All Comments on 'A Hell of a Day'

I would go for a series of accidental sexual encounters between these two, exhibitionist, etc. It might be unrealistic, but your story was hot.

What a wierd story but hey--it could happen!

I enjoyed your story quite a bit, it wasn't particularly erotic, but it contained a lot of humor and was well-written, very much worth the read. Thank you, I enjoyed it a lot.

I enjoyed your story. It was well written and original. Please keep writing.

I really liked this story, you are a very imaginative person. I'm sure any direction you take will be great.

Please keep the story going! You have quite an imagination and it is refreshing.

Muy bueno, realmente una historia bien contada

I would love to have a simular encounter such as this pls write more

I loved this...your a riot what a great imagination ...you could use a copy editor but i thought your first attempt was awesome... i would love to see them run into each other again having a year or so pass..as someone said it wasn't super erotic in the tradition sense but i thought it was super super steamy in a OMG this could really happen kind of way. I really hope you write again ...impressive first effort

I have always felt like I could write well, and you all have shown me I can. Your comments showed me that I conveyed exactly what I wanted to in the story. Thank you very much, your praises made me smile. I kind of like the idea of continuing with these two a year or so down the road with another accidental encounter. I was worried about too much frequency of incidents making it plain unbelievable however with enough time separating the incidents and a variation in the incidents it might be doable. I am working out a few ideas in my head right now for the next part. If this works out the way I want it to there should be 4 or 5 parts with 2 of those parts being really long. One giving alot more history and the other... well, I can't give it away just yet, lol. Thanks again.

The story, itself, is actually pretty entertaining, and reasonably plausible. The writing, however, is "not so great". (Before you get offended, this note is the very kind version of what I was thinking!) Learn something about homonyms; (seams? chic? your?). Do that, and clean up some grammar and punctuation issues, and you could do some really interesting writing.

-- KK in Texas

I actually have no problem with getting constructive criticism. Your comment was constructive and I appreciate it. Going to seek out an editor so that my details can stay in the ideas where they should.

I loved it! The story, characters and your writing. I really hope you do plan on continuing this one as I think it can become a fantastic chapter series! PLEASE, PLEASE!! and I love your sense of humor. You have great skill as a writer and I hope to see you a lot more on here!

LOL !

more story,same guy,same girl

Same characters please. I would like it to be similar and then eventually become love.

keep it up with the reluctant Julie

Thanks for a fun little story. If you think you can keep the momentum up, it would be great to read more about this fun couple.

I had a lot of fun reading this. It managed to be a turn on, but be really funny (what a situation!) at the same time. I'd love to see more involving these same 2 characters-- ending up together might be really nice. Honestly, I must say that this perhaps should have ended up in the humor section (which is not an insult!), or for the sake of continuing the story, then in erotic couplings.

Overall, really enjoyed this! Despite the ridiculous situation, they were really believable characters.

I'd love to see this story continued with the same 2 characters. It would be nice to see them eventually fall in love after more humorous episodes. -Jim

I loved the story and i do think that you should continue with it. I think that you could use an editer though you already know this so their is no need to say more on that matter. Please keep this story going, however if you choose to leave these two alone. I would request a sister story thank you.

Please, please, please, write more of this! Hot and funny at the same time! Great job!

More would be good, with them ending up together, but have him in similar situations with other girls before then.

Silly and a lot of fun.

I enjoyed it a lot. :)

Well, I enjoyed it. I had a minor issue though, with how easily he was able to penetrate her ass, lube notwithstanding. Unless she's heavily into anal, that would've hurt like hell. Still, the whole story was good. I enjoyed the lead up to their predicament and I'm a fan of anal sex anyway. It seemed like there was some potential there at the end for them to stop hating each other and maybe develop something. I'd say future encounters wouldn't need to be so accidental. Nice job.

A very good start with decent (even if maybe too brief) character development. As someone else noted, amazing to be able to penetrate her anally 'by accident'.

Unfortunately a number of spelling and grammar errors that just grate on my nerves. There is no doubt you're a creative and imaginative writer but a little more care with editing and proof reading will do wonders.

