All Comments on 'A Gift in Disguise Ch. 11'

the story is dragging. losing interest. too much emphasis on the penis project. Loss of focus on the gift, which was the interesting catch in the beginning. It is a chore to read, and honestly, I just gave up.

Love these longer more detailed story chapters.

This story is remarkably written

It's very good please continue writing it and ignore what others think

The good news....The story so far has, for the most part, been well written and fairly imaginative, interesting technically with good character development. But the dialogue.... A rule of thumb that was always hammered into us in school was; any dialogue over ten seconds of reading time needs to be broken up, even with something in the narrative mentioning the speaking character getting up and stretching, or a facial expression or anything. In this story, it's a constant, unending and unfortunately, boring procession of soliloquies. On top of that, the detail is quite often repeating, redundant and at times not terribly relevant to the story, especially the addition and long descriptions of yet more characters that aren't relevant to the plot. It's easy to say, "well that's just my style". It's also easy for the reader to say, "well, this is a monumental waist of my time, one star." Please, keep working with it and try to take this as constructive criticism.