A Girl Named Mitch Ch. 02

"Sure." I crossed the room and sat on her bed, grabbing the blanket we usually used and spreading it out, holding her side open. Mitch snuggled in, putting her arm around me as she pulled up the DVD menu. I leaned against her shoulder, loving the feel of being close to her again.

"Mmm. I missed this."

Mitch gave me a squeeze. "Me too. You remember where we were?"

"Oh, yeah. I know right where we were." I slipped my arm around her waist, something I'd never done before, but it felt so perfect. Friends did this, right? I looked up at Mitch, to see if it was bothering her, but she just smiled at me, those perfect blue eyes dancing a bit.

"Okay, then here we go." She hit play.

***

The first few weeks of school went great. I felt like I was back home, eating in the cafeteria, working out at the athletic center, going to classes again. And the classes were better, smaller, and with real chances to interact with my professors now that I'd gotten past the freshman weed-out classes. And Mitch was done with math, so she was a happy camper, academically at least, again.

We went to a few parties; there were always a few good ones right after everyone got back from break, but there was something about Mitch that was different. She always left alone, usually with me. Maybe she wasn't sure about bringing someone to the room.

We were getting ready for a night out. "Hey, you know, if you want to have someone over, I'd be okay with it. You just have to let me know."

"Hang a tie on the doorknob, you mean?"

"I mean, you just, um, you haven't gone out with anyone since we got back." Why did saying that make me feel vaguely sick to my stomach?

"Just haven't met anyone I'm interested in. You haven't either, y'know."

I waved my hand. "No, no, I told you, I'm taking the year off from boyfriends."

"That doesn't mean you can't hook up."

"It does for me. I don't do hookups." I finished putting in my earrings, fake diamonds. "Y'know, Sherri was asking about you."

Mitch smirked at me. "Sherri from downstairs?"

"Yeah, she's in 215. She was asking if you were seeing anyone."

"What did you tell her?"

"No one that I know of. So, what do you think? Gonna ask her out?" I tried to keep the fear out of my voice.

"Sherri?" Mitch shook her head. "She's nice, I guess, but I don't think I'm interested." I had to hold in my exhale. I hadn't realized it, but I'd been nervous about telling her. I mean, I didn't want to lose her to a relationship. Carrie had gotten herself a new boyfriend a few weeks ago, and we hadn't seen much of her since. Mitch didn't think it would last, but still.

But at the same time I wanted her to be happy. I definitely didn't have the highest E.Q. in the world, but something told me Mitch wasn't really happy. Don't get me wrong, she was still sassy and bombastic and a lot of fun, but there was something off. I'd asked Carrie and some of our other friends about it, but they all said they hadn't noticed anything. I couldn't shake the feeling, though.

***

I was being chased. Running through the streets of my hometown, but the buildings were strange, wrong. They were bigger, like the ones here on campus.

It was night, and I couldn't see, but whatever was chasing me was getting closer. I could hear it breathing. I was so scared. I ran. There was an alley to my left, and I turned into it. I could feel their footsteps echoing between the buildings. I dove into a small room, pulling the door shut. There was no way out, and something was pounding on the door. The room got smaller; they were going to get in. I tried to scream for help, but no sound would come.

I heard my name, someone calling for me, looking for me. Oh, God, please find me. The door cracked open, and a hand reached in, inhumanly long fingers, the fear bone deep in my soul.

"Cindy!"

Help, oh god oh god help me please! I cowered into the corner, closing my eyes and curling into a ball. Something touched me, and I screamed, my voice finally finding purchase in my throat. I kicked and lashed out. Something was on top of me and I pushed it aside as I opened my eyes.

"Cindy! Cindy, wake up."

I was in my room, in my bed. Mitch was kneeling next to me, her hand on my shoulder, eyes wide with concern. I scrambled into a sitting position, my heart still hammering away in my chest.

"Are you okay?"

I started to cry, the emotions tearing through me. Mitch pulled me into a hug, and I clung to her, weeping on her shoulder as the adrenaline started to leave my system.

Mitch held me gently to her, stroking my hair as my body shook. "It's okay, I've got you. You're safe, shh."

I let myself rest in her strength for a second, her soft voice running like cool water over my nerves. My breathing slowly returned to normal and I pulled away, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "I'm sorry."

Mitch's fingers ran through my hair, which was wet with sweat. "Were you having a nightmare?"

