A Little Christmas Gift for Me

I didn't have a stomachache, but that was the story I told to earn an early release from family Christmas. It was clear from the look on my mother's face she doubted me, and I couldn't even blame her, as heretofore I'd been the only sign of life at the gathering. But I didn't care if she believed the lie or not. I needed to leave.

Don't misunderstand: unlike many people in their late twenties, I rather enjoyed my family, and we'd spent a perfectly wonderful Christmas together. We'd already opened presents and had dinner as well as dessert, and I'd fully planned on sticking around to watch Home Alone with the group as per tradition.

But that was before Ethan texted me, saying he would finally let me come over. He'd had a long day at his own family Christmas, and after completing the four-hour drive home, he was too tired to give himself a shower.

And thus, I spun my tale of sudden-onset nausea and fled my parents' home.

I'd known about Ethan longer than he'd known about me, but we didn't actually connect with one another until Thanksgiving weekend, and our only communication had been over Grindr. His had been a blank profile, so I hadn't paid it any attention. Not until he started a conversation with me by sending a photo of his face.

Of course, I recognized him immediately. I'd been obsessed with him since June, though not obsessed in any particularly romantic or longing sense. Rather, I hated Ethan. Despised him. Loathed him. Had vivid fantasies of giving him a never-ending swirly while calling him every manner of homophobic slur. And I'd expected him to feel the same way about me since I figured it was only logical given our connections.

But as we chatted on Grindr, it soon became clear he had no idea who I was, not even after I showed him several different face pics. I must admit I was deeply offended. To have a mortal enemy is only natural; to have a mortal enemy who detests you is thrilling; to have a mortal enemy who previously had no knowledge of your existence is an unforgivable affront.

Despite the fact I'd begun abhorring him more than ever before as a result, I wanted to have sex with him. The only problem was, he'd just been dumped by his boyfriend, and he wasn't sure he was ready for a hook-up so soon. I feigned complete ignorance of his breakup and expressed my great sympathy for him, which was entirely fictitious. But I knew if I wanted the chance to lick his body, I'd have to play nice.

And so I did. We exchanged phone numbers, and he subjected me to the most mind-numbingly insipid textual interactions I've ever endured. Nevertheless, I muscled through like an American hero, patiently waiting for my chance to get him naked in bed.

My patience lasted about a week until I gave up entirely. As a man who considers himself fascinating to a fault, I could not countenance another single-word message, vapid anecdote, or misunderstanding of a clever quip of mine. I didn't care who he was or how pretty his penis might have been. I simply hadn't the fortitude necessary to withstand his violent paucity of personality, and I wondered what his former boyfriend had ever seen in him to begin with.

But then, a few days before Christmas, Ethan texted me, apologizing for letting our conversations fade away (as if he'd ever done anything to invigorate them in the first place) and saying he thought he might like to get together one of these days.

We swapped messages over the ensuing days, and on Christmas, Ethan complained constantly about how awful his family was and how ready he was to be home. And then when he eventually left, he started telling me how horny he was. But as he got closer to his house, he suddenly expressed a good deal of sleepiness and a need to bathe. One thing led to another, and I generously agreed to join him in the shower to keep him on his feet.

When he answered the door in sweatpants and a T-shirt, I found he'd had the temerity to be shorter than I'd thought him. His face was pleasant enough to look at without being quite handsome, with sad brown eyes, a small nose, and a round head. And while he hadn't the height I'd hoped for, his mostly athletic frame suggested a sufficiently appetizing body underneath his clothes.

He was as bad at small talk in person as he was via text, and I nearly aborted the entire mission after seventy-five seconds. But just as I was about to eject, he invited me back to the master bedroom, where his shower was.

Once there, I immediately dropped to my knees in front of him, eager to move the process beyond the point of needing to hear him speak further. I tugged down his sweatpants, revealing somewhat muscled, hairy legs poking out of hideous gray spandex underwear that stretched below his mid-thigh. The only saving grace here was that I could see clearly he was already erect -- though the bulge was nothing prodigious -- and there was a wet spot where his tip was.

I slipped my fingers into the waistband of the underwear and pulled them down. His dick pointed straight at my nose, and here I must confess my great joy in its petiteness. Not that it was a micro; it probably reached four and a half inches in length and was little larger than a half-dollar in girth. I found it quite to my liking -- I'd never been a fan of huge cocks -- but I took pleasure in the knowledge that other men less refined and progressive than myself might not.

It appeared he and Daniel were evenly matched in this particular competition.

Oh, yes. I forgot to mention it earlier: I knew Ethan's ex-boyfriend.

I knew him well.

After casting aside his pants and underwear, I wrapped my hand around Ethan's modest penis and gave him a light stroke. That elicited a groan from him and made me stiffen up in my pants. I leaned forward and kissed him directly on his pink, swollen glans, swiping my tongue across his piss slit to sample his precum.

