A Krissmas Karole

And Mai is in town! Mai is Lanh's mom, mother to eight grown children, Lanh and her two sisters and three brothers, plus Rosa, a rebellious Hispanic classmate of Lanh's who married Lanh's brother and is now the manager of their family restaurant, and now Mai is mother to Karole. What would Mai say if she knew about Karole's feelings toward her daughter's husband?

After Krissy was born and Karole was recovering from the delivery, before the doctor came in to discuss the delivery and Krissy's health, a knock came at her hospital room door and there was Mai and Sandy with their arms loaded with gifts for Krissy and flowers for Karole. Mai is Lanh's mother and Sandy is Don's stepmother, and they had traveled all the way from Minnesota to be there for her, and they stayed with her helping her out for nearly a month. Sandy is just the sweetest person she ever met, and Mai constantly demands that Karole drop everything and move to Minnesota to help Rosa run the family restaurant, and Karole wishes she could say yes. But Don is here in Colorado...

"Hello, Don? Hey, I'm running a bit late, the Uber is late and..."

"It's ok, we're reading stories," said Don. Karole could hear Krissy's babbling in the background, she's 11 months old and getting closer every day to speaking. "Listen, why don't you..."

Karole was distracted when the rain turned to snow like someone threw a switch, the snowflakes swirled around her like being in a snow globe. Don would love this; she thought as she gazed at the swirling flakes. They reminded her of the only place she ever felt at home, Minnesota. She chuckled; he would call this Christmas snow; however she knew that in the twenty miles between their two locations the weather patterns could be vastly different.

Smiling for the first time today, she noticed that the snowflakes had stopped, they were hovering in midair. She reached out to touch one and before she touched the snowflake, she felt a sudden jolt go through her. Not an electric shock, but like someone bumped her in the back. It was followed in rapid succession by ten more jolts and then someone appeared next to her. Surprised at the sudden appearance her feet slipped out from under her and Karole dropped to her hands and knees, her cell phone landed on the ground in front of her and Don was talking to her. She realized that she hadn't heard a word he said and was trying to look up at the person who appeared when the apparition spoke.

"Ok, let's get this started. We need to get this right; this is the last chance we get," said the apparition which had a familiar, haunting appearance...

...and then Karole recognized it and Karole's eyes rolled back in her head as she slumped to the ground.

Stave 2

Karole returned to consciousness and slowly sat up. "What happened?" she groaned.

"Same thing as what always happens," muttered a voice behind her. Karole heard the distinct sound of chewing and the popping of gum.

"Same thing as what always happens?" demanded Karole without turning around. She patted the back of her head and checked her hand for evidence of blood.

"You turn, see me, scream, and faint. Every time, like clockwork. I can't believe I became such a wimp."

Karole turned and saw a young woman dressed like a Country/Western version of Cindy Lauper. She was wearing a Garth Brooks concert T-shirt, over that a man's plaid work shirt tied off below her boobs, blue jeans, cowboy boots, a sweater tied around her waist, and enough cheap necklaces for a full Mardi Gras parade. And that hair, Ugh! A fluffy she-mullet with the last four inches of her platinum blond tresses died neon purple. She was leaning against the building playing with a familiar-looking phone. "That's my phone," Karole grunted as she tried to get her feet under her, but the walk was slippery with the ice from the rain and now a dusting of the newly fallen snow.

"Correction, it's OUR phone, they don't have cool stuff like this in my time yet." The young woman looked down at Karole, and Karole froze; that voice, the hair, the attitude, it's Karole 12 years ago. The young Karole looked at her and grinned as if waiting for something. She finally hefted her large firm boobs and asked, "Do these things ever stop growing?"

Karole's head spun; she was a "late bloomer" as her mother called her. When she hit the age of 16 none of the promised secondary sex characteristics had appeared, but within a year they struck with a vengeance. She was buying a new bra every month and her so-called friends in high school accused her of "stuffing" until they saw the changes that occurred to her body in the gym locker room, then they accused her of "silicone poisoning." She would be in college when her body finally settled down, but not after growing several inches in height and settling on a 34 DD bra.

This child that stood before her had all the ear marks of an 18-year-old Karole, right down to the shoulder length platinum blond hair with the final four inches died neon purple. "Who the hell are you?" Karole groaned as she tried to stand again, but her feet kept slipping on the ice-covered sidewalk.