I nodded, sniffling once. "I get them sometimes, really bad ones."

Mitch's eyes were concerned. "God, you're soaked."

I pulled on my pajama top, which peeled away from my skin. I could feel the moisture on my back, too. A hand testing my pillow and sheets told me they were also uncomfortably wet. I made an unhappy little noise, bending down to the floor and picking up the covers I'd kicked off in my panic.

"Okay, you want to change?"

I nodded. Mitch stood and helped me to my shaky feet. I went to my dresser and pulled out a fresh set of sleepwear, a loose pink top and shorts. As I changed I took a moment to towel off, while Mitch was doing something next to me.

"You don't have another set of sheets, do you? 'Cause these need to be washed."

I shook my head. We got new, clean sheets once a week on Fridays, which was several days away. I could take them down and wash them myself tomorrow, of course. Nothing like an evening in the laundry room. At least I could study there. Tonight was going to be uncomfortable though. And it was barely midnight.

When I finished changing and turned back around Mitch had pulled the linens off, setting them in a pile at the foot of my bed.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Sleep with me." My mouth dropped open, and Mitch grinned and held up a hand. "I mean, in my bed. I'll even sleep on the floor if you want."

I blushed and looked down. "I should be the one sleeping on the floor."

"Huh-uh. You've had a bad enough night already."

"I'd feel bad."

"Do you want me to sleep up there with you?"

"Kinda, yeah." I swallowed heavily, feeling my cheeks heat up. A vague memory of falling asleep in her arms after the infamous kiss swam to the front of my mind. "Would you just, um, hold me tonight?" Tears stung my eyes. "So the nightmares don't come back?"

Mitch nodded. She looked scared, but I had no idea why. Shouldn't I be the one scared? And I was. But I was afraid of falling asleep again without her arms around me. I knew, instinctively, I guess, that I'd be safe there. There'd be no nightmares. I gave her a pleading look. I couldn't tell what her face said, even though I knew it was speaking volumes. Mitch nodded, sitting down on her bed and pulling back the covers. She slid under them, scooting as far back toward the wall as she could.

She held open the covers, and a tear ran down my cheek as I joined her. I turned my back toward her, and she situated the sheet and blanket around us. Our legs touched under the covers, and her palm rested on my waist. I could feel the warmth of her breath on my neck.

"You okay, Cindy?"

Was I okay? God, this felt so good. Yeah, I was okay. I reached up and put my hand on hers, pulling her arm around me. I pressed myself back against her. Her arm slipped under my head and I rested in her warmth. "Yeah. I'm good." It was amazingly easy to fall asleep.

I woke still there, wrapped in her arms, and it was the most wonderful feeling. I glanced over at my digital clock. It was still twenty minutes till I had to get up for class, and I wasn't going to move from this spot until I had to.

I ran my finger over her arm, which was draped softly over my waist. She stirred, her hand sliding up and holding my shoulder. She pulled me back against her, sighing softly into my neck, which sent a delicious shiver down my body. I'd been right, there were no more nightmares, and I felt rested. My mind told me I should be confused or scared, but I just wasn't.

Unfortunately the numbers on my clock kept changing, and eventually I had to slip away to the showers and class. Mitch was generally adamant about no classes before ten, so she had some time, and I tried not to wake her.

She was still asleep when I headed out to class, but when I finished my nine o'clock there was a text.

Mitch -- Hey, how you doing?

Me - I'm good. Slept good. After, at least.

Mitch -- Awesome. See you at the gym tonight?

Me -- Yeah. Thanks for last night, for being there.

Mitch -- Always.

The day passed as normally as possible, and if I had any anxiety about strangeness when I was with Mitch again, it evaporated as soon as I saw her bright smile. When we got back to the room I noticed my bed was made.

"Did you...?"

"Yeah, I kind of washed your sheets."

I looked at her, touched. "You're kind of awesome, you know that?" She started to say something, but I cut her off with a hug. "But I do need to get some work done."

"Okay. I'll leave you to it."

We looked at each other, and for a passing moment I thought she was going to kiss me. And I wasn't sure I'd stop her. But the moment passed, and I pulled away.

I hit the books while Mitch went down to the lobby to watch a baseball game, mostly to get out of my hair, I think. She came back up to the room just before eleven.

"You still working?"

