All Comments on 'A Gray Area Ch. 14'

but the bit with the landlady seemed forced, a little overdramatic. Got the point of the scene, but it difficult to believe Cady would let some racist old lady up in her house. The scene didnt fit with how you have already established Cady's character/personality...plus, it just didnt flow, didnt make alot of sense to the story line. It reads like the writer was fishing for drama, or for a reason to have the characters kiss - when there is already enough drama between them, and just them kissing would have been enough.

Dont get me wrong, I love this story, I love your writing -its just that scene bothered me. It reads like a cheap way around writers block, a lazy conflict, square peg round hole.

And everything else about this story has been awesome, your style, your wit, and your ability to make the reader care about the character, and make the reader beg for more chapters.

I just think you have WAY MORE TALENT than that sloppy, pointless scene.

its not really that difficult to believe though. the whole story Cady has been a spineless twit who doesnt stick up for herself until she absolutely has to and runs away from every problem ever. so of course she would sit there and let a racist bitch spew her verbal diarrhea all over the place. i do agree that it seemed forced though