but whenever I moved, she immediately grasped my waist to keep me close. She was a bit calmer, however.

So the afternoon went; I was staying close to her, and Maureen was reading a book at my side, probably studying..I suggested to cancel the reservation again and to try for tomorrow after lunch; she had no problem changing the tickets. It became dark and Eileen was slowly waking up. She opened her eyes and saw me sitting beside her. She started a sad, small smile and said thank you. Then she looked at her watch and startled, got up.

"You missed your plane!"

I calmed her down and told her that we would go to Sydney on Sunday afternoon.

"Stay in bed and we'll make a light dinner for you and for us. Just relax -- things will work out."

Maureen vanished to the kitchen to get us fed, and Eileen glanced at me.

"James, you don't know how sorry I am. I was so happy, and I threw it all away; how stupid of me! Can you please like me at least? Can I visit you occasionally? Is there anything at all that I can do to come back into your and Maureen's affection?"

I remembered all the wonderful and exciting moments we had had together and nodded.

"Eileen, there's nothing we can or should do at this moment. We're all confused and need time to sort out our feelings. All I can say is that I loved you very much, and while this love has not vanished, it has darkened like someone put a deep cover over it. What will happen, will happen, Eileen, and forcing the issue will not help."

She nodded and snuggled a bit closer: "Just don't leave me, James!"

Maureen came with a few sandwiches and a bottle of wine. We finished both and I got up.

"Eileen, I'll have a shower and then we'll stay in Maureen's room to sleep. Unfortunately, tomorrow I'll have to go back to Sydney."

I gave her a little kiss and she smiled wanly. Maureen bent down, too, and kissed her.

"Goodnight, Mother."

We were not terribly interested in anything at this moment, considering the problem that Eileen was going through. We showered, kissed each other good night, and slowly fell asleep.

During the night I heard some noises and looked at my watch. It was just after midnight and the noise came from our door: it sounded like somebody was knocking very lightly. I got up and opened the door and saw Eileen slowly walking away. She was dressed in a white robe that covered her completely.

"Eileen, what happened? Is something wrong?"

She turned around and smiled sadly: "I had my nightmares again, and I just wanted to know whether I could stay with you a bit, but go back to bed -- I'll see you in the morning."

"Eileen, come and stay with us. We have a little problem, but you're always welcome with us."

I took her hand and pulled her slowly into our bedroom. Maureen was awake and when I looked at her, she nodded and moved aside to her border of the bed. I led Eileen to the bed and gently pushed her down. She glanced at Maureen, then at me and asked: "May I just stay a bit to calm down? It was really bad tonight."

I took her into my arms and placed her in the middle of the bed, and lay down on the other side. Maureen smiled and pushed herself back against her mother, pushing Eileen into me. I put my arm around her shoulder and said: "Sleep now, Eileen. We keep you safe."

She relaxed visibly and snuggled a little to find the best position. "Thank you both. I do love you, whatever I've said or done. Don't forget this!"

Within a minute she was asleep, and I whispered to Maureen: "What are we going to do now? I told her in no few words that we were off to Sydney and now she is in our bed, asleep. Is everything forgotten?"

I did not know what else to say or do, so I shrugged and closed my eyes. Despite all the confusion, I was fast asleep within a few moments, too. During the night I woke up once and discovered that Eileen had taken my hand and placed it on her breast -- somehow her robe had opened enough that I held her firm breast and when I tried to take it away, she murmured something and did not let me move away. Well, a firm breast of a beautiful woman is something to cherish, and who was I to throw this moment away?

I woke up when Eileen started to move around. Suddenly she seemed to realize where she was and tried to slip out quietly. I whispered to her to stay until Maureen woke up and she snuggled back against me, and looking at me, took my hand and placed it back on her breast.

"Please leave it there, James. I missed it so much that you touched me. You don't have to do anything -- just hold me safe."

I always thought that I had strong principles and my character was firm, but at this moment all pretenses vanished; I held her closely in my arms, with her pushing her breast into my hand, and when she closed her eyes contently, I bent forward and gave her a light kiss. I saw Maureen looking at me, probably analyzing the situation as she had this ingrained decision process: get information, analyze information, consider options and make a decision. I had seen this from the first time I met her and while it could be serious and slow, but most of the times it was fast and straightforward. She looked up again and nodded.

"You did right, my love. We are family, and families have problems once in a while. As long as we talk to each other and resolve the problems, we'll always stay together and be united."

Eileen opened her eyes and looked first at me, then at Maureen.

"Am I welcome again? Am I forgiven for the stupid things I thought and did? Am I still yours, James, and am I still your Mom?"

There was that moment when two people who love each other very much seem to know what the other one thinks, and words are not necessary. We both nodded and Eileen threw herself at us, crying and smiling at the same time. Somehow her robe opened completely and fell off the bed, and there was that beautiful woman completely nude in our arms. There may be better ways to wake up, but I cannot imagine any! It was fun for a while and then Eileen offered to do breakfast.

"Am I family again? Really, James? Prove it!" and she presented her breasts to me for a kiss, which I accepted with great pleasure and she was not disappointed by the enthusiasm I showed, making certain that I had not forgotten how they felt in my mouth.

Then she kissed me and said "Thanks, James. Thank you very much." and turning to Maureen she repeated it. Then she got up and said that she would make breakfast; if we wanted to go to Sydney after lunch, we needed a solid base. And did we want French Champagne or Australian bubbly?

Maureen and I looked at each other, confused, but relieved. The situation could have gone easily out of control and the memories would have been bitter and sad. Now, whilst not completely healed, we had a chance to come back to the unity we had before.

"I believe that you better stay another day in Brisbane. I am worried about her mood swings, but let me think what we can do."

She agreed and after doing our morning getting up ceremony (and how pleasant it was), we had a shower, dressed and went to the breakfast area. Eileen had already prepared everything and was waiting for us. She looked beautiful again, wearing a long, semi-transparent slinky gown and visibly no underwear. She smiled temptingly: "I did remember your order, my master. No underwear when we're at home. Do you like it?"

I had to admit that the picture was stunning: the tall redhead, a little bit of makeup, a timid smile, and an absolutely beautiful body, full but firm, sensual, and plainly visible. On top of it, I knew that it was mine, whenever and however I wanted it, as she had said so often. But that was an issue to be resolved later as at this moment, I had another problem.

"Eileen, you look beautiful, and I like it very much. Unfortunately, I cannot explore the opportunity as I want; we have to leave soon to catch a plane."

Her face fell and her smile vanished. I walked over to her and said that 'soon' meant two hours, and that we should enjoy her breakfast first. I gave her a kiss, and she pressed herself against me.

"Could you not take a plane tomorrow morning?"

I reminded her that I had a job that that job started at 8:30 on Monday morning, and I did not have defined hours at night, but that I had to work to solve my problems and orient my people as necessary. I asked her if she always went home on time and she agreed that this happened rarely.

"Let's have breakfast and we can talk a little bit more afterwards."

Maureen was an excellent cook, but her mother was as good. The food was wonderful, assisted by a bottle of champagne she had dragged out of her well-stocked cellar. The conversation was light, and nobody touched on the issue of Maureen going with me to Sydney. Then the two ladies cleaned up and we went to the sitting room.

I had come to a conclusion, but had had no time to discuss it with Maureen; she had to trust me on this.

"Eileen, I have been watching you the last three days and you are tired -- deadly tired. You need time to relax and start again. I would like to suggest the following, and I have not discussed this with Maureen, that you should cancel all your commitments for the next week and go to a spa to recover and to relax."