All Comments on 'A Girl's Night Out'

Very clever. I did not see the ending coming at all. Being able to surprise a reader (being unpredictable) is an awesome strength for a writer. I enjoyed the story and felt the characters were fleshed out. I feel like the story was missing something that would have elevated it from the 4 stars I gave it to 5 stars, but for the life of me can't put my finger on anything specific. Perhaps to get the highest rating it needed a little more complexity? Not sure, but it was only 2 pages, although I prefer a short story like this anyway. So, I can't quite figure why I was left wanting something more. I was totally fine w/ the unresolved issues of the supporting characters and didn't think the main character needed more of an ending, so that wasn't it.

5* That's lovely; beautifully written. I did hope it would pan out as it did (it was the mention of her not putting the photos on the desk that gave me the clue) BUT even with that, you racked up the tension very effectively until that last reveal. Superb. Thank you for posting it.

Very nice. Thanks. 5*

Enjoyable story. Can't put my finger in what it was but, it was pretty obvious who Jeanne was dancing with.

Interesting wrinkle that her friends watching her make what they assumed was a mistake then began to reflect on their own marriages and mistakes.

Very well done. Thank u for sharing

Nice story, but you set the stage for the introduction of the husband a little too early.

I had an inkling about the ending and raced through hoping…

5* from me.

I Loved this. Great twist. You had me asking why after her

revelation of the love she had for her husband. 😉

Great story. I loved the twist at the end. Thank you.

Cute story, but I have one worry:

"The men were pre-screened ..." So was her hubby a member of this club? Are they secret swingers? JK, she probably told him where they were going and the two of them prearranged everything - right?

Fun read and well written.

Beautiful!,

Where are the tags ? No good.

Thanks for sharing...

Nice:) 4*

A great story, you built the suspense wonderfully.

Had a feeling it was her husband but then thought “why was he there”? So is there no trust and he had to check up on her?

Truly outstanding! I think maybe what JoeBetterBNice is missing is more of this author's excellent writing. I know after having read an engrossing book that completely captivates me I am sometimes left with an empty feeling that there aren't any more pages to turn, so, I also feel a sort of disappointment that I can't just continue reading the story on and on. 5 stars.

Very nice! Beautiful story of a good wife! 5.

Definitely didn't see that one coming. Great writing, very erotic.

AWESOME simply AWESOME. i hoped that was going to be how this GNO was going to end THANK YOU

A story about some stupid bitches and a really smart one! Not sure how they had no idea what her husband looked like, but still pretty good.

A very rare example of a very good tale expressing the real meaning of "Loving wives". This should remind that this category is not for only cuck tales and there are many other ways to go. Like this one. A short masterpiece. 5 stars !

Awesome! You had me fooled. Keep writing.

I had a feeling it was her husband even though the writer tried hard to falsely lead the reader into thinking Jeannie finally met the man she's going to cheat with. But to me what gave the false flag away was the writer was describing Jeannie's love for her dance partner not lust -- the only one she can fantasize like that was the man she loved.

/

Good twist though.

I truly enjoyed the unique ending.

Thanks Lyon_796

You got me....great story. 5*

Thanx!

Loklie

Well done. Great story.

Thanks! Good story!

Your surprising ending had me thinking that maybe there are a few faithful spouses still out there.

Then, I remembered that what I just read was fiction.

Was a interesting twist but I figured it was her husband good story.

4 stars - for a decent story with a twist at the end.

However, the conversations between the women really left me with a quandary - are today's young woman really this shallow and vainglorious? If that is the case held by the majority, then why would any woman or man tie themselves down to a marriage with children? It kind of defeats the whole purpose of marriage. Granted that the birthrate in North America is currently at an all time low. It is just a sad thought, as I really enjoy my grandchildren now.

Great twist! It allows the reader’s imagination to go to difficult places. Then, boom! It wraps up with everything packaged nicely together.

Good story. The introspection at the table between the friends while Jeanne was dancing was my favorite part.

Always nice drop a genuine loving wife tale amongst all less tasteful stuff.

Even if Jeanne is a genuine unicorn

Entertaining. Thanks.

I really don't know why anyone would think it's ok for girls night out to be at a high end meat market.

Was pretty see through. Specially when you mentioned her not having pictures at work yet. Still a decent story.

