A Letter from Isabel

A Letter from Isabel

(Isabel answers A Letter to Isabel)

By

littleOneWon

Note: This is an addition to A Letter to Isabel by BlackHeart93.

BlackHeart93 has done a great job of finishing many stories by other authors. His Isabel story is an original and it stands alone just fine. Even so, for some reason it made me wonder about Isabel's side of the story. I asked for permission to tell her side and he gave me the go-ahead. This will not make any sense until you read his story. Of course, it might not make sense even then! To say the least, it's a far departure from my usual stuff. BTW, be sure to mark BlackHeart93's author page and read his other stories. You'll be glad that you did.

My dearest James,

Honey, I received your letter today. It's so good to get a letter from you. Do you realize it's the first letter you've written to me in fifteen years? I can't begin to tell you how special it is.

I'm anxious to see you and talk to you about what you wrote. We're supposed to meet next Thursday. I'm looking forward to it even more than usual.

Now, however, I will answer your letter. I will go through what you wrote step by step as much as possible.

Before I get started, I want you to know that I've put your ring on our dresser. I was very surprised to find it in the envelope with your letter. I'm still wearing mine and I don't intend to take it off -- ever.

I understand that you put your thoughts in a letter to avoid the acrimony that you suspected would occur during a face-to-face confrontation. You said that it would be easier for both of us in the long run. I understand that.

You stated that you were convinced that I have been unfaithful to you and our marriage vows. You said that you had suspected it for months! You hoped that you had hidden your hurt well enough that I didn't know you knew. How I wish you had told me what you suspected. Why did you keep it to yourself for months? Yes, you did a very good job of hiding your feelings. You are right in believing that I had no idea that you thought I was having a long-term affair.

You mentioned that we needed to consider finances, property, and our children. You wanted me to know how you discovered that I was "fucking" the "asshole". You stated that your letter allowed you to describe how deeply I had hurt you and to tell me of the anger, and even rage, that you have been keeping locked up inside your soul. You needed to vent those feelings before we could move on.

I thought we were better at communicating than that. How I wish you had vented all of that when you first suspected those things. You gave me no chance to explain. Your letter gives me that chance and I will do my best right now.

I agree with you that our marriage got off to a good start. Yes, it was a small miracle that we even met. We were both a long way from home. We were in Chicago because of our jobs. We were attending a business convention. We talked a few times at that convention and we ended up having dinner together. We learned that we had a lot in common. We left that convention wanting to have a relationship. I would go so far as to say that we were falling in love. After that, we grew our relationship in ways that led to our eventual engagement and marriage.

I want to start by telling you how much I regret the travel that was associated with my job. I'm sorry that I didn't take the necessary actions to stop that. I guess I was afraid that doing so would affect my status with the company. I gave my job precedence over my marriage. I should have done just the opposite. Understandably, you became upset by my frequent absences. Especially the ones that occurred on special occasions. There are so many ways that I should have been a better wife.

If I could go back and change just one thing, I would have seen to it that we spent our 24th anniversary together. How I wish that you had put that anniversary card and bottle of perfume in my suitcase. They might have rattled my soul and made me see the folly of being away from you on our very special day. If I had seen that card and the bottle of perfume, hopefully, I would have turned around and headed back home. Instead, I did miss our anniversary! In my heart, I knew it was wrong. In fact, I was expecting a thunderstorm when I got home, but everything was calm and the sky was clear. That made me think that you didn't care. Boy, was I wrong!

Yes, part of my away-from-home routine was to call you and the kids every evening. I thought 7 pm would be a good time for everyone. Now I find out that you were convinced that as soon as I finished the call I headed to my lover's room. You saw my phone call as a deception to satisfy you and the kids so you wouldn't call me when I was with my lover for the rest of the evening and night.

Here's the truth: I was always uncomfortable with participating in those conferences. I hoped it would get better with time, but it didn't. I still dreaded public speaking and worried about getting a good night's sleep before giving my presentations. For that reason, when I finished talking to you and the kids, I put my cell phone in airplane mode and unplugged the room phone. I didn't see anything wrong with being out of touch since I had already talked to you. I just wanted to ensure a good night's sleep so I would be able to handle my duties the following day.

In the same vein, I also put the 'Do not Disturb" sign on my door. That's why they didn't deliver your flowers that night before our anniversary. They waited until I removed the sign the next morning. I can see how you misconstrued what I told you when I called, but I told you the complete truth.

