A Full Countess

“They are the red troops, soldiers if you care to call them that, who have been released from the units to the east. They come from various units, so they will not likely notice the addition of two more to their number. They are trying to make their way to Petrograd, which is home to many of them. Act as though you are part of them. Valery!” Leon instructed Valentina, careful to call her by the name of her masculine cover.

Leon’s opinion of the red soldiers was not high, and it showed in his remarks. His demeanor changed, however, as he posed as one of them. He struck up a conversation with a bearded fellow in uniform standing nearby. In his brief exchange, he let it be known that he and his fellow had been separated from their unit, and when they attempted to rejoin it, found it had been sent back to the west. Perhaps, if they could find their way to somewhere near Petrograd, they might rejoin their regiment.

“Or, perhaps, find a better place than that of a soldier, and go where you will not be found!” his newfound friend responded. “I became a revolutionary full of ideals, but all I find is filth and no pay and bad food! What has this army done for me? What has the czar done for me?” He turned and spit.

“A pox on all of them!” His expression reflected the frustration and disillusionment so common in that day.

Little by little, they wrangled their way into the confidence of the motley group. Even as they waited, a few more came in. They saw one officer, who seemed, a bit unwillingly, to take charge. He barked a few orders, but then retired to a bench where he drank generously from a bottle carried in his tattered bag.

Leon did not let this go unnoticed. To Valery, quietly, he muttered, “That is our undoubted and dubious leader. That men should have to follow such into war!” He shook his head in disgust.

After a bit the officer aroused himself a bit. From somewhere he produced a notebook and some assorted papers. He began loudly calling names. Soldiers, standing about in various states of uniform and equipment, began to respond.

After a time he finished calling names. A couple of men went up to him, not having been called. Carefully he wrote their names in his book, then waved them off. Another showed up a bit later.

“Come, Valery, it is best we insure that we are enrolled!” Leon and Valery approached the officer. He looked at them with a raised eyebrow, then asked, “You were not called? Where are you from - name and unit!”

Leon quickly and calmly responded. “Leon Boronov - private, eighth hussars - from Petrograd. We were dismissed a day ago!”

“Who dismissed you? Have you orders?” the officer inquired. Leon produced a crumpled piece of paper, as they had planned, bearing an official looking stamp but almost unreadable because the ink had run from dampness.

The officer looked at it, then shrugged. “Two of you?” he asked.

“Yes”, Valery answered. “I am Valery Constantin, same unit. I am from….”

The officer stopped her. He wrote something in his notebook. “All right, you are on the orders. Wait with the others.”

Thanks be for sloppy paperwork and alcoholic officers, Valery thought, having passed her first official test. She was accepted as part of the army. It is good, she thought, that this was not the Czar’s army, where there were good records and disciplined officers.

In the distance they heard a train approaching. Some of the soldiers who had been asleep, were aroused. Some stood, looking down the tracks. The train became visible, slowly and noisily pulling into the village as it slowed to a stop.

Several armed soldiers stepped off the train. The half-drunken officer spoke to them a bit, in what seemed to be little short of an argument. The soldiers from the train looked over the assembled group of uniformed men. One by one, they motioned them toward a car a bit to the rear. Each man received a careful bit of scrutiny.

Valery almost shivered as the eyes of two armed men fell upon her. They seemed to notice nothing amiss, and she moved with the others to the rear. A box car stood with an open door, and the group of thirty odd men clambered into it. The officer took a last swig from his container of courage, and climbed up to the car, stumbled back, and then was helped aboard by several men.

The train started up. It seemed never to generate much speed, but it shook and rattled greatly. The door remained open. The men, for the most part, sat on the floor or laid down, often falling asleep. The cool air was refreshing. There was little talk. One of the men started singing a bawdy ballad. Valery, remembering the counsel she had been given, joined in. The singing man nodded approval, and continued.

A few of the soldiers had small quantities of food in their packs or bags, and some began to eat. The officer fell asleep. Boredom prevailed.

One soldier stood at the day, opened his pants, and urinated out the door. A bit later another did the same. Then there was quiet.