"Do you ever do homework?" She laughed and sat down on her bed. I rubbed my eyes and closed my laptop. It was late, and I was tired. "Are you going to bed?"

"Yeah, I think so." Mitch flopped down. "You?"

I nodded, standing up and stretching. "I'm gonna change and head down to the bathroom."

I slipped on my pajamas, the same pair as last night, and headed down to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I got back to the room I was fighting back a yawn. I really was tired. I opened the door and stepped inside, putting my toiletry basket in its spot on my dresser. I looked at my bed. It was made, all nice and neat, and with clean sheets, thanks to Mitch. That was so sweet.

Mitch was already under her covers. I looked at her, then back at my bed. I needed to just lie down. But last night had been so nice. And I didn't want another nightmare, and they tended to come in groups. I just stood there for what felt like an eternity, looking back and forth from bed to bed, and I felt so confused and scared.

Then, Mitch looked up at me and just raised her covers in invitation. The confusion in my mind vanished, and I crossed the room and climbed in next to her. My anxiety just vanished as she put her arm around me. This was perfect.

***

I stood in the shower the next morning, just letting the water run over my body. Last night had been the best night's sleep I'd had in months, maybe longer. But I wasn't going to sleep with Mitch, um, I mean, sleep in MItch's bed tonight, though. I could sleep in my own bed, and I really didn't want Mitch getting the wrong idea. Not that she hadn't been the perfect gentlewoman, but she always was around me.

I had a hard time concentrating on class today, which was not like me. I'd always been good at compartmentalizing my life. School, tennis, family, church, they had always been their own little circles, but now in college everything seemed to run together. Even in a huge place like Georgia, college was a microcosm of life.

And my life was getting complicated. I needed some distance, and that started by sleeping in my own bed tonight. Luckily I had a study group after dinner. When I got back to the dorm Mitch was in the common room, watching football with a bunch of other people.

"Hey? Join?" She motioned to the pseudo empty spot next to her.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I got some stuff I gotta do."

"Okay. Oh, come on! That's a hold!"

One of the guys laughed. "He only tackled him. Big deal!"

I took the opportunity to slip to the stairwell door, but I glanced back at Mitch as I went through. She looked back over her shoulder just at that moment and smiled at me. I felt my heart do a little flip, and I couldn't help but smile back.

I was able to get an hour or two done on my Money and Banking reading, and I was finally starting to flag when the door opened and Mitch came in.

"Hey, Cindy."

"Hey, you have fun?"

She walked up behind me. "More than you." She picked up my textbook. "Geez, this is dense."

"Hey, I like Econ." She set it back down, and I turned back to it for a moment before I felt surprisingly gentle hands on my shoulders, rubbing softly. I couldn't help letting go a sigh and leaning back. "Mmm, that's nice."

"You're tense. Rough day?"

"Just stuff on my mind."

"Like what?"

I looked up and smiled at her. God, she has beautiful eyes. "It's nothing. I'm just tired."

"Okay. You coming to bed?"

Everything I'd been arguing with myself came to a head in a moment. No, I was sleeping in my own, less confusing bed tonight. I had to. I opened my mouth to say so. "Yeah. I'll be there in a minute."

Her smile just melted me, and twenty minutes later I was in her arms, and my heart sighed in happiness. This was so nice. I put my arm over hers and relaxed into sleep.

I had a similar argument with myself every night for the next week, my internal protestations getting weaker and weaker with each passing day. And each night I looked more and more forward to sliding under the covers and into Mitch's arms. After a fortnight I'd stopped fighting it.

It was Sunday, a lazy morning. Normally I had to get up way before Mitch did, and even on Saturday I was always up first. But Sundays were different. I just lay there, feeling her arms around me.

She stirred behind me and pulled me tighter. "Good morning."

"Morning." I ran my fingers absentmindedly over the soft skin of her arm. "So, do you hate that I keep hogging your blankets every night?"

She nuzzled into my hair, which sent a deliciously pleasant shiver down my body. I had to stifle an audible sigh. "Yeah, it's horrible, having someone who keeps me warm."

I turned around. It was incredibly intimate, our faces inches away from each other, legs touching under the covers, my arm on her waist, but it didn't feel awkward at all. In fact, it was the most natural thing in the world.

"But wouldn't you like, um, someone, who'd, you know," I started to blush, "keep you warmer?"