I also understand your concern about some of the clothes that I packed for the conferences. I usually didn't need any fancy items, but there were times when a "bigwig" from our company or one of our clients invited some of us to special dinners or parties. I had to be prepared, just in case. As I said, I hardly ever used those items.

As for the negligee and fancy bedclothes, I used them in an attempt to force myself to think of those lonely nights as something different than what they were. You didn't mention finding my vibrator in the suitcase, but it played a big part in those fantasies. I would dress for bed in those hot clothes, get out my vibrator, and pretend that you were there with me. It helped me stay sane through the lonely nights away from you.

I was taken aback when you came to believe that I was meeting a man and having an affair at those conferences. There were occasions when I had lunch or dinner with a client, but I never went to anyone's room or invited them to mine; let alone spending the night with them.

I can only hope that you will see things clearer now. I hope it will mean that our eight months of hell will be over. I hope that you are progressing to the point of understanding what happened. I pray that you are finding it in your heart to forgive me for failing you. How I wish I had stayed home, especially on our special occasions.

You mentioned that you were concerned about the affection that I showed for "Floyd." Yes, I did spend a lot of time with him. Yes, I did have a deep affection for him. I saw him as the answer to our problems, not the cause of them.

In your letter, you mention reports from an organization called SIS. Their reports seemed to bother you a lot. After reading that, I called lawyers and private investigators asking about SIS. I even checked with our city and state police forces. None of them knew anything about an organization known as SIS.

Let me say this about SIS or any other spying entity. If there was one thing that our company took seriously, it was industrial espionage. Our security team was second to none and they swept the conference rooms and our hotel rooms several times a day looking for spying devices. They have the best detection equipment available. If there were any microphones, cameras, or other spying devices present, they would have been discovered without fail. Anyone that told you they had that kind of information from our rooms was just taking your money and faking the evidence.

Along those same lines, I talked to Maria Arango about your "assignment" in South America. She was reluctant to talk to me. I think she blames me for what's happened to you, and rightly so. She finally relented and told me that she didn't know anything about your company having a branch in South America. She thought it was something that I had just made up! She assured me that you have not been reassigned to South America. She also said that you never talked to her about going there with you. Furthermore, she said that Miguel, her husband --who is very much alive -- would not stand for anything like that!

I was really upset to hear that you want a divorce. Just so you know, the contact information that you furnished for your divorce attorney turned out to be the contact information for Dr. Floyd.

After talking to Maria, I called Jeff Arnold, your attorney. He assured me that you had not talked with him about getting a divorce.

I have to consider all of these inconsistencies in your letter in relation to what happened on that final fateful night when I should have been at home with you. I'm talking about when I arrived at yet another conference on the evening before your birthday. I told you we would make it up on the weekend, but there was no excuse for me to do such a dastardly thing. I put my job ahead of my marriage one last time.

Things started going to hell when I made my usual call home at 7 pm. There was no answer from you, so I left a message asking you to call me. I figured you were in the shower or outside without your phone. I talked to Ana and Jimmy, but I forgot about needing to talk to you and went to bed. I was worried about tomorrow's presentation when I should have been worried about you failing to call me as I had requested.

The next morning at breakfast, it dawned on me that you hadn't called me back. I called you right then. Once again there was no answer. I called our landline and your office phone with no luck. I was officially worried. I called Ana and asked if she could check on you. She said, "Mom, he's coming to my place tonight to celebrate his birthday. I'll talk to him then. Jimmy will be here too. I'll tell Dad that you wish him a happy birthday."

I told her that I was worried and needed her to check on you as soon as possible. She agreed to do so.

I finally got a call from her just as I was entering the main conference room. She had found you unconscious in our backyard. The extension ladder was laying on top of you. Your head was covered in dried blood. It was apparent that you had fallen, probably from the roof. She called 911.

The ambulance arrived. The medics said your heart was beating, but you were not responding to them. They took you to St. David's hospital. You were currently in the imaging department. Ana was waiting for word on your condition. She feared for your life. I was crying because I was hundreds of miles away trying to further my career at a time when I should have been at home preparing to celebrate your birthday.

The scans they took confirmed that you had suffered some brain damage. You were still drifting in and out of consciousness. It was my fault!

As they say, "it is what it is." Here I am putting my hopes in a letter from you. A letter that is full of errors. Much of what you wrote is inaccurate, but understandably so. Just the fact that you are finally able to write me a letter is a fantastic step forward in your recovery process. To discover that you thought I had cheated on you broke my heart. I'm still crying as I write this response to your letter.

