A Good Girl Goes Bad

Anyway, that's probably enough about my clothes and my sex life and all that jazz. Let me tell you a bit more about this black man who'd caught my eye. I said 'hi' to him and he said 'hi' back and at that point I walked over to perch on the edge of the garden table near where he was stood. We were a meter or two from each other and I could make him out a bit more clearly in the evening light. He was not the kind of deep ebony black that you get in say a sub-Saharan gentleman. He was more the sort of milk chocolate colour that is seen in the northern African countries. When he spoke however it was very much with a British accent.

'I'm Rachael,' I said. My voice wasn't quite my own. For some reason I was breathless. Well, I suppose he was absolutely gorgeous. I guess it was understandable really.

'Jason,' he replied, and he lifted a hand in a sort of acknowledgement of our greeting.

Jason had the most handsome face. His head was shaved and he had those high cheekbones going on and big dark eyes that you could lose yourself in. There was a moment's pause between us. I'm not sure I'd gathered sufficient composure to start making intelligible conversation yet. As I said, I have a liking for black men, especially big muscly ones. Jason certainly fell into that category.

We got chatting and I found out a bit more about him. It turned out he was an in-house solicitor for the firm that Colin's Dad worked for. I was surprised to hear this. Jason didn't look like a man of law. He looked somehow too rebellious or something. But perhaps this was prejudice on my part. Perhaps I didn't associate a black man with a job like that - you know, something professional and well paid. It was a slightly disquieting thought because I liked to think of myself as an open-minded and modern individual. Yet I was self-aware enough to realise that it was entirely possible I could have inherited society's prejudices when it came to non-white ethnic groups. Anyway, I was impressed. The fact that Jason had some smarts made him all the more intriguing.

Regarding his job Jason told me that because he ran the company's legal department he got to manage his own department. On the down side, his department consisted of basically just him and one assistant but on the plus side, everybody wanted to befriend him. It seemed the company's employees all thought they might one day need to be bailed out by him or something. That was a curious thing. What were they all up to I wondered? However, this did explain why Jason was invited to the party - clearly, Colin's Dad was trying to ingratiate himself.

After Jason had told me briefly about himself he turned the conversation over to me. And that was when it all started to go wrong.

'So you're the darling daughter-in-law to be?' he said.

I was stunned. It was too much. I'd come outside to escape this rubbish. I could take it from the likes of Shirley and Aunt Camellia but it was so much worse coming from this handsome stranger.

'I'm Colin's girlfriend, if that's what you mean,' I answered stiffly.

Jason raised his eyebrows. He'd clearly detected the rather pointed tone of my response.

'Are you annoyed?'

I sighed, somewhat exasperated. There was no way I would be able to properly explain how I was feeling to this guy. How it could be extremely irritating hearing how everybody assumed you were going to get married and settle down like a good little girl. How I was perpetually annoyed at myself for not having the capacity to live a more free-spirited and irresponsible life. How my relationship with the very sensible and mild-mannered Colin was a constant reminder of this lack of adventurousness I feared. How deep down I knew that part of the reason why I was upset at the idea of marriage with Colin was because it seemed to sound the death knell over any opportunity I had to do something irresponsible or reckless in my life.

And what did it matter anyway - just because Jason was good looking? Why did I care what he thought of me? I was only talking to some random stranger. I evaded the issue.

'I'm just tired,' I said and I looked away into the evening sky. The sun was setting but it was still plenty light enough. In fact it was a beautiful summer's night with the smell of honeysuckle on the breeze. Oranges, reds and purples were spread across the horizon. But I had an unpleasant feeling Jason was about to ruin the scene. I could hear him laughing.

'You're a good girl,' he said and I found his tone patronising. 'I think you're going to make such a cute little couple.'

There must have been a look of utter fury in my eyes when I glared at him then. Not that it bothered Jason though. He laughed again. Then he gave a surprisingly accurate impression of my Aunt Camellia.

'So, tell me poppet, when is the big day?'

I realised he was just teasing me in a light-hearted sort of way but it didn't help my sense of aggravation with the whole evening. In any case, I didn't feel very light-hearted about it all.

'Why is everybody so convinced I'm about to get married?' I complained.

