A Fictional Presidency

The following story is an attempt to be irreverent, funny, erotic, sarcastic, and maybe a little bit provocative. And while it certainly could be perceived as disrespectful to some unspecified President, or that President's fictional family, or the Presidency in general, it is offered more as a humorous caricature of our funny world. Most importantly, whether your politics are red, blue, purple or some other color, I hope it tickles our common ability to laugh at ourselves. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Fictional President, Arnold Scott Stump.

Also, a special citation to Lit. writer offkilter123, for showing me a path to getting a story such as this published. Thank you offkilter123!!

Enjoy.

White House, Press Briefing Room

"No! As discussed, a million times, I will not release my tax returns until the audit is complete."

"But Mr. President, the audit has been underway for over a year now; when do you expect the audit to be complete?"

"I don't know. I am a very, very, successful businessman, with huge, really-huge assets positioned all around the world, so it must be difficult for the civil servants at the I.R.S. to track my success. It could be a really, really, long time before the audit is complete, and a really-long time before I can tell all of you exactly how big and how really, really, great my business is."

"Well then, how about Russia Mr. President? Do you accept the determination by the U.S. Intelligence agencies that Russia had an impact on the election result?"

"No, I do not accept that determination! It is totally Fake News made up by the Democrat's and their cronies, then fed to the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, and every other elite media outfit. They want to hide the fact that they lost in an incredible landslide to the People's President, Arnold S. Stump. I may love Fictor Nutin, and Fictor Nutin may love me, but I won the election because a record number of Electoral College voters chose me, and not that criminal Hillaria Clintoris."

"OK folks, one more Question from Fran Haggarty of Fox News."

"Thank you, Mr. President. I'd like to ask how you became so great, after starting from such humble beginnings' sir? I mean, the rest of us struggle so much in difficult circumstances, but you sir, you seem to thrive on challenges and find success where the rest of us would fail miserably. Can you enlighten us Mr. President?"

"Thank you, Fran, and that is a really, really, great question; maybe the best question ever asked of any President. It all started when I was only a little boy, and my father took me to the construction sites of his company. Over the course of one summer, I learned how to excavate a building, install plumbing, hang, and paste drywall, erect steel, and manage the budget of a construction project. The year after that I took over the engineering of the buildings, and the following year I negotiated the financing and discounted the invoices of the subcontractors. I'll tell you Fran, it was really tough, but by the time I was twelve, I was the smartest guy on the job, and everyone was coming to me, asking for help on how to do their job better. I don't know if it's because of my big brain, or my big hands, or some other really-big part of my body, but I was the only guy who could get things done, and it was a really-amazing beginning.

Fran, that was a really-great question, but as great as I am, I can't even fully explain why my abilities are just so totally, like really-inexplicably great. Did that help Fran?"

"Uh, certainly; absolutely clear now Mr. President. Thank you."

"This has been really fun for me today, jousting back and forth with all of you media types, but I don't think anyone will be able to ask a better question than Fran just did, so we're gonna end the press conference right here. But remember, Arnold S. Stump is on the job, and starting right now, we are going to make this country wonderful again!

"Kiley-Ann, can I please see you in the oval office immediately?"

White House, Oval Office

"Mr. President, that was such an amazing performance sir. The way you handle those animals from the press, sir, it's so humbling for me to watch you work."

"Thank you, Kiley-Ann, and I'm sure it is humbling, but you are a pretty-special little piece yourself. Come over here and sit in my big Presidential chair with me Kiley-Ann, and we can discuss how special you really are my dear."

"Oh, yes Sir, Mr. President. I get such goose bumps when I sit in the big chair with you Sir."

"Now tell me Kiley-Ann about your special titties? Tell me again how you like to play with them, and how the nipples get really, really-hard when you sit in my really-big, Presidential chair Kiley-Ann."

"Oh, Mr., my titties President are only a C- cup sir, a 34" C- cup, but they love to be played with really-rough sir, and they really-love you Sir, so my nipples get so really-hard when I think of you Sir, which I do so often. Please Mr. President, pinch my nipples Sir., pinch them really, really, hard Sir! Oooooohhhhh Mr. President Sir, that feels sooooo good Sir; oh, pinch them harder Sir, I love it sooooo much!"

"Tell me a little more Kiley-Ann; have you dressed appropriately to sit in the President's big chair today? Have you made the changes to become a good Presidential assistant that I suggested you make? Did you Kiley-Ann?"

