A Jock in the Machine Ch. 10

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in the story are over eighteen years old. Most of the main cast is exactly 18, but none are younger than that.

Chapter 10: Fall and Rise

'Ten minutes. That's all you've got.'

'Thanks, Jess. It'll be enough, I promise.'

It well damn better be. Jessica was taking a huge risk and if it didn't pay off, things would only get worse for her and her son. She had just lied to Tim about bringing lunch up to his room. Well, more of an afternoon snack, given the time, but she wasn't going to let him starve himself regardless. She'd finally managed to get him to tell her anything to cook up, and all he'd asked for was cereal. Some things never changed. Except it wouldn't be his mom bringing his food up - it would be Cassie's.

Just as Jessica had been coming back from the store with the requested "meal" in tow, she'd spotted an all-too-familiar car parked right outside their home. Ordinarily, she'd have been delighted at a visit from Lara. Ordinary was the last thing the past week or so had been. Still, she'd decided to knock on the car window and check what the visit was about. If only to make sure that Lara, and much more importantly her daughter didn't disturb Tim in the house.

Jessica had no clue what to expect when that car door opened. Her son hadn't really told her what had happened the previous day. But she could very well guess by the shouting, and the crying, and the door slamming, and him telling her to never let a certain someone into the house again, and then that certain someone spending almost half an hour constantly ringing the doorbell, banging on the door and crying for Jessica's son to speak with her, that it was Cassie related. Everything about it was strange. When Lara had called her a few weeks prior to let her know that they'd be moving back in town, Jessica had thought that was exactly what her son needed. But now, with all the constant crying and him getting kidnapped of all things, she was quickly losing faith in the two of them ever working out. And if what Lara had to say didn't sit well with her, Jessica had made her mind up that she was ready to cut all ties if need be.

As the car door had slowly opened, the image that had revealed itself was definitely not something Jessica had thought she'd see. She'd known Cassie's mom for just about fifteen years. In that time, the amounts of time she'd seen Lara cry could be counted on the fingers of one hand, with some to spare. That woman just didn't cry, unless it was something vitally important, and most likely Cassie related. In a way, much like her son. As much as Jessica had been resolved to make sure her son was okay, right in front of her was someone, who despite all that had been happening, was still a dear friend and needed some help. Jessica had no choice, nor did she really hesitate.

Once she'd helped Cassie's mom relax at least enough to be able to breathe in-between sobs, Jessica was finally told the story of the previous night. She'd listened patiently, but once she'd heard about Eric completely naked in Lara's house, she'd heard enough. There was nothing Lara could say that would change her mind - Tim did not need anyone like that. Her son deserved better.

Without saying a single word, Jessica had stormed off. But before she'd managed to make it to the house, Lara had chased her down, pleading with her to just listen her out. Jessica hadn't cared anymore at that point. With every word coming out of Lara's mouth Jessica was just feeling the desire to turn around and slap her. Or punch her. Or anything, just to send her away. And when Lara played her some message that Jessica couldn't care less about if she tried, and Eric's voice played, she had had enough.

They had been lucky it was mid-day. If it had been later, the sound of Jessica's palm colliding with Lara's face would have woken the entire street for certain. Just as Cassie's mom had stumbled back and Jessica was about to vent her frustrations and tell her to stay away from their house, Jessica had heard a voice. Tim's voice. Instinctively, she had turned back towards the house, but sure enough there had been no sign of him there. His voice had come from the message, still playing in Lara's hand. She'd refused to let it stop even as she recoiled back in shock and pain.

Just as Jessica had been resolved to end things for good, listening to that message and Lara's subsequent explanation had made her reconsider things greatly. As things often happened, one thing had led to another, and she was now letting Cassie's mom in Tim's room without her son even knowing about it. But, despite her hopes that things might get mended with her doing so, she knew one thing for certain: this was going to be the last opportunity for things to get better. If her son didn't want to listen to Lara, then nothing else would happen between the two families.

---------------------------------------------

'It'll be enough, I promise.'