Several times the train made short stops. At one point it stopped near a building, probably once a farmhouse, smoldering in ruins from some recent military action. A few fruit trees could be seen, and a scattering of potatoes and beets from what had been a storage shed. Several men quickly jumped from the car, picking up what they could and bringing them back to the car.

Leon took a potato. “Raw, cold potato. Is this what we get for lunch? Does an army win a war on this?”

Finally, late in the afternoon, the train stopped for a longer time. Soldiers of the train guard came back and conferred with the officer, who ordered the men off the car. After a bit of negotiation, several men were sent to a nearby building, coming back with large baskets of bread and a few sausages. The officer gave one order that seemed to receive instant obedience. “Fill your canteens - every man!” he indicated a water pump nearby.

“How are you doing?” Leon quietly asked Valery in a whisper.

“Feeling like I’m about to burst! But I will manage until dark - this has been such a long day!” she responded, her discomfort showing in a bit of agitation.

Several soldiers stood at a nearby wall and relieved themselves, Leon among them. Returning from this errand, he glanced at Valery. Though she was showing signs of distress, she was bravely gulping from her canteen before refilling it.

They reboarded the train just as it again began moving. Men shared out the bread and sausage and began to eat their crude rations.

Darkness fell. Valery eagerly watched it, knowing it portended an opportunity for her to relieve herself, as she forced martyrdom on her badly distended bladder, awaiting the next stop. She had not long to wait.

The train again stopped, only an open field before them. A number of men jumped off, and began to walk about. Several stood and urinated. One began to squat in an effort to obtain another form of relief.

Valery came closer to him, but stopped several feet away. In the dim light, it was hard to see his features. She judged he was too occupied to pay much attention to her. She unfastened her own pants and dropped them appropriately. Glancing about for security, she released a profuse stream. The squatting soldier seemed to give her no thought. She was glad, her relief wonderfully welcome. She finished, drew up her pants, and returned to Leon.

“Did it!” she said, with just a note of pride.

They returned to the car. A few of the soldiers had cigarettes, and were smoking. One had a pocket with three cigars. Looking at Valery, he told her, “trophies of the last town we took - czarist mayor had a supply of vodka and cigars. Good vodka, terrible cigars. You smoke cigars? You can have one of these!”

“Thanks”, Valery replied, accepting the long black cigar and placing it in her pocket. “Perhaps for my friend, later!”

“Won’t be a friend long, if he breathes in those - but, take it. I carried them long enough!”

He laid down on the floor and rolled over into a comfortable position.

Most of men fell asleep on the rough floor. Valery, along with them, was soon fast asleep.

Chapter 6

Dawn came, too early for some, too late for Valery. She awoke, feeling the fullness of her bladder. It was now daylight, too late for her to relieve herself, she realized in horror.

Men munched on the residue of bread and the fruit they had scavenged. Soon the train ground to a halt, then began shifting forward and back, as several cars were detached. Men clambered off the car to stretch their legs.

Valery, fearful of staying too close to Leon, lest suspicion be aroused, wandered afield just a bit, seeking some place for relief. She saw two soldiers, squatting in the grass, relieving themselves. Their pants were down, their private parts partially displayed.

Desperate for some way to relief herself, she made a comment about the “effect of those stinking sausages”, and squatted near a bush. With great care, she worked her pants down to her knees. No one seemed to be paying close attention. Struck with a bit of inspiration born of great desperation, she reached into her pocket for the cigar she had received the night before. She held it in her hand as she worked down her underwear.

She saw a soldier approaching her. Her heart lept in anxiety as she realized how close she was to discovery. With a quick gesture, as though adjusting her underwear or wiping herself, she took the cigar and pushed the end of it inside her. She stayed squatting, releasing nothing, but making an expression of strain.

The man looked down at her. Her heart almost stopped, as she squeezed the cigar end mightily, hoping it would not slip. In the poor light and shadow of her lowered trousers, perhaps - just perhaps, he might assume it was a penis. He muttered something about taking one’s pleasures as they came, with a crude reference to defecation, and moved on. Without moving the cigar, she released her bladder. Her stream poured out, over the cigar, her hand, but, fortunately, little on her clothing. Finally she finished. Dropping her imitation penis to the ground, she mashed it into the soil. She stood, adjusted her clothes, ready for the day.