"Oh yes, I did Mr. President, Sir. As you can see Mr. President, I have on my new 5" Louboutin heels, made of soft white leather, and with a peep toe just like you told me you like Mr. President. And I painted my toe-nails bright red, just like you told me! Don't they look so nice Mr. President? And I shaved my pussy completely bald Mr. President, just like you asked, and I'm not wearing any panties Mr. President, and I know how much you like that. Please, tell me I'm a good assistant Mr. President, please tell me how good I am."

"Well, Kiley-Ann, I do love your little hard, nippled-titties, and I'll pinch them all day long if that's what you like. And, with your beautiful new shoes, you certainly do look like a Presidential assistant. But most importantly Kiley-Ann, I need to inspect your pussy to assure you fully understand your Presidential assistant job. Take your dress off Kiley-Ann and let me grab and inspect that pussy of yours.

"Would you help with the zipper Mr. President?"

"Certainly Kiley-Ann, let's get this dress out of the way so we can get down to some really, really, important Presidential assisting. And remove the bra too Kiley-Ann. Remove everything except those very sexy Louboutin's."

"Oh Kiley-Ann, you look spectacular for an over-worked and aging assistant. You adhered to everything that your President told you Kiley-Ann, and it appears that you are beginning to understand exactly how to be a Presidential assistant. Let me twist those nipples again Kiley-Ann, to find out exactly how dedicated you are to your job. How does that feel Kiley-Ann?"

"Ooohhh Mr. President it hurts soooo much Mr. President, ooooohhhhhh!"

"You're doing fine Kiley-Ann, just a little bit longer." "Ooooooooohhhhhh Mr. President pleasssssssseeeeee."

"Ok Kiley-Ann, easy does it on your titties for now, as I know you are just learning to be a good assistant. But, let me see what progress you've made on your pussy and your dirty, little, rear hole Kiley-Ann."

"Well Mr. President, I've shaved my pussy completely bald as you requested Sir, and I gave myself an enema like you instructed, Mr. President. And this plug had been up my ass all morning Sir. I do hope it all helps with my Presidential assisting Sir."

"Kiley-Ann, the President is very happy with your assisting so far today. Hop right up on top of my big, big, Presidential desk, and lie back with your Louboutin's up by your ears so that I can better inspect your lower chamber, Kiley-Ann."

"Yes Sir Mr. President. How does it all look Sir?"

"Oh Kiley-Ann, your pussy is very smooth, which I like, and it's drenched in your juices, which I also like. Tell me Kiley-Ann, how does that plug feel in your ass right now?"

"Oh Mr. President it feels sooooo tight, but soooo good, and soooo filling Mr. President".

"How does it feel now Kiley-Ann, as I fuck you with the plug and rub your clitty a little bit?"

"Oh Mr. President, oooooohhhhh, fuck me Mr. President; uuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh. Fuck me Mr. President!"

"Or how about now Kiley-Ann? My big, big hand, is all the way inside your pussy Kiley-Ann; can you take a fist-fuck Kiley-Ann with that butt plug up your ass?"

"Oh Mr. President I'm gonna cum Mr. President; fuck me with your really-big hands Mr. President; oh Mr. President fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh fuccccccckkkkkkk meeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Arrrrraaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh, OH FUCK ME MR. PRESIDENT I'M CUMMING AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Kiley-Ann, you are becoming such a great little assistant with your slutty Louboutin's, your bald and soaking wet pussy, and your skinny little ass, crammed tight with that plug. You are becoming a real Presidential assistant Kiley-Ann. But sometimes a President faces grave challenges Kiley-Ann, and things get really, really, hard for him. How would you handle that kind of challenge Kiley-Ann?"

"Well, first Mr. President, I'd pull out my tube of Presidential oil Sir. And then I'd help you lower your trousers and underwear Mr. President. And then I'd take the oil and anoint your big, hard, problem Sir. Just like this, Sir. Does that big, hard, problem seem to be getting any better Mr. President?"

"Oh, you are so good at handling hard problems Kiley-Ann. That's it, keep working that problem up and down Kiley-Ann, nice and slow. That's it Kiley-Ann, up and down, and up and down, and up and down, make that hard problem go away Kiley-Ann. Do it for the American people! Oh, Kiley-Ann, the problem's almost gone Kiley-Ann there it goes, there it goes now Kiley-Ann. Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh...."

Knock - Knock; "Mr. President, we have an international emergency sir. Your presence is requested immediately in the situation room Sir."