Just as she said those words, the door shut in front of Lara. Now came the difficult part. She had no doubt Tim would be furious at seeing her. She just had to make sure she kept his anger focused on her and not on Jessica. The last thing Lara wanted was the risk Tim's mom took only getting turned around on her. With a sigh, Lara turned around to present Tim's food to him. Only to be met with him already looking at her.

'Tim! You're...'

'Awake? Yeah.' He was barely audible, but even as quiet as he was there was an undeniable sadness to his voice that Lara immediately made out.

'You're... not surprised to see me here?'

'I saw you out the window, talking to my mom.' Somehow, the fact that Tim's room faced the driveway had completely slipped Lara's mind. Tim lowered his head before continuing. 'I'm sorry she hit you.'

'Don't be, I deserved that.' As much as Lara was trying to keep things cool, she couldn't deny that no amount of preparation would have prepared her for this talk going the way it was going. To give herself a beat to compose herself, she walked over to sit on Tim's bed right by his legs. As she sat down, she handed him the bowl of cereal his mom had made. 'So, I guess you know why I'm here then?'

'Yeah...' Tim nodded as he took a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. He chewed it slowly, the crunch it made sounding louder than he was when he spoke.

Lara really didn't know how to go about what she had to say. All her preparation was for him being angry and her calming him down. But this? She was at a loss of action, and she hated when she was in such a spot.

'Look, I know what happened last night can't be easy for you, but there's something you really should kno-' That had been the best idea she'd come up with. Just tell Tim things straight. It seemed the smartest, considering not telling him the truth had led to the whole mess to begin with. Yet, just before she'd managed to tell him the really important part, he'd put his pointer finger up, signaling for her to wait. Lara did as asked, not wanting to push too much too fast out of fear Tim might just chase her out of the room. So she waited patiently for Tim to finish his almost painfully slow chew.

'I know.'

Lara didn't think anything could surprise her about the situation any more. And she was completely wrong. If she hadn't caught herself in time, her jaw would've dropped to the floor.

'You... know? About wha-' Tim didn't wait for her to finish. It was as if the whole situation had flipped over, and the two had exchanged places.

'About Eric, and the message.' Tim's voice didn't change at all while saying all that. Judging by Lara's shocked expression, he knew what her next question would be. 'Terry messaged me earlier. Explained everything.'

It took a moment for things to click in Lara's head, but when they did, her eyes lit up on the spot.

'That's great! What are you still doing in bed then?, Come on, get up and I'll drive you to my house and you can tal-'

'No.'

And just like that, Lara's enthusiasm died.

'What do you mean, no?'

'I'm not going.'

'Why not?!' Lara would have screamed that. Maybe she even did, she couldn't quite tell. She couldn't understand a thing she was hearing. 'Are you done with her, is that-'

'It's not that.' For the first time since she'd sat on the bed, Lara saw Tim lift his head to face her. Had she not been completely consumed by her non-understanding tantrum, she might have spotted the telltale signs of him barely convincing himself to speak at all. But to her, it was just a monotone voice that she was hearing. 'I love Cassie. I'll probably always love her.'

'Then what's the issue! She loves you too, you know!'

'I know, and she's wrong. She shouldn't love me.'

Lara had been on the verge of screaming just a moment ago. And now, she was finding herself at a loss for words again, something she really didn't enjoy.

'She shou- You- That's bullshit!' Yup, that was definitely a shout. And Jessica definitely heard it. That was it, the last stretch. Lara only hoped she'd have enough time to somehow change Tim's mind before his mom stormed into the room and kicked her out for good. 'She said the same thing about you last night and it was still bullshit! If you really think that then you're as big of an idiot as she is!'

Lara had been shouting at Tim while he calmly responded. That changed with Lara's last words.

'SHE'S NOT AN IDIOT!'

The sudden scream startled Lara in her seat. Tim had yelled at the top of his lungs, completely drowning her out and her ongoing tirade. Stunned mid-speech, Lara looked at him. She hadn't really paid him much attention when he was quiet, but now she could plainly see the look of sudden swelling anger on his face. Only for her last few words.

'This is for her own good! Do you know how shit it felt when I heard that stupid message? I made Cassie stay out in the rain crying to talk to me, and I could've just stopped it if I had listened and talked to her?! But I didn't do that! All I did was run away! Like I always do and always will do!'