Valery returned to the car while the train was still stopped. Getting out a metal mirror, a razor, and abit of water from her canteen, she began to shave, making sure the men about watched her.

“Fastidious, aren’t we?” murmured a grizzled onlooker. “Looking for a bit of female flesh to get close to?”

“Hate the beard”, she answered, continuing her shaving. “Gets bugs, crumbs and juice- I just like it better trimmed. Now, if there are women around --” she slipped him a sly smile.

The day drew on. She wondered how close they were to Petrograd. It was hard to judge the geography, for most of the place names she saw were unfamiliar. A ration of bread and a bit of meat was provided in the afternoon. As night approached, she looked to the opportunity of relieving her bladder again. She was able to slip into the dark and obtain her relief, just a bit after nightfall.

Relieved and relaxed, she stretched out on the floor to try to sleep.

Chapter 7

She awakened to a violent motion of the train and a loud explosion.

The soldiers, startled, began looking out of the car door. Lights were moving about in the darkness. Several shots were fired. The train seemed to have come to a complete halt, although the sound of the locomotive could be heard.

Ahead of them there seemed to be great shouting and much excitement.

Suddenly a light was shined into the door of their car.

“In here!” an unseen voice shouted from outside. A bullet went crashing through the open door into the roof of the car. Two of the soldiers inside instinctively reached for their rifles. The officer, awakened with a start, drew his sidearm.

A blinding light was directed into the car. “Put down the guns - out with all of you!” The voice was authoritarian. A soldier inside started to aim his gun at the light. Instantly a shot rang out, fired at close range. The soldier fell back, dropping his weapon.

The officer called to the unseen persons outside. “Who are you? We are..” he never got to finish. A uniformed man from outside grabbed him by the leg and toppled him from the car.

Confusion reigned for only a few moments. The ragtag men in the car quickly put down their weapons, such as they had, and began to come to the door. Outside, armed men came into view. The occupants of the car were quickly pulled from the door and pushed to a place at the side. Now the light showed more men, armed and uniformed, all around. They pointed their weapons at those leaving the car and gestured them to move from the train.

Leon caught just a glimpse of the identity of the men they faced. The mark of the imperial double eagle showed on the cap of a man who appeared to be in some authority.

Quickly Leon found Valery. In a whisper, he told her, “We are in luck - imperialist troops - the White Army! Somehow they’ve ambushed the train!”

“Luck?” Valery countered, considering the prospect. “They think we’re reds - suppose they shoot us?”

“We must find a way to make known our identity - right now we must wait and see!”

Valery recalled the great lengths they had gone to in order to remove all possible evidence of her real identity, even her femininity. There was nothing on her or with her that would evidence that she was other than a revolutionary soldier. If only she had salvaged some bit of her former self, some paper, some emblem, something! But with great care they had eliminated absolutely everything!

The men from the train were quickly disarmed. White Army soldiers looked them over in the glare of the light for signs of weapons or ammunition. Disarmed, they were herded into a group. Soon the group was marched away for a distance, and told to sit on he ground. Their captors guarded them with care. They waited.

They sat and waited until dawn. Soldiers moved to and fro, careful to keep the captives together and in view. From snatches of conversation, it seemed their captors were not sure what to do with them.

From the train, now some distance away, the heard a great explosion, and could see a fire following.

“Blew up the train. That will block the tracks for a while!” Leon noted.

A contingent of White soldiers appeared and ordered the captives to get up. They were formed into a single file, and marched toward an unseen destination.

After a time, they arrived at a small building, damaged and decaying, which appeared to have been a barn. They were ordered inside. Guards were posted. They waited.

After a time, one of the captive men got up and went to a wall to urinate. A guard quickly stopped him. “No - you do not do that in here. You will be taken out to where you can relieve yourselves. Wait until then!”

They waited, perhaps half an hour. Then guards came, and choosing ten men at random, escorted them from the barn. The ten were taken to a ditch, perhaps fifty yards away. They were lined up at the side of the ditch.

