Ten Long Years

I would like to thank my friend Randi, for her generosity, and her editing skills. She turns my scribbles into something that is at least legible. Thank you Randi.

It seemed strange pulling into this driveway. It had been over ten years since I was there last. Shutting off the engine, I leaned back in the seat and stretched. It had been a long drive and I was feeling it.

Taking my time, I cast my eyes over the old place. God, ten years and it looked like yesterday. Not a damned thing had changed. Throwing open the door, I stepped out into the bracing late afternoon air. It was autumn, and the night air was just a tad chillier than a month before.

Walking around the car, I waved my arms, throwing off the tired muscles.

"All right, here we go," I said to myself. "Let's get this over."

I banged on the front door and waited. I heard the footsteps, the door swung open and my Mother asking. "Hello..."

"Hey, Mum." I mumbled.

Her shock was obvious, her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped open. "Rory..." I could see her trying to get words to formulate. "Sorry, love, we didn't think you would come."

"To my Fathers funeral? Of course I came."

She stepped into the door and opened her arms. "Oh, Rory love, it's good to see you." She stepped back giving me the once over. "You're filled out."

"Yeah, eating too much, not enough exercise. How are you holding out, Mum?"

I felt her body trembling as she sobbed, the front of my cotton shirt damp with her tears.

She stepped back and I walked into our family home. Like the outside, nothing much had changed. I heard chatter coming from the dining room at the back. I glanced at Mum, and she said, "Your sisters are here, as well."

A young boy came barrelling up the hallway, screaming, "Gran, you have to come quick, there's somebody on the phone for you."

She smiled and gave me a pat on the arm. "Everybody's in the dining room. Come along, they are all going to be so surprised."

The little boy gave me a big smile before running back up the hallway.

I followed Mum as she walked into the dining room. "Look who's here," she warbled nervously.

The chatter had been loud, with lots of gossipy giggling, but the moment they turned to see who it was, the chatter stopped; it didn't die slowly, it just stopped dead.

The expression on my eldest sister's face was a picture. "Rory," she gasped.

"Hello, Sloane, how are you?"

My other sister, Lila, snorted. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the funeral, what the hell do you think?"

"Ten years and you think you can just walk in here? You haven't wanted a bloody thing to do with us. Christ, what a bloody cheek."

I watched the little boy standing beside Sloane, peering over the chair. His eyes showed a little anxiety, the raised voices obviously scaring him.

Mum walked back in, having finished her phone call. "Would you like something to eat, Rory?"

"Nah, no thanks, Mum. I thought I would just stop in and say hello. See if you needed a hand."

"Son, how did you hear about your father?"

"Uncle Albert called me."

Her face was a picture of shocked confusion. "He knew where you were?"

"Yeah, he had my number for emergencies."

She rubbed her hands together nervously. "He never mentioned that."

"I asked him not to. Don't blame him." The chilly atmosphere started to get to me. "Okay, I might go and sort out a hotel."

"You can stay here, Rory; there's no need to run off," Mum threw back quickly.

"No, I think I will find a hotel. Others may need a room. I don't want to put you out."

"This is your home, Rory. I would like you to stay." A hint of determination came filtering through.

With a resigned sigh, I replied. "Yeah, okay, Mum. I'll go out and get my bags."

As I walked out the hallway, the chatter started, except this time it was snarly. The girls weren't happy. "Fuck them," I said to myself.

Extracting my backpack, I locked the car and headed back to the battle ground. "Which room Ma?" I called from the hallway.

"Your old room, of course."

Swinging open my old bedroom door was again like being transported back in time. It was exactly like I left it. As I threw my back pack on the bed, I noticed the young kid standing in the doorway staring at me. "Hey, what's your name?" I asked.

He just stared at me, his fingers holding onto the door frame. He was apparently shy. "You can come in you know, I don't bite."

I decided to reach out my hand, but as soon as I did, he took off like a scalded cat.

I opened a window to let some fresh air in and stretched out on the bed. I guess the driving had tired me out more than I realised. Within moments of my head hitting the pillow, I was asleep.

it was a deep sleep, interrupted by dreams. The images were crystal clear. My dad and I kicking the football around, going fishing. When I was young, we were so close. A shame it ended so bitterly. I still remember the lecture he gave me the day I left town. I wasn't planning on leaving, but I was sick of my family trying to force a reconciliation between my ex-wife Skye and me. Bloody hell, the bitch cheated on me, and they all expected me to just accept her apology and forgive and forget. Oh, hell no. That's not something you get over quickly.