"Ok, ok, your President needs a minute to finish up his important business, I'll be right there. Quick Kiley-Ann, clean me off and then get dressed, I've got a situation to handle. But before you leave, put the plug in my middle drawer for me to enjoy later this evening while I'm working out my digits on Twitter."

White House, Situation Room

"All right fellows, what's the big emergency that required the President to rush on down to the situation room?"

"Mr. President, our intelligence officials have located a North Korean factory currently producing almost ten million dollars per day in extremely high-quality counterfeit U.S. ten-, twenty-, and one-hundred-dollar notes, sir. Shall we send out some drones and smart bomb their ass sir?"

"No, No, No, absolutely no bombing, General. I am a great negotiator, remember? We need to keep this factory, and its purpose, completely top secret until I can formulate a plan on how we can obtain the hard proof and evidence of this diabolical North Korean attack."

"Well, how shall I direct the Military to proceed sir?"

"No response from the Military at this time General. But this must remain TOP SECRET information. However, I respond, I want it to be a very big surprise to ole Kong Jong Jun. I will assign my top special advisor, Jarhead Crashner, to formulate a special task force to devise a plan to assure the North Koreans get punished for this brazen attempt to collapse our economy. At ease, gentlemen, that will be all!"

"Thank you, Mr. President."

White House, Oval office

"Jarhead, this is the President."

"Yes, my father in-law, what can I do for you?"

"First off, stop calling me father in-law, I'm the fucking President for God's sake." And secondly, I want you to call that Chink dictator in North Korea and offer him a deal. Tell ole Kong Jong what's-his-name, that we found his money factory in Pyongyang, and from this day forward we get 75% of production to his 25%. Tell him we'll arrange pickup of the cash through some sort of development deal with my boys as bag men."

"But Mr. President, he's not going to be very happy about those terms sir."

"You are right about that Sonny-Boy, but that's the special art of this deal. Tell him his other option is an armada of B-55's to rain a hurricane of exploding steel on his fucking-factory and just maybe the whole shittin' country for all I give a damn. Let me know when we can start picking up the money."

"Yes Sir, father in-law, er, I mean Mr. President."

"Hey, by the way, where's Ireena? We're gonna need to launder all of this Korean money and I can't think of a better place to dump it than on those Chinese, mother-fuckers. I want her to get started on an upgrade to that shoe factory in Beijing right away."

"She told me she was going upstairs to your residence to meet with her sister Macy."

White House - Executive Residence

"Macy, Ireena, are you here?"

"Yes daddy, we're in the entertainment salon, doing some entertaining."

"Entertaining? Who the hell are you entertaining up here? Oh wow!"

"We're entertaining each other you silly Mr. President. Uh-oh Macy, by the looks of things, I think we are entertaining Daddy a little bit too. He's got a very Presidential bump in the front."

"Girls, I thought I told you no sex games in the White House. If this gets leaked out, they'll think my little crack about grabbing a pussy was a child's Sunday-school game".

"But Daddy, I caught Macy flirting with one of the White House interns. She actually flashed him her pussy, so I had to tie her up and punish her. I thought if I sat on her face for a couple of orgasms while she was tied to the sofa, that might help her see the error of her ways."

"Well, that's good thinking by you Ireena, but I'm not sure that munching on your beautiful pussy will be punishment enough for this little hussy. Macy, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Oh daddy, he was so cute, and I was so horny, and you never pay attention to me. I need to cum soooo badly Daddy."

"You need to cum, do you? Well, you keep eating your sister's pussy, while I go get my cat of nine tails. I'll make you cum you little slut, but it will be after some real punishment."

"Oh Macy, eat my pussy baby, keep licking my clit and my asshole, while I spank your pussy baby. Let's get you warmed up for Daddy."

"Oh, please Reeny, spank me, and make my clitty hurt please."

"I'll keep spanking your little pussy girl, but you keep eating mine while I grind myself on your face, Mace. I want you to make me cum before Daddy comes back and takes the whip to you. You won't pay any attention to me once Daddy starts putting stripes on your white-skin. Put your tongue up my ass Mace, stick it in and lick it, that's it, keep licking me baby I'm so close, fuck me with that perfect Stump tongue you slut. Oh, keep it up Macy! I'm gonna cum, oh baby I'm cumming Macy, I'm cummmminnnnngggggg baby, I'm sooooo theeeeeeerrrrrree!!!"

