A Holiday to Die for

I had just grabbed my spare tuxedo on the way through to the master bathroom when I saw my wife.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm hungry," she replied. "I was going to sneak into the kitchen for a snack."

"You're dead," I said. "Go back and lay down and I'll bring you some snacks."

She stuck her tongue out, waved her tits at me and went back to the guest bedroom. I hit the kitchen for a plate of miscellaneous snacks and brought them into her.

"Thanks," she said "You're pretty spry for a dead guy. I heard the gun shot and the yelling."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically. "This recently dead and cold guy is going for a hot shower."

"This has been fun," she said. "I have had all kinds of people sneak in and cop a feel."

"Really," I said. "Necrophiliacs."

"And one was real gentle and finger fucked me to an immense orgasm," she said. "It felt like a woman's hand doing it. She was so gentle with her touch."

With that she grabbed a couple of the chicken salad crackers and shoved them in her mouth.

"I'm going for that hot shower now," I said.

With a mouth full of chicken salad crackers my deceased wife mumbled, "Shrinkage?"

I just shook my head and walked out, which for some reason she found immensely funny.

Oh that shower felt good once I got in it.

About 30 seconds later I heard the door and Claire's voice saying, "Sorry. I had to pee and the other bathroom was occupied."

I pulled on my dick a couple times to start it growing then said, "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours," then pulled the shower curtain back as I heard the toilet flush.

Her eyes got big then. Not the shock and horror big. More like I'm interested big.

She stood there for a couple seconds, licked her lips and said, "What the hell, it's probably all the champagne but fair is fair."

She reached down and grabbed her dress and pulled it over her head in one swift motion. Much to my surprise and delight she wasn't wearing any underwear. She was naked and holding her dress draped over one arm.

"Very nice," I said. "Me likey"

"I can see," she said, staring at my growing erection. She started to reach for it when somebody banged on the door.

"Stop bogarting this bathroom," said a voice much like Linda's. "Other people need to pee, so we can drink more champagne."

With that she quickly withdrew her hand and slipped her dress back on. With a couple of pats to settle it in, she turned back and said directly to my cock, "I'll see you later" and opened the door.

"Sorry dearie. It took longer than I thought; I am not used to peeing with a strange man in the room."

"I'm not strange," I yelled. Everyone ignored me.

"That's ok," Linda said, "But if it had been any longer, I wouldn't need the bathroom. I'd need a mop."

I sat back letting the warm water run over me sliding my hand slowly back and forth on my cock. I could hear Sara peeing and it sounded like a gushing river. I guess she wasn't lying.

I was just getting into a nice slow rhythm when I hear, "Let me do that for you" and looked down to see a naked Sara climbing into the shower with me.

I made some kind of glugging noise that must have sounded like Steve to her ears.

She reached up to hook her hand around the back of my neck and gently grabbed my cock with her other while she said, "Don't worry about Steve. We have a pretty open marriage. I bring home girls for him and he'll occasionally bring a guy home for me."

She pulled me down to kiss me. When she released me I found my hands had moved to cover her tits on their own and she was starting to purr.

"Oh you are ready," she said.

With that, she spun around and reached between her legs, grabbed my cock and guided me into her.

She was tight, but she was wet, so it only took a couple tries before I was buried to the hilt in her cunt.

"Mmmmm. That is so nice," she purred. "I've needed a dick for the last few days and yours is a very nice dick. Fuck me. Please fuck me. Make me come".

By this point, I had my hands grabbing her hips and started to pull myself into and out of her. I had the traction and must have hit the right spots because she was bucking before I put a dozen strokes in.

"Oh gawd I'm coming," she said and she was.

I could feel her tight pussy trying to milk my cock. I stopped my stroking and just throbbed my dick. That seemed to push things up a notch and she started scream and slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle it. She went up on her toes and her whole body shook for a moment and then she slid back down and leaned against the wall for a moment and then carefully tuned around and kissed me, then said "I have to go before they suspect something."

Then she was gone. Just like that.

I heard her toweling off quickly and the door opened and closed again.

And I was left with this hardon. In the shower. Alone. Motherfuck.

So I shut the shower down, dried off and got into my spare tuxedo and went to see what happened since William died.

Chapter 4 - Developments

I found almost everyone in the guest bedroom. So I put the mustache on and went in.

"What is going on?" Pointcairn cried out.