After months of ongoing arguments and lectures from my parents and my sisters, I decided that was it. I packed up my shit, drove away and never came back. Well, not till today. As much as I hated the fighting and bickering, he was still my father and there were good memories, as well as the last bitter acrimonious ones.

I woke startled, the cold breeze drifting in through the open window. God, poor old Dad. Those last few weeks were terrible; we almost came to blows. He was so angry with me for not being mature enough to accept Skye's apology. He wanted me to just forget. Hah, fat chance of that. Fuck, we had only been married two years, and she couldn't keep her legs closed for that long. What chance did the future hold?

My heart pounded frantically, all those old emotions came rushing up my oesophagus.

I know Skye was close to the family, in fact, she was like part of the family. She was Sloane's best friend. They were closer than Sloane and Lila. I remember how disgusted Sloane was when Skye and I started dating. It took Skye months to win back Sloane's trust and friendship. After that they went back to being best friends, Lila was close to Skye, as well, not joined at the hip like Sloane, but they grew close.

Skye and Mum, that was tough, Skye came from a broken home, her mother divorced three times, and she hated all her step fathers. Her real father left town, never to be seen again. Yeah, that I could understand. I couldn't get out of town fast enough, either.

I walked out to the sound of gossip again. When I popped my head around the corner and said, "Mum, I'm gonna grab a shower," it all stopped again. Wow, after ten years, I expected some of the animosity to have abated. Apparently not, because Sloane gave me a very dirty look.

Enjoying the stinging jets in the shower I sighed. "Should have gone to a motel."

I changed quickly, and when I got out the house had filled. There were a couple of faces I didn't recognise. Mum did the introductions and there were handshakes all round. I didn't recognise the faces, but the names sounded mildly familiar.

That's how it is growing up in small towns: everybody knows everybody, ah, and of course, their business.

The guys were at least interested in me, Hank, Lila's husband, asked what I did for a living, where I lived. All the usual stuff, and we ended up talking football, much to the girls' disgust. Lila gave Frank the evil eye every time he asked another question. Her eyes were saying, "What the fuck are you talking to him for?"

Mum busied herself preparing dinner, and Lila and Sloane joined in to give her a hand. Mike, Hank and I started talking about the funeral and services. They had already started to prepare lists for everything. Catering, drinks, cars, it was when they got to pallbearers that I got the shock.

They already had the six names down, and my name wasn't on there. "Well, I want to be one of the pallbearers. He was my father."

"Like hell, Rory." Sloane snarled. There's no way dad would want you. Christ you didn't even talk to him."

"I don't care, I'm going to be a pallbearer at my own fathers funeral, so suck it up, Sloane."

Her husband Mike jumped in. "You can take my spot, man. No big deal."

"No!" Sloane screamed. "Don't you idiots understand? Dad left instructions on who he wanted. That's why those damn names are on that list."

That stunned me. "Sloane..." I started to respond, but she cut me off. "No, Rory, those were Dad's wishes. You can't walk in here after ten years and expect everything to be forgiven. It doesn't work that way."

"Oh, yeah, it was all right for my wife to fuck another guy and you thought that was okay. Fucking hypocrite."

Mum screamed. "Stop it!" She glanced around the group, her face taut filled with determination. "I will not have that language in my house. Think about Dylan. He doesn't need to hear that."

"Who's Dylan?" I asked.

Hank pointed to the young boy. "Yes, perhaps we could all just calm down. Sloane, I'm sure your father would want Rory to be part of this. Just because they hadn't spoken doesn't mean he didn't want him to be a pallbearer. I think we need to think very carefully."

Mum started banging plates and cutlery down on the table, and we all slipped into silence. The stern look on her face meant there was no arguments there.

I noticed as she set the table

Just then the front door bashed open and I heard a voice I knew only too well call out, "Sorry I'm late, Mum, work was so busy."

The young boy, who I was starting to wonder if he might be mute, ran headlong towards the voice screaming. "Mum!"