Lara wasn't saying a word. She wasn't sure Tim would even allow her one. But she couldn't deny that no matter what reason he was giving, he sounded just like her daughter had when she talked about him.

'So much for me loving her! She rescued me and I couldn't even hear her out! What's gonna happen if I go and we make up and then we have a fight again down the line? I'm just gonna run away again and not even listen to her! Maybe it would've just been better if she never found me at all!'

To that, Lara had to respond. For all the stupid excuses she'd heard up till then, that one was crossing the line.

'Don't say that! Everyone was worried sick about you! I know you're emotional but you don't mean tha-'

That was all she managed to say before Tim interrupted her once again, tumbling in his bed.

'Don't I? I told all of you to just forget about me, didn't I? That woman told me to do it, and I did! I could've just begged for help but I didn't! If that's not meaning it then I don't know what is!'

No. Fuck this. Her daughter could wait. This was Tim being ungrateful past any known limits. Lara had to let him know it. But she wasn't going to shout. She now completely understood how he'd felt earlier when he was talking to her, quietly and to the point.

'If you truly believe that,' She started. Just as slow and quiet as Tim had been. Yet her voice cut through all the meaningless yelling and drowned it out completely. Just like Tim had spoken earlier, Lara's tone demanded attention. 'Then you're an even bigger idiot than Cassandra is for believing in yo-'

The sound of ceramic shattering interrupted Lara's sentence. With unbelievable speed, Tim had jumped off the bed, tossing the bowl of cereal to the floor. Lara had managed to follow his eyes the entire time, too focused on letting him know just how stupid the things he was saying were to realize the anger that had come upon his face.

'I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL HER THAT!'

Now that shout, everyone heard. The whole house, without a doubt. The entire street, most certainly. Hell, it wouldn't have surprised Lara if her daughter heard it all the way in her room.

'Of course I don't believe it! I hated everything in there and just as I had given up Cassie rescued me! I owe her my life!'

The anger disappeared the instant Cassie's name left his lips.

'There! I said it! It's all lies! I don't even want to imagine what my life would be like without Cassie! I lived it for four years and I never want to go back to that again! Are you happy now?'

His breathing grew more and more irregular with each word. Tim began pacing the room, no longer looking at Lara. She, however, never stopped following him as he trekked around, venting everything he had bottled up.

'Well I'm not! You know why? Because all I want is to run over and tell her that I can't and don't want to live without her and that I need her and that I need-'

'Then what's stopping you?'

'That I need-' Tim stopped mid-sentence. Despite his yelling, Lara's words had shoved their way through his ears. 'That i... need...' He stopped pacing around the room, instead looking frantically around it as if he'd been someplace else entirely up until then. Then he looked down at himself. 'I need pants.'

'What was that?' Lara spoke up. And this time, she did so with enthusiasm. She'd done it. No, that was a lie. She'd done nothing. Tim had done everything himself.

'Pants, uhh, where are... there!' The same pair of jeans he'd worn yesterday lay in a pile by the door. They could've been covered in shit for all he cared, he needed them immediately. 'I have to go!' Tim nearly fell over reaching for the door, one leg still not fully in the jeans. Just before he was about to head out, he turned around briefly. 'Uhm, sorry I yelled at you, ma'am'

Lara giggled. Still polite even in such a situation.

'Don't worry about me. Plus, I don't think you were really yelling at me.' She took her house keys from her pocket and tossed them to Tim. 'You'll need these.'

'Thank you.' Tim caught the keys and opened the door.

Jessica nearly fell on top of her son with the door opening. She managed to steady herself just in time, though that still left her explaining what she was doing outside the door. Not that it wasn't painfully obvious to everyone. She was just about to try and weasel her way out of it when Tim kissed her on the cheek and yelled bye as he was already halfway down the stairs. She sighed in relief: her gamble had paid off.

-------------------------------------

Tim ran the entire way to Cassie's house. He cared not for puddles, or mud, or even red lights. He had somewhere he had to be seven hours ago, and there was nothing that would slow him down. By the time he reached Cassie's house he was already sweating and struggling to breathe from the sprint he'd done. A quick fumble of the keys later and he was in. He managed to overcome the urge to just run upstairs for just long enough to lock the door behind him. But after that, it was just the home stretch. Once upstairs, he darted to the room at the end of the hallway. He didn't even pause to catch his breath before knocking on the door. If he did, he might hesitate or have second thoughts. He didn't want that. After waiting for a few moments with no response, he knocked again. This time, there was a response.

