A Graduation amongst Equals Pt. 01

"Well, we got no class.

And we got no principals.

And we got no innocence.

We can't even think of a word that rhymes!"

-Alice Cooper, "School's Out"

This is the 20th story in what I assure you that I never intended to call "The Equalsverse." In the same way that, four international political suspense thrillers ago, I said the last thing I wanted to do was write those.

This one is for Daphne, who's been a major influence. I freely acknowledge that without Daniel & Becka, there'd be no Troy & Julie. The idea of a fun and fun-loving MC couple who were more interested in adding to their list of friends whom they happen to fuck and making people's lives better rather than enslaving them appealed to me. Still, there's an obvious power structure there. It made me think I'd like to see an MC relationship where both partners love and trust each other AND share power... well, equally.

Troy & Julie's love story BEGAN with "Happily Ever After." Since then, they rescued a princess and saved their old friend, a wicked queen, from herself. Those two joined the family, some stuff happened, and Helen killed a whole bunch of Nazis. I don't think of it as jumping the shark. Helen has adventures because the others can't because they're protected by a field of Happily Ever After. Troy & Julie operate on a personal level; Helen operates on a global one.

This leaves me the joyous "problem" of figuring out where to take these characters next. In the case of this story, I figure Troy's been in grad school long enough; it's time to graduate.

There have been moments where I've thought "This would be a good note to close the book on these people," then decided against it. I'm hoping that doesn't happen here either. I like them too much.

* * *

Troy Equals woke up his preferred way: looking at the face of his still-sleeping wife, Julie. He smiled and sat up, then smiled again at the woman sleeping on the opposite side of her.

Susan Bailey snuggled beside Julie with an arm around her. She must've gotten into SeaTac late because he didn't remember her there when he fell asleep. Still, it was no surprise. The combination and order of the occupants of the bed tended to vary. This one, with the three of them, was a favorite. Two of the most important women in his life, the twins sleeping upstairs; most of his family, together.

It was the absence of the third woman in his bed that made him curious. Susan came back from San Finzione in the middle of the night. The baby monitor was on and Troy heard a woman sleeping on the other end with the children. That meant that Jeanne, Contessa Helena de San Finzione's personal maid, was with them. Troy would have recognized Helen's breathing if she were in there as well and concluded that she hadn't come home with Susan.

Helen had been both his and Julie's dear friend since they were all children and had been both of their first girlfriend. Now she was known to the world as Contessa Helena de San Finzione; ruler of the tiny and prosperous European country of San Finzione. Susan had come into their lives in recent years but was just as much a part of their little family unit as the others.

"Hope Helen's ok." He thought as he carefully got up and turned to look at the decorative shelves of display cases occupying most of one wall of the room. He and Julie had been best friends their entire lives and given each other many little gifts over the years. When they bought this house, they put the ones they'd felt most special into this collection. Helen and Susan had added items to the collection as well. Now, instead of being just a monument to his and Julie's lifelong friendship, it was a monument to the growing family that the four of them had become. His best outcome was that Helen was only across the street at the Green house and would show up soon.

Troy put on some underwear and the red velvet smoking jacket that had belonged to his great-grandfather and went out to start the coffee maker. Although the others would hear the one in the bedroom, he turned on the baby monitor in the kitchen.

The bedroom door opened, telling him that one of the women hadn't been sleeping as peacefully as he'd thought. Susan stepped out and crossed the living room to the kitchen. She gave Troy a peck on the cheek before going to the fridge for the hazelnut creamer.

"Hey, Doctor Boy." Susan punctuated the peck with.

"Hey, Dilletante Girl." Troy replied, setting out cups for everyone and referring to the fact that, following something they did a couple of years ago, Susan had enough money to do whatever she wanted, so that was her new occupation. "You came in late."

"We were discussing what we've got planned for you tonight." Susan said with a wink, pouring the creamer into her cup while waiting for the pot to finish. "Then Helen said she and Mander had a thing to take care of before the ceremony."

That caused Troy to stop and turn and overflow the cup he was filling. He reached for a paper towel.

"She brought Mander?" He asked overly casually.

"Yeah," Susan said, hurriedly trying to change the subject. "She said she's going to be there on time."