I encourage you to write more with Jeff and Julie, such as more accidental encounters in the future (home for the summer after their first year of college or at their 5 year high school reunion) as well as a "look back" at perhaps their first incident that may be the root of the tension between them beyond the incident with her older sister. Possibly something from their start of high school...

wow, plausible enough. deserves further development.

Just loved it, keep them comming.

I really like this one. Great feel to it and love the dynamic between the characters.

She obviously likes him. They should continue the game of being forced into sex once or twice more, then become open about it.

I found this story on my phone and wasn't allowed to read the entire thing due to app restrictions but was glad I could remember it to find it later, I would enjoy reading more of this story the characters could come together quiet amazingly.

I would love more with those two. After the bus ride, and with mutual friends, maybe they would spend more time together? Perhaps another unplanned incident? Then maybe a planned one? That would be hot.

Retains Suspension of Disbelief.

Like your style of writing. You have set it up to let them move forward, but need to answer the question, why does Julie hate him, or is that her defense for liking him too much? However you decide, it should make a good story.

I SAY MORE INCIDENTS AND DEVELOP THEIR STORY TOO

Great story, I remember reading it when it was new and just refound it. This time I'll favorite it so I can find it again. You should definitely write more stories.

and a glorious bus ride. TK U MLJ LV NV

i would love to see this taken further

it would be great to have other things happen between them.

cheer up and it did. TK U MLJ LV NV ps I think you could have a winner with Jeffs character, mlj

I think after that luck on the bus you could tell him or some other dude who rides busses and trains looking for pantyless girls to fuck anonymously and dump a load in, maybe even knock up. Keep it up

I really like the story and I think you need to continue it, maybe in the direction they get together. I like both your stories, but you really need to continue and finish them.

A lot of stories here are paint-by-the-number. They would have gone straight to the bus scene. Your coconut-salt smell, incoming rain feel, and sandbank water dynamics created an interesting world. And then the dynamics of the girl and the guy hating each other, yet being forced to share a sandbank until tide changes created a lot of intrigue and tension to what was going to happen.

The whole idea of his cock in her bum by "complete" accident is completely ludicrous. However, you spoon fed the development slowly from the beginning of her just not wanting to be rescued to admitting a rare, yet plausible loss of bottoms. The slow spoon feeding let me accept the "reality" of it bit by bit.

I think you are asking where to take the story, because it can't really go anywhere. To borrow from improv comedy, a scene is either about a game or relationship. A game in improv comedy is a repeatable thing that gets heightened over and over, e.g. the dog stealing first a bone, then the shoes, and more and more. Your story was mostly game based. You heightened their "accidents" to anal in a public bus. If you heighten it more, it'll get grotesque like everyone in the bus joining or monsters appearing and joining.

You had some good relationship bits, e.g. the hate between the two. You started dissolving the hate with her kiss on the cheek. That was cool for how the story is. It could have been something interesting to build out. You could have heightened the hate between the two and how they develop. A continuation could "drop" the game and build out their relationship (relationship = how they relate to each other, not necessarily romantic relationship). Then the game was merely how they met, and it's really about the relationship. Of course, later another game/accident can happen again embedded in their lives (happen organic rather than the whole story being a series of accidents).

Of course, you can always invent something new and take the story wherever you want to. I really enjoyed the backstory and atmosphere that you created. Bravo!

There seem to be a solid ground for bettering their relationship. Loved the story. Keep on writting. I just love "accident" story, but barelly plausible with the same guy.

Thanks for sharing

I loved it. First time I read something like this and I like the idea of them falling in love eventually.. Starting out with them opening up a little, then a bit of oral relieving on eachother yada yada yada, you know how it goes!

5/5!

Great setting and characters, makes me want to read more. Although this is pure as it is, start something new! 5 stars from me

It would be great to see more stories about them...but also maybe a series on the various types of "accidents" this guy could get into...with Julie again and others...I can think of some interesting scenarios...keep writing!!!!