"Honey chil', ah am you," grinned the girl. "You 'n me, we all are one, did'n that peckerwood Marley tell you ah'd be coming?"

"Who?" Karole was in utter shock.

"The Uber driver! Marly!" demanded the punk version of Karole.

"I'm still waiting for him." Marly was an Uber driver? Now Karole was confused. "The guard we call Marly told me some weird shit about three spirits tonight."

Karole shook her head in disbelief and the younger version of her threw a fit. She stomped her foot and looked to the heavens and shouted "He's the guard now? Nobody tells me nothing around here!" Karole swore she heard the roll of distant thunder when the young woman shouted. She then looked down at an astonished Karole and extended a hand to help Karole up. "Oh hell, come on Gawd dog it, let's git this over, and you gotta git it raht this time, 'cause we don't have 'nuff time left for no more chances, now git yo ass up!"

Karole took the girl's hand and she eased herself up to her feet, and when she did, she felt light as a puff of wind, as substantial as a dust mote drifting through a warm sunbeam in a summer living room. Karole released the girl's hand and looked down and saw that her body was still kneeling on hands and knees on the icy sidewalk. "What is this? I must have hit my head; I must be hallucinating..." she started to panic.

"Well, if that's the deal, then you need to call 911," said the girl who held out the phone to Karole. Karole tried to take the phone, but it slipped right through her fingers and landed on the sidewalk in front of the stricken Karole on the ground. She stooped to pick it up, but her hand went right through it and right through the sidewalk also.

"What the fuck?" Karole cried.

The girl grabbed Karole's shoulders and hauled her up to a standing position, "Look, here's the deal you're going to meet a ghost that's going to scare the living shit out of you, it's my job to get you ready for that. Because if you blow it again..."

The girl raised a fist in a threat, and that's when Karole realized she could see through the spirit's fist, and when she raised her hand to block the blow, she discovered she could see through her own hands also. While Karole was pondering this, the girl continued. "Look, I am you, I just graduated high school and I lost my virginity to Micky Fields under the grandstands at Charlton County high. It sucked and so far, it's been the best sex I've ever had, please tell me it gets better."

"It... it kinda does," sputtered Karole who was still marveling over her see-through hands.

"Here's the deal, I'm going to show you some things. Pay attention, if we do it right, you're going to save a very important life."

"Who, Tiny Tim?"

Karole Past suddenly grew dark and angry. "You can't possibly believe how important this life is," she growled slowly. Karole swore she could hear thunder in the distance as Past Karole raged.

"Ok, ah'm sorry, who are we going to save? What do ah have to do?"

"Take my hand and follow me," said an angry Past Karole. Karole took Past Karole's hand and followed her through Torgeson and Briggs Financial Consulting's front door, but instead of the lobby, they entered a hospital room. There on the bed lay a woman who was clearly in the last few minutes of her life. In the room there was a doctor and two nurses, and the woman's family. An older couple, who were probably her parents, a man in his twenties, and a young boy about seven.

"It's ok mommy," whispered the little boy who was trying to be brave, "I can take care of daddy."

"I know you can dear," gasped the dying woman. Her once youthful, beautiful face was a rictus of agony.

The doctor wordlessly gestured to the nurses and the three medical professionals left the room so the family could be alone with the woman and say their goodbyes. They had no way of knowing that "I know you can dear" would be her last words.

Karole and Past Karole watched as the family spent their last few minutes with the dying woman. Finally, Karole whispered softly "What are we doing here?"

Past Karole said in a plain voice "You don't have to whisper; they can't hear you."

"Ok," said Karole still whispering, "what are we doing here?"

"I can't tell you, it's one of those things you need to figure out for yourself."

Karole rolled her eyes in disgust. Was she such an asshole at 18? If she were honest with herself the answer would be yes, but years of taunting and being called the "Carpenters Dream" (flat as a board and never been nailed) then suddenly being called "more boobs than brains" in high school was partially to blame and having the type of mother who celebrated Karole's high school graduation by drinking herself unconscious at Karole's graduation ceremony had a lot to do with it also. And if she was honest, she hasn't changed much in the past 6 years. "What does this have to do with me?" she asked in her angry mom's voice.