'I reckon it's because you seem like the type,' said Jason. 'And although I've never met Simon's son I can tell that he'd be the type as well.'

'Well maybe I'm not the type,' I said.

'Oh, come on,' said Jason. 'You obviously are.'

This was infuriating. He was getting right to the heart of what was so disturbing about the whole evening. I just didn't want to seem like that type of girl. I didn't want to be the good little girl who behaved herself and settled down with a sensible young man and got married and started a family and who most probably voted for the Tories and enjoyed gardening and flower arranging and sewing and went to the local parish council meetings and shit like that. Just for once in my life I wanted someone to think I was more like my friend Sammy - wild-at-heart, untroubled and youthful. Hearing all these comments about my impending betrothal was making me feel old. I was only 23 for fuck's sake.

Unhelpfully, Jason seemed to feel the need to expand upon his point.

'You're just a very sensible, good and responsible girl,' he said.

'I'm not,' I snapped.

'And there's nothing wrong with that,' he said.

But there was something wrong with that and I told Jason as much. At least there was something wrong with that for me. It just wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't ready for it. There were things I needed to do.

'I bet you've never done anything bad in your life,' said Jason.

It was excruciating the way he knew how to reach my pressure points. It was like having a conversation with the devil.

'What makes you say that?' I challenged. 'What if I have?'

'Not anything big anyway,' he continued.

'What does it matter anyway?' I snapped.

'It doesn't,' he replied offhandedly. 'It's just an observation.'

'Well, I have anyway.'

Jason's face showed such a look of disdainful amusement that he didn't have to tell me he'd seen through my lie. I was beginning to get upset now. For some reason - I wasn't quite sure why - I was experiencing a desperate need to somehow prove to this man that he was wrong about me.

'I bet you've done lots of bad things,' I retorted, deciding to go on the counter attack. Jason shrugged.

'Perhaps,' he said. He obviously didn't even care if I thought he was a bad man. I found his attitude maddening.

'And you don't think that's important?' I said. 'You don't think it matters?'

'I don't go about deliberately setting out to hurt people, if that's what you think,' said Jason.

'Then what do you do that's so bad?' I asked.

'Perhaps "bad" is the wrong word,' he said. 'I wouldn't necessarily call the things I do "bad".' He paused in thought before adding, 'we just have different ways of living our lives.'

'Well, if they're not "bad", then what are they?'

'They're not what's expected,' said Jason, carefully choosing his words.

'Like what?'

Jason thought about this for a moment. 'Like have you ever taken an illegal substance?' he asked, 'smoked some weed or something?'

'What does that even have to do with this?'

I was getting increasingly annoyed, which is why I resorted to answering back with another question. Of course it was only because I couldn't say that I had which was winding me up even more.

'Or kissed a complete stranger?' Jason asked. 'Or had a one night stand?'

This was infuriating. I had done none of these things. Jason was right. And that was what was so upsetting. All my life I'd tried to be a good person and do the right things and please everybody. But now I wasn't so sure about all of this. Now I wanted to be a girl who'd done all the kinds of things Jason was talking about. But I hadn't. Had I missed my chance?

'Maybe not,' I said at last. 'So what if I haven't?' I tried to sound defiant and carefree but there was a note of defeatism in my voice.

'It doesn't matter,' he said. 'Some people just aren't like that.' Jason had taken on a conciliatory tone that only annoyed me further.

It was odd. Moments earlier I'd been so attracted to this handsome stranger. Now I felt as if I hated his guts. And I hated it that he was so good looking.

'But I have done something bad,' I said, deciding I still needed to plead my case.

'Yeah, whatever.'

'I have though.'

'Like what?'

'I don't know.'

I looked down and my eye was caught by an insect that was buzzing around my legs and I swatted it away with my hand. Jason was pissing me off. I could sense his amusement at me and it was grating.

'Come on, tell me,' Jason cajoled. 'What's the baddest, naughtiest thing you've ever done?'

'I don't know, I can't think of something just like that off the top of my head.'

'You know I'm right,' said Jason. His smug grin was making my blood boil. 'You've not done anything like that. A girl like you just doesn't know how to.'

Something inside of me snapped. I glowered at him, fists clenched.

'What the fuck do you know about me anyway?' I said. 'What gives you the right to say something like that?'