Just keep the humour and use different scenarios but keep the characters as is.

The dumbest thing I've read all day, but funny and well written. Your sense of humor makes me want to check out other stories you might have posted. Thanks for the entertainment.

I gave it five stars for crazy silly entertainment! Usually I prefer reading incest stories on here, and every once in a while they have a brother/sister senario that is similar to this, the hardest part is picturing their positioning in your head!

I think the silliest one I ever read was a sister showering with a clear curtain that was fogged up and the brother had snuck in and was stroking it when she realized he was there, to play it off he said he couldnt hold it and had to pee,so he is sitting on the toilet but cant bend it down so is covering it with his hand. He hands her a towel and she is getting out of the tub and tripps and falls, ass first, her puss impaling right down to the balls on him, lol.

Please continue this with these characters I'm really interested to see how their relationship develops, also awesome story 5/5.

Loved the story and setting, but please, PLEASE, get your grammar and proofreading fixed. So many annoying typos and missing words... Will not vote the 3/5 I would give it now, but with the language sorted it'd be a clear 5 in my book.

Middle aged man. Get a grip your having a wank not reading Shakespeare !!

Continue the story, its great, and the teasing is what makes it great.

I would suggest for them to have one more incident and then love, i mean she's certainly close.

If you don't continue it would definitely be a pity you really should finish it!

Please continue the story. According to me, you should go wit another incident that she creates after realising her sister isn't the saint she thinks and learns the truth how he saved her from getting arrested. At first she do it as an apology for blaming him, but then realise she has fallen for him.

I think this story has potential to become several chapters long, with how they go from not liking each other, to falling in love.

Really good work, keep your stories coming.

You've got to continue this story as soon as possible please! Probably should come out how he helped / begged her sister out of being arrested, but focus on them.

You couldn't resist taking the story anal huh? Too bad, that's where I quit reading and went on to another writer.

The old fart.

Well I've read it before but it was fun to reread it! I'm surprised he didn't try and clear the air over her whole sister thing, captive audience and all, hehe ;). –

Make them fall in love. Have the love be kept secret for the 2nd part. Found and joined by Julies mom in 3rd pt.

I’d love to read about them having similar incidents like this in more chapters! It’d be a fun and sexy story to have several accidentally sexual encounters like this and then eventually fall in love.

More accidents, that was sooooooooo fucking hot

Sounds like a case of foolish good-hearted hero helping out a rival from his past/childhood. Or somebody who was technically part of his team/party, but they were at odds with each other. When the situation demanded teamwork, she did not waste time assigning blame or even consider abandoning him. She simply made a solid, logical plan. When things went awry, she calmly adapted. He followed her instructions without pause, amazed at her intellect and quick thinking. Very Anime.

Am I overthinking this, probably. Did these thoughts and comparisons make the story all the hotter for me? Definitely. Keep it up. I like the style. Don't be afraid to start over with new characters either, not every story needs to be a long saga. These sort of one-shots are my favorite. Good luck in future.

This is your story you should tell it anyway you want. You should also keep writing. You have skills. Panther fan.

he should explain what happened then start dating her in my opinion.

Great story.

oh so hot ,naughty and funny god they are soulmates

damn i love accidental sweet sex please write more

I would love to read more of these two

Another story between these 2, maybe they fight with themselves about how they are starting to get mutual attraction to each other.

I actually enjoyed this, even had a giggle. 🤭

FALL IN LOVE, SHES 6' TALL. FALL IN LOVE! AND SHE TAKES IT UP THE ASS...YUMMY!

"I caught her stealing some of the bathing suits that the hut sold and turned her in for it and Julie got plenty pissed off at me for it. What she doesn't know is that I was the reason she didn't get arrested over the issue. I literally begged them not to"

First you tell on people stealing and then you beg them not be punished for it? The best way to achieve that would be just to not report it lol. Unless you want some kind of social appreciation lul

"Julie's sister is a pothead. She probably stole the stuff to sell for drugs. I knew it was only a matter of time before she did something stupid."

Stupid chliches check

Please continue this