I gave my mother a very dark look. She held it defiantly.

The table was silent as Skye walked in with Dylan by her side. "Yeah sorry, Mum, god, I thought today was never going to end." She walked around the table and leaned in for a kiss with my Mother.

She must have sensed the dark mood, she turned slowly, and that's when our eyes locked. "Rory..." She rasped. "Oh my god, you're here."

I nodded as I scowled. "Yes, I am. The question is, what are you doing here?"

"She's here because, unlike you, she is part of this family," Sloane muttered.

Mum glared at me with defiant, challenging intent. "If you're staying for dinner, you will keep a civil tongue in your head."

Skye's eyes glazed over, her bottom lip trembled, and she clasped Dylan tightly to her side.

Everybody stared at me. It was one of those cold moments in time. The glares were all expectant.

I pushed my seat back slowly and stood. "I see the way things are. I've changed my mind, Mum. I'm going to stay at a motel."

She leaned menacingly across the table. "You're going nowhere. Tonight isn't about you. It's about your father. We are all grieving here, Rory. Skye and Dylan are part of this family. They will always welcome here at our table."

Shaking my head I snarled. "Not while I'm here. See you later, Mum, let me know what time the funeral is."

I turned to walk away and was halfway to the door when Skye cried out, her voice wavering through sniffles. "Rory, you don't have to leave just because of me."

"Oh yes I do, Skye; the rest of my family may accept cheating sluts at the table, but I don't."

I took another couple of steps before Sloane screamed. "Fuck you Rory. You stupid bastard. Fuck you."

I heard Mum and Skye crying, Skye close to hysterical. I heard Lila trying to console her. "it's okay, Skye, forget him. He's just an arse."

I walked into my room, grabbed my stuff and stormed out. In my car I closed the door and screamed, smashing my fists against the steering wheel in fury. "What the fuck was going on? Why the fuck was she there?"

As I tried to calm down, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. A tap on the window brought me back to the real world. I wound the window down. "Yeah, what do you want, Mike?"

"Rory, the stuff that happened between you and your family was a long time ago. I wasn't around when it all went down, but come on, bro. It was ten years ago, and she has been a part of this family longer than me. Come back inside."

"No, sorry, Mike. I can't do that. I can't believe she's still hanging around my family. They're my family, not hers."

"You're wrong, bro, we are all part of one big family. I'm not trying to play down what happened, but come on, bro. It's your old man's funeral. You can't just walk away."

"I can, actually. He didn't want me here, that's obvious. He didn't even want me to be a pallbearer."

"That's not true, Rory. I knew your old man really well, and he spoke of you often. He missed you, he told me that himself."

"Yeah, whatever. Sorry, Mike, it was nice to meet you. Wish the circumstances could have been better."

He stepped back as I started my car and backed out the driveway.

Driving into town I pulled up at a takeaway place. I had lived in this town for twenty years and I hardly recognised anyone. I ordered my food and found a quiet corner. What a nightmare. What was wrong with my family? Okay, I got Lila and Sloane, they were best friends, especially Sloane. My mother, though, and letting Skye call her mum. What the fuck was that about?

Bloody hell, the cheating bitch fucked my best friend, in our own damn bed for god sake. Then my family defended her. Told me to grow up, get over it, it was a mistake. What about me, why couldn't they back me?

I remember the day I walked in and caught them at it. Skye was mortified and Derrick, yeah, well, when he came to, he was a very sorry boy. The conviction I got for grievous bodily harm was almost worth it.

At least my dad stood up for me that day in court. He pleaded with the Judge, laid out the story and explained that I wasn't a violent person, it was just a crime of passion. On the back of his pleading, I was given a suspended sentence and 300 hours community service, at a battered wives shelter for gods sake.

That's when the fighting started. The day I was released from remand, I kicked Skye out. She wasn't home when I arrived back at the house. I boxed up all her shit and threw it out on the driveway. When she arrived, she begged and pleaded with me, she cried, she tried everything. I refused to even acknowledge her presence, let alone talk to her. I was so incensed by her attitude I filed for divorce the very next day.

Skye had obviously been to my folks' place, because Mum and Dad both came to visit, I still remember the solemn look on his face. "Son, Skye made a huge mistake, but you need to stand up and be counted. She is your wife, you do not walk away from your commitments."