I was getting more and more worried that she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life….Then, surprise! Very well done. Thank you. 5*

I guessed it was her husband early on because she was VERY happy with her marriage and VERY clear thinking about what she wanted out of life and a roll in the hay wasn't one of her goals. The story was still enjoyable and refreshing.

Nice twist!

5

Very tight story. Well done! 5*

I loved this story, especially the twist at the end. Well done! 5 stars.

I loved it. Gave it 5-stars. But I was not surprised by the twist at the end. The author telegraphed its ending by the description of her fantasy while they danced. Still, it was a good story.

Beautiful. I almost thought she had fallen. I apologize. 10 stars, the Bear loves it. One of my favorites. 'Nuff said.

The BEAR

If only women like Jeanne really existed in Western society. Passport Bros just change the name from fictional Jeanne to the real Mei Ling or Tsurumi or…

Well written. Nice, but expected twist. However, this category is not “Romance”, and it would have deserved a five star rating if posted there. Gave it four stars anyway because it was a good story and well edited.

I REALLY loved this--and, unlike some commenters, I'd argue that it fits perfectly into the Loving Wives category. On the surface, it's a cute story--you take a classic trope and flip it on its head. On a broader level, though, you do a really nice job of constructing an argument for monogamy. Jeanne's defense of fidelity was probably the most eloquent take on that to appear on the site, and one of the few that was not tinged with despair, given that those soliloquys usually appear AFTER a betrayal. Similarly, the other characters' discussion of their own failings gave this a nice Greek chorus of loss, which underpinned the unhappiness that underlies so much infidelity.

/

Thanks for the great story!

Fun read but very predictable. 4.2*

Disappointing, but well written. I’m biased against trick endings

She surely knows her tolerance for alcohol, so why doesn't she watch her consumption

\

@Regguy, not REALLY pre-screened, just that it wasn't the sort of place that "ordinary" guys woud be going to.

\

NOT a good twist.

There wasn't no dialog to the story, it sounded like a cheating wife story,she was losing control from the drinking, like most women do when there half dipsy,and half drunk. Theresa's no action to the story, just playmaker. You may consider spicing up the story, and change the dialog to a more sexy story,that cheating women would do when they go bars, and drinking astablished events,lose control and have sex with the guy then regret it when they come to there husband, there is always the telltale signs of cheating, clothes wrinkled,and don't look the same as when you left the house lipstick smeared, hair disheveled clothes wrinked,the wife dress straps are loosened,checking the laundry basket for wet pantys,her carrying her shoes in her hand, stocking wrinkled, if she wore stocking, maybe panyhose stretched out and maybe torn or with a hole in them, her shoes unstrapped,her carrying them inside the door,these are telltale signs of cheating and their are more, I know I'm a detective that took pictures of cheating housewives and office workers, usually going to social company events and the wives have a little fun and get tipsy or drunk, and petting leads to sex, I know my ex wife was caught by friends of mine, and neighbors, you can't trust 80 percent of the wives, especially when they feel a big bulge in the strangers pants, wives lose self controll especially when drinking, and give into their desires to be fucked by someone who appeals to them, it could be white guy or a black man, today it's the big black cock on black men that make the cheating wife stray, they know they just have try a cock bigger then their husband's and lose control, when they see a big cock or want a bigger cock, their change the women's way of thinking, and their cravings take over their and they just have to feel a big, or bigger, white or black bigger then their husband. That's, now 70 percent of the time with married women now.

A nice alternative to the cheating whore stories. Thanks for that.

Saw this coming half way down page 2, pleasent read none the less....

Lofted from center court! Swooosh! Nothing but net at the buzzer! 100/100!

-

Where this story induced frisson was you showed Jeanne falling into lust, which was totally alien to her character, and then you cut away as the other characters roiled away in their own misery. We wondered, worried, and mused about Jeanne, but you hid her until she came forth, already 95% fallen into the man's bed. We hated Jeanne, we railed against your merciless storyline, and then... the aforementioned coup de main!

-

Grammarly is a powerful tool, though you've got to 'dismiss' a lot when writing dialogue, but it leaves a manuscript polished, clean, and well-written. That shows in your wonderful story. A new favorite author, too!

-

Thanks for sharing this. I'm with Da Bear... 10 stars.

great new writer with imagination!

I look forward to reading more from you

Great story, even better wife.

