All Comments on 'A Flower in the Ash'

Hi readers!

I had some commentary I wanted to add to this story, but I didn't want to clutter up the actual story so I'm adding it here.

I've been trying some new things lately with my writing! One of the changes I'm trying that I think had a big impact on this story is that I'm trying not to let the pace of the story bog down with expositional interludes (e.g. paragraphs describing a character). I think I did an okay job setting up the story by just fitting descriptions in among sentences actually dealing with story events, but there's still a lot I didn't explain. Because of this, I wrote up a short Q&A with some of the stuff I didn't cover as well as I wanted, in hopes that it will assist frustrated readers who want to know more, or give people an opportunity to hold me accountable on places where I failed to make something clear.

the doc is here: https://gist.github.com/mongolsamurai/dc059c86a77f5c4d490f274609e2bb12

Another thing I've been playing with recently is trying to write prose like I write software; to wit, by having a strategy going in, before it turns into pure tactics. This felt pretty successful here. It really helped me stay on track, not get bogged down in endless fussy rewrites, and actually identify when I was done. I thought I'd include the strategy I laid out for myself for this story for anyone who wants to see it.

it's here: https://gist.github.com/mongolsamurai/49fa45ccad427a20032df342a120ff55

As usual constructive criticism, feedback, questions, etc. are welcome. I'm also interested in any comments etc. regarding the two documents I linked above.

Thanks for reading!

I have enjoyed this story very much. I like the scenario of Angels and Demons come to earth, the cruel 'fascist' state, and the ideals of freedom, including sexual freedom, which Leora now espouses. Well done!