"It DOESN'T. It has nothing to do with YOU," shrieked Past Karole. "Not everything is about YOU. There happens to be a FEW OTHER PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET." Past Karole crossed her arms and stared at the dying woman, ignoring Karole's pleas and demands for an explanation. Finally, the woman passed on, the heart monitor began screaming its plaintive wail that all cardiac activity has stopped. Her family grieved their loss and hated themselves for feeling relief that the woman's suffering, and theirs,4 was over. Tears flowed in the room and one tear trickled down Past Karole's cheek.

"There you go," Past Karole finally said. "Lesson over, moving right along..."

"You're crying?" asked Karol, "I thought you said it meant nothing to us."

"YOU watch this play out a dozen times, maybe you'll learn some empathy. Maybe you'll shed a tear for someone other than yourself. I CAN FUCKING ARRANGE IT!"

"I just wanted to know," whined Karole, her voice trailing off.

"Oh, and by the way. Merry Fucking Christmas," sneered Past Karole. "That kid's Christmas present was to watch his mother die slowly in agony. You know, there just might be something worse in this world than someone calling you Christmas Karole... Just sayin'... bitch."

Past Karole led Karole through the weeping family that was gathered around the hospital bed, and through the hospital room door that didn't lead into the hospital corridor, but instead led into a high school gymnasium. The gym was decorated for a holiday dance, red and green crape paper streamers lined the walls, Christmas trees with gayly wrapped boxes sat in each corner, a DJ dressed as Santa Claus spun actual records, while faculty and parents stood at the ready to quash any and all unauthorized necking, canoodling, or touching. In the corner a group of boys, probably high school seniors, were taunting a younger boy.

"Check this out," Past Karole told Karole, "It's a great trick, these boys are friends with the DJ, so they know when a fast song will lead into a slow dance. They're going to trick that nerdy sophomore to ask a nerdy wallflower to a fast dance, but instead it will be a slow romantic dance, and everyone can all make fun of their embarrassment. Check this out."

"Why would they do that?"

"To embarrass the crap out of two unpopular nerds! You need to see this."

Karole, who was the butt of numerous merciless jokes during her entire high school experience, didn't want to watch. The thought of bullies humiliating younger and weaker kids made her stomach turn. "No, I don't want to..."

"Just Watch." Past Karole's forceful voice no longer needed to be accompanied by a distant roll of thunder. Out of fear Karole watched.

"Go on man, it's going to be hilarious," Bully #1 egged on the Butt of the Joke. The Butt of the Joke was short, skinny, wore outdated worn-out clothes and cheap eyeglasses held together with electrical tape. He could have been good looking if it wasn't for an embarrassing acne eruption.

Bully #2 gave the Butt of the Joke a knowing elbow, "yeah, she's going to be all spastic with her arms and hair flying around."

Bully #3 put a fatherly hand on the Butt of the Joke's shoulder. "Come on dude, what do you have to lose? Besides, there may be a spot opening up for a sophomore on the swim team, Jamie Davidson's family is moving at the end of the quarter, we'll need a middle-distance swimmer."

The Butt of the Joke loves swimming, and he had heard about Jamie's family moving, but he knew he'd never make the swimming team. "You think it will happen?" he asked about the girl, not the swim team.

"He doesn't care about the swim team," whispered Past Karole conspiratorially, "he just wants to dance with a girl. He's tired of being lonely."

"Why doesn't he just ask her himself?"

"You've never been so depressed that you're terrified to talk to anyone other than that stupid ol' one eye cat or that witch out in the swamp?" demanded Past Karole. Karole winced; Grandma Noah was her only friend in middle school and Mr. Peepers was her only friend during high school.

"Dude! It's in the bag! All you have got to do is ask Miss Prim and Proper out on the dance floor. These guys say that the next song is going to be a real rocker."

The Butt of the Joke muttered "But I can't dance."

"Dudes aren't expected to know how to dance, girls practice all the time. My dolly tells me that this bitch is so spastic she can't even tie her shoes without falling over," grinned Bully #2. "Now go!" and Bullies #1 and #2 gave the Butt of the Joke a shove.

As the Butt of the Joke walked slowly across the dance floor Karole's stomach was tied up in knots. "I can't watch this," she moaned. Her stomach was really starting to hurt for those poor kids.