"You mean someone to have sex with?" The heat in my cheeks doubled in intensity, which made Mitch smile. "That'd be nice, but I don't think all three of us would fit."

I giggled. "Stop it. You know what I mean."

She kept her smile, but I thought her eyes looked sad. "Don't worry about it. I'm just wondering how you're going to get any sleep when I'm gone next weekend."

I felt a pang at the remembrance. Her cousin was getting married in Jacksonville on Saturday, and she was heading down to meet her parents there for the weekend.

***

"So she's going to be gone all weekend?" Carrie set down with her grilled chicken sandwich.

"Yeah. A wedding. I reckon she's aiming to find a curious bridesmaid to defile." It was weird. We used to joke about such things all the time, but now just saying it made me feel bad.

Carrie gave me a funny look. "I don't really think that's something you have to worry about."

"Pfft, I'm not worried. Why would I be worried? She can sleep with anyone she wants." And I'd have to sleep alone. I hated that idea. But I couldn't say that to Carrie. I hadn't confided in anyone regarding our recent unconventional sleeping arrangements. And, mind-blowingly, Mitch had been the soul of discretion.

Carrie's strange look hadn't gone away, and I decided to push a little. Maybe Carrie'd noticed something I hadn't. "It is weird, though. She doesn't seem to be going out as much this semester. And I don't think she's been gone overnight once since we got back."

"She's spending a lot of time with you, though."

"Well, yeah, she's my roommate, and my best friend. Why would that..." realization broke over me. "She is not interested in me like that! Besides, she's knows I'm not gay."

"Right, 'cause no lesbian has ever fallen in love with her straight best friend."

"In love?" My head swam for a second. Mitch, in love with me? A vision of her holding me in bed while kissing the back of my neck appeared in my head, me turning in her arms, us pressing our lips together. That same shiver passed through me, this time lingering in my, well, my somewhere. You can use your imagination.

Carrie's face got serious. "Just be careful. I don't want one of you to hurt the other."

I nodded. I didn't want to hurt Mitch. God, she was the most important person in my life, and that thought stayed with me all through my afternoon classes and study time. What if Carrie was right, and Mitch was in love with me? Or, at least, if she had feelings for me? Was I the reason she hadn't been out with anyone. And I'd pushed it, sleeping in her bed every night. God, that was so stupid. What had I been thinking?

But the thought of her with another woman made me hurt inside. I knew our intimacy wouldn't survive either of us being really with someone. For the first time in a while I hesitated before climbing into bed with my friend. It was Thursday night, and Mitch would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I told myself one last night here, and that I was going to enjoy it.

On Friday night Carrie tried to get me to go out, but I refused. I ended up watching movies in my room alone until early in the morning. I woke up the next day in Mitch's bed, holding one of her shirts. I barely remembered grabbing it. What was going on with me? This is my decision. I would sleep in my own bed from now on. And I had to remind both Mitch and myself what I was.

It didn't take much to find out where the parties were on Saturday night. I was going to go, I was going to dance, I was going to find a guy I was actually attracted to. I might even hook up.

I worked out with Carrie as usual, and we went out and hit some. I told her about my plans for the night like they were no big deal, trying to convince myself more than her I think. She said she wanted to go with me, but she had a date tonight. That was fine. I wasn't sure I could do this with an audience.

When I made it back to my room I pulled out my tightest pair of jeans with a white, spaghetti strap halter top that I only owned because I'd promised my parents I'd never wear it without an over shirt. It showed both a bit of midriff and some cleavage, and it would do.

I took time with my makeup, trying to be a little more daring while pushing the voice of my mother, which insisted on slut shaming me, to the back of my head. One foot in front of the other, and found myself walking up the steps into the frat house, where the lights and music pulsed out into the night.

I went straight to the drinks and grabbed a red cup, which I filled from the keg myself. I felt really vulnerable, being here by myself, and I remembered seeing a thing online that warned people to never take a drink from a stranger. Everyone here was a stranger, so I was going to hold on to this cup all night if I had to.

I scoped out the scene. There were plenty of guys, and one of them was looking at me from across the room. I felt like I wanted to shrink into the wall. Apparently he got the hint, because he didn't approach me, and I made my way around the house. The dancing was going on out back on a huge back patio, where lights had been strung up all over the place. To be honest it was more than a little tacky, but then again, few people would accuse the average frat boy of being an expert decorator.