He'd gone too far. We were almost at the point where there were tears in my eyes.

'I'm sorry,' said Jason. His smug expression disappeared. 'Don't worry about it. I'm just being a jerk.'

But it was too late. He couldn't undo what he'd said. He was so fucking cocksure it was unreal. And he'd really got to me.

'You're wrong about me,' I said.

'Maybe,' he said. He didn't mean it though.

'You are.'

Jason obviously felt quite bad that I'd become so visibly upset. He muttered some kind of apology, but I wasn't really listening. I was in a desperate state. I simply had to show him up. There was something inside me compelling me to prove to Jason that he was wrong about me.

What happened next happened because it had to. I don't know how else to explain it. I did it to prove something to myself as much as I did it to prove something to Jason. Perhaps you'll struggle to believe me after hearing everything I've said so far. After learning this much about me perhaps you won't believe this could have been the way it turned out. All I can say is that it was like a switch had flicked. And it was Jason who'd turned it on. Something inside me had irrevocably altered.

'You're wrong and I'll show you,' I said and there was a quiet steeliness to my voice.

I needed so badly to show him I wasn't the good girl he clearly thought I was. I could be naughty if I wanted to. I could be bad if it suited me. And right now it suited me.

He looked at me and saw the fire in my eye and I could tell it made him think twice about whatever he was planning to say next.

I stepped across the ground between Jason and myself, walked right up to him and took him into my hands and kissed him square on the mouth. Long and slow.

He almost gasped with shock but I managed to sort of swallow it with my mouth. Once he'd realised what was happening he received my kiss and our lips embraced as he kissed back.

When I finally broke away from him it was like I'd woken up from a dream and come to my senses. My immediate thought was 'what have I done?'

'Sorry, I shouldn't have done that,' I mumbled. I felt so awkward. I was burning up - blushing furiously. What the fuck had I done?

'No, you shouldn't,' said Jason.

But then he grasped me around the waist with two strong hands and pulled me in close to him so that our bodies were pressed up against each other and he kissed me back so much harder than I'd kissed him first. I felt something firm pushing up against my lower abdomen and suddenly I knew that he wanted me. And I think that was probably the moment when I also decided that I wanted him. We were lost in our embrace and lost in our kiss. Hands clambered over each other's bodies. Our lips searched each other out. We turned our faces one way then the other.

When we finally stopped we were both breathless.

'You're right,' Jason said. 'You shouldn't have done that.'

We were still holding each other. I looked at him and told him to 'fuck off'.

'You know, Rachael,' he said, 'I reckon that's the first time you've ever done something you shouldn't have.'

'Fuck off,' I repeated.

'Well anyway, I'm flattered,' he said. I laughed.

'You shouldn't be,' I said. 'I do this every weekend.'

But I wasn't kidding either of us.

'That's quite a way to go about proving someone wrong,' he remarked.

'I was just making a point.'

'About how you're not such a good girl?'

'Exactly.'

'So you think you're a bad girl now, do you?'

'What do you think?' I asked and I kissed him again. Each kiss we shared seemed to grow in sensuousness. His tongue brushed against mine. His teeth nipped my lips. Boy could this guy kiss!

We came apart breathless and flushed. He was still holding me, looking at me with an indecipherable expression.

'So now I'm curious to know as to how far you're willing to go with this,' he said. There was a twinkle in his eye and a mischievous smirk played around his mouth. He'd issued me a challenge that was both terrifying and enthralling.

I faced up to his challenge. 'Oh yeah?' I said.

'Yeah,' he said, 'because you know that you'll have to try harder than this if you really want to convince me you can be a bad girl.'

'Oh I'm only just getting started with you,' I replied.

It was strange hearing these words coming out of my mouth, almost as if it wasn't me saying them, as if somebody else had temporarily taken control of my body, somebody a great deal more daring than me. Now that I had started down this path however I didn't feel as if I could back out. I was committed.

We kissed again, lips and tongues wrestling with each other. His right hand searched out my ass and squeezed. I love it when a guy gropes me like that. It makes me feel so desirable. If a guy goes straight for your ass when you're making out then you know that he thinks you have a cute bum.