The crowd parted and I saw Reverend Sam lying on the other bed on his back with his shirt open and his pants and underwear down around his ankles. He had a necktie around his neck that was pulled up above his head and held by his left hand. His right hand was down near his crotch.

"At first glance, it looks like the good reverend was trying to enjoy a little auto erotic asphyxiation and got carried away. I don't blame him. Mme. Slickwhistle is definitely worth beating ones meat over."

A giggle came from under Heather's pillow. I stage whispered, "No giggling from the dead peanut gallery."

Which of course got a second giggle and a snicker from the latest deado.

"But of course," Pointcairn continued "This has been carefully staged. Reverend Sam was left handed and so he would have been holding his tie in his right hand and beating his meat with his left hand. Also there is some lipstick round his dipstick, so somebody was giving him oral pleasure when he was killed."

A voice from the back of the room muttered, "Lucky bastard".

At that point, Claire came forward looked at the cock in question and said, "That's my lipstick."

And the crowd went, "Oooooooh. Ahh!"

Claire continued, "You don't understand. I gave him the blowjob before we left home. He was walking around with this big boner and it made his pants bulge out, so I blew him."

"True," said the corpse.

"Shut it," I said.

"That might explain why there are no fresh cum stains on the bed or the floor," Pointcairn said. "Claire, come here. Now."

When she came close, I kissed her and slid my tongue in. She responded with some tongue action of her own and a squeeze on my cock. The corpse cleared his throat.

The crowd went "Oooooooh. Ahh!"

After pulling back from her lips, Pointcairn announced, "There is a faint taste of cum in her mouth, but it is not fresh. So she could not have killed him after sucking him off. So either the killer staged this whole thing, or somebody else's mouth tastes like cum."

Pointcairn looked down at Claire and asked, "Will you kiss all the guys one at a time and look for cum breath, while I do the same for the women?"

She got the biggest smile, realized it and then put on a game face and nodded. I swatted her butt and she headed off.

"Now I will do the same for all the other women."

"Me too," said LaBella.

"Shut up, you're dead," I replied. I think I heard "Spoilsport" come from under her pillow.

Pointcairn worked his way around the room kissing all the women. When we finished, Claire announced that "None of the men had cum breath."

A sigh of relief went up from the women.

Pointcairn announced that none of the women had cum breath either. So there were no suspects that way.

"Let us reconvene in the living room" I said as I pulled off the mustache.

When we were all in the living room, I again passed out snacks and filled champagne glasses as the butler, until Larry asked, "Has anyone seen my wife Nancy, I mean Sally?"

We all looked around and she was indeed gone.

"Spread out," the butler said, "Find her. She probably went to the bathroom."

As we spread out, Jim yelled out, "Found her. She's in the master bedroom."

As we crowded in, she was completely naked with a pillow over her head.

"Copycat," I muttered.

But when I moved the pillow, she had her panty hose wrapped and tied around her neck. For a second I didn't see her breathing and I went to check for a pulse.

"Got'cha" she cried.

"You scared the shit out of me" I said.

"Sorry. I'm dead. The killer got me and left me here," she said.

"No more clues," I said and dropped the pillow back on her head.

I looked around. So we were down to 3, Jim, Linda and Claire.

So what did we have?

LaBella (Heather) was strangled in the guest bedroom.

William (James) was shot by the pool.

Reverend Sam (Bob) was strangled in the guest room.

Now Sally (Nancy) was strangled in the master bedroom.

Wait, that only adds up to 7. We had 8 guests.

"Where is Larry?" the butler asked.

The three looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, let's find him."

Everybody split up.

Jim checked the living room and the kitchen.

Claire checked the bathrooms. And I don't know where Linda went to check until she screamed out by the pool.

Larry was sitting naked on the stairs of the hot tub, a big kitchen knife was on the coping next to him and a bright red line was across his throat, running down his chest. I freaked out until I saw him wink at me.

Dipping a finger into the red, it was catsup. It was clever and really sick at the same time.

"So we are really now down to 3," the butler said looking at Jim and Linda.

I looked at my watch and said, "It's 11:40, Larry will you come into the living room in 5 minutes?"

"Should I come as I am?" he asked with a grin.

"Just wipe the catsup off," I said throwing him a towel off the ground.

As I was afraid, I found Claire on the floor of the powder room with her head in the toilet and the lid on top of her head.

"Drowned," the butler said.

"Yep" the corpse confirmed.

"Might as well start to convene in the living room," the butler said as I bent down to help her up.

Next I went to the guest bedroom where LaBella, Sam and Sally were eating snack cakes and swapping lies.