Susan knew that wouldn't stop Troy from doing what happened next.

He took his phone from the robe's pocket and told it "Helen."

* * *

Contessa Helena de San Finzione sat at a poker table and looked at the three million-dollar pot. She wore a sleeveless white dress with a plunging neckline and a slit down each leg.

"So, you know." She said in Norwegian, producing a cigarette from a case and lighting it with a built-in lighter. "It's a thing some friends taught me when we were kids. One of them's graduating today; that's where I gotta go after this. They figured out the secret way back then and taught me so I could use it to escape my abusive father."

Helen looked at the cards in front of her.

"Ooh, pocket tens!" She exclaimed, putting them back down and tossing another ten thousand into the pile in the center. "So yeah, didn't learn it in time to stop him from beating my mom to death. But you know what? I think I got a better family out of the deal." She turned to reach into her black Prada Arcade bag. "Would you like to see some pictures of my boys?"

"No thank you, Contessa." Jeremy Nordqvist, the solar panel mogul on whose yacht the game was being held answered. "That was an interesting story and a feeble bluff attempt." He raised her bet. "But what I'd like to know for the second time is what the fuck you're doing here and why neither I nor anyone else has shot you yet!"

"Oh yeah, I suppose that WOULD interest you, wouldn't it? Well, nobody's shot me because I did the Thing I was just talking about to command you all not to back when I boarded. I made you forget and had you deal me in with your mobster buddies and started telling you the story when you asked the first time because it amused me. And what the fuck am I doing here? Well, as a favor, I advised Don Nessuno against accepting your invitation, so he won't be coming. I took it for myself because I'm a born thief and I can't resist a good high stakes poker game. Especially one hosted as an alibi for a scumbag who's about to stage a shipping disaster and drop a load of nuclear waste into Puget Sound because the world's not converting to solar fast enough for his liking."

The man's eyes widened but he and the others at the table found themselves unable to go for their guns.

"I've gotta tell you, Jeremy." Helen continued with a drag. "I've dealt with evil businessmen, fucking Daftpunk, elaborate coup attempts, the American government, Nazis; which are sorta the same thing. Hell, I defeated the fucking Phone Company! All but one have had motives other than simply polluting and killing a bunch of people just to be a dick. But he was in it for other reasons than JUST money. You're my first real Captain Planet villain."

"This isn't about money!" He blustered, set off by the Captain Planet reference. "Americans won't acknowledge a crisis until it affects them personally! Only a disaster big enough..."

Helen cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah. Psychotic justification, warped logic, flawed reasoning, 'the world will thank me in the end;' I've heard it all before, Jeremy. You getting a lot richer in the process is 'a happy accident.' Now, you didn't make the worst mistake and try this shit in San Finzione; hell, we're solar and wind-powered already. But the reason I told you all that secret personal shit about them earlier is that you made the second-worst mistake: Picking a place where people I care about personally live."

It was at that moment that Helen's phone started playing the theme to "The Man With The Golden Gun."

"Nobody move!" She commanded the room as she pulled the phone from her purse. "This is one of them. C'mon in, Mander! It's safe."

Nigel Mander stepped into the room, dropping the bodies of the two men who'd been outside guarding the door. Helen got up from her seat as she answered.

"Hey, boy." She said in English to Troy Equals on the other end. "Yeah, I'm here. Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up; I had a thing."

While they spoke, Helen walked around the table, picked up Nordqvist's cards, and switched them with her own without looking.

"Forget I did that," she said to the men in the room. "Who? Oh no, not you. It's nothing. Look, I'll be on time. I have to take care of this, then I'll be there!"

She returned to her seat while Mander took guns. Helen propped her feet up on the table.

"I know it's high profile, but Julie's my best friend and everyone knows that; so her husband getting his Ph.D is a thing I'd attend. How're the boys?" She let him speak. "Well, the sooner I finish with this, the sooner I'll be there. By the way, now would be a good time to sell all your interests in Nordqvist Solenergi. No reason. Love you all. Bye."

She put her phone back in her purse and lit another cigarette; the first having burnt down during her conversation.

"Ok, forget what you just heard and now only you can move, Jeremy."