Wow, great. I already thought there will be a delightful twist. Just wonderful. Easy 5*

Very good. Nice twist at the end. I'll have to check out your page. I don't often give out a 5, but this deserves it.

Earned my. 5 star glad I read it. But agree it is lovely romance

yes, nice tale but saw that coming like a freight train,,

She would be one in a miillion, most are like her mates who wonder where it all went wrong a couple of years later. If the grass stays thick and green there is no need for extra seeding, it means it is already fed properly. There is a definate difference between a middle of the day cuppa and a night out without your partner. It always ends up with hooking up with a member of the opposite sex even for a short time if either of you feel that is ok without your besty then you need to look at your marriage and try to workout why it has started going downhill and why you are lying to you partner and yourself.

Delightful story.

Enjoyable. Kinda predictable but 5 star writing.

Absolutely predictable and corny.

SO boring. You can write for the lady's Lifeline channel. G-rated or PG story.......a waste of my time. zzzzzzzzzzzz

This was unexpected, I sure didn't expect that ending. Great story. Every man should have such a wife. 5*

Great story.

I am so thankful that the story turned out that way.

Loved your story and the twist . To the anon from a day or two ago who made the comment “ your surprising ending had me thinking there is a few faithful spouses still out there “ that would have been hilarious if it wasn’t so true - loved the story and the comment

58 Comments in 2 days - well deserved. Nice story with an unexpected twist. Keep it up.

SBrooksx103 LOVES to nitpick, but he sure won't write anything NEW and open his flawless, perfectly plotted, and sharply written (cough! cough!) work up to the same (unrealistic) critique. That's the textbook definition of Has Been.

Well played. I did see it coming but deftly presented nonetheless.

Nailed it :)

Could see the twist coming - but sweet 5 ⭐️.

To Anonnymous, 11 minutes ago: Your comments are SO BORING! Reading them was a waste of my time1 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

An excellent story with a twist, and perhaps some role play.

...."She would give herself to him and she would live her fantasy."

Keep writing and Thank You.

@sbrooks103x

She surely knows her tolerance for alcohol, so why doesn't she watch her consumption - Why should she her husband is there!

NOT a good twist. - I don't see how anyone could think this is NOT a good twist. Unless ... the nitpicking is so thin that this is all that is left.

Yes! the author lied about writing an LW story!

But it was a good Faux LW. So I gave it a 4* rating because the author let me read it

Delightful and so well written!!

Great story. It had me fooled!

I loved it. A nice, cheerful, feel-good story. I was on to you though, knew it was her husband right away. 5 stars.

Super! 5*********

Excellent!! 5 stars....quality through and through.

I loved this... the twist at the end was nicely done, and the overall story was well-written.

5 ***** from here.

I enjoyed it. Now that was a proper Loving Wives story. The wife went home or the motel WITH her husband.

The ending was pretty obvious. Glad it went that way though.

I thought it was a great story and I just knew that had to be her husband, which I am very happy he was. The only thing I think would have been good was if Alice would have jump up and tried to stop Jeanne from cheating then found out that was really Jeanne's husband.

5 stars from Xluckylee

Yeah, gotta give it 5...

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars!

Definitely a story to save.

Surprise ending, loved it. Although I started to suspect it. Thanks for your writing.

A great story, well written.

I was surprised by the ending.

Great story, but no ending.

Grateful that this had the misdirection and didn't go where it looked like. Still, she's got some friends that she *really* shouldn't be going out to clubs with.

Thanks for as pleasant and uplifting read!

What a nice twist at the end.

Too too predictable.

It was/is a good tale. The only, complaint? , I had was when she began to imagine what was to transpire against what was transpiring, thus killing the mood. It not only became a mood killer, it also telegraphed what was apparently a dream sequence and made quite clear it was a ruse.

Damn, Jeanne sounds like the perfect wife. So intelligent and mature in her decisions and way of thinking. And very loyal. Plus sexy and willing in the bedroom. What's not to love?

Q: What do you call a Girls' Night Out where all the girls are faithful, loving wives/girlfriends? A: Non-existent. *ba-dum tsh*

Fantastic writing and I truly loved the scenario of how Jeanne finished with introducing her husband to the others.

Great story. Nice twist. Jeanne is lovely inside and out. Huzzah!

I did not see that coming.

5 stars on a great story from GW . What a great ending