I know I didn't do the things you accused me of, but I'm crying because I know that I'm ultimately responsible for your condition. If I had been at home, I would have lassoed you, if necessary, to keep you off of that ladder. I wasn't, so I didn't, and you did, and here we are.

Now, I just want you to understand everything. Perhaps when I visit next Thursday, we can begin to converse like we used to. We need to start by separating facts from fiction. Then we must renew our love and our marriage.

To that end, we need to trust Dr. Floyd. I think his counseling sessions with you and the medications he prescribed are beginning to work. I see light at the end of the tunnel. I see you leaving that room and returning to our house. I hope, indeed I pray, for your continued progress.

Until you can have faith in me, have faith in Dr. Floyd. He is not your enemy. Furthermore, he has never been my lover. He is a doctor doing his best to help us -- nothing more.

Dr. Floyd has explained how you came to suspect an affair between him and me. Sometimes, early on, your eyes were open but you weren't completely awake. He said when you were in that semi-awake condition you probably mistook our whispered conversations about you as something entirely different. Rest assured, those conversations were about your condition and the steps that needed to be taken for your recovery. They were not romantically-related messages between lovers. They were medically-related conversations between your wife and your doctor.

Next Thursday will mark eight months since your accident. I may never know why you were on the ladder that evening or why no one found you till morning. While you were laying there in pain, I was resting peacefully in preparation for my conference presentation. If I had been home, none of this would have happened.

Finally, know this: being without you for these eight months has been almost unbearable. I miss the husband that loved me more than life itself. Ana and Jimmy miss you just as much as I do. I want my husband back and they want their dad back. Honey, please come back to us. Your letter is a big first step. In it, I finally see a glimpse of the man that I loved and married. The misinformation and misconceptions are there, but there is also hope. I think we have something to build on now.

I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. One last time, I take the blame for what happened to you. I should have stayed home. I don't travel anymore, but it's too little too late. While I must admit that I let you down, I want you to know that I've never had an affair with anyone and I've loved you since that first day in Chicago. I've told you how much I love you too many times to count and I will keep repeating it until you believe me.

Your Loving Wife

Isabel

Isabel's note to the reader:

I called Dr. Floyd after I received the letter from James. Dr. Floyd said that James had been suspecting that I was cheating long before his accident. "He began suspecting it when you were gone for your 24th wedding anniversary. He even went so far as to arrange a trap for you! That was when he sent those anniversary flowers and made those calls to your room during the night. In his mind, you failed the test. At that point, he began thinking about having an investigator confirm his suspicions.

"All of that was on his mind when his life was upended by his fall. It's the nature of the mind to fill in the blanks. The mind abhors blanks just like nature abhors a vacuum. During those days when he was alternating between a coma and wakefulness, his damaged mind filled in the blanks.

"Since I was called to his bedside nearly every time that he entered a wakeful state, I became one of the players in his drama. When he saw 'Floyd' on my lab coat, I became the 'fill-in' for the lover that he already suspected. On his wall he saw some big letters reading 'SIS.' They were displayed above the Sign In Sheet that everyone was required to initial when entering his room. Those letters became the SIS investigation agency in his befuddled mind. They confirmed his suspicions about your 'affair.' Do you see how it all comes together? His troubled brain picked up 'bits and pieces' and joined them together to produce the explanation for questions that had haunted his mind for a long time. Your lover was 'Floyd' and 'SIS' was an 'agency' that could uncover the truth about your affair. Yes, it seems strange, but the brain works in mysterious ways; especially when it is recovering from damage."

Dr. Floyd admitted that he helped James write his letter. He said that James needed to put his thoughts on paper for cathartic purposes. It was the first step in a multi-step process that would eventually lead James to the truth. It might take weeks or it could be just a matter of days.

He said, "I can assure you that you will have your husband back soon. He will have a healthy mind when I dismiss him. It will be up to you to do your part to ensure that his mind remains healthy. You must reassess your priorities and give your marriage the emphasis that it deserves."

I assured him that I had already made those changes. "I secured a lateral transfer at work into a position that requires no convention attendance or any other kind of travel. While my career may suffer, I hope to preserve what means the most to me: my marriage and my family."

The End

I loved many of the statements you wrote, but you have some things majorly wrong. You have quite a few misconceptions. With all that's happened, I can understand why. Just the fact that you wrote the letter is a big step forward. I'm overjoyed!