'Go away.'

No, he wasn't going to do that. He'd never forgive himself if he did. So he knocked again. The response was the exact same. It didn't deter him. Even if he was being more than a little annoying, Tim was resolved to speak with her. Plus, even when she was telling him to go away, he liked hearing her voice.

Yet another knock was made. But this time, instead of an annoyed voice responding to it, Tim heard the sound of slow footsteps coming closer and closer.

'I told you to fuck off, mo-' Cassie swung the door open. She hadn't wanted to speak to her mom in the morning and she sure as hell didn't want to do so now either. Yet instead of her mom, on the other side of the door was... 'Tim...'

'Cass...' Tim reached out almost instinctively to touch her. But instead, he found the door slammed in his face. Through the shock of it, he barely made out the sound of the lock turning. 'Cass?' He tried the handle anyway. Didn't budge. He knocked on the door again, louder than before. 'Cass!'

'No!'

'What?'

'Go away!' Cassie screamed at him from inside her room. Whereas previously she'd said it only because she'd thought it was her mother, now she was saying directly at Tim. And he knew it.

'What, why?!'

'Don't ask, just, please, go away!' She screamed once again. Tim wasn't sure, but he thought he also heard sobbing.

'Cass, come on, please, I'm sorry I stor-' Tim was immediately interrupted by an even louder yell.

'No! Don't be sorry! You haven't done anything wrong! I'm the one that should be apologizing!'

A short break came between her sentences. Tim had no doubt it was due to her crying. Fucks sake, he'd done it again.

'And even if I do, those apologies don't mean anything if I just fuck up in the exact same way again like I always do! So, please, for your own good, just go away and don't come back!'

Tim paused for a moment. Not because he was thinking of what to say. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. But rather, he couldn't help but ask himself if that's how he'd sounded to Lara just a short while ago. Damn, she had been right to yell at him.

'No.'

There was a brief silence following his response. Cassie was trying her best to just ignore it, cover her head with her pillow and just pretend Tim wasn't there. She was failing.

'Why not? It's for your own-'

'Don't say that.' Tim interrupted her. He could hear her yelling quieten down. 'You don't know what I want.'

'Yes I do!' And just like that she was back at max volume again. Tim really hated that the door was stopping him from getting in there and calming her down. But Cassie had been smart about it. She knew she'd lose immediately if Tim was in the same room as her. 'And you're wrong! You shouldn't want that! You should want someone better than me!'

'There is no one better, Cass.' Tim put his head against the door, if only to be just a tiny bit closer to Cassie.

'Yes there is! Anything is better than me! If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me, okay? Just please, go away, please...'

'No.' Tim slumped down till he was kneeling on the ground, propped up against the door.

'Why not! Why are you being so stubborn?'

'I'm not doing this for me, Cass. Or for you. I'm doing it for us.'

No response came that time. Tim didn't much mind it. At least it would give him some time to speak without Cassie's interruptions.

'Don't know if you're even listening, Cass, but I don't believe a single word you said. I don't think you do either. You wanna know why I'm not gonna just go away? Because if I do, I'll go back to being the sad, sorry mess I was for four years while you weren't here. You're the best thing that's happened to me my entire life, and I'm not going to walk away and give that to someone else. So if you won't come out of that room, then I guess I'll just have to stay by your door foreve-'

Tim hadn't realized just how much he had been leaning on the door. The realization came crashing down on him just as he came crashing down on the floor when the door opened. Before he could scurry back onto his feet, he saw Cassie kneel down by his head.

'I'm sorry.' Their gazes met. Tim saw that there were no more tears in her eyes. Just a faint smile on her lips. 'You're the best thing that's happened to me, too. So...' Before she could say another word, Tim deftly got up off the ground, never breaking eye contact with her. The moment he was back up on his feet, Cassie wrapped her arms around him. 'Please don't go.'