"Watch," hissed Past Karole, "believe me, it's a riot."

The Butt of the Joke walked up to a group of girls who parted like the Red Sea before Moses, revealing Miss Prim and Proper, a tiny, little Asian girl with waist length black hair, thick square glasses, and a mouthful of braces. "Care to... I mean would you... uhh... like..." the Butt of the Joke was dying; he hasn't spoken to a girl since the second grade, and that was his dying mother and now he's suddenly come face to face with her.

"He's been in love with this girl for a year and she doesn't know he exists!" Past Karole said with a grin. "He's a true candidate to be a stalker."

"Dance? She'd love to!" called out one of the girls standing with Miss Prim and Proper. Obviously, the girls were in on the joke too. They pushed the girl out onto the dance floor where she stood staring at the lanky young boy. Now that they stood looking at each other Karole recognized them immediately and gasped realizing that this was a moment in history.

"Oh God," groaned Karole, "those poor kids!" but Past Karole just grinned.

The song was coming to an end and the gyrations of the other dancers slowed as the song faded. "I really don't dance," said the Butt of the Joke.

"I don't either," said Miss Prim and Proper so quietly that he could barely hear her.

"It'll be fun," assured the Butt of the Joke trying to bolster his own courage, then suddenly his heart sank. Elton John began singing and everyone in the gym could name that tune by the opening three notes. Karole whimpered and stifled a moan of sadness for the two embarrassed nerds.

It's a little bit funny

This feeling inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money, but boy if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

"Your Song by Elton John! oh God" groaned the Butt of the Joke inwardly, one of the sappiest, most romantic slow dances on earth! Normally all the dating couples would step out on the dance floor but the Butt of the Joke and Miss Prim and Proper were all alone out there, and a spotlight just illuminated them.

"Oh no," gasped Karole, "the whole damn school was in on it! Those bastards! Those cocksuckers!" She was actually starting to cry for those kids, it reminded her of a Steven King novel, she expected someone to grow ten feet tall and tear apart everyone involved or some other Steven King madness. She looked over at Past Karole, but Past Karole just watched those kids, just 2 years younger than her, and she smiled a wistful smile.

"I could watch this part over and over for the rest of my life," she whispered to no one in particular.

Both the Butt of the Joke and Miss Prim and Proper decided "what the hell" when they realized that they were both the Butt of the Joke. After a moment of fumbling, they figured out how to place their hands, Don even held her right hand with his left hand because he saw it in a movie. The last female whose hand he touched died before his eyes nine years ago. With more confusion than they could have believed possible, they started rocking in time to the music. Finally, the Butt of the Joke said "Hi, I'm Don."

"I'm Lanh," muttered Miss Prim and Proper.

Don had seen her name in the town paper when she and her family moved to town. "I know, Lanh Nu-guy-en?" Don suddenly blushed crimson red, here he was dancing with a girl, the Whole School was watching them, and he slaughtered her name. He was so embarrassed; he nearly ran from the gym. God! She's so cute! He's been stalking her with his eyeballs since their freshman year.

Lanh gently giggled. "It's pronounced N'win."

"How do you get Win out of Nguyen?"

Lanh looked up at Don and shrugged. "Don't know!" and she giggled again, but it wasn't a nervous giggle, it was more of a giggle of relief. He was a real person!

"I like the way you laugh," smiled Don, terrified that if he said the wrong thing she'd run from him, and he'd be alone... again.

"I like the way you blush," smiled Lanh, "it's cute," which made Don blush even more. Suddenly Lanh gasped "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No, it's ok, it's just... I've never..." Don sputtered trying to explain the ocean of feelings that were exploding in his head, how do you tell someone that you fell in love on first sight over a year ago? And as their embarrassment faded and their friendship blossomed, they stopped their Frankenstein-like rocking and began swaying to the music. They didn't become Fred and Ginger, but they became comfortable with each other. Little by little their bodies grew closer together. "Awwww," sighed Karole as the young couple grew closer together, and their eyes remained locked, the world around them disappeared and Elton continued singing.

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind

That I put down in the words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

"Lanh told me about this," said Karole softly remembering their conversation over a glass of wine one dark evening. "I didn't realize..." the words caught in her throat as she watched her dear friends meet. "She said it was so awkward and embarrassing. It's not, it's sweet."