Again I became aware of his ramrod erection pressing up against my body. Just sensing how hard he was made me incredibly horny. Surely, in spite of all his cockiness and his play-acting, he was going crazy for me. I felt as if I might like to get better acquainted with that part of his anatomy.

The kiss broke apart and I said 'follow me' and led him into the house.

We would need to go carefully through the house. Thankfully, most of the party were gathered in the living room, although a few guests had made an early departure. There were others milling about and chatting in the kitchen and the hallway and as Jason and I came through the hallway we bumped into Aunt Camellia, possibly the last person in the world that I wanted to see just then. I momentarily froze in my tracks. I was bright red. I had this feeling that I'd been caught out in my misdemeanours. But Aunt Camellia couldn't have seen what Jason and I had just been up to in the garden. Nobody had been there with us. And she had no idea what we were about to get up to. Nor did I for that matter. I just knew that I was going to prove myself to Jason. He would find out just how bad I could be. Right now we needed to go somewhere we wouldn't be disturbed.

I smiled somewhat awkwardly at Aunt Camellia and hurried by before she could accost me. She asked where I was going and I told her I was off to the bathroom.

'Well, come and have a little chat with me when you're done,' I heard her say. But I was already starting up the stairs with Jason following behind. I looked over my shoulder and observed with relief that Aunt Camellia had moved on into the kitchen.

We climbed the stairs and as we went I could feel his eyes on the backs of my thighs. Being a few steps further up from him I knew the angle would afford him a view and I liked wondering just how much of my bare flesh he could see. Perhaps he could even see a flash of black lace from my skimpy panties?

We came out on to the landing and I threw open the door to what I knew to be the master bedroom and pulled Jason inside and kissed him. We hadn't even closed the door yet but we were both desperate to get our hands back on each other. Jason managed somehow to kick the door shut behind him with his foot as we became wrapped up in each other's arms. His hands were all over my hips.

Caution had been thrown to the wind by now. I stepped back from him mid-way through the kiss, grabbed the hem of my dress and lifted it up over my head and flung it into the corner of the room. I was standing there in my black lingerie in front of a man I'd only just met. My heart was pounding. I could feel it thumping against my ribs.

I think that by this stage I was genuinely taking Jason by surprise. He seemed to have lost his voice. I found that deeply satisfying, I can tell you. He was a man who earlier on had seemed to have a great deal to say for himself. Now he was rendered apparently speechless (at least momentarily) by the sight me stripping out of my dress. It was the most perfect outcome. He stood there with a slightly stupid look on his face as if he couldn't quite believe what was going on.

I could feel his eyes wandering up and down my slender figure. It's funny how being naked, or nearly naked, reduces you to something so vulnerable. I don't know. Perhaps others don't feel quite the same. But for me, getting undressed in front of a guy always made me feel incredibly nervous and small. It didn't matter if I'd been naked with him many times before. I still felt that same uneasiness. In a situation like this however, with a man I'd only just met, that feeling was multiplied several times over.

It must have been quite the sight if anyone could have seen us inside Simon and Shirley's bedroom, me in my black lingerie and Jason looming over me. I felt tiny and helpless stood there like that with his hungry eyes roving over my body. Yet at the same time I felt so powerful. I knew that his desire was utterly for me. There was nothing else in the world on his mind in that moment. There was something intensely satisfying about having that degree of control over a man.

I took advantage of Jason's transfixed state and stepped up close to him and started to unbutton his shirt. He was rooted to the spot. As his body was revealed to me I grew more and more desirous to have him naked. Each new glimpse of him exposed simply created an overwhelming need to see more. I unbuttoned the top few shirt buttons opening up his chest and my mind was instantly demanding to see his tummy. When the last few buttons were undone and I could see his abdomen I knew I had to get the shirt off his back to see his arms and his shoulders. And the moment this was done my mind was turning to his remaining items of clothing and what was underneath them.

I don't really know how to describe him to you apart from to say that he just looked very manly. He was muscled not in the body-builder type of way; there was something more natural about it. He didn't have bulging pecs and biceps but there was a masculine shape to his shoulders and upper body. Nor did he have a super lean six-pack but there was a very pleasant tapering in at his waist. It was the kind of body you simply had to run your hands over. And that's exactly what I did. First his chest. Then his shoulders. Then his back.