“You may relieve yourselves here. But be quick!” they were ordered. Men obeyed, urinating into the ditch.

A second group was taken. Leon was chosen this time. Having seen the return of the first group, he knew what was being done, and was not fearful. Valery, though, sat in terror of what would happen with her.

Her time came. The third group, with Valery in the fourth place, was taken to the ditch. The guards, bored with this duty, lined the men up and ordered them to relieve themselves. The men did so.

Valery stood unmoving. She did not know what to do. This time there was no cigar for a trick, no opportunity to squat in darkness, no cover. She was about to be discovered.

A guard called to Valery, instructing her to comply with his order. She stood, immovable. He repeated the order, firmly.

She started to open her pants. She reached inside and undid her underwear. She dropped the rough pants, then stepped out of them. Quickly she dropped the underpants. She turned full face to one of the guards, her pubic area with its dark patch of hair and very obvious female features, was exposed. With all the dignity she could muster in this situation, she boldly announced, “I am not a Red soldier! I am the Countess Valentina Norosova, cousin of the Czar and wife to a colonel of your army! You must help me!”

The soldier guard stared in almost disbelief. The other two guards took in the spectacle in shock.

One quickly replied to her. “What have we here? A woman, a camp follower? A Countess?” He laughed a bit. “You are about as much of a Countess as I am Ivan the Terrible!” Then, to his comrades, he asked, “What shall we do with this one? This is quite a find!”

Brazenly, Valentina continued what she had started. She stripped off her shirt, revealing the binder over her breasts. Gripping it quickly, she ripped it from her body, determined to remove all doubt of her gender. Then, in a moment of desperation and realizing why she was out there at all, she sank down to a squat, and began to urinate toward the ditch, as her captors and fellow captives both stared in utter disbelief.

“Here, woman, you come with us!” the senior soldier told her. The others led the male captives back to the barn.

Valentina picked up her clothes in one hand, as the soldier led her roughly by the other. He pointedly gazed at her nude body, missing nothing. “Look we we have!” he cheerily called to his fellows as he led her away.

She was immediately the object of stares from every soldier around. Her guard spun her around, displaying her body for all to see. He led her past a group of men to a small building. Rudely he pushed her inside.

An officer standing inside stood wide-eyed as the captive was brought in. Saluting the officer, the soldier reported “Sir! We found this woman among the prisoners. She was dressed as one of them. Says she’s a Countess!”

The officer leaned back against a wall, contemplating this remarkable find. “Where are you clothes, Countess?” he asked her, a bit mockingly. “Or is that what you have in youir hand? Why do you find yourself in this state of disarray?”

Valentina attempted to tell her story. It was fairly obvious the officer was not paying much attention. His fascination was with her body, not her words.

“Well, ‘Countess‘, just what proof can you offer of what you say?” he asked her. She shrugged. “I have none, sir! I ask you to believe me - why else would I have disguised myself as a man in that army of rascals, hiding my sex from them as I traveled? Look at me - I have forgone everything feminine - my hair is cut, my bust was bound, my body unwashed , all my clothing that of a man!”

“Your hair has been cut, but I see that it is plentiful elsewhere”, he observed, staring at her prominent pubic bush. “Your bust in neither bound nor covered, now, and from the smell of you, you have gone unwashed quite a while! You look little like a countess- more like a woman looking for a ruble or two from any soldier that will pay!” He sneered a bit, looking her over in detail.

She pleaded, but he was not listening. To a sergeant nearby, he ordered “Take her away, let her put her clothes on, but keep her from the other prisoners. Oh, a jolly time they’d have with her if they heard this story! Keep our own men away from her, too, till we decide her future!”

She was escorted to a place outside, under a tree. While several men watched, she was allowed to dress herself, after which she was ordered to sit beside the tree under guard of three men.

She was there only a couple of hours. The entire detachment was formed up, and began to march down a road. It was evident that their assignment had been the destruction of the train and the rail line, and having done this, they were leaving the area, taking with them their limited equipment and their prisoners.