"Oh, that was so hot girls. Your Daddy, just loves watching you play fuck-fuck, and I hope that tongue up your ass Ireena, felt as good for you, as it felt for me to watch."

"Oh, Daddy it was just so really, really, wonderful. Nobody licks ass better than Macy! She has a huge Stumpy tongue. You should really try it, Daddy."

"All in due time my sweet piece of ass Ireena. Right now though, little Miss. Macy has a date with the whip, don't you Macy?"

"Yes Daddy, but you know that cat makes me cum like a crazy girl, so we better be careful with all of this new furniture." Smack Smack, Smack. "Oh Daddy, that feels so good on my ass Daddy, smack me again harder, please Daddy." Thwack, Thwack, Thwack. "Oh, fuck Daddy, whip my ass Daddy, please Daddy, make me cum Daddy."

"Ireena, come over here and play with your sister's pussy, while I drop my pants and jerk-off on her face."

"Oh, that's it Reeny, put two fingers in her pussy and two up her ass. In and out, in and out, nice and easy. Now, let's see if we can make her cum right along with me."

"Oh Daddy, please tug on your dick faster Daddy, I can't make it much longer."

"Ok, I'm cumming now girls, I'm cumming right now on your face Macy. Oh, fuck I'm cumming right on your pretty, blonde, face Macy."

"I'm cumming too Daddy, oh fuck me Reeny, fuck meeeeeee, I'm cummmmmminnnnggggg too Daddy!!!"

"Oh my, girls, that was soooo fucking-really, really, good, and exactly how your Daddy loves family time in his big, new, white house. But I've got to get ready for an evening call with the President of Mexico. Ireena, please untie Macy, share that cum on her face, and get this place cleaned up. Millionnia will be here tonight, and I don't want her to throw another hissy fit over our quality family time."

White House, Oval office

"Pinal Niceto, Sir, como esta, mi amigo? Senior Banal and El Presidente Stump here."

"El Presidente, so good to hear from you. Everything is excellent down here in Mexico Sir, but for the shit that you've stirred up with that fucking wall, Arnold."

"Well, Pinal, I didn't really want to build any fucking-wall, mi amigo, but those mother-fuckers down south went so crazy every time I suggested the idea, I just had to keep talking about it until I got to the White House. Surprised nearly everyone, including myself, but now I have to do something about it. You got any good ideas, mi amigo?"

"I've got a mucho-grande idea El Presidente. Let's hold some kind of bullshit summit meeting down here on the border, maybe Juarez, Nogales, or maybe even Tijuana, but definitely on the Mexican side. We'll get a bunch of young senioritas in bikini and heels, hang out by the pool, maybe golf for a couple of days, then at the end we'll announce a mutual cooperation agreement. You Gringos can announce the start of construction on your fucking-wall, and I'll announce that we have agreed to extend NAFTA for the next one hundred years. Perfect for both of us mi amigo."

"A great plan Pinal, but why in hell would I agree to extend that fuckin' NAFTA deal another hundred years?"

"Well, El Presidente Sir, I thought you'd prefer that, as opposed to sharing the proceeds from that fucking-North Korean money factory you just found. I know you don't want to explain that to your fake-news media."

"Money factory, what money factory Pinal?"

"Oh, El Presidente, you under-estimate your Mexican neighbor, Sir. We Mexicans have been sneakin' around, hustling pesos, and making deals for hundreds of years mi amigo, and we too have learned a thing or two about the art of the deal, El Presidente."

"You are one shrewd Mother-fucker, Pinal, but I like a man with balls, and I like the plan. I'll get Banal here to work with your people on the dates, then you can round up all those slutty senioritas, and we'll have ourselves the biggest and best damn summit ever. Adios mi amigo."

"Si, adios to you also, El Presidente."

"Money factory, what money factory is he talking about sir?"

"Don't you worry about no money factory Banal. I've got Jarhead sorting through that problem as we speak, but damn that fucker Niceto really got me by the balls on that one. But our plan stays the same. You work out the details for the Mexican fuck-fest, and keep up your oppressive bullshit with the chinks, the blacks, and the Muslims. Jarhead and I will work out the North Korean cash... er, I mean problem. The whole key to making this country wonderful again is to shower the people with cash and keep them all feeling flush and safe. Anything we do after that is just bullshit."

"I Understand Mr. President, thank you Sir."

"OK Banal, time for you to go. I see Millionnia's chopper setting down and I got some special Presidential plans for that lady tonight."