He looked at the terrified gangsters, unable to reach for the guns that were no longer there because Mander had lifted them effortlessly from their holsters. He moved on to wallets.

"If I know Her Countessness," He told the first man. "You're not gonna be needing the contents long."

"YOU'RE EVIL!" Nordqvist shouted.

"I'M NOT EVIL!" Helen shouted back. "I'M UNFETTERED BY PRINCIPLES!"

She took a drag of her cigarette, then set it in the lip of the poker table.

"What I am, though." She said more calmly, shoving her chips into the center of the table. "Is raising."

Nordqvist smirked and shoved his larger pile of chips into the pot.

"As am I, Contessa. All in. And you can't match me."

"Oh, I have something to put up, but you're gonna have to match IT."

Helen reached into her Prada bag for something.

"Things are already in motion, Helena. This game is fun but ultimately pointless. What are you going to up the wager with? Your tiara?"

"No, this. Which you will not try to take unless you win." She commanded, tossing a remote detonator onto the pot. "One of the two detonators for the bombs Mander's been busy planting around the ship all this time. You see, I know a little about explosives myself. Oh, that reminds me; your divers should be swimming straight into my Ultimados about now. Mander's got my other one. And the only thing YOU can match it with is YOUR detonator on the nuclear waste shipment. Winner gets Mander's and REALLY takes all! How about it, Jeremy?"

Nordqvist lit a cigarette of his own.

"If he blows up my yacht, you die too, Contessa."

Helen picked up hers and took a puff before answering.

"When I go all in, I go all in."

* * *

Troy grabbed the suit bag that contained his cap and gown. He, Julie, and Susan piled into Julie's minivan and Jeanne took the twins across the street to the Green house, where their security detail was stationed. Troy & Julie's garage also contained Troy & Susan's cars, a Ferrari that La Contessa had given to her oldest friend, and five matching Vespa scooters.

"Three extra years of schooling comes down to this." Julie told him as she backed out of the garage. Because Troy's identity as the father of the Royal Twins was a secret, they and Jeanne would be arriving with their mother. "During that time, you've married your best friend," she patted his knee for emphasis. "Helped take down an evil corporate scumbag, brought new industries to San Finzione, fathered twins, secured a monarchy, and traveled to the other side of the world repeatedly to be with their mother during the pregnancy."

"I appreciate the women in my life more than anything in the world, Mistress." He replied to his wife. He turned to Susan in the back seat. They both smiled. "Telecourses are a close second."

"I can't wait to see what you do with more time on your hands." She replied.

"Squeezing five years of grad school into three." Susan commented. "And all so people will have to call you 'The Doctor.'"

Everyone laughed. It wasn't Troy's only reason, but it was in there. His primary motivation for seeking a Ph.D. in Economics had been the words of his great-grandfather. He'd told young Troy that businessmen, politicians, and lawyers were all out to steal.

"If you want to steer the world, steer the money, neh? Make them come to YOU for PERMISSION to steal!"

Julie had heard those words alongside him, having grown up Troy's next-door neighbor and best friend. After high school, Troy had gone off to college and Julie went to tour Europe with Helen for two years before going for a BA in Fine Arts. It was being reunited after graduation that caused the two of them to realize that, with the power they both possessed, they could have anything in the world; but the only thing they'd ever needed was each other.

The trip up Interstate 5 was filled with chatter as the ladies pointedly avoided giving Troy any hints to their plans for the party afterwards. News on the radio spoke of the death of solar power billionaire Jeremy Nordqvist in a mysterious fire on his yacht. Troy had already sold all his investment firm's stock in Nordqvist's company upon receiving Helen's tip. The timing of the two events, he mentally filed away under "Things We Don't Ask Helen About." It ranked below her issue with Daftpunk.

"So, who all's coming?" Troy asked Julie, hoping for something to work with.

"Well, Mander and Claire are hitting the town, so they won't be there. Jeanne's taking the boys across the street. Brenda's coming by..."

"Oh, Brenda!" Troy replied, causing Julie's expression to change to that of someone who'd just said too much.

Brenda Sullivan was the college librarian Troy had met when he'd been in Seattle before. She'd turned out to have a mind control fetish and fantasy of being a hypnotized sex slave and happened to meet one of the, at the time, three people in the world who could do it. That she was coming told Troy that the evening was going to feature Doing What They Do.