"Fuck," whined Ethan as he rocked forward onto his toes.

I grinned at such a reaction to a small provocation. "You like that?" I asked, looking up at him.

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh, yes."

I hopped up to my feet. "Let's get this off of you," I said as I grabbed the hem of his shirt and drew it up over his head.

His chest was fine, the kind of torso a guy who's been skinny all his life would have upon reaching age twenty-seven and deciding to try bulking up three months ago. He had sparse hair on his sternum, his nipples, and below his belly button, which led down to his unkempt pubic hair.

It certainly must have been a bit since the last time he'd been naked with anyone.

I ran my knuckles from his collarbone to his cock and then suggested, "Let's get you into the shower."

He looked at me with wide eyes. "You're getting in too, right?"

I shrugged. "If you want me to."

"I do."

"Then I will," I said.

"Not in your clothes, though, right?"

I stepped out of my shoes and reached down to remove my socks. "I suppose not. I'd be very cold when I went outside."

He stood there useless and naked as I stripped down, and by the time I was nude as well, my erection had slackened somewhat. Ethan seemed to be utterly devoid of any sensuality, and had I not had my own objectives here, I'd have gotten dressed again and walked out.

Ethan stared me up and down, and his eyes bulged out of his skull when he saw my penis. "Damn, that's a thick cock!" he observed with wonder.

That comment made my dick immediately surge to attention. In reality, my tool was thoroughly average, but compared to Ethan and Daniel, I may as well have been John Holmes. Having Ethan recognize that was a promising start, and I'd be lying if I claimed to not return to that memory often ever since.

He led me into the bathroom, and as he waited for the water to sufficiently heat up, he told me in the least interesting way possible about his plan to replace the tiles over the weekend. He remained rigid the whole time, and once again, his dullness caused me to wane a bit.

But then, we got into the shower, and I began applying body wash to him. However much I disliked him, he looked pretty good naked, and touching his body all over aroused me. I gave him a genuine scrubbing, but I devoted extra attention to his genitals and ass. I always preferred those parts to be clean anyway, and I also didn't mind the opportunity to become intimately familiar with them.

I considered masturbating him with the soap as lube, knowing how much it would make his urethra burn the next time he took a piss. However, that would have been too cruel, so I rinsed him off, knelt before him, and began sucking his penis. After a few seconds, I palpated his little balls with my fingers before traveling back to his taint and then his hole.

His delighted moans made my cock bubble up without my even needing to rub it.

Three minutes later, I could tell Ethan was getting close, so I let his dick fall out of my mouth and said, "I want to fuck you."

He opened his eyes, seemingly started by the declaration. "You do?"

"I do," I replied as I poked at his hole.

"I haven't bottomed in a while."

"Doesn't matter to me," I said. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

I grinned. "Perfect."

This was going swimmingly, even despite Ethan's blandness.

I shut off the water myself, and Ethan handed me a towel. We dried off and went back to the bedroom with our erections whipping back and forth.

After confirming we were both on PrEP, Ethan took a bottle of lube from a drawer and handed it to me. Then, he got up on all fours on the bed with his ass cheeks spread, and I stepped up behind him and buried my face in his crack, making out with his hole the way I couldn't bring myself to do with his lips.

He mewled as I ate him out, and my cock swelled even more.

His hole was tight, but the sphincter gradually loosened with the caresses of my tongue. Once I was satisfied with that progress, I put some lube on my fingers and slipped first one and then two inside of him.

"Fuck!" cried Ethan.

"You good?" I asked.

"Yes," he gasped. "It's just been a while. But it's good."

I continued to finger him with one hand as I greased up my dick with the other. Then, I pressed my tip against his opening and slowly slid in.

"Oh!" he yelped. "God, you're so thick."

I smirked as I pushed further inside. I paused momentarily when my pubic bone pressed against his ass, and then I began to thrust back and forth.

His hole compressed my penis more than Daniel's ever had, and as I fucked Ethan, I wondered who had taken which role when the two of them did anal.

Ethan wailed with pleasure each time my cock slammed into him. He barely lasted a minute, and as soon as I realized he'd ejaculated all over his comforter, I spewed my semen in his hole.

It wasn't that the physical sensation of fucking him had been so superlative. Rather, it was the fact that I'd made Ethan -- the man Daniel had chosen over me -- cum so quickly and easily.

I deposited all my feelings of being a jilted lover into Ethan's ass, and for the first time in months, I felt a certain lightness come over me.

He had been a terrible sex partner, but I didn't care. In some way, even though he'd gotten (if only briefly) the man I loved, I had gotten a delicious consolation prize.

Just a little Christmas gift for me.