I was shocked. "What about her? What about her commitments?" I barked.

"Son, she did a bad thing, we all accept that. But Son, we have spoken to her and she is sorry for what happened. She was seduced, Rory, I always told you that boy was trouble, but you wouldn't damn well listen."

"Seduced my arse. All she had to do was keep her damn legs together. Sorry, Pop, but she is history."

"Rory, I'm begging you. Please don't do anything hasty. The poor girl is beside herself. She has been at home crying for three days. She is ashamed and embarrassed. I am really concerned for her safety."

"Well kick the slut out and let her go."

"Rory Williams," Mum growled. "You do not mean that."

Fighting back tears, I hissed, "Yes I do, Mum. She is a cheating skanky bitch, and I will have nothing more to do with her."

As they were about to leave, I handed them the divorce papers. "If you see her, give these to her."

Mum was distraught and in hysterics as Dad led her out to the car. I even got a visit from Skye's mother. She started yelling the moment I opened the door. That was easy; I just slammed it in her face.

It seemed like the whole world was on her side. I couldn't understand it. Why, for god's sake?

Over the next couple of weeks, the battle lines hardened. I got angry visits from both my sisters, which ended up in real screaming matches.

Mum and Dad tried several times to get us together, but I refused every time. They tried tricking me by inviting me for dinner, only to find Skye was there as well. That really made me angry.

The last time she threw herself at my feet bawling her eyes out. "Please, Rory, let me explain, talk to me."

"No, no fucking way. This is your fault you cheating, bitch. You're not sorry for anything except the fact I caught you. God knows how many times you fucked him. If I hadn't caught you at it, you'd still be doing it."

Dad rushed over and grabbed me, he shook me hard. "Stop it, do you hear me? Just stop it. She's trying to tell you. She made a mistake. You need to grow up, son."

"Rory, she's your wife." Mum screamed. "Your wife."

I tried to walk away, but Dad held me tightly. "Rory, you walk away now and you will never be welcome here again. I will not stand for my son behaving like that. This family will wipe their hands of you if you do not try to put this right. You have to sit down and talk this through. Skye loves you, and I know you love her."

I snatched my arm out of his. "You're right, Dad, I did love her, that was my mistake. It'll never happen again."

"Son, I'm not joking. Walk away now, and you can never come back."

The crazed look in his eye only infuriated me more. "Have it your way, Dad. You don't want me in the family anymore? Well, okay. Goodbye. I don't know what I did to you to make you hate me so much, but there's gotta be something. Skye cheated on me with my best friend, and you've taken her side."

That was the day I left town. I packed up all my tools and clothes and just drove away.

That was my last memory of my Dad, and it was burned deep into my memory. Now with his passing, I felt terrible, I had always planned to come home and try to mend that relationship, but life seemed to get in the way. I lived at the other end of the country, work was going so well and my art work flourished. >ike all procrastinators, I put it off, and put it off, and now it was too late."

Laying in my bed in the motel, with cars zooming past, horns beeping, trucks, it was noisy, but I could still hear my heart pounding. Why did Skye have to look so good? Even after all this time, she looked spectacular. I remembered back to my youth. Skye was Sloane's best friend; she spent more time at our house than her own.

Passing through puberty meant I went through what all kids go through, I was infatuated with Skye. She was two years older than me, and watching her became my pastime of choice. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the world. It broke my heart when she started dating boys, and she and Sloane went out on dates. Mine was a secret guilty fascination. I just followed them around like a lost puppy. Sloane hated it and complained constantly to Mum to get me to stop. It was Skye who stood up for me. "He's not doing any harm, Sloane, leave the poor boy in peace."

That only made me love her more. Yeah I was more than obsessed, I was in love.

It wasn't until I left school and got a job that Skye noticed me. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. The shoe was suddenly on the other foot: she chased me. She didn't have to try very hard; I was hardly running away.

It killed Sloane when we started dating. It took months before Sloane and Skye were able to rebuild their friendship.

Seeing her again brought back all those wonderful memories. Getting our first flat, house hunting, the wedding. I thought our life was perfect. Yeah, we argued, and when we did it was fiery: we were both passionate people, both had strong ideals. When we fought, it did escalate pretty quickly.