"Your every silence speaks volumes." Susan said to Julie with a pat on the shoulder from the back seat. She then turned to Troy. "Guess we won't have to sit through a long speech anyway."

"Nope." Troy replied. There were only fifteen in the class and he was graduating third. He could have been first except for his fear of people learning about the power the four of them shared that caused him to make a habit of trying not to stand out and being willing to settle for third place. "Just listen to a couple others speak, then on to whatever this surprise is."

"You're not getting anything out of me." Susan replied steadfastly. All Troy knew about the evening ahead now was that it was Susan's idea and that she often had good ideas.

"Ok, fine." He said, dropping it as they exited the freeway. He still wanted to be surprised and knew that if he pushed any further, Julie wouldn't be able to keep it from him long. "As long as things at the ceremony go..."

He heard a helicopter flying above them. Looking out the window, he recognized the helicopter that was coming in for a landing on the lawn of the university.

"Quietly." Troy finished.

* * *

Troy recognized a few faces in the crowd as belonging to members of La Squadra de Ultimados; San Finzione's elite special forces and La Familia Royale's personal guard. As the father of the Royal Twins, Troy and his family received Ultimados protection whether they wanted it or not. The fact that he and the family didn't require much if any protection meant that the two Ultimados were free to maintain their cover identities as a married couple. They devoted a good deal of their time to maintaining their cover.

He sat with the others, listening to the speakers who came before, when music swelled. The band struck up "Glory to San Finzione" and put a literal end to Troy's hopes that there would not be much fanfare. All stood as, down an emerald green carpet toward the front row, strode Contessa Helena de San Finzione. The pantsuit she'd had to stop and buy along the way still the height of fashion and the adjusting of her normal hairstyle to cover recent singeing went noticed only by those in the crowd who knew her well. Two Ultimados in uniform walked on either side of her until she reached Julie Equals. Julie stood, gave her a European kiss hello, and the two were seated. Followed by the rest of those assembled.

"Well," Troy thought. "There's one alibi firmly established." He thought about what he'd have to say to her afterwards and already knew her answer was going to be "A little Pomp to go with your Circumstance. Hey, I'm a Contessa. Making entrances is what I do."

* * *

The ceremony passed quickly once Helen's entrance was over. Troy accepted the diploma and they left her to command the reporters that the slightly singed look was all the rage in Europe but hadn't made it here yet. She'd meet them at the house later. The other three had a couple of rounds with Troy's fellow graduates before returning home.

"So," Troy thought aloud, still trying to guess what the ladies had in mind. "Whatever it is, we couldn't stay in the city and do it; we had to come home."

Julie and Susan looked at each other and giggled at that.

"Well, we could." Susan said with a smile.

"But then we'd get media attention." Julie added as they walked in.

"And nobody wants that!" Helen continued from the couch, having been waiting for them. She had a key and knew the alarm codes for the Equals house, but not having those things wouldn't have stopped her. A gift bag sat on the coffee table. She stood and hugged Julie, kissed Susan, and threw her arms around Troy, looking up into his eyes.

"I had to kill someone." Her eyes told his.

"I'd guessed." His replied. "Were they bad?"

"Yes." Hers answered.

"Would they have hurt a bunch of people if you didn't?" His eyes asked.

"Yes. Possibly all of you, too."

"Then I'm sure you did the best you could." His eyes said, causing hers to relax and enjoy being with all of them.

There was a knock at the door. Julie went to answer it. On the other side was a librarian. Even if Julie didn't know that was her profession, it would have been her first guess. This was because Brenda looked every bit the cliché of the hot librarian.

"Hello, Dr. and Ms. Equals." She said with a grin, stepping inside. "Hi, Susan, Contessa." With Brenda's kink, Helen had discovered it was futile to get the woman to address her any other way. "Hope you haven't started without me."

"Nope." Helen said, stepping out of the embrace. "You're just in time for my gift." She ran back to the bag.

"How does she have time for this?" Brenda asked Susan.

"Rita Delvecchio's gonna be on the town tonight." Susan replied, referring to Helen's double.