"We are convening in the living room for the reveal," I said.

Chapter 5 - Resolution

I had all the deados sit on the couch and the pit group. The two live ones stood in front of the drapes, a fitting back drop.

"How many of you know who killed you?" I asked.

Everybody's hand went up except mine. Fuck. I never saw who killed me.

"Alright, you guys can't participate," I said. "When I printed out the scenarios, I didn't read them so I don't know who was supposed to be the killer."

"It looks like it is down to the three of us to solve this. So let's see if logic can reveal the killer," Pointcairn said stroking his mustache.

"Nope, why bother," said Linda who pulled out the pistol and "shot" Jim. "I win. I get the $7 Million."

"Fuck! I didn't see that coming!" said Jim as he slumped to the floor.

I looked over at the corpse gallery and half the faces registered shock.

I looked at the clock on the wall and yelled out, "Holy shit. Final countdown to New Year's. Grab a partner. 5 -- 4 -- 3 - 2 - 1....."

I never got to yell zero because a mouth was covering mine and a hand was rubbing my crotch. I just closed my eyes and went with it. I could feel fabric under my fingers so it had to be either Clarisse or Sara. The kiss kept going and I recognized that taste, it was Clarisse. She found the zipper and pulled my cock out. I reached down and started to pull her dress up. She stepped back and pulled her dress over her head, dropped it on the floor and stepped back to me pulling my hand to her pussy.

I looked around and could see Heather was playing with Bill's cock and it was expanding nicely.

Sally had untied her panty hose and had Steve between her thighs eating her pussy.

Sara was riding Bob's cock and running her fingers through Steve's hair.

Heather caught my eye and blew me a kiss just as Clarisse slid down my body and captured my cock with her mouth. I caught that kiss and slapped it on my cheek, then made the universal hand sign for a blowjob. Heather nodded and slid down to suck on Bill's cock.

I put my hand on Clarisse's head and said, "If you don't stop that, I am going to pop in your mouth."

Her answer to that was to start humming a popular tune while sliding my cock to the back of her throat for maximum effect.

"I'm going to come," I said through clenched teeth.

Clarisse slid her mouth off my cock and said "Then come already."

She started jacking my cock hard and fast and licking the head with her tongue.

That was all it took. All the tension from getting the party together, not having sex with Heather for a couple days and getting left standing in the shower all combined to flow out of my cock in great spurts.

The first one missed her mouth and splashed across her nose and eye. Then she pulled my cock into her mouth sucked and swallowed the rest of my load. When I was done she ran a finger across her face and scooped up the first batch and sucked it off her finger. My knees were weak so I sat down.

As I scanned the room I could see Heather riding Bill reverse cowgirl watching me. When she saw I was looking at her she made a circle with her thumb and forefinger and poked her other forefinger into it then pointed at Clarisse. I nodded and pushed her back and started to lick her pussy. I ran my hands up and played with her nipples while I ate her. She was wound pretty tight too. It only took a minute before she started to moan and shake. I brought a hand back and slid 2 fingers into her fuckhole and she was wet and ready. So I sat up and slid my cock into her. I was still a little soft so it took a couple of tries but she lifted her legs to give me better access and I finally slid into her.

With my head up, I had a better view of what was going on. Heather had slid off of Bill and was sucking his cock while jacking him off into her mouth. Sara was lying on Bob kissing his neck. His cock had slid out of her snatch and I could see the cum starting to run out of her cunt.

Sally was lying on her neck and shoulders while Steve was pile driving her. She was pulling her nipples and moaning while he slammed his cock into her. I watched as he pulled out and aimed his spurts at her face. Watching all the wonderful fucking and sucking going on got me hard and the moans dirty talk coming out of Clarissa helped a lot. When I could feel her come again, I just stopped and throbbed my cock inside her.

She arched her back and hissed "I'm coming again. That feels so good. I can feel you coming inside me too. I love your cock inside me."

When she was done, I lay down on her and slid my cock out and kissed her. Then I got up and brought some food and more champagne into the living room. As everyone untangled themselves, I proposed another toast,

"The rose may kiss the butterfly,

the wine may kiss the crystal glass.

A girl may kiss her man goodbye,

but you, my friends, may pass the ass,

and share your spouse's pie."

We drank and we fucked and we ate and we sucked and eventually because no matter how hard the girls tried, we were all spent, we all slept.

In our little circle of the neighborhood, that was known as THE New Year's Eve party.